Society & Politics

Depression And Suicide: Why is it so underrated and misunderstood?

Depression And Suicide: Why is it so underrated and misunderstood?



WARNING: Sensitive Subject


For many people, we go about our normal routines. We wake up, go to the bathroom, go eat, get dressed, go to work, go to lunch, come home, eat dinner, relax, go to bed, wake up and do it all over again. It seems like the world is spinning around. However, it is true for most. For the other half, they struggle even just to open their eyes the morning after a long night of tears, thoughts of why and how to end life, and sleeplessness.


People like myself who suffer from depression.... It is a constant struggle to complete even the smallest of tasks like waking up in the morning.


I want to give you a bit of my background.


My parents had never been married, but were together since my mom was 16. My mom conceived me at 17 and then graduated June '95 and that August, she turned 18 and that November I was born. I relished being an only child for three years. In 1999, my little brother was born. That was when the responsibilities came flooding in. My dad expected me to help with everything. I would clean up the stuff from floors, I would help change my brother, I would babysit him in rooms while my parents had to step out, etc. He was my best friend, but we would always ( I mean ALWAYS) fight.


When I turned 10 in November of '04, the next day, my baby sister was born. I thought I would get a break. Hahah, no. I changed my sister, cooked, cleaned, did my own laundry, vacuumed, etc. I was practically a 3rd parent in the house. My mom worked odd hours on her part time shifts at a coffee shop and my dad was working as a cable tech. I would often be left with my siblings at home. I looked at my sister like she is my own kid. We all weren't close as kids. But they are my lifeline now.


I began getting depressed and it began with my dad criticising me for being bisexual. I began cutting a week later.


I tried to ignore it as best as I could, until I came to a breaking point.


I was in a relationship that had red flags all over the place which I ignored (shame on me). One April, I became pregnant and was unaware. I was skinny and should have popped, but like on TV, I didn't know I was pregnant. Around four or five months later, I got into an altercation with my boyfriend after he came home strung out on meth. His friends tried to protect me, but I got elbowed and shoved down stairs.


Rushed to the ER, I was told I miscarried my little girl. That did me in. I laid awake crying at night for the heartache and the loss I endured. I would have loved that little angel like no other although I knew for the better I could do without her because I could not afford to raise her. (Glad God took her home to be safe)


But, I would cut every night and that made me so sick and anemic due to lots of blood loss. I began drinking heavily and got suspended from high school for ten days because I was drunk in school. Not smart, I know. But I tried to be happy and go out but all I saw was pregnant women. It depressed me even more.


Soon thereafter, I was placed in a psych ward. People were nice and I was transferred to an all ladies academy for rehab. I broke down the night of my fourteenth birthday and hung myself. I was unconscious for 30 minutes after they revived me. I was legally dead for 27 minutes. My neck didn't break so as you can imagine, asphyxiation.


I guess my point being is:


There is only so much people with depression and people dealing with suicide can go through before they are over the edge and end up successfully committing suicide. It is a constant uphill battle to get through depression.


As a survivor of suicide myself, I hope this reaches many people. I hope it teaches 3 lessons.


1: Always make sure you know the signs of depression if you think someone you know might be dealing with depression and get help right away.


2: Never put someone with depression down because you are just an ass and are adding unnecessary thoughts to their already overwhelmed mind and it can't just go away and they can't just get over it.


3: It is a lot to deal with and I understand so to those that are suffering, always know you have someone to talk to and people will miss you if you died. They do. I know.


I remember my mother hugging the crap out of me and crying when I woke up in the hospital with a nasal cannula and a weak body. Depression can kill people and it's serious. Don't let those you love deal with it alone. It will further the depression and eventually come out to suicide and that's very bad. Be there for them and try to get them through it and just even letting them talk or cry is a victory. Small, sure, but a victory nonetheless. For more, please call the Suicide Hotline for those you know or even yourself.


National Suicide Prevention Hotline Number: 1 (800) 273-8255


I hope this opened the eyes for many and those who are suffering, feel free to message me or comment what you think. Be strong x You are a warrior.

Depression And Suicide: Why is it so underrated and misunderstood?
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