Why do women get so upset when men say that we don't want to be with a woman who sleeps around?

[Anonymous]

So often on here women ask "do guys like promiscuous women?", and inevitably the response is a resounding "no", at which point a bunch of women will get upset about it. I understand that it's not nice to have guys think you're unattractive but whether or not you are promiscuous is completely under your control...

Although they are a minority, there are some men who don't care - just go for those guys. There are countless things that women are attracted to - height, social status, money, etc. - aren't men allowed to have preferences too?

[btbc92]

This is why we need to set up boundaries with this. Allow me to make this very clear. As it is understandable as to why you would want to ask this question, I need to point this out. This kind of thing always bothers me. Even as a virgin, I'm just distraught with the crap on both ends, male and female, young and old, virgins and non virgins alike, single, involved or married. Divorcees too. Christians and non Christians or unbelievers as well. And it is getting pathetic.

All this time growing up well into preteen years, girls keep hearing that guys don't want to marry or date a virgin. You got to be sexual now, or you won't ever be good in bed when you marry, etc, etc. What all guys are in to and so forth. Then when a girl finally looses her virginity, has sex, she is either a slut, a whore or his personal one. Because when she learns sex for the first time, that is practically how he taught her. So how can all of that be on her fault? Last I checked, I taught thats what 'all guys' want?

Now lets step into the males side, shall we? We pretty much get the same feed back from the guy side. How girls want an experienced man in bed, how she wants a faithful and loyal guy or she'll cheat, etc. Right. At least that is the lie told amongst the other males. And if he doesn't, he's a wuss, not a man, you get the whole thing. Now he does just that, have sex for the first time, but its not enough. He needs to rack up more girls to have sex with, and if she's a virgin, even better? Yet the girls are complaining? Ah, ladies, if you are guilty of telling these guys that and you know you told that lie: your guilty.

Both sides are being idiots, end of story. It's either this or its that. And to be honest, it is really pathetic. Neither side acts like they know what they really want. Both sides lie to each other. You have those who truly loves, those want to know how to love, others who don't mind using people, people who don't care who gets hurt or dies, men and women with perverse thoughts and lustful attentions. But in the end every single one ends up in trouble. All I can say is this: If you truly want to only have a certain person who meets you standards, you have to uphold them to yourself as well. Period. You cannot expect somebody else to be what you want and desire but don't do the same. Now if you done this in the past, then all right then. That was in the past, but judging other people and your doing the same thing yourself makes you look like a hypocrite.

[BTeal]

I thought that maybe this upset from women comes about because of the whole double standard thing.

It is considered a 'good' thing among men to 'sleep around' yet if a woman does the same, it generally has negative connotations. Its not a recent thing, it's been regarded this way for centuries - even a few millennia.

But think about it - in order for men to be able to be praised for 'sleeping around', there have to be enough women in the world with a similar desire for it to be possible.

Some women may get upset, because they might be seen as undesirable to a guy who might have a best mate dude, that does the same in reverse and is not frowned upon.

I do believe that people can do what ever with their lives, however, I think that standards should apply to everyone, rather than half the population. If something is bad, it's bad for everyone; if something is okay, it's okay for everyone.

I personally would avoid all of this, by waiting for the right person in marriage, but I'm aware that that seems like an an old fashioned thing in today's society.

[genuinlysensitive]

Its because most women want a man who is "experienced", so guys who don't get a lot of women are left out.

[Cosmicreation]

It matters because a woman gets pregnant once every nine months, a man can spread his seed far and wide. If she is not selective it is reflected in her offspring. She needs to be selective, someone that lacks that capacity is obviously not someone with much forethought and surely not someone that could be relied up to make good decisions in raising children and operating a household.

They can’t even be selective on who they sleep with? Men can point that crap out and why should they go there?

Some women are extremely slutty and they are offering themselves up for the men to add notches in their belts and learn how to become masters; without them the women who are chaste would have nobody to teach their men what a woman wants in bed.

[genuinlysensitive]

You seem to think, incorrectly, that the only way to become experienced is through multiple casual partners. This is the worst way to get experience as the best sex requires communication between individuals. Not only that for both men and women, this behavior damages their ability to bond with future mates, also making it harder for truly great sex. Also, why so many sluts wind up cheating on their bfs and husbands.

[far2gud4u]

a woman who decides to be promiscuous gives up her right to certain things just as a woman who decides not to work or a woman who decides not to keep fit or to eat too many burgers... A sexual history is something of an attraction to a man so therefore u wanna be the ultimate woman you need to keep your knickers on and keep the attraction.

[AriadneSky]

in what way are you using the word 'right' , here?

[genuinlysensitive]

Because they want to be sluts. The media and feminism glorifies sleeping around so they see women on TV being sluts and want to act like them. The problem is THAT IS NOT REALITY. Men and women should be treated as equals, but that doesn't mean IDENTICAL!

For instance we men tend to realize that women who sleep around are impulsive, have little self control, and have a much easier time doing it than we do! So if a woman sleeps with 100 guys its way easier than a guy sleeping with 100 women.

For whatever reason women and females in general can't wrap their heads around this. They did studies and even in other animals such as mice females preferred males that had been around and had the scent of the most other females on them.

Then they wonder why the fuckboy they married is cheating on them and wonder why they "Can't find a nice guy."

Basically they are mad because

1. It is WAY easier for them to get laid and they know it, they want to do whats easy. (proving they have low self control)

2. The media glorifies it, so they think they want it.

3. They are taught that equality = whatever women want so anything they don't like they immediately accuse people of not being "equal" double standards etc.

[meatballs21]

Every woman is a magical perfect princess who will be mortally offended if you don't like something about her, because your inherent jerkiness prevents you from seeing her magical perfect princessitude.

