Why do so many black woman hate their hair so much?

Question

So, I'm black and I noticed that a majority of black woman hate their hair and they often hate their kids hair. I've read a lot of blogs and stories about a young black women wanting to go natural but her mother either said no, or forced them to get perms until they were 18, but even then the girl's mother still advised her against going natural. There's a blog written by a black women urging and pressuring every black women to never go natural and keep wearing wigs. Every time I read a freaking blog about a girl wanting to go natural, it's typically the mother trying to force the daughter to continue to wear weaves and everyone else typically accepts the idea, some don't but they aren't trying to talk her out of going natural but their mother, who's also black always is. I've known girls at school who always felt incscure about this hair and feared being judged by others or they just hate their curls. I see more black women accepting their kids hair but a large majority of them really don't want their daughter going natural. I also watched a video about a single black mother who always bleached her kids skin and told them, the lighter you are the better you are, and went on national television saying how light skin is so amazing and how she wishes she was lighter. She'd make her kids bathe in skin lightening cream...

Why are so many black women like this?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I am mixed race and have a curly-afro style hair. My mum is black and got proper black hair.
As a kid my mum did not knew how to manage the nature of my hair, and would brush it hardcore on dry hair. It resulted in me having straigh wavy and massive hair all over the place !! everyone would make fun of me at school calling me names or michael jackson.
then from 13 years old i would only have them in a low bun. when i turned 16 i was on holidays with friends and accidently had my hair dryied free without brushing it after going in the pool and my friends were amazed by my curls. it went big after 20 mns and they were evn more amazed , but they would say i was like a baby sheep when really i wanted to be just a pretty girl, i was called an animal.
later in my life aroud 25 i started to do afro for a couple of years but i am a very introvert person, and people always treated me as if i was a party girl , fun, funky and crazy while really i am not. I disliked the association of afro= fun party goers girl.
I started to straight them and for the first time in my life i saw guys hitting on me, flirting , calling me pretty etc.
i had braids also
nowadays i am stuck in between the curl on some days and the straight on others.
i still notice that i get more interest from men when they are straight rather then curly.
I think curls on woman past 40 looks really bad, before its cute but after 40 it looks like they are older , that they have damaged hair etc and i am talking about the proper curl not the wavy look that even woman in their 70's looks good into.
Mariah carey is naturally a curl she straight them since ages, and honestly right now with curl she would look less pretty.
because it is such a statement to have massive curly hair on your face
sometimes i can't see when i walk , its always in my face etc.
i feel more feminine when straight.
i know it is wrong to say that and many of my mixed race girlfriend would hit me in the face to confess this. but that's the truth to me. my mum is natural but she used to wig , she can't be bothered now , but the thruth is black woman hates their hair because very rare are those who can have them long (my cousin got hers natural under her shoulder which is amazing!!) very rare , plus its so much hardwork and the texture is so different than any other in the world , which is amazing in fact but society shown it was just ugly. there is big change though !! very big !! more woman go natural than in the past now which is great i th

amarahorrorstory · Accepted Answer

I got a relaxer really young. Like 8, because I wanted one. I grew up in a white area and I wanted to look normal. My mom and sister got them so I wanted one too. She knew I'd regret it but I begged and begged. Honestly, my hair did not need one and I quit when I was 15. But I've met people who say their parents won't let them and honestly, black women will make excuses for days about why they like relaxers but at the end of the day it's because they have been taught by Pantene commercials that this is the way hair should look. People always ask me how I got mine so straight, so there is not excuse, you most certainly can straighten natural hair with chemicals. I however don't have an issue with weaves, I had gotten my first one in 2016 and I really enjoyed it because I didn't have to worry about my hair in the summer. But I did miss being able to change my hair, and grew a ton tho. As long as you keep the hair clean and good looking, I think weaves are fine.

