Do you agree telling someone to "just have confidence," is dumb, since confidence is not going to come form thin air?

[Steven8000]

I can't stand when people say that. When doesn't have confidence is for a reason. For example, I don't have confidence for different types of reasons. One reason is because my whole life, people have said I can't do anything right, I'm stupid, made fun of me, etc. Including my family. Top it off I have been bullied in grade school, college, at work, etc. You can't expect me to just have confidence when so many people have treated me like shit. It is the same with other people with low confidence.

Updates

+1 y

Correction:from, not form

[224466881010]

Yeah it's a bit of a "non-advice" situation.

I'd prefer something like "it's ok to make mistakes. Try it even though you're scared"
Or
"Treat it as an experiment"
Or
"Just send it"/ "yolo"

Life is a lot more fun that way.

You'll also notice with successive attempts at scary stuff that you'll learn a lot and have less anxiety. It becomes a virtuous cycle.

[ChiPaPa]

Yup. Like the other garbage sayings in relationships, such as "there's someone out there for everyone"

[Steven8000]

I was talking about when people say just have confidence when it comes to all type of topics. I listed for example when people have told me my whole life, I can't do anything right, etc. It is dumb too though, when people say things like you said.

[Steven8000]

Like"what you said."

[SofiSin667]

Okay, so you can go ahead and stay stuck in the past. The choice is yours.

[Steven8000]

It is not the past if it still happens. And to tell someone to just have confidence when they have been treated like shit their whole lives is easier said than done. For example, I can tell you to be confident you will run a marathon, and that would be silly to you. It is good for people to be confident but it doesn't come out of thin air.