Do you prefer traditional or nontraditional women?

Question

What i mean by that is when i say a traditional woman i mean one who enjoys cooking cleaning, baking, loves children (very maternal), wants marriage and a husband doesn't swear much or use vulgar language, dresses very feminine mostly and has values of maybe less modern than today, and when i say nontraditional i mean someone who doesn't fit a stereotype and does what they want and lives how they want, doesn't believe in gender rolls, or something should be a certain way, maybe isn't very good with kids, is very independent, lives life day by day, not bothered about marriage etc.

Neither are meant to be negative, just trying to give a maybe exaggerated example of what i am saying.

nightdrot · Accepted Answer

Well, a bit of a balance, but it tilts to the traditional. My girlfriend and I have lived together for 12 years and have three children together. So in that sense we are very not traditional. However, it is not because we disdain tradition.

To the contrary, we tend to be very traditional. It was just that we decided that we love what we shared and that it was natural and beautiful. It would not be improved by an expensive ring, a big ceremony, and a permission slip from the state. It being even more complex in that we were both raised - and consider ourselves - Catholic and the religious aspect is not something that we have reconciled in our own minds. (We even attend church regularly with our children but do not take of our faith's sacraments.)

Beyond that, were you to see us and not notice the absence of wedding rings you would think that we were a traditional suburban family. We love our children with all our hearts. We take them on to church and school and all sorts of after school activities. I am the champion "Family Tickle Monster" - or so I am told.

For my part, I work in politics now as an independent consultant and work from home. My girlfriend works for a trade association/think tank and therefore out of the house, but her employer is very easy about allowing my girlfriend to work from home as needed.

My girlfriend is very much the traditional "mommy" and does all the things that you think of a mother doing. Not least the cooking as we both consider my cooking skills to be somewhere close to the coronavirus as a threat to national health - not to mention the family.

That said, if my girlfriend wanted to quit tomorrow and be a full time stay at home mommy, I would not object in the slightest. It is just that she is interested in politics - especially family law and policy - and feels that she can contribute to our family financially without unduly sacrificing other things.

Still, I am - and my girlfriend says this more than I do - the head of the household. However, because I love her I do not lord that position over her or the children. In effect, it is balanced and as often as not, when I get on my high horse over something - as being in politics I often do - my girlfriend just smiles at me, rolls her eyes and kisses me on the cheek. Usually ending in gales of laughter from both of us.

So the overall theme, I guess, is tradition. Modified perhaps a bit to accommodate our personalities and interests. Overall, my girlfriend is a very feminine and soft spoken woman who, it has to be said, is also very professional, knows her own mind and can speak it politely but plainly and forcefully when she needs to.

For my part, I need that sense that I am protecting my family and caring for it - though that does not mean that I demand obedience. I love my girlfriend and our little Munchkins and cannot imagine my life without them. So I act accordingly and am happy that my girlfriend - who could easily be on her own and "non-traditional" chooses instead to be my partner and my best friend in the tradition of an ideal married couple - ironically absent the wedding rings.

jakerson181 · Accepted Answer

The need in this day and age to categorize women into one of these two broad stereotypical categories is an exercise in futility. As an example, your picture of the tradional woman could be someone dressed to attend a formal reception or dinner with her husband and your picture of a nontraditional women could very easily be that very same tradiitonal woman dressed for a fun night out with the girls. Women in both categories can enjoy cooking and want to have kids and quite frankly who really enjoys cleaning? And I've seen some of the most feminine and dainty Southern belles curse up a storm when the situation calls for it.

If your definition of the traditional women is basically the idealized 1950's housewife, then I guess I would prefer the non-tradional woman who wants it all, kids AND a rewarding career and might go skydiving or kayaking some weekends and might stay home baking other weekends. But as I've said, I find these generalizations in 2020 fairly meaningless.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm definitely a modern woman. Would never even think of describing myself as traditional, but in this case, I fit in the middle of what you've described. I'm some people's nightmare, some people's heaven. I'm most definitely better suited to men who are non-traditional with a sprinkle of "I want to get married and maybe have a kid."

I'll describe:

I think I'm a fairly even balance of what society defines as masculine and feminine. I appear very "feminine" because I dress way closer to the first picture than the second picture. I'm nurturing, very affectionate, and try my best to be empathetic. I want to get married and have a life partner and be super obnoxiously cute and committed to each other. (though I do not think marriage is something everyone needs to want). I am not traditional, as I believe in having a career for myself and I am a feminist. I don't need to curse every five seconds, but I can definitely have a potty mouth. Time and place. I like to travel and explore new places and meet different kinds of people. As a modern woman, I dunno how much I "take things day by day." Modern women have career goals and ambitions. We may not be super obsessed with marriage and being homemakers, but there's definitely a lot of advance planning and strategy to this shit, at least for many of us. Getting that next promotion or buying property require budgeting, planning, etc. So not sure what "take things day by day" is supposed to mean.

