An Anti-Ode To My State; A Few Reasons Why Massachusetts Sucks

Waffles731

I've seen a several people recently speaking their states praises. I envy them because to be quite honest I fucking hate Massachusetts.


1. The people:


There is no good way to put this. The people of Massachusetts are quite frequently utter assholes. There is a reason Masshole is a saying. But thats only the tip of the iceberg. See this


An Anti-Ode to my State; A few Reasons why Massachusetts sucks.
Do you know why that riot happened. It wasn't because police killed an innocent. It wasn't because something the state government did. It was actually a reaction to GOOD NEWS. That is the riot that happened immedietely after the Red Sox Won the 2004 world series. The End of the famed curse of the Bambino (The 'curse' that came about because they hadn't won a world series since they traded Babe Ruth (The Bambino) to the Yankees back in the early 20th century.) Yes, Their first world series win in 86 years and THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO FUCKING RIOT. They had to call in riot cops, An innocent bystander a journalism student DIED when after being hit in the head by a rubber bullet from crowd control. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Victoria_Snelgrove


I mean at least the Vancouver riots happened after they lost the stanely cup. THIS WAS A CELEBRATION RIOT. The People of Boston rioted IN CELEBRATION. Who the fuck does that.


2. The Ridiculous things banned for 'Safety'.


An Anti-Ode To My State; A Few Reasons Why Massachusetts Sucks

You see that. That is a home waterslide for a in-ground pool if you couldn't guess.


Let me tell you a tale of what happened to Waffles when they needed a new one.


So we go to look around for where to buy one as our water slide is broken. (Yeah, our house came with an inground pool and Already broken waterslide)


Now we find out this information, In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts it is illegal to install a new waterslide. You are allowed to fix your current one but you cannot put in a new one.


Yep, The State of Massachusetts BANNED POOL WATERSLIDES FOR 'SAFETY' Thats just majorly fucked up.


Now lets get to Fireworks; I've seen people cited for setting off fireworks ON THE FOURTH OF July. Fuck even the U.K has looser Firework Laws than Massachusetts and Guns are actually legal in the U.S.


So does that make any fucking sense and its not like this stops people. Fireworks are legal for sale and use in New Hampshire, You can literally hear New Hampshire firework store ads on Massachusetts radio stations, you know advertising them where they are literally illegal.


3. Their utter lack of respect for Edgar Allan Poe


An Anti-Ode To My State; A Few Reasons Why Massachusetts Sucks

So I want to write for a living and I'm pretty damn good. I like to write Fantasy, Horror, Mysteries and who was born in Massachusetts but one of if not the greatest gothic horror writer of all time. Edgar Allan Poe.


Now Poe during his lifetime heavily cricized the transcendentalist movement. The State of Massachusetts still favored literally sons and while most of Edgar Allan Poes best writing was done in Baltimore he was still a son of Boston.


ONE WHO GOT NO REAL RESPECT FROM THE CITY.


We have a State pond where Henry David Thoreaus cabin was but it took UNTIL 2014 for a Non-Profit to be ALLOWED to erect a statue Honoring the Insane Genius Edgar Allan Poe. These groups had to fight tooth and nail for that.


4. The Drivers:


Massachusetts Drivers treat the rules of the road like the Pirates in Pirates of The Caribbean treat the pirates code in that their


An Anti-Ode To My State; A Few Reasons Why Massachusetts Sucks

Yes, the people of Massachusetts quite frequently do not give a flying fuck about Traffic Laws.


Today I was in a crosswalk with the light saying cross and I car drove right through it about four feet in front of me. The thing is, I'M USED TO THAT. According to the Laws of Massachusetts, THATS A BIG NO NO. Its at the very least a ticket and could actually (rightly) result in Jail time. This car had plenty of to stop but they not only went through a red light but A CROSSWALK WITH A CROSSING PEDESTRIAN.


But I have to walk home from campus. As I don't yet have my license. (I really suck at driving but goddammit I'm learning and you know what. Having been fed up with this shit and nearly hit by a car several times. I will follow the goddamn rules of the road. when I get it.) So I have to deal with this shit more often than anyone should have too.



There are other reasons I might be able to think of but goddammit fucking goddammit, MASSACHUSETTS SUCKS.

An Anti-Ode To My State; A Few Reasons Why Massachusetts Sucks
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