Many things that young nerdy looking guys have to deal with from so many young females

[ManuelMarquez]

I'm not a nerd (I don't hate studying and I am not that smart lol) but I look like a nerd and dress like one,and dress like one and many of the stuff that I am about to list has happened to me and a good amount of other acquaintances that look like nerds. Also my best friend that doesn't look like a nerd at all, has seen a lot what I am about to talk about in grade school,college/university, and outside of school:

1. Many young nerdy looking guys have to deal with most young females getting annoyed when they try to have friendly convos with them, yet many of these same young females call these guys ''weird'' if they are being quiet and not socializing with other people.

2. Many of them have to deal with getting ignored by a lot of young women

Fortunately most young women stop being this way to nerdy looking guys when they are around 25 years old or older (when they matured a lot). Of the young females under 25 years old that are ok with nerdy looking guys being friendly with them and socializing with them. I am proud of you.

[Bluemax]

Well, I did the whole Dungeons and Dragons scene. I loved physics and science fiction (I still do). I once had a very spirited debate with a friend that took up an entire lunch hour and several walks home from school about which starship would win in a fight: the Enterprise or the Battlestar Galactica. My wife laughed when my friend told her I was the Farmer Ted of my high school (google him if you don't know who he is). Geeky enough for you (by the way, my students today assure me there is a difference between nerd and geek... and they would say you are using "nerd" for what they would call a "geek")?

Some girls approached me, but I often reacted like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYHkbOugcD0

However, sometime around college I began to realize that in some cases (and I acknowledge there are some people who are just assholes no matter how you act) women were being put off by my actions. My cluelessness. When I started working in retail during college, I noticed that people GENERALLY (and of course there are exceptions) give back what you put out. Put out a nervous vibe, that's what you get back. Put out a hostile vibe. That's what you get back. Put out a standoffish vibe. That's what you get.

Could it be, Manuel, that the awkwardness many geeks display might be offputting to women? Then some geeks perceive this as a sort of hostility, and start to get hostile themselves, which then results in some hostility on the part of the women, and so the spiral goes down and down? I'm not suggesting this is always the case, but do you think it could be in some or even most cases?

[ManuelMarquez]

Some cases, but I know geeky or nerdy looking guys that have a nerdy look that are not awkward and talk fine and many young people under 25 get annoyed that a nerdy looking person is talking to them.

[Bluemax]

Ah, well perhaps they could consider any of these alternatives:
Change their appearance
Not give a shit that some people are off put by their appearance.

[ManuelMarquez]

They are not going to change their appearance because if they change their appearance they wouldn't know which person is truly a nice person and would have talked to them when they looked nerdy. They don't like jerks and I don't either. I put up with the same stuff cause of the way I look.

[CrayolaCupcake]

I dunno, I personally like nerdy guys. But it could be the way that you guys are approaching them. For example, I've got an artist friend who was sitting by herself, working on something, homework or a drawing. Normally, you don't approach people when they're busy like that. He was like, "Hey, do you play this video game?" She said, "No, I don't." So if we're not into video games, it's just not something that interests us (not saying this is for all girls, I've got a few female gamer friends) we're not going to be very involved in the conversation. Anyway, he noticed she was an artist, and he pulled up pics on his laptop of a girl in this game. This girl was very scantily clad. And mostly boobs and butt. He asked if she would draw it for him, and she said no, that picture was sexually objectifying her. This is an example of a conversation that would turn a girl off. But a lot of times, if you come up to us and start a casual conversation, we can be pretty nice. But when either person in a conversation goes on about something the other party does not know much about or considers boring, the conversation won't be very fulfilling. Hope this helped. :)

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupCake me and other most other nerdy looking guys that I have knew have approached the young females completely fine and we didn't say anything creepy at all. We talked about things most other guys talk about. Yeah you like nerdy guys but most young females don't. Most young females don't like to have friendly convos with them. There are females that have no problem having friendly convos with them. But they don't represent the majority of young females.

[CrayolaCupcake]

I suppose that's true. Honestly it might be the way you dress and portray yourselves, as that will affect your attractiveness. You don't have to change, people will say my short hair is not attractive and I'm keeping it, but that could be one of the things affecting your relationship with women. When you say you dress like a stereotypical nerd, what do you mean?

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupCake it is true and wth does looks or the way someone dress have to do with friendly convos? We are not hitting on them, it is just chit chat. If you agree with young women not wanting to have a friendly convo just because the way the guys look, then I feel sorry for you. Looks, etc. matter for DATING, not for friendly chit chat. I am talking about like wearing glasses and dressing plain most of the time.

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupcake read my last response to you

[CrayolaCupcake]

No, I absolutely don't agree with that. I have glasses and dress in nerdy anime t shirts and jeans all the time. But I will say, clothing does affect how you will be seen. It shouldn't, but it does. And I'm sorry for that. Maybe you just haven't found the right girls? There are lots of girls out there that shouldn't mind chatting.

