What is “Toxic Masculinity”?

Question

I see the term used a lot around here but I’m not entirely sure what it means. Is it just another nonsense feminist term used to crap on men or is it a genuine problem in society and if so how should men really behave in this day and age?

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

Masculinity and femininity are complimentary. If Masculinity is toxic, then femininity is also toxic. Feminists will not say it directly, but they believe it. Why? They believe that being submissive to a man is equal to being a slave, and that doing nice things for your husband makes you weak. You cannot say it's not true, because it's out there. Just go and twitter and you will quickly find out.

Anyway, I digress. See, my point is that feminists do not believe in gender roles, so it makes sense to them that the Masculinity-femininity gender dynamic is flawed, which begs the question: if feminists believe masculinity is toxic, why do they act so masculine? In order to understand this, let's take a step back. What is masculinity? Well, basic traits include but are not limited to: being assertive, stoic, competitive and demanding respect. When men are assertive, they are called out for "mansplaining". When they are stoic, they are called out for "holding emotions". When they are competitive, they are shamed for it. I think you understand the point. You will find out that those same feminists ARE assertive, they ARE competitive and try to be dominant over men. By their definition, isn't that "toxic masculinity"? If basic traits of masculinity are toxic, that means you believe that fundamental state of being masculine is toxic by definition, so why take part in it as a woman? That defeats the point.

On the other hand, they promote feminine characteristics to men so they can lower their guard. They would say stuff like "it's OK to cry and show emotion", or "you can identify however you want" or "embrace your feminine side". You get the point. This programming happens a lot nowadays, and trust that I would know about it because I had a feminist English teacher in high school 🙄

Finally, I want to say this: feminists have waged a war on masculinity, so I wouldn't be surprised they would use such terms. If you want to win the war, you first have to win the battles, which it seems like they have. The social programming in schools and media is widespread. If we are to go back to the norm, we have to correct misinformation about what it is to be masculine, and why it's no "toxic".

Oigit · Accepted Answer

Here is an example. I was kidnapped and molested as a kid. Since it happened early enough I had not devloped any mental and emotional skills. Due to those skills developing over many years, I wound up not having mental or emotional skills for most of my life so far. This left me a mental mess because everything else that happened in my life that required those skills to deal with simply started stacking on top. I got to a point where numbing myself with alcohol or drugs was a good idea. Or killing myself. Because going through therapy did mean working through everything did lead to some break downs and crying. But if I wanted to be a Alpha Male I had to forgo the therapy and wind up dying of a raging addiction or killing myself.

Funny thing about that though I came out of therapy more of a Alpha then the majority of men that claim to be. Because a big part of the therapy was bringing everything up and more or less living through it again on a mental and emotional level. To the point where a person go through the same therapy has serious issues sleeping during it. Because you get to experience the event over again when you try to sleep. The majority of Alpha types would be dying of a overdose or jumping off a building if they had to experience one night of the crap I was dreaming about. You idiots better be glad the people like me are not Freddy Krueger because I'd be visiting all of you in your dreams.

spuitkaas · Accepted Answer

It's behaviour that harms themselves, people around them and society as a whole caused by outdated gender norms for men. These include stoicism, social dominant and rejection of anything feminine.
Behaviour includes not expressing vulnerability, misogyny, homophobia, aggression and overcompetitiveness.
It becomes extra toxic when men hold these gender norms up as well for other men. Telling them to man-up, encouraging aggression to others to establish dominance and ridicule any feminine quality of others.
So are all male gender norms toxic? I personally don't like binary gender norms at all, because it perpetuates the idea that acting one way is inherently "feminine" or "masculine". Expression of masculinity and feminity are for every individual different, especially condemning others for not complying to an individuals idea of expressing feminity or masculinity.
I do recognize though that many people have a need to belong to a group of their gender and want to express belonging by acting in "masculine" ways. Masculine gender norms that aren't as toxic are devotion to work, pride in excelling at sports, and providing for one's family. However taken to the extreme and pressing others in that gender role is still toxic.

