Why do men call women "fat" as a default insult?

[cipher42]

I've noticed that men (and some women even) seem to like using "fat" as an insult, even when the person they're talking about is clearly a normal weight. Like, when men get rejected especially they retort with shit like "well you're fat anyways", even when they were just hitting on the woman who rejected them. And even when men just don't like a woman, they seem to default to "fat" as their go-to insult. Why do men do that? And do you think it's justified? Does it say something negative about our society that being fat is apparently one of the worst things a woman can be (since this insult does seem to be primarily applied to women, not men so much)?

[lualesca]

It is fair to insult somebody about something that they can change.
For example some men call women fat, but some women will call Smurf or midget to short men. The first one is fair, because with exercise you can lose weight, but there is no exercise to get taller.

Being fat is indeed one of the worst things, not only because you are UGLY FAT, but also because fat people tend to have high blood pressure; breathing can become difficult; you put more pressure on your leg joints; tying shoes can be difficult with a big belly; heart disease; premature death is more likely; life quality tend to be poor; back pain risk of insanity is higher on overweight people; it is difficult to find clothing that fits you; depression; finding a mate can be difficult and often times you find an overweight partner because a fit person is not gonna put up with your weight; meeting and keeping friends can become difficult; you lose self respect and the respect of other because think about it, no one is gonna respect someone who doesn't respect their body and maintain it; seats in planes, theaters or cars can be tight; double chins and saggy skin; bad smell.

Need i say more?

[cipher42]

Did you actually read the question? Again, men use fat as an insult even when the woman in question isn't fat at all. And if the reason being fat is bad is because it's unhealthy, then why don't we just use "you're unhealthy" as an insult? Or saying that someone smokes? Those are unhealthy too, and yet not cause for insult.

[lualesca]

I read your question and to be honest i have rarely heard of men calling women fat for being rejected or something like that, the common consensus seems to be that women are sluts when they reject men, but again i wanted to give you an answer.

Now let's pretend for a second than men use the world fat to insult women, they do it because women's biggest fear is to be fat or something like that.

[cipher42]

I've been called fat by plenty of guys just because they didn't like me disagreeing with them. And there's tons of instances of guys calling girls fat after being rejected. Like, this is absolutely a thing that happens, pretty commonly even.

[lualesca]

Well maybe it's the type of men you or your friends are meeting with, or maybe is the kind of places you are used to hang out at, because if you go to a higher class place to have fun, you expect to meet respectful people.

If i approach a woman and she shuts me down politely, i will say "oh well it was nice meeting you", then i will turn around and leave, if she shuts me down with a disrespectful comment, or make a derogatory remark to make me leave, of course that's gonna trigger a response from me, probably gonna call her a slut, or crazy bitch or whatever comes to my mind.

[cipher42]

This was on the internet. On this site actually. And why is your immediate reaction to insult women when they reject you impolitely? Like even if they're disrespectful, that doesn't make them "sluts" or "crazy bitches". Maybe if the girl is legitimately super rude, but not just when they're kind of impolite.

[lualesca]

It's a triggered response
- "hello my name is lualesca, it is a beautiful day and decided to come say hi to you"
- "get the fuck away from me you creep, i am not friends with ugly losers"
I would really get pissed and very confused as to what i did to get that reaction from her, and same thing goes for women.
- "Oh hi my name Cipher42, how you doing boy, you wanna talk"
- "bitch please go away, i don't like gold diggers"
I bet you would be confused and furious.

[cipher42]

I still don't see "slut" or "crazy bitch" being an appropriate response, because there's not really any basis for those insults. Just "bitch", or "asshole" or "douche" maybe would be reasonable, but I think those are on a different level. But that could just be a personal linguistic perception thing. Honestly my main issue is with people who use baseless insults just because someone disagrees with them or does something they don't like.

[Superchick1234]

@cipher42 It seems like you have a problem accepting when you're wrong.

[cipher42]

@superchick1234: Lmao you complain about me commenting on other people's opinions and now you do this? K dude. In any case, I have no issue accepting when I'm wrong, but rather you have an issue understanding that what you want to believe has no influence on the actual facts of reality.

[Superchick1234]

This is not a fact crazy bitch.

[cipher42]

Ah yes, insults. Those are sure to prove how right you are. Either way, I have facts and evidence, you have your opinion. Looks pretty clear-cut to me.

[Superchick1234]

So much evidence. You honestly really make me laugh.

[cipher42]

I gave you scientific studies, the fuck more do you want?