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupcake most young chicks under 25 aren't nerdy or geeky, I have no problems having convos with them but unless I have certain classes with them like in college which have many of them in them (which I don't) I would just come across some. Like I said I am not a nerd but I dress like one and I am not that smart, so all the classes the huge majority of people aren't nerds or geeks, even though I am not a nerd, I know most nerdy or geeky women would have no problem talking to me since most are a lot less judgmental than your average young women under 25. And even if the way someone looks will affect how they will be seen, I will not change my appearance whatsoever. Cause if I do that, I bet many more women would be ok with chatting with me, and I don't like those type of women, that would chat with certain guys and not guys in general. Me staying the way I am, I would come across once in a while women that truly have a good heart and would have no problem talking to me.

[CrayolaCupcake]

Then, that's cool, go for it! I'm not giving up my short hair or nerdy t shirts either. :) Although you might be stereotyping a bit. I wish you luck, and I think you'd be surprised. I tend to find a lot of nerdy women. Check out the comic book section of your library or bookstore. Tons of women like Doctor Who, Portal had a huge female fanbase, etc., etc.

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupcake what exactly am I stereotyping?

[CrayolaCupcake]

That nerdy girls are less open.

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupcake well most of them are. I am not talking about dating for pete's sake. I am talking about friendly convos. Most nerdy women could give a you know what how a guy looks like that they are having a convo with.

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupcake less open about what?

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupcake please respond

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupcake I guess the truth hurts you.

[ManuelMarquez]

@CrayolaCupcake the huge majority of nerdy chicks don't care about looks when it comes to friendly conversations.

[GunnerGirl]

Ha I disagree with 1
For me I found the social ones the more childish ones, and the more shy ones were the smarter ones. It's the shy ones that I'd notice first ^^

I wouldn't ignore, unless you hurt me badly or something
they just had to talk to me and everything should be okay

[ManuelMarquez]

@GunnerGirl so you disagree with me just because YOU are nice to them. I never said all young women under 25 treated them this way. I said MOST.

[GunnerGirl]

Ya I just had constant flashbacks, I'm sorry xD

[ManuelMarquez]

@GunnerGirl alright but I am not lying about what I am talking about.

[Prof_Don]

You know what, I don't think it is the nerdiness of the guys that is bothersome to the younger ladies.

It is a combination of these two things:

1) lack of social skills
2) not making themselves as attractive as possible

Although I may not look like it, I'm a nerd at my core. I have associated with many nerd types in my lifetime.

The majority of them that I knew, were apathetic about their personal style, and didn't bother to put the time in to excel in their social skills. Social skills, regardless of popular belief, are LEARNED.

Most of them were always "behind their same age peers " when it comes to sociability with girls as well as with guys (including each other).

[ManuelMarquez]

@Prof_Don make themselves as attractive as possible? You sound like an immature person because looks don't matter when it comes to friendly convo. That is like me saying I won't be friendly with a chick just cause she is fat. It is not flirting, I am not making out with her, or anything. It is just friendly convo. And I have known many friendly nerds or guys that look like nerds but aren't nerds that are friendly and they experienced this stuff. My best friend who doesn't look like a nerd at all witnessed many friendly nerdy looking guys experiencing this nonsense by women in front of his eyes. He decided to go have a convo with these same women to test them out to see if they would treat them the same way, and they didn't. They were ok with talking to him, and he talked about the same thing the other guys did.

[Prof_Don]

Whenever a guy is talking to a female stranger, it is natural for that female stranger to make the presumption he is interested in her.

She's more than fair to have that idea in her mind.

[ManuelMarquez]

@Prof_Don well the females that are assuming shouldn't assume right away. I can understand her thinking that if it is a bar or club, but not work or a classroom. But some women assume guys that do is anywhere may be interested in her. She shouldn't assume when she actually doesn't know. Most women 25 and over don't do this. Most don't mind nerdy looking guys having friendly convos with them, or ugly, or fat guys having friendly convos with them.

[ManuelMarquez]

@Prof_Don you need to mature man

[Prof_Don]

Dude stop being thick headed. The way you look does affect how you are perceived and treated (no matter what you "intentions" with that person are).

Why don't you want to make yourself look as good as possible?

[ManuelMarquez]

@Prof_Don I never said I didn't. I dress nice on the weekends, but still wear my glasses. I just have the nerd look regardless how I dress. And most women 25 and over don't care how you dress or look like when it comes to friendly conversation. That shows the immaturity level on most women under 25 years old. And dude what are you going to say next? Are you going to say that fat women need to lose weight if they want guys to be nice to them?

[Prof_Don]

In all facets of life, the more overall attractive someone looks (hygiene/style as well as one's natural look), the better they are received by everyone!