Subarugirl · Accepted Answer

The three core components of toxic masculinity are:
Antifeminity – this is an idea that real men reject anything feminine, including showing emotions or asking for help.

Toughness – this is a flawed belief that one needs to be emotionally unavailable, physically strong, and aggressive to be accepted as a man.

Power – it is often assumed that a real man should be powerful or g high societal standing to gain respect from others.

Toxic masculinity refers to common hegemonic masculinity traits that include mental and physical toughness, emotional insensitivity, aggression, heterosexism, or discrimination against people who are transgender, stoicism or not displaying emotion, self-sufficiency, and no help-seeking.

Overemphasis on these masculine ideals can cause a harmful imbalance in men trying to live up to these traits. Some men and masculinities imbalances include aggression, entitlement, sexual aggression or control, chauvinism, and sexism, showing no emotion or suppressing emotions, hyper-competitiveness, need to dominate or control others, an inclination towards violence, or glorification of violence, isolation, and lack of socialization skills, and low empathy.

Medicalbug · Answer

Toxic masculinity/femininity: when gender norms create peer pressure that prevents human beings from being who they are and what they want to be.
Each has their own stereotypes and pitfalls but it all amounts to the same feelings of superiority, inadequacy, anger or confusion arising that then pose difficulties during social or societal interactions.
Masculine example: As a man you are head of the household. Be dominant and aggressive in everything you do, and don’t show feelings.
Feminine example: As a woman you have to be dainty, polite and subservient to men. Be gentle and emotional and always pretty.
I am female but I am neither of the two - I have my own set of strengths and weaknesses, as do many others. It is, however, not uncommon for people to feel that such definitions resonate with them. Some people even identify with the opposite assigned to their gender. Others feel these qualities more or less on a gradient - the more extreme cases often being more vocal about enforcing these concepts in others.
Ultimately, none of it is toxic per se - it only becomes toxic when it hurts people. Typical victims are men who feel they aren’t man enough because they can’t be the breadwinner. Alternately, we have women who hate themselves because they don’t believe they are pretty enough. There are also combinations of toxic masculinity and femininity. A classic case is the woman expecting a man to rescue her suddenly finding herself in abusive relationships with men who turn to violence to assert dominance at home because they are unable to work through problems and feelings of inadequacy.

Cassie_94 · Answer

We need to hear more about Toxic Femininity? 🤷🏼‍♀️ There are masculine traits that are desirable, but some that are not 👎 and there are feminine traits that are desirable, but some that are not 👎 so it just appears to me, as a woman, that some women and ‘hardened feminists’ just like to - often hypocritically and with double standards - whinge, bitch and complain about men! 🙄 It’s pathetic really. If you want to highlight and talk about ‘toxic masculinity’, then be willing to bring ‘toxic femininity’ to the table also - both should be addressed if you’re rational, objective and fair.

Anonymous · Answer

Not very good at describing or defining things but I can tell you that lots of the men on this app definitely have it. The more triggered they are by this, the more so. FYI, I am not a modern feminist by any means, I actually care about both genders, just hear me out. There is toxicity everywhere, whether you like it or not, you can’t throw the word feminazi onto a term that actually exists just because you don’t like it like half these comments. There are tons of feminazi terms out there but this is not one of them. Men who have to reassure themselves and verbally state that they’re an alpha are typically what I think of with that term. ESPECIALLY men who make fun of other men for not being “man enough”. Men are humans, they have feelings. They’re allowed to express them and cry and what not. To shame one for having emotion is stupid. Why do you think male suicide rates are at an all time high? Having emotions, taking care of your hygiene and liking certain things don’t make you any less of a man. And those who think otherwise are a prime example of: toxic masculinity. Toxic feminity is a thing too but that’s a whole other topic that we can get into some other time.

Anonymous · Answer

It's the dumbest thing I have ever heard. It's a statement as to say that there are negative components in a positive trait like masculinity. All of these negative components are not found on a masculine person because they involve the lack or impulse control which you wouldn't expect to see in a mature person.

