Something that always seemed to separate me from those around my age is my belief that gender roles are essential parts of the dating world and of functioning relationships. The two genders are clearly biologically different both in body and in mind. It's an unavoidable fact of life. It's what allows men and women to act a bit like puzzle pieces in a relationship, with the man making up for the weaknesses of the woman and the woman doing the same for her man, depending on the situation.
But, being on this site has gotten the little gears in my head turning. Much as I believe in the inherent importance of gender roles, they seem a bit... restrictive.. don't you think? The term "toxic masculinity" has gotten a lot of traction these past years, and I can honestly wouldn't be surprised if a term called "toxic femininity" snuck up on us at some point in the near future.
There are many people who would claim that gender roles are too solid and stubborn, just as there are those who would say that gender roles are fine the way they are and to go against them, just a little bit, means the end of civilization. Both parties on this have good points. As someone who has watched this same argument unfold time and time again on G@G, I am certain that the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Many people clearly aren't happy with the system. They want to be rid of it, to feel free from it, but they also understand that, to get much of anywhere, they'll need to do SOMETHING.
I think just throwing the roles out the window claiming that they're purely societal is foolish. But, at the same time, having everyone follow a strict set of rules for their gender leaves very little room for self expression and diversity. After many days of pondering this, the answer is simple. We need to go back to our roots.
Okay, so what do I mean?
The way I see it, there are two kinds of gender roles:
1.) Those that are encoded in our very DNA that helped us survive as a species by attracting the opposite sex.
2.) Those that are forced on us by society through pressure and such.
Our societies have placed expectations on each of the two genders as civilization has evolved, which is good in some ways. BUT, societies have done this to such an extent that they have taken away much of the emphasis on what truly makes up the biological roles of each gender. This has left many people confused and frustrated that they have to follow such a crippling guideline on what they are when they don't even know why.
In short, societal pressure limits us far more than it helps us when it comes to gender roles because it tries to make every person of each gender uniform in character.
So, what do we do about this? We look back at the dawn of humanity and clean up the mess. Purify the water. By separating what really makes each of the genders, in mind and in body, from what society TELLS us what makes each of the genders, we can get to the heart of what little girls and boys are made of and flush out the rest of the bullshit.
Examples of unnecessary societal restrictions: Men.
Sleeping with multiple women
Yes, I'm going there.
Tossed around an awful lot here isn't it. Many Pinks say they only want experienced guys, guys here pressure other guys to stop looking for relationships and just "fuck her in the pussy." Bullshit, all of it.
Why? Well, think about it. Is a guy being able to sleep with multiple women a core aspect of a masculine man.... or is it simply a biproduct of being one? A guy doesn't need to sleep with multiple women to have a powerful masculine vibe. A masculine attitude can still be a masculine attitude regardless of how many women the guy stuck his cock into. If a guy is powerful and dominant in all aspects of his life, it doesn't matter how many women he fucked because it's something completely separate. Sure, powerful and dominant men get more sex than the more passive of us.. but it's not homogeneous. This means that all this pressure to lose your virginity early on is unnecessary and very forced.
Yes, yes, I know. Being able to fix cars proves that you're better able to provide for your woman and shows that you are both physically strong and able to handle responsibility. But can't that also apply to other parts of the house and property as well? I know that there's expectation on that too, but it mostly seems to be on cars. Not only that but we as men are pressured to be very into everything that is cars, not just fixing the mechanics of them.
Now, I don't think I'm telling you anything new here when I say this but... cars don't grow on trees. They're man-made. "But shelter structures have been around since the beginning of human society, and they're not man-made," you say to me. Yes, I say, but cars have only been a part of us for so many decades. To me, there's nothing really special about cars in particular that society would have to pressure guys to be so into them. Yes, part of being a man is taking responsibility for your belongings and being able to keep everything nice and safe for your women and children... but why cars specifically? Hmmmm......
Being against everything gay
Gay men especially, it seems. It's obvious, is it not, that men are pressured to attack anything homosexual off the basis of whoever they're going after being a "faggot" or a "dyke?" It's clear that more women than men support gay rights, and it's common that the most stereotypically manly of a group of guys is the most intolerant of gay people.
Attacking people, physically and verbally, just on the basis of sexuality has nothing to do with being a man. Sure, aggression is an essential part of masculinity... but only in healthy contexts. What we're seeing here is unprovoked aggression, which is NOT good. It's the core substance, but in a very twisted way.
Examples of unnecessary societal restrictions: Women.
Simple right? Men are more visual so women have to make more of an effort to look good, right? It's just the natural way, right? Well, not exactly.
It's true that men are more visual, but that's because a lot of the core elements of femininity like fertility and the capability to not die from childbirth can be easily determined by what we can SEE. But this....
Yeaaaaaa no. This is just too much. I'm not saying that there is no makeup out there that can make a woman look better, but the way societal pressure has made the demand for makeup styles and such to evolve over the years is starting to give birth to things that turn my dick into a deflated snake balloon.
Not only that, but makeup does only a little bit to make the woman look healthier to pass genes on, and absolutely NOTHING to make her body look better for carrying children.
Plus, I also happen to know that makeup was originally designed for us dudes. Which means that, throughout history, makeup did not have roots in just one gender, rendering this pressure on women pretty useless.
Now that I've probably stepped on the nerves of a sizable portion of women reading this, I figured now would be an excellent time to bring this into light. We all know the metaphor.. right?
If a key unlocks all locks, it's a master key. If a lock lets all the keys in, it's a shitty lock.
Where did this mentality come from? Jealousy. I'm by no means a male feminist, but I know the problems with my own gender when I see them.
The truth is that this shaming of sluts was put in place by men who believed that every man should have a chance to procreate because it's "fair" even if most women aren't attracted to most men. Okay, I can see the torches and pinch forks coming already. It's the truth. Social hypergamy is a thing that exists and it's natural. It's not a positive thing, it's not a negative thing, it just is.
And that's my point. Pressuring women to settle for guys they aren't even attracted to when they could be out having fun with the guys they actually like, isn't doing anybody any favors.
Plus it makes no sense from a biological standpoint. Woman CAN sleep around with whatever guys she wants, it's her right. It doesn't affect her femininity at all unless she does something irresponsible in the event that she gets knocked up.
This one won't take much explanation. Women are pressured to like the color pink by society alone. Nothing genetic or biologically advantageous about it. A woman can still be emotionally supporting, nurturing and able to have healthy children without liking this color.
So, what do we do about this?
You remember that analogy about cleaning out the water I made earlier? That's what we can do about this. By separating what is biologically the substance of our gender from what society tells us it is, we can increase diversity many times over. By getting to the root of what makes our gender important to our lives and the lives of others, we are able to push all the bs about what we should and should not like, what our hobbies should be etc. out of the picture. This will better allow each person in their own right to be unique from the other guys/girls while also not crossing any lines that would ruin their success with the opposite sex. We'll be able to take what defines our gender at the base level and incorporate it into the rest of our lives while leaving room to be our own people, freeing us from our chains and making us what it truly means to be...
Thanks a lot everyone!