Male, female, all ages, all nations, all sub-cultures... doesn't matter. Please stop deluding yourself thinking this doesn't matter. It does.

[Prof_Don]

This goes for women too. The more attractive she is, the better she is received by others. I've been losing weight (while keeping the same overall style), and I definitely notice how differently I'm treated! All of that matters.

Anyone who lost a lot of weight in their lifetime, can attest to being treated extremely different after the weight loss vs. before.

[ManuelMarquez]

@Prof_Don dude so you are saying it is ok for people to treat fat people differently than others? That is sad man.

[Prof_Don]

It's not OK at all! But it happens.

This is why making yourself as attractive as possible makes one's entire quality of life better.

[Prof_Don]

You can't change every negative thing about the world! Something you have to stop theorizing and pondering about stuff, and just do it (in this case, make yourself look as good as possible) because it works in your favor.

Play the game of life to the fullest, and stop bitching about the rules of the game.

[Bluemax]

Amen, profdon! This response is so awesome Ima be speakin' in tongues!

More to say later.

[Prof_Don]

@Bluemax the sermon about the Game of Life had to be delivered by Reverend Don! ;-)

[ManuelMarquez]

@Prof_Don you are actually a reverend or just joking?

[Prof_Don]

Just joking! :-P

[krissgib]

Truth hurts. It's sad to say it but yep. It very common now days. I think it should stop.

[ManuelMarquez]

@krissgib yeah. Many females deny this unfortunately. And you are right, the truth hurts to people obviously. because look, there are not other responses right now.

[krissgib]

You just wrote it. Give it time. But yes a lot hasn't noticed. They should but don't.

[ManuelMarquez]

@krissgib why do you think a lot haven't noticed?

[krissgib]

Denial, or hiding the fact they do it too.

[ManuelMarquez]

@krissgib wow I feel bad for those people.

[krissgib]

Same here, glad I never did it. I'd never stoop that low.

[sean1234]

Hmm, I just don't know, I guess you could be correct. Most of the pretty girls I knew were like always taken. All I know is that girls here and there under 25 always liked bad boys that would always dump them, but those fools went back for more.

[ManuelMarquez]

@sean1234 I am right, cause I have experienced and most other nerdy looking guys I know as well. Also my best friend seen it happen in front of him many times and he is not nerdy looking. Also, most young women under 25 in general do it. Not just the preety ones.

[sean1234]

I don't know if I was ever considered nerdy. I just don't think that way. I see the nerd thing in tv shows and movies, I just dont think of anyone as one. I had female friends back then, I don't remember any of them making nerdy comments.

ANYWAYS. I think some have associated nerdy with being skinny, what do you think Manuel?

[ManuelMarquez]

@sean1234 no people consider nerdy looking, like the way I look. Wearing glasses and dressing plain most of the time. Even you never heard your female friends back then never made comments, either they were nerdy or nerdy looking females themselves, or you just never heard them say it, or they never said what they thought out loud, or your female friends were some of the very few young females who weren't like that. It is really common man. Also I am glad you don't think that way.

[sean1234]

Back then I had glasses, then I lost them in a lake, LOL! Some girls wore contact lenses I knew. It's different, but not by much.

Oh and are you muscular? If you're not, then do you think girls would see you different if you were 20+ or so pounds more muscular? It just makes me wonder.

[ManuelMarquez]

@sean1234 no I am not muscular. I am skinny. But that is not the point, if they would see me differently, if I had more muscle. The point is it is sad how most women under 25 don't even want to have a friendly convo with a nerdy looking guy. It is immature man. It is just friendly convo. I like it how most women 25 and over are not this way and how most by that age have no problem having friendly convos with guys that look like me.

[sean1234]

It's funny now that I think of it, how some women don't like muscular guys and I get the impression that we don't have to be as big as a big bodybuilder for them to still find us to big. Of course not all women think like that either. I don't know what kind of girls you're attracted to, but they just don't seem nice.

[sean1234]

I mean I've seen many girls, very attractive ones too who had quite skinny boyfriends, so your figure might not be it. I mean what would you say or do for them to not ignore you? I don't know.

[ManuelMarquez]

@sean1234 me and other nerdy looking guys talked about things most other guys talk about. We didn't say anything bad. Yes some women like guys with not that much muscle. We are not talking about that. We are talking about most young women under 25 don't want to have friendly convos with young nerdy looking guys which is stupid, because we are not flirting with you and looks don't matter for simple chit chat. It matters for DATING though. That is like so stupid man. And the other guys and I are not talking to certain type of women, we are talking to all kinds of women regardless how they look like and most of the women under 25 treat us this way. SOME ARE ok with having friendly convos with us, but the huge majority aren't. Like I said before my best friend who is not nerdy looking seen this happen to him in front of his face many times and he said the guys talked about things fine, etc. He decided to approach these same women and talk about the same thing and they were ok with talking to him.