I don't party much, never have, but I'm stepping out of my shell more these days to just have more experiences, enjoy bars more and such. But I don't drink much (never get drunk), dont do drugs, don't smoke, etc. I wear lots of skirts and dresses, but I do love pants too. Really into fashion and beauty things, but I'm also an excessively logical and analytical thinker (this is what makes me seem "cold" or "masculine" to some people.) Definitively labeled an intellectual. I love discussing pretty heavy things like politics, philosophy, etc. I'm argumentative, but not in a crazy pointless way, just like, "let me break down my logic of why I think the way I do and where my evidence comes from... and then break your logic down and challenge you too." Atheist. I am trying to be less guarded and more vulnerable with men. And girl/gay gang is everything to me.

I'm a "girly" nerd and modern career woman who wants a hubby, basically. Maybe a kid as well, but I'm not 100% sure about that one. Would love to raise a child, but would have to be with the right kind of guy to be a true partner. I don't want to sacrifice my entire life and take on most of the child rearing and be miserable. No to traditional gender roles, yes to supporting each other and being a team. Money would need to be in the right place as well. Retirement is expensive. I was against marriage when I was younger, for political reasons, but I've changed my mind on what I want in the last few years. But if I don't get married or have kids, that doesn't define me, my happiness, or my life's purpose.

MzAsh · Accepted Answer

I prefer to be untraditional but other women can do what they want and I don’t mind either way.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

I mean, I want to say that I incline more towards the traditional woman, but I do like a woman who is traditional in some ways and nontraditional in other ways. Also, I wouldn’t want my woman to constantly be cleaning, as those chemicals don’t seem to be good for health. For cleaning, we can and should split that between us. Now, for cooking, if my wife is actually a skilled cook and baker then perhaps she should do the cooking, or I poison the family lol. I’m kidding, obviously I can cook but I’m no cook or baker. I don’t really like women speaking in vulgar language, although it’s not a huge turn off. I can’t say why I’m just off put by women who use vulgar language, but I am.

Jjpayne · Answer

I'd say a dash of both. I feel that life naturally moves towards certain goals and i think that's important, to pass on your legacy for example. But within those goals is room for non traditional. The guy can cook and the girl can not know how to cook. The guy likes to dress up and the girl does not dress up at all. No boxes required. Marriage and children don't have to be seen as death sentences but natural and healthy life goals. Given, people are not required to but it's nice to have goals for your life and then you define your gender and life around them. Have a punk rock and roll wedding or a men's baby shower. Mess things up and change them up

ShortCircuit · Answer

I prefer (your description of) "traditional" over (your description of) "nontraditional". However, there are some ways in which I would like my partner to be less "traditional", such as:
- not wanting kids
- dressing modestly, but modernly and stylishly (I don't like the 50s aesthetic)
- having interests, such as anime and video games, that seem to be considered "masculine" despite nothing about them being inherently "masculine"
- liking my long hair
- having a career, though not one that necessarily needs to pay as well as mine

hellacray · Answer

I'm pretty sure most if not all guys wants a traditional woman. I mean if she can have a career and do the housework and be a mother too that's super.

However I'm pretty sure guys don't want a girl that only thinks about themselves. In fact I think that's how a lot of guys get screwed. She's a woman she doesn't have to stick with one guy and she can party as much as she wants...

And in today's society I think the majority of women prefer to be independent. I think it's pretty clear when you see the amount of women joining the workforce or even starting their own businesses.

But... They want it all... Cause then they also want a man that's a provider along with their own list of requirements.

Yeah no... I mean if you make more money than me you should be approaching me and asking me out for a date. But nope doesn't work like that.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say neither is really my clear preference. I voted non-traditional because I'm not a very traditional person and I don't put much value into doing things just because they are "tradition." So I don't think I would have a very good relationship with someone who is very traditional.

That being said, I like some things about more traditional women. I like women who wear dresses and skirts, I like women who can cook, etc. But I also like some things about non-traditional women, so you know.

Dongtai · Answer

It’s hard to answer this directly since I desire traits from both categories while not liking some in both categories.

I don’t like women who are submissive or overly concerned about what people think about them to the point of those people having a huge influence over their actions and choices. I want to marry and start a family with a woman who intellectually independent.