It's nothing but a feminist strawman of what masculinity is. It's designed to make masculinity look bad but at the same time trying to say that this isn't the case as they struggle to name a single positive masculine trait that is unique to men It's only the "negative ones"

What's worse is that I'm pretty sure this is an actual psychological term now in the APA guidelines, I'm no psychologist but I'm pretty sure they must follow that no matter how bullshit it is. Even if it doesn't make men or masculinity look bad, it tries to bad a one-size-fits-all solution to everything which isn't how this works. You can't just ascribe any problem that a man might seek help for with this because it doesn't help, it needs to be considered in an individual basis.

Then you'd get interactions like this with your therapist: "what's that? Your wife died? And you want to not let her death affect you because you feel that she would want you live your best life no matter what happens? Well according to my book here, you are *actually* holding it all in because you think emotions are girly and therefore you must hate women. Sounds like you got some toxic masculinity going there bud" expect you're going to get it to you as some flowery corporate speak.

All of this, and they wonder why men aren't bothering to seek help, this would only make it worse.

Heartache0405 · Answer

Its something feminists came up with to
attempt to expose negative male gender norms in an attempt to help men yet it is instead causing society to view men negatively. This is what you get when women try to fix something 🤷🏻‍♂️ a whole gender is demonized by society

rockytherock · Answer

No its not a bs term. Feminists saw how men were telling other men to 'Be a man' and to not cry and dumb shit like that. Pretty much pushes the 'You can't be raped by a woman' bs and makes men think anything remotely feminine or emotion based is weak or lesser.

SnakeBoop · Answer

It's idealogies tat harm people basically. Such as how men "can't get raped", how men "can't " be abused, and how men are not allowed to show emotions as that's the "women's " characteristic

JessicaEarl · Answer

My dad always says that masculinity isn’t about how much you can take from others, it’s about how you can give. Simple as that. Toxic masculinity is about taking and receiving. Getting ego boosts by bullying other guys and being disrespectful to women. A real man will find ways to give and serve those in his life

SAMI_DABBAB · Answer

İt's when you punch someone super hard and laugh at him for expressing pain.

İt's making fun of someone's reaction to a dramatic moment.

İt's insulting someone in cold blooded fashion and making fun of them for taking it personally.

İt's just a general consensus that a man is supposed to have much thicker skin and colder reactions to anything in life just because "man up lol"

MCheetah · Answer

Feminists whining about masculinity and wanting men to be effeminate soy boys. Any "bad" behavior men may display can be seen doubly in women, who are more common to backstab and betray each other. Being an asshole isn't gendered and "toxic masculinity" isn't a real thing. It's a sh*tty term feminists invented to shame men; big surprise.

jshm2 · Answer

To be honest it's one of those terms that has different meanings in different groups - just like "feminist" doesn't mean the same thing across all groups.

Anything being called "toxic" you can always assume is subjective and seen only from a behavioural angle. In the case of "TM" it's male behaviours that are seen as overbearing or misogynist.

Adam1978 · Answer

It's a nonsense word used for anything men do they don't feel like they should do at that moment. So anything can be toxic masculinity because there is always someone that can find an angle or context when the behavior is unwanted. It's basically toxic feminism favorite word to project their issues on to men rather than accept the consequences of their actions.

NopeWhatTime · Answer

I consider it to be the concept, often passed down by men, that men (or people of any gender) shouldn't show their emotions (ideas like "men don't cry", "suck it up and be a man" or "take it like a man", "man up", etc). Hiding your feelings/emotions/preferences causes many problems, which makes it a toxic trait. Basically encouraging other men to not be human is what it means

ZackBan · Answer

Just some radical leftist SJW propaganda way to turn men into sissies.

