Why is it expected of women to let themselves go after getting pregnant?

[Anonymous]

When other woman have shown that it is possible to stay thin, in shape and still have kids.

The vast majority seem to do this, use pregnancy as an excuse to pig out and never lose the baby weight. Also men just seem to expect that behavior of her being fat and losing her looks once she pops out the first kid.

[redeyemindtricks]

Ok, 4 things here. At least. Hear me out.

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1)
If you're asking this question, I hope YOU have the body of a Greek god, and are planning to keep yourself that way forever -- even if you work long hours, and/or have lots of stress in yr life, or whatever.
If not, then take yr little double standard, shove it up yr ass, pull it back out, put it in yr mouth and suck it.

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2)
Our hormones are VERY different after we give birth. You've heard of postpartum depression, right? That's... a thing. A thing that exists. And it's totally all-encompassing -- it's a phenomenon of the body AND the mind.

Like, okay. Take all the stressful shit you can imagine -- injuries, deaths of friends, financial trouble, getting fired, moving to another country, etc -- and imagine that ALL those things happen to you AT THE SAME TIME... and yet you still have to go on with yr life as normal... and you'll have *some* sense of the hormonal let-down that happens to many women after birth.

Really... You think I'm exaggerating... and I'm not.
Pregnancy stresses basically EVERY system in a woman's body to the max. ... Hormones
... Circulatory and cardiovascular systems (she's pumping blood for 2 people for the price of 1... or more, if she's got twins/triplets/etc)
... Energy and nutrition stores (remember she's hosting at least one 10-lb parasite in there)
... Bones and muscles (she's hauling around 30-40 lbs of extra weight WITHOUT extra muscle mass to compensate)
... Skin and internal muscle tone (when's the last time YOU took a 10-pound, 2-foot-long, 1-foot-wide shit?)
... Etc.
••ALL•• of these systems are stressed to the max during pregnancy... they're ALL on let-down after birth... AND we're still breastfeeding. And overworked and (unless we have a crazy amount of scheduling flexibility) sleep-deprived.

If we're breastfeeding, we also have 10x the usual concentrations of a hormone called prolactin, which further fucks with things like libido, motivation, and other such things for at least 6 more months.

So yeaaahhhhh

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3)
Have you SEEN post-pregnancy bellies?
... yeahhhh

In *most* mothers -- including almost ALL mothers older than, like, 25 -- pregnancy leads to a permanent slackening of the skin in that area. Ever seen someone who's lost like 200 pounds? How they often look even WORSE after losing that much weight, because their skin is just hanging there like an empty plastic bag?
Same thing, in the lower stomach area at least.
LOTS of mothers' bellies can look

[redeyemindtricks]

WORSE if they lose all their pre-baby weight -- because the skin will sag even MORE without some bodyfat to fill it out.
If that happens, it's impossible to fix without plastic surgery... so, lots of women who don't want plastic surgery will keep some of the post-baby weight BECAUSE THEY LOOK LESS BAD NAKED that way.

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And

4)

There's a certain personality type of woman who WILL get back into shape after giving birth (and will probably spare no expense in getting things like "mommy makeover" plastic surgery).

If this is the kind of woman you want, you should understand what she WILL be like... because, to overcome all of the above issues AND get back to a hot-and-sexy pre-pregnancy body, you need to be a pretty fucking special type of person.

Basically... this type of woman is going to be like me.
So, let me tell you about it.

She's going to be SUPER demanding. We're talking about a woman who sets basically unrealistic goals for herself -- and actually achieves them -- so she

[redeyemindtricks]

will have similarly high standards for EVERYONE ELSE in her life. Including YOU. If your A-game slips up, she'll either make yr life a living hell or just leave you.

She will NOT be particularly "maternal", or "comforting", or "understanding", or "oh bby that's ok come give me a hug", or..."nice".
She'll be a RESULTS person. Like the female equivalent of a boss who doesn't give a fuck about anything but shareholder returns.

She'll be VERY "type A". She'll be an aggressive go-getter, whether she's a career woman or not. She'll be INTENSE. She'll challenge you. She'll tire you out. She'll expect the same intensity in yr marital relationship that she has in the rest of her life.
She'll thrive on chaos, activity, and being BUSY and DOING stuff. "Relaxation" may as well be prison, as far as she's concerned.

She'll probably be... a bitch, pretty much.

If this is what you want, then, this is what you're signing up for. For the right kind of man, this kind of woman makes the fucking

[redeyemindtricks]

*world* go 'round. But... only for the right kind of man.

Yeah.

[peachblossomluck]

You're my heroine. I'm serious☆♡☆

[BaileyisDarcy]

And suddenly not looking forward to having kids ever XD

[Blitzkrieger]

@redeyemindtricks what does it take to be the right kind of man?

[Red_Arrow]

@BaileyisDarcy - lol. There is much of this, but the rewards are usually fabulous!!!

[redeyemindtricks]

@peachblossomluck Girl I'm just telling it the way it is.

__

@BaileyisDarcy Ever notice how many women have more than one kid? That's for a reason.

Yeah, pregnancy can hurt. A lot. In ways you didn't know you could hurt, in places you never knew existed.

