Why don't most black women like nerdy black men, and get mad when we date/marry outside our race?

First off: Neither am I a sellout nor do I not like black women. I've been accused of being a sellout because I "act/talk white" & play outside my stereotypes. I've been accused of not liking black women because I lean more towards women who love me for who I am; women outside my race. Lastly, this is not a definitive statement of all black women. I do acknowledge that not all black women are like this, despite the attitude my personal experiences bring.

One common argument is: we aim too high when choosing our women. For me, I'm open-minded enough to not categorize women in attractiveness nor ugliness. Because of so, I've had numerous experiences with black women from different walks of life. One pattern I notice: black women say they 'want to find a man who's smart and doesn't act ghetto,' yet they always fall for that type. This is not a matter of being the 'nice guy,' but rather not exhibiting my stereotypes. Those who don't fall for that type, they have an interest for guys outside their race. Not that it's a problem. Anyone can love outside their race. The problem is the double standards: Black women are treated differently when they date/marry outside their race compared to black men. We are accused of hating & turning down all the good black women. Who do we have to turn down if they contradict what they say they like? Some are not even interested in black men. Why be mad at us when most black women we've come across don't even like us? Why we have to choose to constantly be rejected by one group of women?

I do want to find and marry a black woman, preferably a nerdy one. This not only correlates with my mother's and family's dream, but also mine as well. But these double standards and contradictions to what black women want is an unsolvable labyrinth to even being understanding. Do I need to change my looks and personality in order to be loved by black women? Because at this point, I'm highly considering it.
Why don't most black women like nerdy black men, and get mad when we date/marry outside our race?
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