Once a woman is in a relationship why do some women let themselves go?

They don't take as much with their appearance? They stop being as charming... Do the men even care? Does it make them less attractive? Has this ever happened to you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • because you can be comfortable with each other..dont let your self go but you don't have to always try to impress them...like sometimes its OK to relax..and that's how it should be

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What Guys Said 8

  • I got into a relationship a few years ago where she and I let ourselves get out of shape a little. Yes, some of this was about getting comfortable with each other. But I also lost my job in 2008 and it became a strained relationship all the time from the on. We were sharing costs in a flat and I was full on looking for work but she became angry at the situation. I used to be in great shape but gained 25 pounds during this period because it was very stressful. Long story short I got out of that and went back to the gym and I've lost 15 lbs of it and still working at it. Found a new girlfriend also.

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  • The reason men and women try so hard to look good when dating is because they are trying to find that special person. Once they do, they don't feel the need to look there best all the time. Same for a guy, we won't shave a much or wear what you think looks best, we did that when we were trying to find you. Same for woman, once in a relationship, you have already found what you want and there is no need to look your best all the time. Because being a guy or girl once you found that special one, looks tend to not be as important as when you were dating. Now you just want to relax and enjoy what you both worked so hard to get.

    -L

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    • Sadly that's the case, ain't it? The word 'special' in 'special someone' seem to be all but forgotten. People revert back to their true self when they have found their so called special someone. Disfiguring themselves by getting fat is one way.

    • Yeah humans tend to not be there true self when they are just dating and they seem to try a little bit harder. But look at it this way when we do let our looks go and we don't act the way we did when we started dating it means that you are now comfortable enough to be your true self in front of this person. It shouldn't be viewed as being lazy, look at it as your both comfortable to be your self's and not be worried how the other thinks cause they already know they care about you for who you are

    • Most of what goes on during the courting/dating phases are just a glorified sales pitch. You can't really gauge whether or not they're truly compatible until you're living together.

  • I have seen many of these cases.

    You are supposed to love your partner for who they are personally no matter what, right? Not just for the sake of some shallow vanity, right? Even though your partner has balloon up to a 600 pound beast with asses on both the rear AND the front of their body and has more chin than a Chinese phone book, you should love him/her just the same! Anyone dare to think otherwise is a scumbag who deserve to die a horrifying death instantly.

    That's the theory!

    Have you seen the movie, "As Good As It Gets", starred Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt? The famous cheesy line delivered by Jack was, "...you made me want to be a better man!" Well, I tell you a story: I used to be a 280 pound ball of grease. One day, I fell in love. Then, one morning I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "She ain't gonna get that!" So, I got rid the excess weight and worked out hard at the gym so that I can outlive her. That way, I would be able to hold her in my arm the moment she pushes her last breath and I would embrace her, say goodbye and weep.

    Yes, true love makes you want to be the best human being you can be the love of your life and that's the only way the above theory will make sense. Otherwise, it would be some sort of sick, selfish, irresponsible mental blackmail and nothing more.

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  • Some people get in shape/healthy etc. in order to attract a mate and some feel that once they've 'acquired' the mate they can let themselves go because they're not on the prowl anymore. I take care of myself regardless because I do it for ME, not for others. And if someone doesn't respect themselves enough to take care of themselves once we're together, I'm going to leave them

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  • Because once you got it you ain't gonna loose it. Of the who point of staying shape was to get the man, there's no point of staying in shape now is there?

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  • Cuz they figure im married fuck it. Who I gotta look good for now. Bring on the ice cream bitches!

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  • cause stone cold said so

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  • You know, I had a girl ask me something similar to this before. Except the role was reverse. She asked my why would a guy let himself go when he has a girlfriend compared to when he's single. She figured he would do anything he can to maintain looking as attractive as possible to his woman. I told her it is most likely the other way around. When a guy is single, he needs to work his best to try and score a girl base off of looks. Of course personality, but looks is what draws people in. But once he has a girl, he doesn't feel that he should have to make sure he looks his best every single day because what's the point of that. Who is he trying to impress? Obviously he shouldn't look like a slob or something of that caliber, but he has a girl so there is no point in trying to look his best day in and day out. Use that same concept for girls. Why should a girl look her best every single day if she has a man? The guy might think she is trying to look attractive for another guy, and her man starts getting thoughts of her possibly cheating on him.

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What Girls Said 10

  • I won't ever let myself go,and I will always be charming.However, he's got know there are going to be some makeup less days and I'm breakibg out the sweat pants and track sneakers. That's how I roll. :)

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  • I've been in a relationship since before summer vacay and I still try to impress him and I flirt with him, but he's seen me without makeup and still says that I'm beautiful no matter what and I don't need to wear makeup (I don't wear a lot). I still want to because I want to be the best person I can for my man, from looks to personality, but he thinks that I'm perfect with or without trying to impress. And that's love :)

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  • I supose they do have to try and get their man to like them anymore as they know he already does so there is no need to show boat.

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    • do we really take care of ourselves to find a man. because I know when I don't feel good about how I look it tends to show and I take it out on others. So I want to look, maybe not model like, decent so that I can be happy with me.

  • It's being to comfortable and the effort to try is out the window...eventually the spark dies. Not a good thing.

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  • it gets worse when she gets married and has children

    Its my personal goal in life to never lose myself, my appearance or anything. :)

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  • Taking care of yourself takes a lot of work, some people get lazy I guess...

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  • Hmm. Personal experience: My ex let himself go and quit working out. I felt no need to impress him. Put on like 15 pounds, decided that was gross. Lost it. Broke it off and now I'm on the prowl. Ha. Just playing but I don't think either person should let themselves go. The other one cares. How they deal with it varies but its never a good situation.

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  • because they get too comfortable. some women only keep themselves up for the sake of getting a man and once they get them they don't care anymore.

    my friend got married and told me that it doesn't matter anymore because he's all hers now. I didn't say anything because I didn't wanna hurt her feelings but I don't agree. you should take pride in your looks and wanna be attractive because it makes you feel good as a person. men do care and they do notice. I'd be pissed if my boyfriend decided its OK to gain 40 lbs because we're in a relationship so I wouldn't do it to him. I'd be pissed if he stopped taking me out and doing nice things for me because he got me so I wouldn't do it

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  • You guys are lucky. My ex always told me he'd never let me get fat or let myself go if we ever got married. I'm glad I got rid of that piece of crap. I take care of myself the same way now as I did then. I go to the gym. I don't wear a lot of makeup all the time, but I put on some most days and make sure my hair is neat and looks decent. I don't go out in pajamas and sweats/Hanes, etc. This is because whether I have a man in my life or not, I care about my appearance. If I don't take care of my appearance, I don't feel good about myself, and if I don't feel good about myself, let's just say I become a lot less happy and confident, which can even affect other things in my life (or anyone else's..if you don't feel happy and confident, things are much tougher). So I do it for me, and nobody else. I'd feel even more concerned about looking good if I had a boyfriend, to keep him satisfied. Then again, in a long term relationship I guess things change a bit, I'd let him see me without makeup after awhile and stuff, but I just like to stay looking good for my own satisfaction, so I wouldn't be one of those to let myself go so easily.

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  • my guy says why need to do all that glam stuff when I already found him and I need not impress anyone anymore, he's already head over heels in love with me regardless of how I look. So... I do when I feel like it, I don't when I don't feel like it. It doesn't matter because my guy is in love with me, not for my looks but because I am a great person to him.

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