I don’t think the type of woman I’m looking for can be categorized with a label other than her name. She might love children but hate baking. She might not be good with kids but still wants to be a mother. I want a woman who’s simply and shamelessly herself. Someone who can’t be defined

John_Doesnt · Answer

In today's world of extreme feminism I prefer traditional. I know that if I went for a "non-traditional" I'd get stuck with a pixie cut and septum ring girl like what happened to the lovely Katy Perry. Now she's ruined.
Non-traditional women are hot but I don't want the weird shlt they put men through.

Stoner710 · Answer

If kids are involved traditional if kids are not involved nontraditional I have no issue with women working

the main factor is kids. I do believe that one parent should stay home to take care of the kids especially until they go off to school and in which case somebody should definitely be there to pick them up and make sure they do their homework.

LovingLover · Answer

If you want stability, a happy long lasting relationship, it only makes sense... Women like to be rebellious just for spite sometimes, sometimes for fun,... depends to what she wants...…..

If she wants a feminine man (then she can be the main provider etc…..) ... no problem... I choose this for success in what I want... I personally want a masculine man...…… I feel attracted to that.

LeeFaulkner · Answer

That's a difficult question to answer, but thought provoking... If I had to choose, I'd lean towards the traditional. Not because of any male chauvinistic beliefs, but simply because... the description of what you meant as a "traditional woman" would complement my strengths and minimize my weaknesses more than a woman which you termed as a "non-traditional".
(By the way, I'm glad you Took the time to describe what you meant by "traditional" and "non-traditional" women. It's been my experience that certain words and phrases can mean different things from person to person and without taking the effort to clearly communicate what you mean, may cause some people to misunderstand what you're saying and become unintentionally offended and defensive with you. In my opinion, miscommunication and misunderstandings have caused countless pain and suffering for people since the dawn of time...

CubsterShura · Answer

I wouldn't call the woman in A traditional. Seems more like some fetishised Trad Femme image to me. I don't believe truly traditional women are so dolled up and preppy.

Anyway, personally I like a balance of both, and I care about what's right or wrong instead of thinking too hard about what people think of it... Like let it be pre-historic or post-modern who cares... As long as it feels right thing to do and it benefits me and my family, that's all that I care about.

Anonymous · Answer

I do not understand why it bothers a man so much when i go out to work. I did not educate myself and spend many years on university to become a housewife. I mean what is point of life, if I can't live my dreams. I prefere to work and provide and prefere a man like me. When we get kids, we both can have parental leave

walt0462 · Answer

I would prefer a blance between the two but if if i can only have the one non-traditional because they are usually the more flexible and probably could switch between the two choices easier then the traditional i have known the woman i dating for over 12 years only started dating fairly recently (3yrs) and she is definitely non-traditional is most regards but has traditional sense and discipline which kinda gives a perfect balanced of the two

AD240pCharlie · Answer

Well, I don't want her to be completely dependent on me. I like a woman who's kind, maternal, gentle and nurturing, and there is no better feeling than being able to feel protective over my partner and knowing that she feels comfortable letting her guard down and relying on me, but at the same time, I need to know that she would be fine if something happened to me or we just weren't able to be together.

abc3643 · Answer

"Traditional" is not traditional at all.
That's a snapshot of the culture in time when that was common.

Unfortunately, reality has forced an evolution of the culture so now most women work and don't have time to bake or cook ornate meals. And, with the frustration of the real world, an expletive or two is currently warranted or even expected. THAT's the CURRENT "Traditional" woman.

PinkGraffiti · Answer

I like being a balance of both. I like taking care of my man, but I do it because I want to make him happy. However, doesn’t mean I’ll put up with their shit either. You got earn respect to get respect. You honor me, I’ll honor you.

Anonymous · Answer

Definitely more traditional. I have no interest in a "modern woman". They are really just not women at all in the sense that they do not meet the needs men look for in a woman (beyond sex).

Sensmind · Answer

I think I would gel better with a non traditional woman - I don't use it in a negative sense but the traditional woman may be a bit "Old Fashioned" for me - Her choice and the choice of any suitors she has, I don't judge - If it works and they are happy, great for them

Adam1978 · Answer

I must say non-traditional because I the traditional woman wouldn't work with todays relationship demands. I could think she is beautiful and a really pleasant person. But she isn't a kitten she wouldn't just be happy existing and would want more but her life topics would bore me so I would end up making them as short as possible while solving the reason for them. That does not sound like a relationship that would last for most women.

Timino · Answer

Both are good personally I love cooking and I work in the culinary field, I love the thought of marriage but I think it should come later and not be forced feelings. You should feel attached and care before you even think about marriage, also living day to day with eachother can make the love grow and can be very fun.

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