Let's Be Real About Rape... (*warning*)

Rape, lots of people cringe at that word or get mad at the person using it so lightly. Well first lets straighten a few key facts. If you disagree feel free to leave.

Rape is not asked for.

It's not a joke.

it happens to both genders.

not all people get PTSD or mental problems because of it.

It's not a small problem.

It happens more then reported.

If a guy tells someone he's been raped how do people react? "liar" "that's not funny" "that only happens to girls" "oh really was it fun" not many people are supportive to the person. It's a real problem and it happens often but people are afraid to say anything.

"DON’T assume the person is lying about it. Telling someone you were raped to get attention or privilege is like showing people a handful of your own poop in order to get to the front of the bathroom line. The number of people who lie about being raped are statistically insignificant"

It's not just opposite gender who rape the person it can be same gender. Homosexual rape is a real thing.

Have you ever met a rape victim? Did they openly go "hey i was raped"? I doubt it. (Sorry I shouldn't say victim, I mean survivor.) Sexual assaults can be done to both genders, it doesn't matter the person, it could be the most popular guy/girl in school or the loner. It just happens, people do so much to stop it and so much to raise awareness but what does it get? It gets people saying "they asked for it" "they wanted it" "fakers" "who cares". Even if it doesn't effect you personally, don't you still care? Don't you care that out in the world someone is going through hell, what if it's your neighbor, that short girl in class, the cubi? How do you know that the one who gave birth to you wasn't sexually assaulted at some point? Don't you care about that?

I have a relative who was raped as a kid, he's not depressed, he's not alone, he doesn't have PTSD He's doing ok. Some people aren't that lucky. Some people can't look anyone in the eye, some people can't fall asleep peacefully.

This take is not to cause problems or to just point out a little fact. It's to tell you exactly how it is, whether or not you agree.

If you have any questions fell free to ask ill do my best to answer.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wish this was the popular opinion.

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    • I disagree with some of this, but it's the most reasonable post on rape I've seen in a while.

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What Guys Said 28

  • good take

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  • As long as people keep the definition of rape straight and don't polute the waters with there whiny ass fake bullshit we would not have this problem in the first place.

    The sad state of affairs is simply that we can no longer trust a rape victim to speak the truth since there are an increasing amount of girls who abuse this victim position to call rape because they regret something.

    Any rape victim who expressed dis consent i support, anyone who didn't i can't have much sympathy for. I know its harsh, but i think in such a situation anyone would express discontent one way or another either by struggling, asking or shouting someone to stop or by severe crying. While struggling and crying can be done in a functional relationship (BDSM) in the healthy situations a partner will have expressed consent prior to that or lets you know in the moment its ok to keep going.

    I hope that one day we find a good method to separate the fake from the good in a very accurate manner. That way we can finally go back to giving the genuine rape victims the fullest support, as they really deserve it. While giving the fake ones the same punishments they would otherwise have inflicted on others.

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  • Rape is a horrible deed. It should be taken very seriously.

    But it's being used as a political divide and conquer tactic between the sexes by communists (starting out as socialists)... you know, like proletarians and buzwagi only now the divides are intersectional and guised as feminist. Fake numbers like 1 in 5 get used and agendas pushed like don't question an accuser (listen and believe) that can destroy a man's life... and many women laugh at prison rape for men whilst having a resting bitch face for themselves... not to mention absolute silence about women's rights under Islamic rule.

    I think rape is wrong, and you never see anyone arguing that it's okay at all... yet, currently it's being used as a political tool in the victim olympics... Hilary lost, it must be the patriarchy narrative. No longer just a class war... now it's gender, race, sexuality, body weight, and on and on and on.

    Let's talk PTSD, I'm a veteran, I say rape is bad too, but nobody complains about the disposable heroes that fought and died for your rights... but there is a hashtag me too right?

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  • Most of rape allegations are Fake !!!
    The real ones, are the ones you never heard about it !!! They are the real rape victims.

    But I wouldn't say we live in a "rape Culture" !

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  • The interesting part for I in reading this is your opening ;line;

    'Rape, lots of people cringe at that word or get mad at the person using it so lightly.'