It started as something to refer to a guy who abuses women or doesn't consider them equal which was fine.
But now any masculinity is toxic masculinity and it's nothing short of disgusting.

ohshee · Answer

I'm not really for sure what it it consist of but I can tell you the other day I saw some lady running down the street naked with a strap-on on chasing her boyfriend screaming at him at the top of her lungs I wanted to stick around to see if she would catch up with him but her boobs were going up and down and her strap-on was going up and down she was hauling ass he misses you something awful bad oh my God LMAO

ilovesunnydays · Answer

I personally try to avoid all these movements. I've been on feminism side, I've been on anti feminism side. Its exhausting and sometimes upsetting to see how toxic men and women can be. For me its only one mantra, treat on the basis of how they treat me and secondly merit. I dont care much about gender. Men can be goldiggers, women can be physically abusive. So, there's my two cents, forget gender, just observe how they treat you and secondly their merit.

worldscolide · Answer

The major issue I have with it, its very often used it shame men for liking traditionally masculine things. It's also used to shame men into being more like women.. Both are just incredibly stupid.

Additionally if toxic masculinity exists, so must toxic femininity..

Miristheiss · Answer

Some made up, BS term feminists came up with to vilify being a man.  All rational people just ignore idiotic stuff like this and go on with their lives. l

notwoke · Answer

100% feminist nonsense. It's not a thing other than a way for feminists to try to disarm men so they don't constantly see their own inferiority. It's this idea that all men really want to be an emotional mess, when actually we mostly don't have the need.

Anonymous · Answer

It basically the idea that men are supposed to be men. We aren’t supposed to cry, we aren’t supposed to show weakness, etc. A lot of men take it as insult to the male population. It’s actually designed to help men break free from the shackles of toxic gender roles.

FalconTakanashi · Answer

Examples
Men being looked down upon for crying or having feelings
Male virginity being frowned upon
Rape laws not including female perpetrators and only just including male victims
The overall belief that women can't rape men
84 men a week committing suicide
Memes like Forever Alone and Virgin vs Chad
The existence of Incels, Nice Guys, MGTOWs and NEETs
Men being called names like "simp" and "beta" for not being misogynistic dickheads

AdithyaR · Answer

It's this set of toxic expectations that men are held to in order for them to be considered "real men".
Concepts like, "men don't cry, men can't wear pink". Pretty much anytime a man is restricted from expressing themselves because "a real man doesn't do that" that's toxic masculinity.

Anonymous · Answer

There's toxic behavior, and there's masculine behavior. So-called toxic masculinity is an attempt to intertwine the two. Nothing about masculinity is toxic, and toxic behaviors are definitely not masculine, but you have to understand the two terms to know the difference.

Djmbbasgerd · Answer

They want us to all be flamboyant girlie faggots, fuck your shit... You think I'm gonna act like a fairy boy girl jus cos you said ok toxicly masculine? you really think using this term will make men wanna be less masculine? Newsflash, men will still be masculine, you ain't gonna change nothing by calling masculinity toxic hahah, and I pity any man who acts more girly just because of this new term

MJtheCoach · Answer

Illuminati! And taking loving men power away. So the state can rollout material law. Aka C0ViD and no one wants I’ll push back. Of course you’re too stupid to learn from history.

As a feminist you should move to North Korea. Tons of work for you there.

OddBeMe · Answer

It’s the traditional ideas of masculinity that cause more harm than good. Like keeping emotions buried to not seem like a “fag”. Men getting so angered when they lose their job as the main breadwinner they kill their whole families than live with the shame.

Shit like that.

awkward_author · Answer

Toxic masculinity is basically the idea that men cannot show emotions if we want to be "real men." We're not allowed to show any traits society considers feminine either. We're expected to "man up" and only exhibit masculine traits at all times.

jerdanro · Answer

It's a term that takes the misbehavior of some men and applies it to manhood and all men, there by widening the decide between the sexes. It allows some women to feel they are victims and makes many men feel that the idea of masculinity itself is being attacked. In some cases it is.

BlackD1ckk95 · Answer

The word Toxic is used by weak pussies who hate on us for being masculine.