[sean1234]

I never usually go on the "My take" section. Have you tried posting this in the Question section?

[ManuelMarquez]

@sean1234 I have a long, long time ago, like a year ago, Do you think I should do it again? And what do you think of my last response to you?

[sean1234]

I read it. Sometimes I just think there might be a few good ladies where you live, but not enough to stay if you are really complaining that much about them. I myself live in a city, but considering how I have almost met more normal girls int the country, I would just rather live there.

[ManuelMarquez]

@sean1234 I live in the city, not the country. and I did consider the few women under 25 who have been nice to other nerdy looking guys that I know and I but that still doesn't hide the fact that most women under 25 doesn't want to be friendly with us just cause of the way we look.

[sean1234]

Maybe if one was to live in the country, there would be less people to be compared to.

[ManuelMarquez]

@sean1234 you mean more nice women under 25 in the country?

[sean1234]

It's just the way things are. Have you ever looked at the voting polls, like for president? The cities vote liberal and are lit up blue, while the non city areas vote conservative and are lit up red. It's not a coincidence that there are more nice people in less populated areas.

[sean1234]

This is why I say politics is life, because no matter what people think, who you vote for effects everything and everyone.

[ManuelMarquez]

@sean1234 alright.

[Stacyzee]

First impressions is a normal thing for people to have.
Whether someone feels their first impression is accurate or not, of course will stem from you.

Even girls over the age of 25, will not give a guy the time a day if he doesn't appeal to her.
That's a normal thing for anyone to have... a type.
Whether these young women allow you to show you are beyond who they think you are is another story.

[ManuelMarquez]

@Stacyzee I am talking about friendly convos!! I am not talking about flirting or trying to impress women and I am not talking about asking out on dates. For a woman to not give a guy the time of day to have a simple conversation just because he loosk nerdy is immature and most women 25 and up have first impressions when it comes to a guy ASKING THEM OUT, not for a simple convo, most women 25 and over are ok with having friendly convos with someone regardless how they look like.

[Stacyzee]

U ask me to respond to this horribly written take and then down vote me? Wow

[Stacyzee]

Clearly I was speaking about from a dating stand point. But since u down voted me and didn't give me much time to respond to this before coming to a conclusion , perhaps I'll save my breath

[ManuelMarquez]

@Stacyzee that wasn't me that downvoted you. I don't downvote people unless they are being mean to me. You and I are cool. Did you read my last response? Do you understand what I am saying now?

[ManuelMarquez]

@Stacyzee I didn't downvote you!!!

[ManuelMarquez]

@Stacyzee I don't downvote people unless they are being mean. You weren't being mean!! You shouldn't assume!!

[ManuelMarquez]

@Stazyzee I am not lying.

[ManuelMarquez]

@Stacyzee

[Stacyzee]

@ManuelMarquez Sorry I apologize in that case. What you are saying is true based on your observation. In general, I don't know why some of us are superficial and feel the need to not communicate with someone based off of their looks. I've always been this way even when I was 18. Hopefully these women will change when they get a little older.

[Stacyzee]

And when I say us , I mean "women" in general regardless of age

[ManuelMarquez]

@Stacyzee you didn't read everything I said. You think I am ONLY talking about my experiences when I am not only talking about my experiences. I said I know many other guys that are nerdy looking that experienced the same stuff and my best friend who is not nerdy looking seen it happen to many other nerdy looking guys in front of his face. He decided to go up to these same young women that are under 25 and talk about the same thing the other guys were talking about to test out to see if the women would be ok with talking to him, and guess what? They were actually ok with talking to him. My best friend who is not nerdy looking at all doesn't like at how most young women under 25 are like this.

[Stacyzee]

You are being very specific and exact. Yes it's true based on your observations and ( those that you know). I am no doubting you in anyway. I am just simply giving my two cents.

[ManuelMarquez]

@Stazyzee ok. What is it with most women under 25 not wanting to have a simple convo with someone just because of the way they look? That's silly

[Stacyzee]

I was never that way a few years ago, so even I can't tell you. I think it comes down to the persons maturity level and their personality (they feel better than u, like u shouldn't be talking to them)

[ManuelMarquez]

@Stacyzee yeah most women under 25 are not mature unfortunately. I am thankful to women under 25 that are ok with having friendly convos with guys that look like me (which is a few). I am glad you were different from most other females when you were under 25.

[RationalLioness]

That's not true. I would consider it to be if you're UNATTRACTIVE. Period. Some women don't want to suffer a "friendly conversation" from an unattractive stranger. It makes some women uncomfortable.

I'll tolerate it and if it's honestly a friendship, high five. But if he wants something more, I'm going to think up of an excuse to run the other way.

[Prof_Don]

I believe the main reason "friendly conversation" with an unattractive male stranger to women is uncomfortable, is because of the idea of possibly having to reject him.