skywardprincess · Accepted Answer

For me I don't hate my natural hair, I love it. I've never had a perm and I take really good care of it so it's about halfway down my back. Now that being said it is a PAIN in the ass to manage. I just washed my own hair about 2 weeks ago for the first time in 20 years aka first time ever just because it's so difficult. My hair is thick so that's what makes it harder to do. I would love to do it everyday if I could but it's practically impossible, not to mention how much it would cost for all the supplies I need to do it properly

madhatters4 · Accepted Answer

i think it's two fold. many find it very difficult to manage without spending hours and lots of money to keep it from being "kinky". then there is the added issue that many people historically thought black women's hair was nappy (let's not forget conservative radio host don imus calling a bunch of black women "nappy headed hoes") and so if society is telling you your hair is unappealing, nappy, raggedy, etc then you may develop a dislike for it

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Accepted Answer

Blacks have been humiliated and conditioned to hate themselves by their slaves captivers (Cacausians) for centuries.

That humiliation and conditioning isn't easy to break.

Some blacks have overcome and some blacks are still struggling to overcome their inner demons of self hatred and shame passed down from generations.

colorsoft · Answer

Societal imposed standards of Western beauty that are drawn from a predominantly Germanic hailing peoples.

Unfortunately this toxic miasma can seep into the minds of everyone in these societies - they only see women of a certain type on TV or in magazines so are forced to conclude that their body/hair/skin type isn't attractive.

And I fucking hate it.

Anon85 · Answer

They just don't like it. Most people prefer western hair, so it's only natural that there would also be plenty of people without it that also like it. People shy away from saying that because they're afraid of being labeled a bigot, but it doesn't make it any less true. People are different, and people are going to like different things. Just because it doesn't balance out in this perfect wheel of colors doesn't make it wrong. It's no different than skin tone, or eye color, or any other difference between races.

Brokenheartedx · Answer

I have frizzy wirey curly hair... tho not black it’s a fucking nightmare to fix it... black women hair is finer but just as frizzy as mine and to fix it everyday.. it takes me an hour to straighten every kink out, id say about an hour and a half to 2 for a black woman... plus the damage it would cause- from experience of over bleaching and straightening, standing in a shower with my hair melting...
I’m with black girls on this... shiny straight hair looks easier to manage plus you never see adverts for shampoo for frizzy curly hair which is why females don’t want it
Tho I’ve often wondered wtf is goin on with Beyoncé and her kid... she wants her kid to be natural and proud but Beyoncé has wigs and weaves and has a tendency to bleach her skin? I think Beyoncé needs to take her own advice

spiderweirdo · Answer

The only way to fix a problem like this is by more Black women in the media choosing to flaunt a natural style.

I don't think it helps that there are less black celebrities doing this in today's mainstream media.

Don't get me wrong, its completely everyone's choice how you dress and present yourself, and that choice should remain personal.

But... if during audition time these big movie and music executives chose more black women who embraced this natural look for the part, then they would be the new model that all others followed...

It's a bit like when there was only a white doll to choose from, this set the example for beauty for ALL the children who brought her.

As soon as more black women appear on TV sporting natural hair, then it will send a signal for the world watching. The ONLY media frame that does this so far is the Runway, and that's got heaps of problems itself.

Media has and always will be the key.

CollegeGradBiotch · Answer

I feel like this question is weird and a bit biased. There is a HUGE movement of black women who are going natural, and are educating their parents on how they could've taken better care of their hair. Some choose not to go natural because it is very high maintinence, and some just like their hair straight. Not everything is self hate. Latinas who straighten their hair (and tons of them do), are hardly accused of self hate. I just feel like black women are always singled out for doing things almost everyone else does

Afrochick · Answer

I don't hate my hair.. its just so. HIGH FUCKING MAINTENANCE !!!

RolandCuthbert · Answer

I don't know little one. I can only say this. I was out with friends New Year's Eve. A "Black" woman came to our table with a small "afro". I nearly lost my mind.

