Reasons for NOT being Facebook official?

[Anonymous]

I have a huge crush on my coworker and he has a girl apparently but they aren't Facebook official and he COMPLETELY acts like he likes me and I hate it. He does things to get my attention, in the parking lot today he was sitting in his car and just watching me, his friend has told mine that he thinks I'm really pretty and he smiles every time he sees me and he asks when I'm working. I am not the type of girl who thinks guys like her easily but HE DOES have a girl. and they aren't Facebook official. What reasons are there to not be Facebook official?

Usually the guy doesn't want to be official

Some couples just don't label things, even if they are serious

Sometimes there's other reasons like college is coming up, etc.

Updates

+1 y

i didn't mean to set this question up like Facebook is everything I just mean why wouldn't you label yourself as boyfriend/girlfriend?

Updates

+1 y

Once again, I'm not saying Facebook IS LIFE and I'm tired of getting comments that say so. Its just an example of how to tell what someones relationship status is without being nosey and asking for details... aka why wouldn't you officially be in a relationship?

[sarahh_12]

I'm with a guy right now and we've gotten really serious, I don't want a label though and he's completely okay with that. He can call me his girl and everything and I can call him mine, there's just no "girlfriend-boyfriend." Labels tend to add stress for one, people get all weird; for two, he lives in another city which makes it even more complicated; and for three, our close friends know about us, that's it, there's no need for the world to know everything. I'm the kind of person that likes my privacy, everyone just budding in on it just makes it seem less intimate. Also, he's a person, he can call you pretty without greater intentions, I'm not saying this is the case but it's a possibility; I would just go along like you know nothing, because really you don't. It's possible that he might be curious about you, but if he has a girl, in any way shape or form, he likes her more than he likes you because he's with her. Do you know what I mean? He's not worth the time either if he is with this girl and is trying to lead you on, that's plain mean.

I hope this helps you out!

Much Love.

[aly-marie]

Are you sure she has a Facebook too? Not everyone does. And many people hardly even use theirs, so it's not always up to date. When I've encountered situations like that, those are usually the reasons.

You can choose to believe everyone else who's saying that their relationship is their own business, etc., but I think that's silly. It's not like the whole word knows when you put it on Facebook - that's what privacy settings are for. It sounds like they care way too much about privacy when they put it that way. It's your relationship, it's a big part of your life, it's not some dirty secret you should keep to yourself.

Anyway, those are the only reasons I can think of. You can bring it up to him if you're comfortable enough with him, if he acts sketchy about it then you should probably forget about him, he's just playing games. Or even ask his friends how serious it is, sometimes they end up being more honest :p

[snoopy13]

Well first of all the whole world does not need to know your relationship status. That is you personal matter. But if you did feel like pronouncing your love to the world, things get a little dicey when for example you want to break up or something. Because once you indicate on Facebook that you broke up everyone is like "oh what happened?" and "aww I'm sorry" or "oh we need to talk" all very publicly, and for me that's just annoying. Even just taking the relationship status down makes people suspicious. Not only that, but having the relationship status up leads other people to make certain conclusions which may not actually reflect what's going on in the relationship. I don't know for me it's not necessary and can eventually be an annoyance.

[appotamos92]

He's insecure, if he's doing this stuff and if he was dating u he would follow the same pattern when he "has" you and feel free to meet his needs from another exciting validator of his sexuality. Some people are private about Facebook and dont use it.. those ones u really can't tell much from... but in my experience most people use it daily just for a little.. for the ones who use it often.. and dont change their relationship status or profile pictures or even refuse to at least agree to be tagged in a photo w their "other" are in a platonic relationship and aren't madly in love. He either likes the game you two or playing, because he doesn't get stimulated by his girlfriend like he used to or he's a terrible selfish person, both are bad. *women tend to freak when they read comments like this, but it's the truth. If you love someone u want the world to know.*

[ZenSpace]

Facebooks "relationship" status bar is stupid. People's relationships do not fit into easy categories. I just leave it on "Its complicated" and leave it at that. I do not like the feeling that everyone is watching me to see when I am going to change my status from "single" to "in a relationship"

I am sick of not having any privacy!

[Dylan1989]

Some people just prefer to keep their business to themselves instead of publicising it. If I was in a relationship I wouldn't publicise it either because I don't want the whole world gettig involved in my personal life. Also, even if a guy has a girl there is still the chance that he still wants attention from other women. The only reasons I can think of from your story as to why someone would not want to be Facebook official are:

1) He doesn't want to make his private life public and chooses to keep his business to himself.

2) He doesn't want other people to know he has a girlfriend so he can still have his own fun with other girls and hopefully those other girls won't find out he has a girlfriend.

[jcmrq]

3) All of the above ( that's me ;-) )

[bayern]

ok well labeling is one thing but what's their status? if it's anything but single, then they've made it official.

as for not labeling yourself officially and individually...once upon a time, publicly reporting the most intimate and routine details about yourself and your life was considered deeply disconcerting instead of routine. :)

[Asker]

All I know is he refered to her as his girl, but on Facebook it doesn't say he's "in a relationship" and he makes conversation with me as if he's trying to get to know me like he wants it to go somewhere that's what threw me off

[bayern]

is his status visible at all?

look, bottom line, you already know he's in a relationship. There's a million reasons it might not be posted. At your age maybe one of their parents monitors their FB or something. We can't know for sure.

