I've been to a club once, I went alone because I have no real life friends since I moved last summer. Have or would you ever go by yourself? Why or why not?
Yes I have gone by myself to bars/clubs multiple times and probably will continue to do so on occasion in the future. Even though I don't really like going out by myself, there's a few reasons why I've done it in the past and will probably keep doing it:
1. I've moved around a bit since becoming an adult and I would go out to try and meet new people. I've had some friendly conversations with people, but haven't had much luck in actually making friends in these places.
2. I'm prone to isolating myself and letting anxiety get the better of me, so every once in a while I just force myself to get out and do something. It usually starts out a little nerve-racking, but once I'm there for a little bit the anxiety subsides and I can enjoy having a change of scenery.
As a side note, I've never felt unsafe going by myself, and if I drink I make sure to stay within my limits.
3. Every once in a while I just get the urge to wanna go dance. If there's an event that's playing the stuff I'm into, then I might go for an hour or two, get my song/dance fix then go home. I really don't care about socializing with anyone when this is the reason I go out.
Club is really not my scene. Only time i go is when someone drags me there. If i really needed a drink I'll have someone who's old enough to legally drink go to the liquor store and buy the drinks i want
When I was younger I went to clubs a lot, and I preferred solo. When I went with wing-men, they'd kind of mess up my whole game and I'd usually end up returning home empty-handed. The one exception was wing-women. If I ended up going with a female friend, and she was talking to me and laughing and we were having a good time, for some reasons girls often approached a lot in those situations, including one ridiculous night where two girls fought over who gets to go home with me. Maybe they thought I was safe since I had the female friend by my side.
That said, my way of going to night clubs was not trying to look tough and hard. I'd high-five the bouncer, talk to everyone around me, guy and girl, and if girl starts getting flirty, then maybe dance. But I was happy just chatting to everyone, and liked to go straight to the center of the dance floor and dance and talk to people without folding my arms and trying to look like a badass in the corner.
Also helped for me to just be happy making friends. I didn't consider it "empty-handed" even on nights where I got no numbers and no one went home with me. And in retrospect all my worst girlfriends were ones I picked up in night club. But I made some of my best friends in night clubs who are still my closest friends today. And I think that "friend first" mindset also helps you stay approachable and easy to talk to for everyone.
"And in retrospect all my worst girlfriends were ones I picked up in night club." Any particular reason why they were worst and do you think there might be any correlation with meeting them at clubs.
@Oram52 I met plenty of nice girls at clubs who became my close friends over the years so it's not like there aren't very nice girls who attend, but I think if a girl is interested in dancing and getting it on in that sort of environment, it's all going to be driven by first impressions for a start, and secondly even the best-looking ones might be kind of desperate if they're actually interested in getting dates through the process.
@Oram52 Might be similar to Tinder that way. Never bothered with online dating, but the chances of finding wife material online might be kind of slim given how much the focus is on first impressions and jumping straight into dates.
Was it lack of comparability or any specific negative traits or behaviours? Would you advice against dating someone somebody might have met at nightclub?
I haven't but I would. Typically I go out primarily for the music and usually meet new people anyway. So i dont have a problem with going it alone at the start.
Yes, but never sober. The alcohol and atmosphere is relaxing even if you’re a loner you can live vicariously watching others dance and socialize. You never know if someone will approach you. As a side note if you are a girl byself at a bar you will be quite approachable because you have no man near you or friends so your motives are less ambiguous just tell a loved one where you are going so its more safe and pack some kind of weapon.
Back in the day, before smartphones and Tinder, I enjoyed going alone because I could take social chances without friends seeing if I fell flat on my face on the dancefloor, or got slapped in the face by the chick in the pink dress.
I do go to bars and clubs alone. I don’t go out a lot but I get the urge to get out of the house and socialise and be around people music fun so if I do then I just pluck up the courage and go.
When I was a teenage and then a 20-something TFL/incel alone was the only way that I went anywhere. Nightclubs and bars were a complete waste of money and time.
All the time. Especially when I'm traveling alone. Whats the big deal? You afraid the boogie man will come or are you just afraid to take you life into you own hands.
no. I saw few people actually alone multiple times. Before few weeks one dude randomly approached us and started cracking stupid jokes, i felt bad for him.
I've never been to a club, but I definitely would if I could! wouldn't be like the guy in the pic though, I would be out there having fun and meeting every new person I could xD
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Anonymous
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bar yes club no. you should have friends at a club to back you up. as a guy, you talk to the wrong girl or some drunk guy gets you in trouble in some round about way, you need people there for you
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