Yeah, it can shred us from the inside. Yeah, it can blow us up, leave us swollen and screaming and crying, and then... deflate us, and *leave* us deflated. Literally, and emotionally.

It can... fuck us up.

But, there's the other side. The reason why so many women went ahead and had *more* kids, even when the first one ripped their insides (and outsides) to shreddy shreds.

Pregnancy is LIFE.
We can make new life inside our bodies. From fucking *scratch*. And that can give *us* a whole new life, too.

Pregnancy is LOVE.
This thing growing inside us is helpless, hungry, and stupid. It steals our energy, our nutrients, our hormones, our time, and our freedom, with 0 return on investment for years and years and years... and we WANT

[redeyemindtricks]

to give all those things. For reasons we'll never entirely understand, it's worth it. It's ALWAYS worth it, no matter how things turn out.

And if we're 50% lucky, and 50% did a good job of picking (and keeping) the right man... pregnancy is love from him, too.
Not just for his baby... but for us.
He'll run his hands along our stretch marks, where HIS baby beat the shit out of us from the inside, and fall in love all over again.
He'll look at our big asses, swollen bellies, and growing breasts, and he'll get hard as hell. He'll be... a motherfucker, in the most literal sense possible, over and over and over again.
We'll become even more beautiful than we were before, in his eyes. Because... because *love*.
(... psst lemme tell you about months 4-7, when you've got two or three times as much blood flowing around all those pink parts. You think you've gotten off before? Giiiirrlllll you just wait. C'mere motherfucker...)

I mean... our bodies are all going to hell someday, anyway. It's

[redeyemindtricks]

not like childless women will look like Barbie dolls until they're 70. They'll look just like every other 70-year-old. So, if THAT's the reason... Girl one day you just say fuck it, and go all in. That's what it's about.
(Plastic surgery is also surprisingly much cheaper than it *could* be, even from the best docs in the whole world.)

But... fuck, yeah, no. I got one of the men who looks at his wife right after delivery -- lying on a table full of blood and shit and tears and all sorts of other liquids with unpronounceable names -- and sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life.

I can't IMAGINE a man looking in the eyes of his wife -- the woman who ruined her body, and ruined *herself*, for HIM and HIS baby -- and asking a question like the one here. I just... fucking can't.
Yr woman's willing to destroy her body for you, you know what you do? You LOVE her. You fall in love with her, all over again. You find her beatiful, and sexy, and hot, because she's not

[redeyemindtricks]

just yr girl anymore, now she's yr WOMAN.
Woman.
In every damn sense of that word.

And if you've got nothing nice to say, you shut the fuck up, and keep yr stupid fucking thoughts to yrself.

You make her feel like a woman... and she'll make you feel like a man.
Motherfucker.

ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/.../...-11440-1419953739-20.gif

[Cosytoasty]

@redeyemindtricks Damn, that confidence is such an incredible turn-on.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Cosytoasty :*

[snowangle]

... I love you.

[redeyemindtricks]

@snowangle ahah <3

[mutedaisy]

Keep in mind most women still look 5 months pregnant after giving birth, because of how big the uterus is after giving birth. Working out messes with some women's output of breast milk. Our bodies need the fat we gain during our pregnancy to help produce milk. When we feed our infants it burns calories and helps shrink the uterus. Most women will naturally lose weight this weigh.

I just gave birth 2 months ago and have lost all 18 pounds of baby weight doing nothing, but breast feeding. I don't plan on attempting to re-sculpt abs any time soon, so that I have no problem feeding my baby.

[redeyemindtricks]

Actually, breastfeeding primarily depletes the "stubborn" fat stores that accumulate around the hips and thighs.

It pulls bodyfat off all over the place -- calories in/calories out, and that's a LOT of calories out! -- but, especially off the areas that are most vulnerable to collecting cellulite.

Women who DON'T breastfeed (and who don't pump or otherwise promote lactation) have to work like holy hell to burn off that stubborn fat.

[snowangle]

Every woman and child is different. Some require more care and attention than others. I have one friend whose baby weight came straight off within a month of birth, and another friend whose baby has health problems so she's put on weight out of stress. So it's insensitive to be like "well, if some women can do it, all women should do it!" You don't know everybody's circumstances.

Also just so you know, the bottom woman (with three kids) has since been reportedly depressed and has put on weight. So let's not judge. It can happen to anyone.

[Red_Arrow]

Actually, your first and third pictures show women that are pregnant and are still fantastically beautiful and toned.
I once saw a stripper, still dancing in her eighth month, who looked absolutely fabulous! She would have had very little work after birth to look fantastic if she did lose any of her looks in the last month.

[Negrodamuss]

If a woman expects her husband to maintain himself as he ages, women should do the same. Simple as that. I'm reading a lot of excuses by women here, but if you're okay with your guy not maintaining his weight then this doesn't apply to you

[Negrodamuss]

Thanks for mho!