So he wants to get to know you. Get to know him if you want to; I think you do. It's not like they're married. And then, while getting to know him, ask him about it point blank.

[peace-love-couture]

I am a naturally private person; there are certain aspects of a relationship I will not share with friends and family. I believe a relationship is for me and my partner; it's our own intimate relationship and FB exploits the relationship.

I have no problem saying "I have a boyfriend/gf" but I feel no need to advertise it on FB. A secure couple feels no need to.

Facebook official is a ridiculous concept created by people who live through FB

[peace-love-couture]

You are making it about life by assuming that is how a couple becomes official. If you're basing whether a relationship is official or not by FB then I don't know what to tell you

[lv4lv]

Agreeing with Toban's:

"Don't you also love how she only has a "Usually the guy doesn't want to be official" but no "Usually the girl doesn't want to be official" as if that never happens. Not sexist at all."

Besides that, not everyone has a Facebook.

[Asker]

Oh dear god shutup

[missannabee]

Maybe some people don't feel the need for every aspect of their life to be public. I wouldn't want my relationship status on Facebook. If someone was curious about me and who I was dating, then they can ask me; if they're not close enough to me to ask, then they don't need to know.

[ChelseaBSB]

Sometimes couples chose to keep their love lives secret in case something happens. Then everyone's in their business questioning them and all that and they probably want to prevent that. I've known a couple who dated off and on 10 times and were constantly changing their Facebook statuses and it drove everyone crazy. Sometimes it's just best to not even go there and risk everyone getting all up in your business about break-ups and what not.

[Anonymous]

Maybe his relationship with his girl is not that serious.. Or maybe she doesn't even know about that FB account. Guys are really smart! But we are too! ahhaahahha My Boyfriend doesn't have not even one girl on his FB hahahaha But on his messenger has a ton! I don't think he knows that I know! I don't care tho, I trust him, if he lies to me, he is only lying to himself! By the way you say he flirts w u.. I don't think he is into his girl like that, it seems like he likes you but also looks like you have found a player! Be careful.

[Asker]

Yeah Its weird though because his personality is SO shy that I don't think he's a player at all and he gets really nervous like he doesn't know what to talk about so I don't think he gets a lot of girls which makes me think he would actually like the one girl he has. But the way he acts toward me doesn't make senes either

[Opinion Owner]

mmm... Try and talk to him. Be his "friend" and find out. That what I would do;o) I am not shy so I wouldn't care going up to him and saying; "Hey, how are you? " or some s*** like that! hahah

[Asker]

Yeah were friendly but I don't want to ask him about her because we were talking about prom and he said his "girl" didn't want to go. And I was caught so off guard that I got really awkward and couldn't talk and after that I'm too scared to ever talk or hear about her again ya know?

[Anonymous]

Is his relationship status hidden or does it just say single and is there photos of him and his girl up?

If he has a girlfriend,I think you should back off..Find someone who is single,if you were with him,then you wouldn't like the thought of another girl trying to take your spot.

And if his status is hidden,seems like he has something to hide,so girls automatically think he's single.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

He might not really use Facebook much or she doesn't, who knows. If he's with someone, leave it be. I know you know that, but ya. I mean, look at it this way, he's obviously not faithful to her, he wouldn't be to you :\

[Little-Hippie]

My Facebook doesn't have a relationship status at all.

So whether I'm single, in a relationship, or Marrying the Princess of Wales, the rest of Facebook can go f*** themselves. That's my business.

[minx101d]

Facebook should have a "it's none of anybodies business" status. I would so chose that no matter what my situation.

[rory520]

Face book can complicate things. Like once I accidentally went from in a relationship to single and a bunch of my friends liked it...My boyfriend was pissed! So after that neither of us have a status.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for years and we don't have it set to say we're dating nor do we have pics of each other on our pages. It's a personal page not a couples page. That's just my opinion.

[emzy-89]

some couples are actually mature and don't really need to advertise to the 5000000 people that they've ever met that they're in a relationship. it's only Facebook afterall.

[ladsin]

haha umm yeah I just don't ever change it even when I'm dating someone it still says single I've never heard a girl bring it up so I guess its OK =P

[rotarymoon]

I wouldn't do it because I do not want the whole wide world to know that we are dating.

[likewoahhh]

why ?

[Mr-Blob]

because he thinks she is ugly, and he is going to be ashamed

[rotarymoon]

No, just because I would like to keep the most personal things in my life private. Whoever needs to know would know but a website like Facebook and the morons on it definitely do not need to know who my loved ones are.

Either way I think its useless for you to speculate like this. People are different. If you want a definite answer just go ask him. Start the conversation with did you guys break up? and when he says we are still together but I took it off Facebook simply ask why?

[saphirasilverwings]

A lot of people just don't post certain personal things online.

[saphirasilverwings]

But there is a big difference between not posting a relationship status at all, and actually saying you are single when you're not.

[mormollio]

Why do you need Facebook to consummate your relationship? You don't have to label everything.

[Shaun]

Facebook isn't real life.

[Asker]

Yeah obviously but I'm just saying like why wouldn't you be considered in a realtionship?

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Don't you also love how she only has a "Usually the guy doesn't want to be official" but no "Usually the girl doesn't want to be official" as if that never happens. Not sexist at all.

[Asker]

Calm dowm usually it is the guy, sometimes its the girl but if you really feel its the girl who doesn't want to be then that's what comments are for... to say that's what you think it is

[InMyHeart]

Facebook doesn't make something official.