Women are such cowards when it comes to this stuff.

[RationalLioness]

For some it's rejection. And I don't think it's cowardice but more empathy---they're not going to be rude assholes (some of them) to a guy they're not interested in because they don't want to be treated that way if someone wasn't interested in them. It's about putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

Sometimes the guys are creepy or too persistent and annoying.

[Prof_Don]

Exactly what I said on my opinion here! I don't think it is the fact the guys are nerds that they struggle with girls early in life and beyond.

Most of them don't make themselves as attractive as possible, and don't put in the time to learn adequate social skills.

[ManuelMarquez]

@RationalLioness looks don't matter when it comes to friendly convos. I didn't say anything about flirting, I am just talking about chit chat. That is like some guy not wanting to have a friendly convo with a woman because she is fat. Seriously, wth is this immature stuff? It is just friendly social chit chat. The women that feel uncomfortable with a guy being social with them just because of the way he looks is truly immature. Those are women like under 25 most of the time.

[ManuelMarquez]

@RationalLioness you need to grow up. Big time.

[RationalLioness]

You are annoyingly ignorant and seemingly incapable of basic comprehension (of what I'm saying). If a RANDOM stranger approaches a female, many women would NOT mind if that random stranger is attractive. This includes nerdy young guys. Are we on the same page still?

Some women WOULD mind some strange guy no matter his attraction to her talking to her. But MORE women would be annoyed by some random unattractive guy striking up a random conversation with her especially if she's not in the mood. No one said anything about flirting--and I'm trying really hard not to call you names because you're coming off as stupid to me. What I said was that your Take is WRONG because many women wouldn't mind talking to an attractive stranger versus an unattractive one in friendly conversations.

Sometimes it's annoying to be hit on by unattractive guys or talked to by guys that you have ZERO interest in--this includes friendly conversation. Stop being retarded.

[ManuelMarquez]

@RationalLioness what planet are you living on that you don't realize that most women under 25 don't like to have friendly conversations with guys that look like nerds. Also it is a no brainer most women wouldn't mind have a friendly conversation with a good looking guy. I said women don't want to have a friendly conversation with a good looking guy. I said nerdy looking guys. Also anyone that doesn't want to have a friendly conversation with someone just because the way the other person looks is immature. Regardless if the friendly conversation is in a classroom, work, or anywhere else. I am not attracted to women that are extremely overweight but I don't mind being social with them. Dating, firting, etc. is different though.

[RationalLioness]

Okay. I've now concluded that you're a retard based off of your biased statement (as shown on the very first sentence of your last comment). So I will now treat you like I treat other fools.

What you seem to be too stupid to understand that your statement was biased, retard. How do you know that most women under 25 don't want to associate in simple conversations with the stereotypical nerd? Because it's been your experience? That's bias, retard. That's not fact. The only fact is that it's been in YOUR experience, but you would have to very fucking stupid to extrapolate your small reality onto billions of other peoples... and assume it's all the same.

[RationalLioness]

"Also it is a no brainer most women wouldn't mind have a friendly conversation with a good looking guy. "

Okay, dumbass. Then you should acknowledge the fact that there are GOOD LOOKING NERDS. That was the POINT that I was getting at. Not every "nerd" looks the same or has stereotypical traits. Many women will definitely speak to a "nerd" if he's attractive, if she's one herself, because she wants to, or because she's simply nice. To assume that the majority of women under a certain age won't talk to these guys is fucktardery with no basis on reality. You're not thinking... what's new?

[RationalLioness]

"Also anyone that doesn't want to have a friendly conversation with someone just because the way the other person looks is immature."

You are really dense. Do you know how many guys on here have said that they have no interest in pursuing a true friendship with a woman? A LOT. What they do is strike up a "friendly conversation" in order to get her number. They're not doing it to pursue a friendship.

A lot of women know this and assume that a random guy simply talking to her is trying to get her number or ask her out. That's how a lot of scenarios are set up. How does she know that the guy simply wants to talk to her? She doesn't. What she DOES know is that a lot of guys will start randomly talking to her to show their interest and then ask for her number. So a lot of women try to stop talking to them as soon as possible just in case if this does happen if she feels it's heading that way.

You come off as pathetic with juvenile irrational views. THAT is NOT what a lot of women want.

[ManuelMarquez]

@RationalLioness first of all not all guys are the same. A lot of guys on this site are idiots. Most guys who say they would only talk to a woman if they are interested in here more than a friend are the immature guys. Not all guys are alike. Also, you must have not seen my other posts when I said I know MANY OTHER NERDY looking guys that are average or below average looking that experienced the same thing. My best friend who is not even nerdy looking has seen this stuff happen in front of his eyes too. He thinks it is dumb. Many other nerdy looking guys and I have had friendly convos with women like around 25 and older and most of them don't mind having friendly convos WITH ANYBODY and most don't assume that we are just talking to them because we want something more than friendship. I don't females should be called women when they turn 18 since most still act like girls.