    They rightly should for it is the cruellest act of all. One that is the definition of wrong. Growing up, I was told very clearly that one can be forgiven for anything in life aside for two things;

    Being a NONCE or Rapist- with either gloves come off and backs are turned on you.

    The other point in you attaching 'cringe' to it is the fact that so many throw it around willy-nilly. Which diminishes the gravity of the act. As well as showing little respect to the real victims. You see it used in sentences in open speech like on Social Media;

    ' The batsman was raped by the pitching...' etc etc

    Just so wrong.

    On the topic of males being raped. It happens but only in extreme cases. Like it being rampant in prison settings. Females raping men? Once more extreme cases that are very unlikely. The frequent example used of the 300 pound lady hold a man at knifepoint or her resembling Chyna from WWE fame might be possible but extremely unlike. Fantasy versus real life. Also, it is hard to rape a guy without his penis being erect. A fact that is questionable if the male is in direct danger and the stress it represents. on this point you bring in sexual assault. An act that is very distinct from Rape. It is galling and unforgivable but it is NOT Rape. You mention the male relative who was 'raped' as a child. By this, I take you are referring to penetration in terms of 'sodomy' or are you referring to being tampered with?

    There is a major difference. I am a survivor of child abuse as a kid. It was 'abuse' not 'rape'

    You lose credibility by linking the two under the same umbrella.

    I am sure you will get salty in reading my reply as will others. I have worked in crisis counselling including rape victims. Meaning I have first-hand experience. I am not using this to pass judgment on your view. More pointing to the obvious skewed nature of it

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    • Thank you for sharing your opinion I may not agree but thank you.
      I said it the way i understand it being someon who has been assaulted before

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    • There are many, many things that someone can't be forgiven for.

    • @Kkaos those two are the worst of worst. but it is a tad foolhardy debating the relative merits of wrong

  • You've pretty much got it all right. Nothing in your take I would change. Yes, it can happen to anyone, female or male. Rape of a female is much more common but exact statistics are impossible to guess because most men will never admit to having been victimized this way. And yes, there are those who falsely cry rape but these are few and fare between, insignificant, as you say. They only seem more common because they are newsworthy and we tend to hear about every false rape charge whereas we only hear about the smallest percentage of actual rape charges. (Real rape isn't newsworthy. Go figure.) And no, not everyone who is raped suffers PTSD or other mental trauma. (Although I suspect those who claim not to suffer actually do, just not as visibly as some others.) Rape is real, rape is brutal, rape is evil. It has absolutely nothing to do with sex. It is all about power. The desire to exert a perverted power over another human. It is a sickness, a psychological cancer, a twisted need to control others through forced sexual assault.

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  • "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

    This goes both ways.

    I personally think they put too much efforts to worry about rape victims and believe all rape victims are very traumatized.

    It's like you are having a cold and they put you into quarantine and intensive care. Then you later somehow believe you are very very sick.

    Here is a real story about rape, kidnapping and human trafficking.

    China has been having it's one child policy for a while. Most old families would op for a boy and abort, donate or even outright killing the child if they got a girl.

    The results during the period is dramatic. They are looking at tens of million men without a wife. This out an extremely powerful stress in small villages with mostly young men and no young men to seek out young women elsewhere.

    This led to a very strong movement of kidnapping young women around the southern border of China. Vietnam, Laos, Thailand and Myanmar are on the list.

    The girls would be drugged and put into a house in the mountain in China and sold. Rough estimate at around $50 for each girl. The end price can be around $15,000 if they can put her into a city but that is rare.

    Most girls get sent to villages. Forced to marry, have kids and the family keep the kids. They would send the girls to work and take the money. As long as they keep the kids, some of the girls wouldn't be able to leave.

    Some would give up their motherly rights and try to escape back to their home country.

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  • "But if you ____ or if you ____. you're asking to be raped" is what cops, jury members , John Doe and Jane Roe think. Because long ago they heard it from dad.

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  • "The number of people who lie about being raped are statistically insignificant"

    100% incorrect. That statistic only counts those who admitted they were lying. The number of people who lie about being raped are not insignificant, and every accusation should be looked at with caution and suspicion, because the law requires them to be. Innocent until proven guilty. You can not outright believe the accuser without also outright believing the accused is guilty, and that is counter to law.