This isn't limited to promiscuity - it could be because you don't find her hair, voice, body type, accent, personality, clothing, or any other quality of hers, attractive.

[Fearless_banana]

Lol insecurity. You're entitled to your preferences. A girl can't just suck 100 dicks and say okay yeah everyone has to accept me or else they are a slut shamer. Actually wrote a whole take on this.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a29147-slut-shaming-we-need-to-stop-abusing-that-term

[Vesuvius87]

The reason for that can be because most of the times it's not about them having standards and looking for a like-minded, non-promiscuous woman but rather an ''I want to sleep around but once I get older and settle down, she better be pure'' entitlement.

A girl that's a HS drop-out (or don't care about progressing in life herself) but only going after a wealthy, rich man while putting nothing to the table is pathetic as well too.

[devilish-cutie]

I only think it's funny to ask that if the guy is promiscuous himself and many are.

But there are guys that girls want for money, there are guys that are promiscueted but want a virgin - if they don't mind reasons behind that relationship that is entirely their freedom.

[Anonymous]

Its different because a lot of guys who dont want a promiscuous woman are promiscuous themselves! It is hypocrisy and a lot of us are tired of that. What if all women said "virgin guys only" from now on? All those men who have been "man whores" are done in the dating world lol.

[genuinlysensitive]

Yes that would happen. But they don't, they keep saying "we want experienced men". So if you don't like the current situation, tell these women to stop only going after "experienced" men aka fuckboys.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Just like how some guys can't handle it when women give their preferences. A lot of people want to know they are wanted by society despite their "flaws" or life choices.

[Yoush1992]

this is not a preference this is double standard.. why is it okay and oh so manly for a guy to sleep around but when a girl does it its wrong? isn't embracing your sexuality an equally important thing?

[Fearless_banana]

Simple. A girl can spread her legs and get such much easier. For a guy to get casual sex it's seen as impressive because you have to carry high status and or be very good looking. be a smooth talker.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a29147-slut-shaming-we-need-to-stop-abusing-that-term

[AriadneSky]

bull.

its easier for a guy to lift weights or stand peeing up but he's not shamed for being successful at it.

[Fearless_banana]

@AriadneSky Nope lol.

[Yoush1992]

@Fearless_banana lol thats ridiculous.

[Libraromantic]

Because men can sleep around and not get attached. Women sleep around, then get attached, then get bitter when the guys want nothing more than a fuck.

That is pure confusion and a lack of knowing yourself. Being slutty for the sake of aligning with some feminist mantra of equality is absolutely fine if you do my want a relationship.

[Sarahprincess]

Its just a double standard. It doesn't matter how many girls a man has slept with so why should it matter the other way around?
There is no logical reason for it.

[Asker]

Women like men who are strong... It's a double standard.

[Fearless_banana]

Yeah there is lol.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a29147-slut-shaming-we-need-to-stop-abusing-that-term

[genuinlysensitive]

Women like men who are tall, who are rich, who are "confident", who are experienced, who have social status, who are social butterflies and always say the right thing... double standards.

[Relentless_Hippie]

It's because those girls are filthy hoochie mommas with no self respect and they don't like to be told they're undesirable.

[nalaa]

I don't think most are. It's hypocrosy that bothers people. Like when a guy has been around himself and then demands to marry a virgin. And then probably won't even wait for marriage for her

[Luci92]

We're all allowed to have preferences, it's just when there's a double standard (like wanting a virgin partner but not being a virgin yourself) etc it creates a little bit of controversy.

[genuinlysensitive]

So short women wanting tall men would be a double standerd then, as she wants a tall man but she is not tall herself. Or maybe an introvert wanting an extrovert? Because apparently a double standard is having a preference but not being that yourself.

[Luci92]

@genuinlysensitive Obviously not with those examples, and there are plenty of other ones where it isn't necessary, but the main one I have an issue with is the virgin preference.

[genuinlysensitive]

So its just preferences you have a problem with personally? Or I guess just guys preferences.

[Luci92]

@genuinlysensitive no, I don't have a problem with preferences generally, only a specific few and I guess I only really have a problem with them with a few things people deem requirements.

[SaraRocks]

I think many men and women are hipocrit's!! I've been called a slut so many time's by guy's I've slept with its crazy. So they can run around with as many girl's as they want but Im not aloud to have sex with guy's I like? Forunatly some people dont judge & accept me but I sure wish Id met them earlier!!!

[Libraromantic]

Good god you can’t even construct a sentence using proper grammar.

It is wholly discouraging...

[PrettyBama]

I don't know why anyone cares what guys like 😂 And personally I think if you're a hoe nobody should know.

[AriadneSky]

i dont want guys who sleep around either -many many women dont- so no problem

[Rissyanne]

You should have your preference. Those hos... need to get over it.

[Anonymous]

Not all women gets upset about it, i understand why most men wouldn't want to be with a woman who sleeps around. Those that are mad probably just thinks that y'all sleep around too.

[lifeisbeautifulxoxo]

That's perfectly fine. I don't hate men who sleep around either. We have different values and we wouldn't be happy with each other anyway.
I'm in a happy relationship. I am my boyfriend's first.

[Sabretooth]

many girls are were not disciplined-not taught responsibility, and are impulsive. that's the kinda crap that happens when you treat your daughters as princesses.

[Scared_Banana]

lol @ all the girls saying its a double standard that men get to sleep around without being judged but they don't.

They are unaware.

[Scared_Banana]

but women don't*

[Anonymous]

No. People are free to act however they want and people are free to judge those people however they want.

[Chocofied]

Both gender can have unrealistic expectations

[Asker]

Expecting a woman to have not slept around isn't unreasonable I don't think.

[genuinlysensitive]

Its only unreasonable if men have the preference, women can have a list to the moon and that is perfectly fine, apparently.