[ManuelMarquez]

@RationalLioness there you go. In my last response to you 19 hours ago, I talked about different kinds of things, including that I was talking about many other average and below average looking nerdy looking guys that I have known that experienced the same thing and how my best friend who doesn't look like a nerd at all seen this happen in front of him. He thinks it is fucked up. If you didn't read my last response, read it.

[ManuelMarquez]

@RationalLioness truth hurts in my two responses to you. I love how mature most women 25 and over are and I love how most don't act like little girls unlike most of their counterparts under 25.

[Anonymous]

... I feel your pain... I still remember my first crush hating me just because I was weird, and going out with "cool" guys who got high and had chains or whatever...

[ManuelMarquez]

Wow, sorry about that. It is ridiculous how most don't even want to have friendly convos with certain guys just because of the way they look.

[Opinion Owner]

Nah, don't be. Turned out she wasn't the best girl to have a crush on. She had a new boyfriend about every month.

Yep... Lonely and sad was somehow translated to emotionally and mentally unstable, or smart and somewhat dressed up turned into "Ew, he's weird". It's insanity.

[ManuelMarquez]

Yeah I get you man.

[Bluemax]

Her going out with someone else is probably a separate issue from her disliking you.

What makes you think she hated you?

[SunshineAmy]

Buddy, I feel like you've had some bad experiences and are just bitter. These sorts of things can happen to anyone, male woman nerd jock.

[ManuelMarquez]

@SunshineAmy no if things only happen to me I don't generalize. What I listed happened to me and most other guys that I have known that looked like me. It is the sad truth. And it happened a lot to us and not just a little bit, and these things can happen to anyone but it happens more to certain people.

[ManuelMarquez]

@SunshineAmy I know the truth in my last response to you hurts you.

[SunshineAmy]

Um, hope wasn't hurt, just happened to get off my computer. I don't live on here. There nothing in your response that could even possibly be hurtful to me.

If you feel this way, along with others, then that's unfortunate for you and I really do sympathise but just because you've had some bad experiences don't paint all women with the same brush and suggest were too immature or stuck up to be socially involved with you. No women owes you her conversation. Not everyone's going to want to speak with you, and that's fine.

And finally, let's be real. It's not the 'nerd' hobbies like world of Warcraft or cosplay that puts girls off. There are plenty of girls who enjoy all of these things and even if they don't, they're polite. It's also not how you dress, as you want to claim. It's the creepy vibe and awkward conversation that puts people off. Men who complain and jump to the conclusion of 'Its because I'm a nerrddd' need to take a harder look at themselves and their actions.

[ManuelMarquez]

@SunshineAmy I never said all women are this way. Just MOST women under 25 years old. Most that are 25 years old and older can give a dam what a person looks like when having friendly conversations. It seems you didn't read what I said, I said me AND MANY other guys that look like have experienced this stuff. My best friend who doesn't even look like a nerd has seen this happen in front of him to other guys and he is disgusted. And it is some bad experiences, it is MANY. Also, it is immature to not want to have a friendly conversation with someone just cause of the way they look, but MOST women under 25 years old are immature, so what's new. Also, nobody has to have a friendly conversation with someone they don't want to, but it is descent if they are ok with someone REGARDLESS how they look like has a friendly conversation with them. That is mature and show descency. And it is being nice too. Also, I bet you wouldn't agree if someone told you.''Nobody owes you his or her conversation.'', etc.

[ManuelMarquez]

@SunshineAmy also, me and many other guys that look like me have not talked about nerdy things, first of all I am not even a nerd, just look like one. We talked about things many people talk about, and we didn't approach awkardly, etc. We approached fine, and yet most women are annoyed just because of the way we look. My best friend who doesn't look like a nerd at all and who is really social, has told me''I agree man, I have seen many guys that look like nerds approach women fine, and talk about things that were interesting and yet you can tell most of the chicks were annoyed, that is messed up how the women are man, I have decided to do a test , and approach these same chicks and talk about the same things the nerdy looking guys were talking about, and guess what?'' They had no problem with conversation with me.'' ''It is messed up, how they weren't ok with conversating with the other guys.''

[ManuelMarquez]

@SunshineAmy there you go I explained everything in my last two responses two you, make sure you read and respond when you have a chance and like I said before I bet you wouldn't say to other people about yourself''nobody owes me a conversation.''

[ManuelMarquez]

@SunshineAmy that is what I thought. You think only the nerdy looking guys don't deserve a conversation but you do. Typical chick your age. My best friend who is not even nerdy looking think women like you are an embarassment to most other women your age. Him, other guys I know, and I love how most women 25 and over are nice and don't act like little girls like most of their counterparts under 25. My best friend, the other guys I know, and I are friendly with people regardless how they look like. We are preety mature for our age in that area. Learn something. Have a nice life and hopefully you have a change of heart later on.

