Why is he taking it so slow with me? is he even still interested in me?

[alexis7]

so for the past few weeks I've been talking to this one guy. I met him while I was walking down the street and we ended up going to the same bar that night. we just started talking from there.

he is always super busy with schoolwork so I don't talk to him that frequently during the school week, but we always make an effort to see each other on the weekend. I know that sounds like a booty call, but he knows what kind of girl I am, and respects that I won't give it up right away. in fact, he has only kissed me once since the first night we met!

he didn't text me for a week straight just to see if I would text him, as a type of test, to see how committed I was to getting to know him. he has a bad past with girls taking advantage of him, so he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be like that.

but it seems that he is requiring that I do a lot of the work now. he invited me over last night to hang out with him and his friends, and I spent the night in his bed, and he didn't even touch me. he didn't kiss me goodbye when I left either.

im so confused about his intentions. he has never brought me on a date, but he still says he wants to see me on the weekends. he acts like he's interested in me, but then he requires that I text him first most of the time, and he doesn't even make a move on me when I'm with him, even if he says all this really cute stuff to me.

is he just taking it slow, and making sure that I am comfortable with how things are going before we take it to the next level?

[Xenophobia]

Don't interpret taking it slow as being not interested. If anything taking it slow is the best way. There's no expectations, therefore there is no pressure. His past experiences with girls who have screwed him over plays a big role in him trying to take it slow. You can't blame the guy, some girls will see what they can get away with. Some do push it to the limit and test guys.

You shouldn't be upset if he didn't kiss you. It doesn't signify that he isn't interested. Maybe he felt uncomfortable doing it. Trust me, after a few bad experiences with girls, not only did my standards go up, but my patience increased to. I'm not willing to be played and in order to protect myself, taking slow allows us to figure out if we are getting into a relationship for the right/wrong reasons.

Just give the guy a chance. If you live life with expectations and don't live up to them, you'll see yourself as a failure. The same thing goes with dating. If you go in with no expectations, it makes the reward of a meaningful relationship that much better.

[alexis7]

Is it weird though that he hasn't offered to take me on a date yet? because we never really hang out just the two of us, and its been a few weeks. I am having such a hard time interpreting what he wants!

[Xenophobia]

He doesn't want the two of you to get sick of each other. If you guys were to hang out more frequently it isn't necessarily a bad thing. If anything he's still trying to figure out what he wants, so he doesn't make a commitment he can hold true to.

[alexis7]

Thats a good point! I am sort of uncomfortable with the pace we are going at, should I ask him like next weekend about how he feels? I keep questioning myself and wondering why I don't hear from him more often, and why he has to be around his friends in order to see me.

[Dan2287]

From my perspective, he seems like he might be a player. He wants to see you on weekends, is currently respecting your stance on booty calls, and is continuing to say all the right things to you. I'm getting the sense now that you are falling for him, and that's exactly what he would want.

It seems like he is just establishing some sort of trust between the two of you first - and then that's when you will open up to him more.

I could be wrong but that's just my opinion..

[alexis7]

But there are plenty of easy girls he could get with, why would he waste every weekend just talking to me? I do see your point though, I've actually wondered the same thing.

[Dan2287]

That was just the first thing that came to my head; Xenophobia had a pretty good response though which could explain his behavior as well. I don't know the guy so I can't really say what his motives are. If he was a player, who's to say he doesn't talk to other girls who are easy? And an easy woman might not be nearly as appealing as you. I guess the idea of a player came to my head when he keeps saying how women have hurt him, yet keeps wanting to hang out and almost make you feel sorry for him