[Superchick1234]

I don't care.

[cipher42]

So you keep saying. Yet here you are, still talking to me, obviously caring.

[Superchick1234]

I don't care.

[cipher42]

@Superchick1234 Hey, just keep repeating that, maybe after the thousandth time everyone will finally realize how smart and right you are.

[Superchick1234]

Guess what? I still don't care!

[cipher42]

@Superchick1234 And yet here you still are...

[Superchick1234]

I don't care haha.

[cipher42]

You care enough to keep responding. I mean I've been sick in bed all day so I've got the time to waste, but what's your excuse?

[Superchick1234]

You're still answering? Whoa! You haven't yet got it that I DON'T CARE. I won't stop answering until you stop.

[cipher42]

If you didn't care, you wouldn't be this petty. Believe me, I'd know. See, I'm still answering because I do care, or at least I'm petty and bored enough for this to be worth it. At least I've got the guts to admit it instead of denying the obvious.

[Superchick1234]

Haha. Do you think I care? It's fun watching you act like a crazy bitch! Free entertainment.

[cipher42]

@Superchick1234 sweetie the only one acting like a crazy bitch here is you. You're calling me names and saying "I don't care" over and over when you very clearly do, I'm just responding. But I'm sure you don't care about that, huh?

[Junlian]

You know how much times women over react when they are called fat by guys. It spoils there mood, they get stuck up, they act like a total meanie. So when we get mad at women that's out tool of destruction. Why? I dunno honestly. Depending on the guy. Me I don't like that word.

[cipher42]

I don't know, I've never actually seen a girl get mad about getting called fat when she's not and it's clearly just out of spite. Mostly the reactions I've seen are just bewilderment and sometimes amusement.

[Junlian]

When I picked this girl up I said " your not as heavy as I thought. She said " you never tell a girl that, you know what imma just walk away." She ignored me for 20 minutes then told other girls and they say it's no big deal. She started talking to me again. I'm like you gotta be freakn serious.

[cipher42]

But that's not you being petty though, it's you being incautious with your language and her being offended by that. Like, in that instance it's kind of implied that you actually thought she looks heavy, but when fat is used just as an insult the guy usually clearly doesn't actually think the girl is fat, he's just looking for an insult to use.

[NyomiMcClinton]

Men who insult women are jerks and the lowest of scum you can imagine. I pay guys like that any mind. I usually dont deal with stuff like that because I know how to ignore and give two fucks about what a person like that is saying. Women need to stop taking random strangers opinions and letting that get to them. Who cares a lowlife scum like that says about you? He is probably a guy who still says at home with his parents, no job or making minimum wage, and gets no attention from women to begin with.

[vishna]

I dunno, on GaG, I've even seen guys call women fat who are anon and have freaking butterflies and animated characters as their profile pictures. So, it truly is a default insult XD You can't try and reason with that type of pain, that causes a man to call a butterfly fat XD

[AnyaKarun]

Because they know that body image can be especially sensitive for women, so it's the best way to piss us off. And frankly, it's pathetic to call anyone fat just because you are butthurt.

[super147]

Men target weight and breast/vagina size, women target masculinity and penis size. These are the ways in which those feeling insecure and weak try to even out the balance of power. It's just playground bullshit. When someone insults you it's important to consider both the source and the level of objectivity.

[AleDeEurope]

Because it hurts, that's the point of an insult; to hurt. The one at fault here is women, cause they're the ones who are offended by the word "fat". If skinny was offensive, people would also use it as an insult.
Words are words. Words don't hurt. It's all about the meaning you wanna give it to them. If you find the "fat" offensive, then people are gonna use it as an insult against you.

[cipher42]

But why an insult that's so clearly untrue? Like doesn't that just make the guy look stupid since he's so clearly just being petty? Especially when he was just hitting on the girl. It's like asking for something and then when you don't get it saying "well it's stupid and I don't want it anyways".

[AleDeEurope]

No. Like I said, the point of an insult is to hurt. Most women are hurt when they're called fat. Whether it's true or not that they're fat, is irrelevant.

[cipher42]

Meh. I think the best insults are the ones actually rooted in truth. When the insult your using is clearly not even a little bit true, it makes it look more like you're the one getting upset, which just makes you look stupid.

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, but the thing to why telling a skinny girl she's fat, as an insult, is that the skinny girl very likely thinks she's fat, or not hot, so to her, there's some truth in it, and hence why it works.
If she doesn't believe she's fat, or is ok with being fat, then it has no effect, but you rarely find a woman who doesn't get offended when called fat sooooo...