[SunshineAmy]

God lord. You are acting like a small child. This is just the internet. I haven't responded to you, I've been busy with my life in the real world.
No woman owes you her conversation, just as no one owes me theirs. That's the bottom line. No one owes anyone anything. Wake up to reality and have respect for other people. Just because someone chooses not to speak to YOU doesn't make them immature or an embarrassment. Maybe they're busy, maybe they're simply not interested in talking to anyone, or maybe they just don't want to speak you with and that's just fine. To be honest, if you act any way in public as you do on here, I wouldn't want to speak with you either. It is your attitude, not your looks. I'm not wasting my time with you anymore, so don't keep notifying me with your ridiculous responses.

[ManuelMarquez]

@SunshineAmy my attitude is fine, idiot. You know I am right. What you would say would make sense if I was only talking about me, but I am also talking about all TONS of other guys I know, that are really social but yet wear glasses and dress nerdy and have dealt with this. Are you saying they are lying too? Are you also saying, my best friend who doesn't look like a nerd who has witnessed is lying too? Many of the other guys I know have good attitudes and so do I. We are great people. We even heard some of those women talk smack about us to their friends''I am tired of a guy who looks like a nerd talking to us.''It is cause we look. And you know it but the truth hurts you. If I was a girl I would be ashamed of my gender acting this way around my age too. My best friend who doesn't look like a nerd talked to women who were annoyed with the nerdy looking guys, and have the same good attitude the nerdy looking guys had and guess what? These women were ok with talking to him. Olderwomen are goodhumans

[ManuelMarquez]

@SunshineAmy, I can understand is someone having a bad day or the person that is talking to them doesn't have a good attitude and because of that they don't want to talk to them but what if the other person approached fine. has a good attitude, and the person they are trying to conversate with is not having a bad day, and is ok with talking with people, but just not people like that person because they person looks like a nerd, or because they think the person is ugly or really fat? One last question, if someone didn't want to talk to you because they thought you were ugly,(I don't know if you are attractive, but if you are, not every single person would agree) and that is the reason they felt annoyed you talking to them, because they think you are ugly and this person is a man or woman that is being this way towards you. This my last question to you and that's it, I just want to know if you think that woman or man is a bitch or asshole for not talking to you for that reason?

[krissgib]

Yes Ur right it can happen to anyone but it doesn't the majority of the time. But in my experience I didn't see that. I was dating someone in high school. He was no where close to being a nerd. But looked like one and dressed like one. I didn't have a problem with him. We dated two years, the whole time everyone made fun of him. Said they'd never date him, only cause of looks. Thought him weird! They wouldn't have anything to do with him, not even as friends. After the 2 years, we broke up. By then he changed his looks, no more nerdiness. They flocked all over him, only cause they like what they saw. I was hurt, I loved him dearly. Still do, he was my first love.
Same thing went with the other kids in school that looked like a nerd but wasn't one. I was friends with them but the majority of the school, wouldn't have anything to do with them. Which is sad cause they were pretty cool. I'm glad Ur not like that. It plainly shouldn't happen to anyone either Ur a nerd or not, or a jock.

[krissgib]

I plainly see that a lot of popular girls or guys from high school, like dancers, cheerleaders, football players, etc . Still even in there late 20s and early 30s, treat nerdy looking people like crap cause they think there better then them. I disagree on it but whatever I'll ignore them even if they ask for my number or something. I can't stuck up people.

[Anonymous]

nerds need to hit the gym and take those stupid glasses off. They need to stop playing video games, reading comics, watching porn and all other wasteful activities.

[Prof_Don]

Watching porn is wasteful? #CmonMan :-P

[Opinion Owner]

it's also bad for health

[ManuelMarquez]

What does this have to do with anything what I said. You are clearly immature by what you just said. Grow up man

[Opinion Owner]

Oh please, spare me that liberal crap. Nerds need to stop being nerds, end of.

[ManuelMarquez]

What does liberal crap have to do with friendly conversations?

[Opinion Owner]

you're a friendly conversation

[ManuelMarquez]

Grow up.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm just going to leave you to your miserable self now

[ManuelMarquez]

I never said I was miserable idiot.

[Opinion Owner]

You have issues.

[ManuelMarquez]

You have issues,(stupid glasses off) dang man you are a bully

[Opinion Owner]

You're in no position to tell me to grow up, since you're the one who is improperly groomed and thus look like a nerd. Nerds are famous for being manchildren or perpetual adolescents.

So there. Stop being a bastard to other people.

[ManuelMarquez]

I never said I was a nerd. I just said I look like one and dress like one. Dude, what's next? You telling overweight chicks to lose weight, in order for guys to be nice to them? Idiot.