Justacatlady · Answer

I think its partly from years of being told to look more "white" or to fit in with the societal norm. For so long, women with natural hair were looked down on because high society was primarily old white men. So if you keep telling WOC that they would look better with long straight hair like a white woman, then eventually they forget that they look amazing with natural hair and the pass on what their mother taught them.
With more and more women like you and more understanding, hopefully WOC will embrace their natural state more often. I know I would love seeing it more.

mak_1 · Answer

This is an interesting question! I’m 100% black but my natural hair is very soft, loose curls that most people would associate with someone who was mixed race. It wasn’t kinky at all so it was super manageable. My mom never pressured me to get a relaxer and actually told me I was too young to have one until I was 10 or so. I really wanted one because I hated how my hair would curl up and get frizzy in the summer, so I finally got one and now it is one of my biggest regrets! I haven’t gotten another since I was 11 and have gotten it cut several times, but it’s still at the ends of my hair. My curls are now a lot less defined and it’s still relaxed a bit at the ends.

So for me, it wasn’t about hating my hair because it was beautiful, and is still healthy and goes down my back. It was more so me being young and wanting to wear it straight during the summer. A very stupid reason, but that was before the popularized wave of natural hair!

menina · Answer

That's because black women's hair is harder to manage, and you have to be patient and spend more money to take care of it.
And it also has to do with the pressure that black women get because of their hair. They're used to hear that their hair is ugly, that it should be hidden, that is not appropriate etc...
So, those ideas stay in their minds. They still believe that only white people have "good hair".
Which is not true. Anyone can have beautiful hair if they take care of it.

" I also watched a video about a single black mother who always bleached her kids skin and told them, the lighter you are the better you are, and went on national television saying how light skin is so amazing and how she wishes she was lighter. She'd make her kids bathe in skin lightening cream..." - This is unbelievable! This woman should be arrested or someone should take her kids from them. She's sick! And she's teaching her children to hate themselves.

Streamhopper · Answer

I can't answer that honestly, being white. I don't understand that feeling. I think black girls with straight hair are pretty cool. They're breaking the status quo; which shouldn't exist but does. But I'm just as cool with you being you as anything else.

Pink2000 · Answer

The majority of black somen no longer think like this. The new generation has grown to love their hair. From my great grandmothers point of view in her day it was best not to look black. These articles are old stories. Try reading some nice ones about natural hair.

Anonymous · Answer

Society taught the black community that natural is bad. And a way to hide it is by wearing wigs or sew-ins. One big reason is cause we live in America - notice how other black counties don't give a single f* about straight hair? American standards of living here basically.

MackToday · Answer

Living around too many other races with straight hair messed with them. I bet in Africa black women don't hate their hair.

Leafpool2 · Answer

I don't think it's so many or even most. But It's drilled in by culture at large that black people's natural hair is bad and gross and they should be ashamed of it. Many workplace dress codes even forbid natural styles even though it's... how their hair works... it's tough thing to unlearn

Anonymous · Answer

They just don’t like their regular hair since it’s hard to maintain and breaks when trying to keep it long according to my ex wife who is black, she never pressured our kids since they had long and strong hair but wavy because they were mixed since I’m white

xXiTacoXx · Answer

Many are force to conform to a set beauty standard which unfortunately doesn't favor the looks of us black girls. There are women and girls still being denied jobs and forced out of schools and work places for having "unkempt" and "unprofessional" looking hair even if it is the most well kept afro around.

random56286 · Answer

A lot of people hate their hair. I used to break combs in my hair. People with curly hair want straight and people with straight hair want curly.

MermaidMotel · Answer

No point in hating my hair. Just gotta deal with it. I've been relaxing my hair for years and just recently had the urge to stop. My natural hair is long, thick and hard to manage... but, it will be a fun journey learning how.

hahahmm · Answer

I don’t know that it is ‘so many’. Maybe it depends on where you grow up. Also plenty of white women modify their hair so it’s not exclusively a black issue.

Why do so many black woman hate their hair so much?

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