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    • Caution and suspicion aren't really the right words. You can't suspect them of lying. You would look at the claim with respect and be professional about it. Don't comment on it or make any assumption until the evidence is on the table.

  • Good MyTake with some nice insights.

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  • I see that the bulk of the male answers here reflects that rape culture is alive and thriving here in the US even moreso than a generation ago. To quote a certain presidential carrot: "Sad".

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    • Women make accusations all the time. they are told that it's a good idea to make a fake claim nowadays

  • rape is a female fantasy and out of 1000 allegations less than 1 is even real. the rest are pure fiction or a girl regrettting having sex with a guy. you how i know its fake? i can bench 250lbs and would still have trouble legit raping anyhow. that would require me to hold down/restrain a girls arms AND legs AND have sex at the same time. that is almost impossible to do.

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    • I knew a girl who's boyfriend's PARENTS were paying for her rent and she accused him of raping her at night when they were in bed. Absolutely awful.

      I was a witness and the southwest Los Angeles police department literally told me they get so many fake reports they don't take them seriously.

    • @Jayson101 yea its unreal. women have a lot to gain by accusing men of rape. the average person is an SJW who is too stupid to realize that actually raping someone is near impossible without weapons. 99.9999999999999999999% of the time. a girl has sex then just wants to get back at the guy later by crying rape

    • Yeah this girl is too young and naive. She tried to appeal to greater experience but she is only seventeen. They are being taught horrible things at universities. "Just Sex? The Cultural Scaffolding of Rape" by Nicola Gavey does not talk about rape. Every single account she gives in her book is of consensual sex, yet it's a book about 'rape'. And then she says that if these things were to happen to men it wouldn't matter.

  • "number of people who lie about being raped are statistically insignificant"
    That isn't true. LOTS of women lie about being raped because they would rather be a victim than be called a slut.

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    • in Canada, 1/10 rape accusations is FOUND to be a false allegation. So many aren't investigated, so at least half of those are probably actually real rapes and I've met many women who have been raped trust me it happens and to all the drunk sluts that call shit rape when it's not I'VE MET YOU WHORES AS WELL AND FUCK YOU, AND THE GIRLS WHO HAVE BEEN RAPED SHOULD HATE YOU MORE THAN I DO YOU LYING CUNT WHO RUINED THE LIFE OF AN INNOCENT BOY FUCK YOUUUU

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    • 6d

      I just said I wasn't falsely accused LOL read dude please, my friend as a joke said it and I made it clear to her how not funny it was and that it's not something to joke about, that is not the same as an actual false accusation when somebody attempts to ruin your life over such things. She was just being a feminist cunt, she did not legitimately accuse me of anything.

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      @Goochbreaker
      "a feminist cunt, she did not legitimately accuse"
      Exactly.

  • The majority of female rape claims are either: Pure fantasy, a deliberate lie to get revenge on some poor guy, regretted consensual sex, or some other excuse to avoid responsibility. The other 10% are reasonably legit.

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  • Women think rape is a joke , so don't blame men

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  • Stop lecturing us about rape. We know all of this and I don't care because I'm not part of the issue nor can I fix this problem.

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  • explain to me why its ok for women to fuck a drunk guy but not the other way round.

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  • People can joke about whatever they want. If enough people find it funny... then it is fine. Jokes are more often then not about a play on words... add in dark context can make things for a lot of people more funny. Grow up.

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  • Ok then, so why are the guys who have recently been added to the ever growing list of famous rapists old and fuck ugly for the most part? Its not rape if an attractive guy does it, its just being "DOMINANT"

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  • how you dress can encourage it

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    • still isn't acceptable-but girls should be cautious how they present themselves

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    • @acooke-13 not much reason to now after you admitted i was right

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What Girls Said 4

  • I disagree with a few things, but that's my personal view. All in all, a good take, especially the part you're stressing the existence of male rape victims.

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  • I was raped by a work colleague at 16, the only people who know still to this day is my bestfriend and my sister, who I only told recently. It is NOT about how you dress, what you say or how provocative you are RAPE IS RAPE AND IS NOT ALLOWED.

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  • good take

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  • I was raped by my ex husband. The morning after it happened I confronted him about it... he told me I was crazy. I didn’t tell anyone for years.

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