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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years, and he had some trouble in the past with this relationship. I am very patient with him, yet he seems to disappoint me by his actions for lack of better terms. For example, we decided (more his idea than mine) to start couple's counseling over 2 months ago. Yet, we haven't started it. Why? His reason is that he's working and doesn't have time to send the required information off to get us started. I remind him every other day about it, and he still doesn't do anything on his end to begin it even though I'm ready, I offered to help him myself, send his information off for him, and he declined.

Recently, I needed assistance to pay for my new phone since my old one had broken badly. I was going to do it by myself and asked him, "if I needed help, will you be there for me" and he said, "yes." But, I couldn't access my online bank since I kept getting the password wrong and asked him to lend me money which I'll pay him back for whenever I get my phone. He said sure and then backed out, saying I was rude/mean/ungrateful/disrespectful when I didn't even say anything. I was taken aback regarding his behavior since he didn't keep his word, and that has been his issue for a long time. I ended up calling an old friend and she helped me get the phone. He apologized for his actions after telling him my friend assisted me, saying he had a bad day at work. I spent so much money on him in the past, regardless of his behavior, to make him happy and be the most reliable person for him.

He said that he's going to spending >1/2 of his earnings on me and that I should behave differently. I told him to keep his money if he doesn't want to spend it; I never ask him for money unless I really need it. It felt like he wanted to be powerful/control the situation to his advantage since I'm the one asking, and I'll be damned to be controlled again since I was sexually assaulted in the past by being controlled for 1.5 years. What do you think?