Society & Politics

How America Creates A Toxic Social Culture

And it honestly is the reason why I only have a very select few, close friends and I keep my circle small on purpose. Even on social media I have under a hundred followers, who the majority of which are people I already know and who know me. I don’t need thousands of people in my circle or to be my fan. For any reason. Unless I’m going to create some sort of online brand or business.

Having said that, in American culture you need to be the opposite. And if you’re not, something must be wrong with you, and it’s this kind of thinking that has created the polluted ideology we have about being social, being recognized, or having friendships.

We are obsessed with socializing

America is a very extroverted society. Which is both good and bad. It can be good if you’re outgoing and know how to talk and act in public, but becomes very bad when we don’t respect other people for being less open. Even I was once one of those people who despised introverts, but as I’ve grown over the years I have a little more understanding and appreciation for them.

How America Creates A Toxic Social Culture

Growing up I was socially nervous and somewhat introverted, but then later I became very extroverted. And now in my adult life I am an ambivert: I bring balance to the Force and can enjoy some social time and social situations, but at the end of the day I like to have my own personal time and space. I also don’t like to invite too many people into my space, and I’m a very good judge of character by watching, hearing what someone says, and how they behave with me versus others.

But the ironic thing about our obsession with socialization is that also our romance with technology has made people somewhat less social. Or at least has changed the way we socialize face to face. People nowadays even prefer texting over talking on the phone. I will definitely say that I have noticed people do not quite mingle with one another the same way they did 10 or 20 years ago. Which I think is partially due to the fact that we judge people for their personality and social status.

We love cliques and groups

When I talk about these things being an America problem, that is not to say that these things don’t go on in other countries - although I imagine it’s probably closely the same in the UK and Europe because they are big time followers of the U.S., but I don’t know what social culture is like in all countries and I’m not going to speak on that. I know what it is definitely like here in my own, and that’s what I can attest to. I can say for a fact that America loves cliques and groups. And always has. Our side vs. your side. Our country vs. yours. My group is cooler than the other. In everything: school, college, the workplace, neighborhoods, even families, you name it. And we are toxically obsessed with popularity, being seen, having tons of followers, and being loved, as we are also a society plagued with jealousy and envy, which produces bullying. Nothing is ever enough.

How America Creates A Toxic Social Culture

A lot of this is due to the public school system, like most of our social development and social problems, they are all rooted in our earliest stages of mingling with others in school. And is one one of the struggles I have with wanting kids. I wouldn’t want them growing up around a bunch of other bad eggs and learning to take on toxic, negative behaviors and habits that will also come back into my house.

The schools are where we learn the most to judge others for being different, to pick on people and make them feel bad about themselves, to form negative social views and boxes to put others in. And we carry that onward in life even in the workplace and other group situations. And we even create competition out of it, producing toxic social dynamics.

And don’t dare keep to yourself - you need to have friends, and the more the better. Even though people don’t understand that too many individuals in your life, your space, and your time can drain you and even change you if you don’t have enough of yourself to be a strong person. Which is part of our society’s problem already: too much time with groups, friends, or even technology, and not enough personal time to grow, develop, and learn about You and the world on your own.

You’re “weird” or have a disorder just because you’re different

If it’s one thing I really, really hate about American social culture is the way we judge just about everybody for being different or somewhat quirky, and leads us to want to ostracize them for it. If you do this, talk like that, act this way it makes you “weird” - which also chicks love to say the most about somebody but especially a guy. If you do something differently, don’t understand a particular thing, don’t catch on as quickly as others, aren’t much of a talker, or you do have a quirky way about you, you get judged as being “special,” “autistic,” having ADHD, Asperger’s, and any of these other long-list developmental disorders we’re taught to recognize in public schools, and then carry that over into their other social groups and situations at work, and so forth.

How America Creates A Toxic Social Culture

The really sad part? The very people who think of others as being lesser or weird are usually the ones who are selective listeners and readers, or can’t read well at all, can’t find anything on a map, are not aware of bigger things beyond what they know on social media, “trap life,” or their own circles, and want people to do simple things for them like bag their groceries and read stuff off a box for them in a department store.

I will not lie: there are some occasions where I too will wonder if someone has a mental or developmental problem, but that is not my go-to diagnosis for why everybody is like the way they are. We all have a quirky way about us. We all have something weird in our DNA. We all have something that doesn't make us perfect in how we interact socially. Some of it is even because of past traumas that we know nothing about. But instead autism and ADHD is overdiagnosed as what many more people have than they really do, and then people pick that shit up in public schools and are taught to look at others through that lens in other areas of life.

People are afraid of being themselves because of social judgment

And it’s for a lot of these reasons that so many people are scared of being relaxed or being themselves in social groups. They’re afraid of someone thinking they’re weird or strange, and they’re also afraid that they’ll be ignored, won’t be heard when they speak, afraid of doing something that others will deem as stupid. And this can be a reason why people can seem awkward or “weird” in some social situations, because they can tell the others are already not receiving them well.

How America Creates A Toxic Social Culture

Our culture needs to do a little less talking and more listening, be more inclusive, and certainly care a lot less about social image. Our toxic social culture can almost be just as bad as living in a dysfunctional family. There is a lot we can learn from the people, groups, etc. that we deem as lesser or irrelevant. I know I do. Especially when I meet people from other nations, and who are often surprised that I know things about their country and they always tell me, “Americans don’t know this stuff. How do you know all that?” Maybe because I actually try to learn about others outside of my box.

You should try it.

How America Creates A Toxic Social Culture
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