Is he leading me on or is he just taking things slow?

I met this guy 2 months ago and ever since we've been talking everyday and hangout at least 3 times a week. I'm a virgin and he's been aware of that since the first week we started talking and he knows that I'm looking for a relationship. He pays for everything for me when we go out and is completely understanding that I want to wait to have sex until the time is right. I don't feel pressure from him and he makes me super comfortable. The problem is that him and his girlfriend of 2 years broke up a month prior to us meeting. They broke up because he was moving back to Pennsylvania from North Carolina which is where she lives. I recently had the "what are we" conversation and he told me that he didn't want to put a title on anything yet because of his recent breakup. I ask him what his intentions were and also told him I didn't want us to just become all about sex when we get to that point and he told me it isn't just about sex and if it was, he would've gone out and just hooked-up with someone.
He's also introduced me to most of his family and all of his friends.

My question is, should I stick around with him in hopes that it will turn into a relationship and how long until I have the "what are we" conversation again?
or is getting a relationship out of him hopeless?

As for the sex goes, the furthest we've gone is making out. I asked him what his intentions are and that I didn't want this to turn into just sex when we eventually get to that level and he told me it's not just about sex and if it was, he would've just gone and hooked up with someone else
It seems like it was too soon for him to show interest in me since he just got out of a relationship but we basically met on accident when I was going out with one of his friends for my birthday that I had a secret crush on and he ended up tagging along which pissed me off at the time because I was interested in his friend but we ended up hitting it off and he asked me for my number.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Is it just me or are you in a relationship in all but name? You hangout 3 times a week he understands your stance on sex and doesn't pressure you, it sounds like you are really close and compatible. Typically after a relationship goes bad, even if its for reasons out of our control, even if we find someone we like and think we could love right away, the sting stays with us for a while. You just had the conversation, so just like he isn't pressuring you for sex, don't pressure him with the "what are we conversation." Just like he is waiting for you to be ready for sex you should be waiting for him to be ready for the conversation. He makes you feel so comfortable return the feeling.

    1. Since he just got out of a relationship and isn't pressuring you in the sex dept., wait for him to feel comfortable.

    2. Not only is getting a relationship not hopeless, except for the What are we conversation it sounds like you two are in one.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You are going to drive yourself crazy overthinking like this. if you know what he just came out of, why the rush to determine "what are we"? just go with the flow and enjoy his company and soon enough, he'll say something. you ask the "what are we" question again and you will start the chain reaction that will lead to him leaving. up to you.

  • If this guy has been single for 3 months, and been talking to you for 2 months (nonstop), he would have asked you out by now if he felt that way about you.

    Getting over his past relationship shouldn't take this long. If he wanted a relationship with you, he would have initiated.

    I don't know why he's even continuing with the frequent communication. Guys don't invest that amount of time in a girl unless they feel strongly about her.


What Girls Said 2

  • It's Only been '2 months' and Hopefully still counting, Kelsmarie0, and with This, already it doesn't have to be etched in stone that the both of you have this special chemistry and the beginnings of a beautiful relationship of being together that Could very Well end In-----Getting a relationship out of him.
    He is fresh out of a Real relationship with another, so go slow with his flow for now. Nurture and nurse what you have started, and without any clinging and singing on your part with Peer pressure, your water works may come overflowing faster than you think, which Right Now------Don't Over think, just enjoy getting to know one another.
    He has been this Honest John with you by telling you where you are at at this point in time, sweetie. he doesn't want to rush into anything until he is sure. And with him turning you on to his friends and some family as well, is telling me that with the "What are we," you Are Someone special whom he is proud to one day bring home to mom, should everything go down this path, which where I am sitting, Isn't a Beaten one. He respects you, knows you are pure and innocent like a rare rose so you know he isn't for the Sex.
    With the writing on the wall here, it's too late 'For him to show interest.' He Has, and by Including you with a part of his life that some guys may find 'Was too soon,' he apparently didn't think so.
    It looks like you picked a winner and a potential keeper, hang on to him... it wasn't in the cards with the Other, I have your magic 'Number' already---------It's Two like him and you, perhaps two birds of a feather.
    Nothing in life is a guarantee but death and taxes. The longer you stay and spend together, the More in store there could very well be for a chance for romance... it's your choice, your call, but by throwing in the towel, it's someone else's gain from Hosh Kosh, should you Snooze, you could lose.
    It's not over until the fat lady sings.
    Good luck. xx

  • It seems to me he hasn't given you any reason to distrust him, in fact he has shown he is trustworthy. Biggest signs is if he really wanted sex, he wouldn't be wasting his time with a virgin, paying for her all the time, introducing her to his family, etc. It sounds like he really cares about you. Just give him time and don't pressure him. He just got out of a serious relationship. He clearly likes you, but don't push him away!