[Anonymous]

Well most women can't afford the personal fitness coaches and the expensive diets or the sitters/nannies so that they can even exercise all like that or they they even have the time between raising a baby and working and whatever else. If you have good genes (which I do) then it doesn't matter you can kind of do what you want and still look good but if you don't then things go down hill. If a guy isn't going to be into a woman if she can't get her body back after having HIS child then he really shouldn't be getting anyone pregnant. Vasectomies are quick and easy. But to each their own. I had 2 kids and was lucky enough to have good genes, honestly I just lucked out. I eat the same and exercise the same as some of my other friends who happened to get a lot bigger thank God they were all with guys whop loved them so it really didn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Basically everybody is built different, it's not as easy for some. And it's definitely not as easy if you haven't got somebody to watch your kid while you're doing it all... those celebs do, plus all the extras you'd want while losing weight that many others can't have.
Then there's this thing called diastis recti or something, don't know the spelling, where it separates the stomach muscles so she'll always have overhang. There's a lot really. Can totally fuck up a body. You should actually look into it before judging women... or I feel desperately sorry for any wife you might one day get pregnant.
But, at least those women have an excuse. What excuse do these 30+ men have for their beer belly and shit? Sometimes even moobs. Just from food and beer, not something like a baby that they can't really do much about bar having an abortion or never getting pregnant.

[NyomiMcClinton]

Yeah its something that I have noticed also. With age and having a lot of kids, a lot of women tend to let themselves go. a lot of mothers become more focused on their families and on less looking like a beauty queen. I think all women should keep themselves up, it generally makes you feel good about yourself overall.

[Tarnygosh]

It's not that easy, can you go to the gym when you have a crying baby, and no sleep. What about when you return to work, rush home and cook and clean and look after a toddler. When do you go to the gym? Pregnancy changes the body and messes with priorities. First priority is raising a child and making them happy, then ensuring you can bring money in. Then maybe spending cash on a gym membership, a babysitter to go to the gym daily or weekly.

[Red_Arrow]

"a lot of mothers become more focused on their families and on less looking like a beauty queen." But you think they should care less about their family (including baby) and "should keep themselves up". Wonderful family values there.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

If you want to keep your man's interest and keep him at home, try to look good. It's unrealistic to expect a woman to get right back into shape 3 months after the baby, everyone's body is different, but she should at least make the effort to get back in shape. I think it's disrespectful to your man to get sloppy and fat and then expect him to deal with it and not look at other women. It's like saying you dont care about your man

[menina]

They don't let go themselves. They're under stressful situations, they need to take of their kids, they work and they might have to deal with a lot of issues all the same time.
It's hard to "go back" to their old bodies.
Plus, NOT all women are able to pay for a surgery, have a personal trainer and change their diet.
It's easier to do all of these stuff when you're filthy rich and are not dealing with stress.

[menina]

*take care

[BellePepper]

So you're looking at women's whose jobs are to look a specific way and are who are paid to be able to look that way and comparing them to women who aren't paid to look that way?

[Rissyanne]

When a man gives birth... he can complain about a woman and pregnancy.

[Jager66]

Because they are gross.

I've got no respect for someone who just let's them selves go because they had a baby. Weight gain from pregnancy is normal and it takes time to heal and recover, that's not what I'm talking about.

[Tarnygosh]

Ok if maybe pregnancy is a smal excuse, why is there a single man who is obese or even fat if they gain muscle easier and need more calories?

[Jager66]

@Tarnygosh It's no better... Are really sensitive or something because you let yourself go and got super fat? Guess I don't get the point of your comment is all?

[Tarnygosh]

It's just hard being a woman where you are pressured to have a kid or else you're selfish. And then when you have a kid which messes up with your figure you are expected to fix it and stay slim all the time. I am slim because it's easy for me, I don't overeat. But I can see myself gaining weight if I become pregnant and my hormones change. It's just that I can't win.

[Anonymous]

Why do some men get fat as hell from about 30 on? Staying in shape gets harder as you get older. Get into fitness and have kids a woman who also is.

[mutedaisy]

A lot of men also gain weight when their wives are pregnant. Lol it's not strange for them to put on 20 pounds.

[Opinion Owner]

Staying fit is really a whole family activity.

[BaileyisDarcy]

Go read @redeyemindtricks comment.
she's pretty much hit the nail on the head. There is no way i could possibly add to that.

[redeyemindtricks]

Thank you. <3

[jacquesvol]

They're supposed to "eat for two" during pregnancy and breast feeding. And once the habit is taken it may stay.

[Goldilocks24]

I think it's great when women stay fit during and after pregnancy. If he can't accept it, well tough cookies.

[Blitzkrieger]

Most of the female opinions section is all paphetic defeatist excuse making.

[RationalMale]

Hmm. Some women don't have the discipline to eat healthy and exercise ever. Some think they don't have to after marriage. It's unfortunate but it's life. Marry a woman who values being healthy and taking pride in her body.

[Mesonfielde]

They aren't "expected", it just happens because they don't sleep enough

[WhaChaChaKing]

You're not having the kid and you don't know how hard it is to keep in shape during and after so judging women for gaining weight isn't fair.

[Anonymous]

Because women are afraid men will cheat if she take pounds.

[MargaritaPeach]

You've shown us their abs... now lets see yours.

[bruce3]

becaus -of society