My father taught me that a firm strong handshake is a handshake of confidence , and so I do that. My mother taught me that I have to be gentle with the girls and not to be rought with them like with guys. That is a long time ago.
Now , I wonder... when I shook a woman's hand should I have squeezed harder cos looking back... I shook her hand as if I'm a pianist.
Do we still have to treat them as procelain or can we treat them like guys and SQUEEEZE?
What do you guys do? Do you scale back the strength?
What do you girls expect?
Cos I think a good handshake is one that should hurt a little bit but not too much.
I WANT TO HEAR BONES BREAK! - men/women
Oh no, I'm a surgeon, my hands are precious - men
Please don't hurt me - women
SQUEEZE MY HAND AND SQUEEZE IT HARD! - women
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Handshake from the male perspective- Shaking a woman's hand?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Don't be worried, give me that firm handshake! No don't crush my bones, my hand should fit with yours comfortably. I learned growing up that for men, a good strong handshake with anyone shows respect and confidence. Also especially in a potential romantic interest, a strong handshake is very attractive. Usually, as a women shaking a man's hand my grip is the weaker one between the two of us. When I shake another woman's hand I try to have an equal firm grip. I don't know, do men read into how us girls shake hands as much or really dont care? Wow this can be really confusing when you get to thinking about it!
Just give a firm handshake. I really dislike it when guys limply shake my hand. Especially in a professional setting. It leaves a poor impression; I tend to associate it with a lack of confidence and/or respect. Also, I'm not made of glass lol.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Here's the trick, especially in a professional setting:
Stop thinking of her as a woman. Think of her as a shemale/transgender or as a lesbian or a man. Just anything other than as a woman. Don't imagine her as a human, she's a corporate drone. Don't imagine her as someone who could get pregnant (because she isn't a woman).
Then shake her hand nice and firm and treat her like you would a male professional.
I think the handshake with women should be less firm than with men, but not too loose either. A firm handshake with a women will show u r strong and manly, but also treat her gently and that will show ur gentle and caring side. I think a handshake tells a lot about someone so yeas be firm, but not too firm.
That's uh... difficult... like... if you're cooking steak... you know what a medium rare looks like but with handshakes... it's harder to gauge what does firm but less firm... means
Ummm... hard to describe, but its like a grip that will help her support her arm. And with guy it's like i wanna crush his hand, but i'm going easy on him. Lol. Actually this one guy in high school. He liked me cos we would always try to squeeze each others hands as hard as we could.
With a female, I just mirror their level of squeezing. With men, I give a firm handshake, but not so firm that it looks like I'm trying to be a tough guy.
You just don't shake a woman's hand as firmly as you shake a man's hand. That doesn't mean it has to be a limp noodle handshake, but it needs to be lighter than when you shake a guy's hand. There's nothing more gross than getting a limp noodle handshake from a guy.
men who squeeze my hand when shaking it PISS ME OFF! it hurts. I don't like it. it's unnecessary. and I don't appreciate it when they that it hurt me and they laugh.
I find if you're not shaking as hard as the other person is it starts to crush your hand and it hurts but if you shake just as hard , it makes a strong firm bond :O
"I think a good handshake is one that should hurt a little bit but not too much" - this isn't a good handshake in my opinion. It should never "hurt" whatsoever. There should be a grip, but no squeeze.
Well I just learned that from men in their 40s and 50s who give REALLY firm handshakes lol , the sort that you can feel the bones in your hand move about as their shake yours , the only way to stop that from happening is applying equally strong force yourself...
Weak handkerchief handshakes just... feels a bit weird. Especially with the younger crowd... it feels so flimsy.
Agreed, weak handshakes are terrible. Probably worse than a harder handshake, but nonetheless one where you are squeezing and creating discomfort isn't that great, at least not for women.
There was a time (this is the old etiquette) when shaking a woman's hand was done while the woman was sitting down, man standing up, and her palm was down. This was done to give the man the option to kiss the top of the hand, or else just cover her fingertips. These were always social handshakes. Now, women are business-people and follow the same handshake protocol which is to shake for a brief moment with a light grip. Don't kill her. Just take her hand and give a slight press of your fingers curled around her hand, then let her go. Feel how strong her own handshake is at the time, and you'll know if it's too hard or not.
Just right in the middle. A weak handshake isn't pleasant either. It's like you want to keep distant and are not really interested in things I say. A strong handshake isn't pleasant either, because I don't like to be hurt.
I always give super firm handshakes when I shake people's hands. Especially new people. Gotta make an impression, a firm handshake translates as being self assured. 👌🏻
Well whenever I extend my hand to a girl for a handshake, she'll usually just place her hand on top of mine... horizontally not vertically like it's supposed to be. It ends up in a weird motion where I would caress her hand and move up and down once.
I don't like to think like I'm touching dead fish, but my hands are weaker and more delicate than your average guy. Of course you should scale back. You don't want to hurt me, do you? :(
I always am gentle when I shake a woman's hand. I guess it's because most women have smaller more delicate hands and I don't want to hurt them by accident.
Ha, that could sound dirty It would be nice if the man would give a harder grip after I did, I guess that when you know, but I never understood why going softer was a thing. A good firm handshake is just the way to go, I've always been told it's an unsaid way of showing equality
From what I heard certain hand shakes mean different things like I remember one of them being if someone thinks they are better than you they will put their hand on top of yours and shake it like that.
Just have a firm handshake without applying to much pressure if your formally meeting a women for the first time. You don't need to squeeze her hands to show your confidence, there are other ways to show it.
But anyway it was way easier when I lived in Spain for a while. It was basically unwritten code that first time greats with women you give them the peck on the cheek as they do you and with men it was the firm handshake.
But since I'm back in the US, I give a "loosely firm" handshake. Straight wrist and normal motion, but I don't wrap my fingers around them like a boa constrictor lol
That makes sense. :) Personally, I'm cool with that. Just because a woman is capable of being given a firm handshake doesn't mean that you HAVE to give her that, ya know? :)
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