[cipher42]

I don't know, as far as I've seen when a guy calls a girl fat just out of spite the girl recognizes that that's what it is. Mostly the reactions I've seen girls have to being called fat are bewilderment, and sometimes even amusement at the guy since he's clearly wrong and just trying to direct attention away from his own idiocy.

[AleDeEurope]

Never seen that happen to be honest. I've always seen girls flip out, even the people around flip out.
I've had instances when girls just went all out insulting me, calling me every insult in the dictionary while I stayed quiet until I had enough, then called them fat and they end up crying and the other girls flip out saying how I should NEVER call a girl fat xD

[cipher42]

I don't know, maybe we interact with different people. I've been called fat by dumbasses plenty, and I kind of just think it's a stupid insult. Like, I know it's not true, so clearly the guy insulting me is just reaching for any reason to insult me. And most of the girls who I've personally interacted with haven't really cared about being called fat by some random asshole. I mean, clearly there are some girls who do take offense, but tbh I don't even blame them for that. Women are taught to be super self conscious about our looks, our weight especially, so it makes sense that that might be an insecurity for some. But for most of the girls I know, definitely not the case.

[AleDeEurope]

Disagree, for the vast majority it's offensive.

[cipher42]

As I said, maybe we interact with different people. Also consider that you are more likely to notice the instances where they make a big deal about it, and the instances where they don't care are more likely to go unnoticed. So it might not be that the majority of instances actually go like you think, but rather only the majority that you actually see and remember.

[AleDeEurope]

lol.

[MegaTony]

Most women really put effort into their looks, and being called fat in an argument can definitely be a pretty tough thing to go through for them. I don't think it's justified, but neither are other insults which use for example sexualites, insecurities etc.

[cipher42]

But what about when it's clearly not true? I'd think that just makes the guy look stupid and insecure.

[MegaTony]

Their intention is to hurt the other person. Women are very self conscious and they worry about looks way more than men do. If the woman, however, isn't bothered by it, it is pretty stupid, but I doubt that in real relationships it would be like that.

[cipher42]

I get that the point is to be insulting, I just think that calling a girl fat when she clearly isn't is counterproductive and just makes the guy look dumb.

[MegaTony]

If the girl is insulted, the guy won. I mean we are talking about an argument here and the main idea of it is to insult the other person. If the girl is insulted the guy managed to do what he wanted, if she isn't it's pretty stupid and pointless.

[cipher42]

Maybe, but I think there's a plenty big chance of the girl not being insulted and just thinking the guy's an idiot. Like, it's just a shitty insult. Maybe it works sometimes, but plenty of the time it just makes the person trying to use fat as an insult look even worse, which is clearly counterproductive.

[MegaTony]

Yeah I get that, but it may be hard for you to understand and clearly it is for me since I'm a man but a lot of women do find this insulting as they are always trying to not gain weight. Thin or really fat, these women are self conscious if they're insulted by it and I definitely think there are quite a few women like this. I don't think a guy in a relationship would ever say this out of the blue if they knew that their girlfriend didn't have body issues, but if said completely unexpectedly it's plain right stupid more than anything.

[cipher42]

Sure I can see that. Some girls are insecure about it, and that makes sense. But since so many aren't, I feel like the insult has as good a chance of making the guy look dumb as it does of actually insulting the chick, so why not just choose an insult that's not so obviously false?

[MegaTony]

As I said it's usually the case of the girl being overly self conscious, the guy picking up on it and making an insult which hurts her the most. In most cases this is what happens. It does make the guy look dumb, however, if the girl isn't bothered by it, but with the media influence and other things surrounding womens' looks it's a well known stereotype that women who get called fat find it as an insult. To conclude this - it's common when a girl is bothered by it and the guy abuses it. If the girl doesn't care the guy would be pretty stupid and an insensitive boyfriend.

[JRICHARDS1996]

Because it is the most painful insult they can assail a woman with, akin to the way women shame men for being virgins, creeps, and/or just a simple 'weird.' I am not sure if it is justified or not, but it does certainly reflect the attitudes of our society, for better or for worse. To women, a virgin is the worst thing a man can be. To men, the worst thing a woman can be is fat.

[JRICHARDS1996]

I would add however that while I certainly prefer thinner women and view fatness as unhealthy and bad, I do find myself attracted to women like Robyn Lawley at times and would prefer for belly dancers - who really arouse me - to be just a little heavier.