Society will try to shame you for being a man. I Embrace every part of My Masculinity. And enjoy everything that comes with it.

fonduegirl · Answer

That all men need to be dominant. If not, they'd be doormats.

globetrotter22 · Answer

I don’t want to hear a fucking word about “toxic masculinity” until you admit that toxic FEMININITY is major problem too. Everything is so one way with you so called “equal rights” feminists.

Desconhecida · Answer

Toxic masculinity is one of the many idiot feminist ideas.

AncientWisdom · Answer

It’s a feminist phrase used to shame men into being docile. While feminists usurp the role. Toxic masculinity is under 6ft tall with tits and a vagina.

goaded · Answer

The term was invented by men's rights organisations, referring to society's expectations of how men "should" behave. Fix it yourself, don't complain, don't ask for help when you're in trouble, that sort of thing.

Berethor · Answer

Radfems tend to see all white male masculinity as toxic masculinity. :)

Seligal · Answer

When an ugly man compliments, or on top of a girl = toxic masculinity  when a girl takes off a very handsome man/chad = toxic masculinity  When a man rates a woman as unattractive = toxic masculinity

genericname85 · Answer

it's another one of those terms made up by sjws and feminazis to deconsturuct masculinty and throw as much shit at men as possible for some fucking reason.

InYourHead · Answer

It's just another way to demonize and feminize men.

extraanon · Answer

Toxic masculinity is FUCKING real, stop saying it isn't. All you people suck at making fun of weak individuals male or female just because all of you think you can gain something out of it! Your parents must be ashamed of you motherfuckers!

joeldalton · Answer

A made up term by feminists to attempt to shame men.

MrTaboo · Answer

Weak insecure men that want to fight and beat women and children. Feminists hate true masculinity. Men that protect, provide, kind, caring, loving,

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

It is used a lot by feminazis because the same reason why gag fags use the term feminazi just because women dont agree with them.

Kinkysportguy · Answer

It's just another way to crap on men, they want to in control at the same time want men to take the lead. Crap on men and want men to ask them out.

UdontNeedtoknow · Answer

its what feminist say when they feel insecure and frustrated. Honestly there is more toxic femininity then masculinity if either really exist in the first place.

ODC2112 · Answer

Toxic masculinity is the normal masculinity seen by misandric lesbians. In another way, it is the projection of what they do not accept of themselves onto males.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Take a look at your modern feminist female, that's what Toxic Masculinity looks like.

Citizenkirk · Answer

Adolf Hitler, Mussolini, Attila, Caligula, those kinds of guys

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

I don't know, all I know tho is that it's not my problem

Not_Average · Answer

Bullshit is what it is lol. Masculinity is not toxic.

Dargil · Answer

It doesn't exist. It's called being a male. If you don't like me, stay away from me.

certifiedalphafemale · Answer

Toxic masculinity and femininity are real. It’s important to just stay genuine regardless of what society tells us.

007kingifrit · Answer

its just a bigoted femnazi term for "immature". seriously there is no situation where you can use the term toxic masculinity where immature would not be less aggressive and bigoted

Mediterraneansoul · Answer

It's a term invented by toxic feminists to make themselves feel better for being toxic to begin with. It's easier to point the finger at the opposite sex

humpbackjack · Answer

I don’t know but that’s gonna be the name of my rob zombie tribute band “TOXIC MASCULINITY”

Cowboy6666 · Answer

Its for men who are controlling, violent and very abusive to the GFs, or wives.

Ryfyle · Answer

Clearly some folks can't handle the awesome and have never seen a real man. This "Toxic Masculinity" is the Masculinity everybody secretly desires.

Anonymous · Answer

Feminists themselves are the most prolific examples of the behaviors they refer to as toxic masculinity. What does that tell you about your question?

Anonymous · Answer

It's an attack on men, the eventual aim of feminists is to get into powerful positions so they can greenlight a genocide on all men

noohair · Answer

It is an attack on men. Every guy is unique and should not he tarred with a label.

What is “Toxic Masculinity”?

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What is toxic feminity and masculinity?

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