Dating An Ex Cam Girl?

[Anonymous]

A few years ago I was in between jobs and had a lot of free time. I talked a lot to a girl on Tumblr until she decided to start working on a cam site. I followed her there, but after she left the site I stayed. I ended up meeting another girl who was working on the site to pay for college. We decided to end the sexual component quickly as it was making things awkward. A year passed and we became very close. We talked for hours almost every day on the site, in messages, and in Skype calls. She left the cam site just before graduation and I left with her. She trusted me enough to eventually give me all of her personal info. It's now been 3.5 years and we are still Skyping 2-3 time per week and talking a lot in texts. We know everything about each other. She is basically the girl of my dreams. She's more beautiful than any girl iv'e ever met, smart, funny, courageous, I can go on and on. The problem is, she has over 50 recorded sex videos online. Her name was exposed by a guy that harassed her in the past. If you search her full name, you can find everything. I know most of these videos will never disappear, and it's already been found by many of her friends, sister, and mother. I come from a very conservative family and they would never accept her past. As the years pass, more and more videos are posted. Every new video kills me a little more inside. I worry how this would impact our future. We don't live in the same country, so a real relationship will require complete investment. When i'm in doubt, we see each other in Skype and all the doubts disappear. She makes me more happy than anyone else ever has, and she understands me like nobody ever has. I'm not really thinking of ending things with her, I'm just curious what others think. Any input, experiences, or advice would be helpful. Thanks.

So my question is:
Would you date someone who previously worked on a cam site, if they were basically the girl/guy of your dreams?

YES, I would date

NO, I would not date

[molonski2]

In a past life , I knew and managed a plethora of strippers , some of them ventured into this " Cam world " , I remember this girl saying to me ( talking of her boyfriend ) , " I can't believe he was so pissed off when I bought this new Cam camera for $2k " , I explained to her it was most probably not the $2k he was pissed about. What kind of boyfriend did she actually want? What most of these girls dont realise is that you give away apart of yourself with every cam show , every intense personal dance , you are not only a sex worker you are selling sex , then youve crossed the line , all these people always upon always , return to there base , they can't stop , like a moth to the flame. You can't separate the sex life , not saying , but she's probably hypersexual , this is really common , its same with the strippers the sex is really good , but you seem to be talking serious.
By all means get amougst it and have some great sex , but never too serious believe me ( no matter the education ) , they just can't toss this monkey.
I mean you can work in Hooters and say the same thing , but as soon as you take the next step " Hooters golf days " " Hooters private parties " , life changes forever , views on money , relationships etc.
On You tube there is this one " Interview with a Stripper " go to the NZ girl , " day in the life " and beyond stuff , and watch her actions , I saw this stuff , day after day after day , after torrid emotional day , they never recover. And think about it? What kind of man is happy to tolerate that? I know she's not working now , that doesn't matter.

[Asker]

Thanks for your honest insight.

[Avicenna]

In addition to your family’s view of her work as a cam girl, you may also have to take those of future employers, business partners, clients or colleagues into account.

I personally would not date a woman with that background.

[Asker]

Valid points, I've spent many nights thinking about all of these situations. Thanks for your input.

[SueShe]

I would personally never date a person that is an active or past sex worker.

There are way too many obstacles to make a relation work because of her past. A person that needs to sell her body to get money is not a reliable person to me. That is a very superficial individual that goes the easy way to get what she wants. She could have taken a job as a waitress or anything that is considered a decent job.

A girl that is a cam girl or works as a sex worker is not a serious person and I fail to see how she could be considered smart since she knew very well when she became a sex worker that her body would be all over the internet. That does not show smartness, nor does it show intelligence. It only shows that this person is very materialistic and that sex is THE way to achieve a goal in life. I don't personally think much of people that go that path.

The only right thing for you to do is to get away from her as fast as you can.

[Asker]

I completely understand your POV. I used to think this way about sex work, you come to realize life is not always so black and white. Sometimes you make the right decision and sometimes you don't. She learned these lessons the hard way. Since leaving, she has graduated, started her own business, and really turned her life around. I love there person she is now, and can forgive her past.

[SueShe]

Good for you if you feel that way. Just make sure that her past is not catching up when you least expect it...

[RedChaoticPanda]

It totally depends on her take of her job. Does she like it, does she hate it. The thing is, is it fun for her? a lot of girls like to show off their confidence, outfits etc as they are things that make her look good, feel good etc.. so many people like to see her like this, etc so many people love her etc. It is 110% on what she feels because if she likes the attention then it probably won't stop. I have a friend who flirts with everyone regardless orientation or whether they had a partner. It made her feel good and want to continue with a better outcome.

[Asker]

She worked on the site as long as she needed to finish college, and even left earlier. It's been 2.5 years and she hasn't returned. She only misses the high pay, and that it allowed her to travel the world, and help her family financially. She says didn't like the job and doesn't want to go back. This job ruined her reputation among her fiends and family.

[Selene1600000]

This isn’t really about her past it’s about whether you can fully accept it without resentment or shame showing up later. If her history and the reality that those videos exist will keep bothering you family pressure, future impact, your own values, then forcing yourself to stay will eventually hurt both of you. But if you can genuinely accept her as she is and focus on how she treats you now, then the distance and real-life compatibility matter more than her past just be honest with yourself before going all in.

[bamesjond0069]

Nope she's undateable. Move on. Id say have your fun first but she doesn't even live near you. Wtf are you doing bro? Just stop it. Go find a cute girl working register at the mall.

[Iron_Man]

Bad move