Virgin at 27- weird?

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone.

I don't know how to write what I want to without sounding like a complete loser. lol.

Well, the thing is that till date, I have had only short-term relationships, the longest of which was perhaps 4 months.

And because I did not want to have sex till the relationship had lasted a little longer, I have ended up as a virgin at the age of 27, which is 10 years older than the average age at which people in this country lose their virginity!

My personal life is a complete mess, because when the men I date find out I have never had sex, they tell me it's abnormal and unnatural, and dump me. Most people also feel that to never have had a serious relationship by this age reeks of immaturity, although in general, I don't think people would classify me as immature!

Anyone has any advice?

Updates

+1 y

Ionlife: What do you mean 'I won't put out easily'?! They told me they didn't want to be with a virgin.

[ionlife]

Never explain yourself to any one. Because the person who likes you doesn't need it, and the person who dislikes you won't believe it.

I think we are too obsessed with statistics, averages, and just following the perceived norm that we forget that we are all unique as individuals.

To me it sounds like the guys didn't dump you because you were a virgin but rather because they realized that you won't put out easily hence they decided to move on.

As for not having a serious relationship, you need to ask yourself why you've only had short term relationships. Write down the reasons, whether it was their fault or yours, and look at whether you can find a common occurrence. You may want to also try dating a few different guys who you may not consider at first to verify that your 'guy picker' is just not misadjusted. :)

[ionlife]

Let me elaborate on the "put out easily". If a guy is only after sex and he comes across a virgin then it means two things to him, she either wants to lose his virginity to him or she won't be having sex with him anytime soon...

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

I understand what Ion is saying, and it does make sense.

I will say don't focus on the sex issues.

But the idea of reviewing why you have not had a serious relationship at this point in your life would be a good activity for you.

You need to figure out what it is you're after in a partner. And not being in a serious relationship thus far indicates that you have either not put a lot of thought into it, or what you think you desire is actually not correct for you.

The sex will come when you're ready.

[francine]

I think its great that you are still a vigin and I would wait for marriage to go all the way. If a man is willing to love you forever then that's love, true love and if he is willing to commit then I think that worth waiting for. Why give your self to someone who can't commit like that. its not worth it! Wait for the right one. I think you are SMART!

[irishchick]

Being a virgin a 27 is not weird.

You shouldnt feel pressured into having sex. It will come natural when you are with the right person. Also another tip perhaps try not to think as each new guy is an opportunity to lose it, as that puts more pressure on you.

Over all though you are not weird, take care

[obligations]

i think its cool. I'm always fascinated by those who make that choice. I have questions so please if you get this contact me.

[bunny420]

The choice to have a relationship first? lol

[lifes_curve_ball]

If they dump you for something like that then they're not worth the time of day. And just because of that you can't judge someone to be immature, it's just dumb. If you take that argument and say its true then what that can easily be interpreted to imply is that if someone loses their virginity at a really early age then they're more mature because of it and that is pure garbage. I'm 21 and I'm a virgin. I get that there's the 6 year age difference since you said 27, but it's the same concept really, you just don't want to go and lose it to someone you're not serious about. I agree with WaitingAtTheDoor in analyzing about finding out what it is you're looking for and whatnot. There's nothing wrong with waiting till you're ready and again the guys who dump you for being a virgin aren't worth it so don't stress over them.

[ApocalypseAO]

truth be told that's actually cool. I respect you a lot for that. doesn't make you a loser or anything. ANY guy would DIE to have sex with a 27 y.o virgin. I KNOW I WOULD lol. but seriously. forget about what the others are saying and do what's right for you =)

[Anonymous]

“The unicorn…because of its intemperance, not knowing how to control itself before the delight it feels towards maidens, forgets its ferocity and wildness, and casting aside all fear it will go up to the seated maiden and sleep in her lap, and thus the hunter takes it.”

[Littletad]

Nope, not at all. I'm find it pretty fascinating :).