[Itsmeyay]

Yes, Insulting a person. Is never good. But to answer your question,

The reason I think is because men generally have the idea that fit, skinny or curvy women don't want to be fat, and those women themselves see being fat as a negative trait on themselves. Men then use that knowledge against them.

[shadowlegend]

Because they think all women are sensitive about their weight and regardless of their size, a man thinks he'll hurt her feelings if he says that. It's just a petty, cheap insult and there's no point in acknowledging a man who behaves that way.

[ThisDudeHere]

Because said men know that weight is a highly sensitive topic for women. They're just using whatever they have at their disposal to get at you.

[TheDevilInside]

Because in this day and age, being fat means being very undesirable. Everyone is afraid of being fat. So calling someone fat almost always is a sure way to at least give someone a pang of self consciousness and insecurity

[notallthere98]

Because in our shit society women's value is decided by their appearance (which is fucking dumb and needs to stop, along with fat shaming). So by calling a women fat, they are saying she has no value

[Sunflower19]

Because they have nothing better to say or insult. I had someone try to tell me that but instead of it pissing me off I ended up pissing them off...
I can be very feisty if I'm messed with so... Lol

[BornIntoThis]

I'm Czech and this is not true in my surroundings. People here get called fat only if they are, both men and women.

[Anonymous]

can ask the same question about girls automatically teasing aboyt dick size... but these days fat doesn't seem to get as much as a reaction anymore. I've found if you diss a girls eyebrows it really cuts deep lol

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Its just a stock insult you throw at a woman. i've seen a guy bash a womans weight but his girl at home was the same size lol.

[blondfrog]

Pretty sure women do it too to men. And if anything its worse for men at least fat women depending on how fat they are can get to be models or get thousands of compliments on their social media when they post a "sexy" pic of themselves.

[mrkdvsn]

Simply tossing in words like "fat" or "stupid" when they clearly don't apply is sheer ignorance on the part of the person saying it. It's almost like arbitrarily thowing in the F-word when it's not necessary

[gmanhotman]

people go for what hurts most when they are hurt so they call a women fat attempting to hurt her back.

[ScottSummers]

i think its usually *whore* as default insult.. anyways fat or whore both are horrible things to say to someone

[cipher42]

Yeah, but whore is a lot more subjective. Mostly I'm just mystified by why people use an insult they know not to be true.

[NYkid27]

Probably because a lot of women are insecure about their weight

[loneman]

I agree that is probably the reason. :)

[legalboxers]

its like calling a woman a C U Next Tuesday. They got no ammo and probably are dumb themselves, so they want to drag you in the mud in the process.

[Anonymous]

same with calling guys short. women like to be known as "thin" or whatever, and guys want to be known as "tall". that's how society likes it, right?

[cipher42]

No one uses short as an insult the same way they use fat though. Like you wouldn't see a dude being called short when someone gets pissed off at him in an internet argument or whatever

[Opinion Owner]

oh, have you seen trump. go look at his tweets towards un

[cipher42]

Trump is in a league of his own as far as stupidity is concerned.

[Opinion Owner]

still doesn't resort to him calling the leader of the NK, short

[yotes-of-472]

Expectations of seeing women as fit and healthy, I reckon.

[reixun]

Ikr it's hilarious when it's obviously not true..

[RedRobin]

Because they can't think of anything better to say

[GraveTruth]

Only with teens and young adults.

[Major_Vybz]

Because women don't like being called fat. So its the go to insult.

[cipher42]

But if it's clearly not true, don't men just look stupid saying it?

[Major_Vybz]

Nope because a lot of women are insecure about their weight. I know girls who have great bodies and they still think that they need to lose weight.

[finesse_]

Becuase I know they hate it.

[Heemus_Christ]

because they're fat.

[BertMacklinFBI]

cause trigger

[Heemus_Christ]

look at that dislike hagaha ill help out

[Omar5881]

Same as you call man you got a short dick

[Anonymous]

Lol, they figure it's the most hurtful insult

[TheUltimateSucc]

To piss them off. It usually works too. (:

[cipher42]

But why that specific word? Like why not call them a bitch or some nonsense? Why say something that's obviously not true. Honestly I feel like that just makes the guy look dumb. And honestly most of the time when a woman gets called fat and it's clearly out of spite, their reaction isn't so much anger as it is being confused, and sometimes even amused.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Because some women are fat.

[cipher42]

Did you actually read the question?

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Yeah i did they are just searching for an insult to rile you up.