[Opinion Owner]

I said nerds need to stop being the POS that they are and you're not properly groomed so girls naturally assume you're a POS. Also, you weaseled your way out of explaining the grow up part, so I'm just going to assume you were being a slimeball for the heck of it.

[ManuelMarquez]

Most nerds or guys that look like nerds but aren't nerds are nice guys also, I wasn't being serious at the last part. I was being sarcastic, because you are probably one of the those guys that would say something messed up like that about overweight women too.

[thatkaruguy]

so basically do everything eeveryone else does good or bad. ok sheep.

[ManuelMarquez]

@thatkaruguy are you talking to me or anonymous?

[thatkaruguy]

mr anon

[ManuelMarquez]

@thatkaruguy I feel sorry for anonymous.

[Bluemax]

@Asker
Why are you wasting time with this argument?

[ManuelMarquez]

@Bluemax yeah you are right, I should have stopped talking to this douche sooner

[doireallyneedone]

What about the nerdy girls?

[ManuelMarquez]

@doireallyneedone they experience the same nonsense but from guys that are under 25. Most people under 25 are immature idiots.

[doireallyneedone]

So the nerdy guys should talk to the nerdy girls then ;)

[ManuelMarquez]

@doireallyneedone they do, but the point is, it is really immature for guys or chicks to be this way when it comes to friendly convos, don't you think?

[doireallyneedone]

It is,, but like tends to hang out with like. You see it in high school and college with your various cliques and what not. As you get older, people generally become more sociable, but these groups still exist. Like still prefers to hang out with like - that's logical isn't it? That's the way it is.

[ManuelMarquez]

@doireallyneedone I never said to hang out, I said friendly conversation. Looks or whatever doesn't matter when it comes to friendly conversation. That is as stupid as a guy not wanting to have a friendly convo with a girl in a college classroom just because he is not attracted to fat girls, when the girl being fat has nothing to do with simple chit chat.

[doireallyneedone]

Yeah that's how it seems on paper. But when people converse there is much more going on. Why are people generally much more willing to talk to the popular kids and not the losers? Because it's not just simple chit chat alone. People want to be friends and align themselves and other people of 'value' and therefore will put much more effort into conversation with someone of such value. That's just human nature and I know how it feels, I've been there.

[ManuelMarquez]

@doireallyneedone don't you agree with me though? And not everyone is the same. There are people that love to talk to people in general and that is awesome.

[ManuelMarquez]

@doireallyneedone?

[doireallyneedone]

What you offer would be an ideal utopian society where we all get along, non-judgementally and treated absolutely equally. That would be great except its not reality as I'm sure you are aware. People innately or based upon their own achievements have different 'value' so to speak. Because of that, people will not treat each other, or as you put it, even want to have a 'chit chat' in the same manner.

[ManuelMarquez]

@doireallyneedone society is messed up then. Also most women 25 and over don't give a you know what how someone looks like when it comes to friendly convos. Most of the time it is the women under 25 that are like this. Most women 25 and over are mature and don't act like little girls unlike their counterparts under 25 lol. Same thing goes for guys 28 and over. I said 28 and over and not 25 and over since guys take longer to mature. than women.

[doireallyneedone]

Women 25 and over are more mature and yes are more willing to be sociable with other people. Still, what I said above still applies regardless of age. Not every person commands the same respect from other people, and those who command more respect will always be taken more seriously, given more attention, spoken to more etc.

[ManuelMarquez]

@doireallyneedone command more respect? In what way?

[doireallyneedone]

I already answered that. As much as we would like to treat everyone the same, not every individual receives the same amount of the respect. Some individuals receive more respect because of innate qualities (good looks, natural charisma), or due to achievements, highly capable individuals, leaders, intelligence etc. These are all good attributes and in my opinion deserves respect from others. Whenever we meet someone new, we automatically make these judgements about them. How we interact with them, chit chat etc etc all ties into that. Its like if you met a doctor vs meeting a brick layer. Most people will not give them the same amount of respect, not saying they wouldn't respect the brick layer, but if the doctor were to offer his opinion, most people would value that more so than the bricklayer. That's a real life example, but this stuff happens everywhere from middle school, high school, college etc.

[ManuelMarquez]

@doireallyneedone I get you, but what you said about you think deserves respect if they are good looking. That is dumb. Someone doesn't deserve respect just because they are good looking. What if they are an asshole or bitch?

[doireallyneedone]

Then they lose respect if they are an asshole or a bitch. Of course negative personality traits lose respect. Certain genetic traits do get respect, thats reality. Look at hot women, look how much society admires them. Same with hot men. What about people who are naturally gifted at say football or singing, acting in many ways thats a natural gift too. They will still command respect from everyday people.

[ManuelMarquez]

@doireallyneedone yeah I get you man. It is sad people are respected just cause of looks or just because they are a football player or whatever. If someone is respected cause they are a military person, etc. that is a different story.