Does a baby in your life change your perspective?

[lightbulb27]

We just had a new baby in the family... not mine. It's something to see after all the time, a little person looking at you with innocent eyes, looking around trying to make sense of it all.

Kinda... resets the thinking.
Slows things down a bit
Remember back to when life was so innocent, fresh and new

It does/it would

I don't change

Other

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh, you bet it does!!! Not only does it change your perspective, it makes you appreciate all that you have and have been given.

When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I took it surprisingly in stride. To be sure, I was a little worried about what kind of a dad I would be and there were all sorts of practical considerations. However, in general, I was not surprised - my girlfriend and I had been having unprotected sex for a while - but I knew that I had the resources to take care of a baby and I sort surprised myself. I was happy, but it was not some big revelation.

Then came the day my son was born. Suddenly I had this little person in my arms and I was looking down at my girlfriend who had gone through so much to give me this beautiful little gift. The most beautiful gift a woman could ever give to a man. I remember looking down at my son and thinking, "My god, I don't even know you and yet I would give my life to protect you." The tears started to run down my cheeks.

It was, without doubt - along with the two other children my girlfriend and I had later and also when I found out that I had a son from a previous relationship - the happiest day of my life. Suddenly all I cared about was taking care of my girlfriend and our baby. Protecting them and caring for them and letting them know that I would always be there for them.

My work is pretty serious. I am in politics and it is a very consuming profession, so to speak. Yet nothing, absolutely nothing, means as much to ma or absorbs as much of my energy and my mind and my heart than my girlfriend and the little gifts she gave me.

It also, ironically, cause me to lighten up a bit too. My girlfriend says that I am the biggest milksop of a dad you will ever meet. She jokes that I have the kids right where they want me.

Also, I should also add that I got a girl I was dating just after college pregnant. She aborted our baby without telling me. To this day I cannot tell you how much pain that causes me. I failed. I should have protected my baby and I failed and I never got to know him or her and it still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.

Even as I write this it is hard to put into words. When I tuck them in at night all I can think of is how much I love them and that I would do anything for them. When they want a hug, it is if they were giving me a wonderful gift. I love them so much and it has made me a better a man. A whole man who thinks about the future not as some theoretical abstraction, but a real thing that I have to make better ---- for them.

Sorry, to babble on, but your question just brought this all to mind. So yup. it changes your perspective and - at least in my case - has made me a better man,

[lightbulb27]

interesting story, glad it brought forth your feelings.
did you marry her... I'm surprised she's emotionally content not married and all the security aspects would be in place to have peace.
Sorry to hear she didn't tell you and discuss, these are life decisions... hopefully others out here read and learn the lessons.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks and thanks for the "thumbs up."

No, just to be clear, I live with my girlfriend and our three children. We love each other deeply but, although we are otherwise pretty traditional, we just did not like the idea of getting married. We felt like an expensive ring, a big ceremony and all the rest would somehow cheapen what we have, so we have lived together for about 12 years now.

As to the mother of my oldest, we never were married. It really was a one night stand and she never contacted me until about two years ago when she decided that our son needed to know his father. So she somehow managed to track me down and, long story short, introduced me to my son.

He does not live with me, but we have him over on weekends and for a few weeks during the summer. As to the mother of my child, we are getting to know each other, but she just never felt the need to contact me, let alone marry me.

[lightbulb27]

im glad for the kids you are open to being an engaging father. you are very improtant to their emotional well being and development, especially those girls self esteem, but as well your son. the expanded nuclear family can work for the kids when they see the adults respect each other and and are real, and address the issues openly... to their level.
my wife has an x and thus I see this, with my step kids, so I have some context. keeping unity and like an expanded family, kids are really happy and successful. they adapt.
we also didn't like idea of big expenses but I came to conclusion there are some things to work through like security. financial questions, what if something happens to a parent, show of commitment, etc.. we just got married at home and it's good. each case their own. your fortunate to have kids, I messed that up and don't, but it's way it goes.
thanks for sharing.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the kind compliment. (Oh, by the way, it is two boys and one girl with my girlfriend. Plus one boy with the gal I had the one night stand with. Plus, as I mentioned, I got a gal I was dating just out of college pregnant, and she had an abortion. It pains me to this day.)

Anyhow, yes, I am a lucky man. As to being an "engaging father," as my girlfriend says, I am the biggest milksop of a dad that she has ever seen. That tells me something.

Anyhow, great chatting and best to you.

[lightbulb27]

Yes agree, good chat! The good part of social media!:)

[exitseven]

After I had my first baby I was scared to death. I was afraid that life as we knew it was over and everything was going to be different. After a few days it was different but it was better. Kids were a lot of work but now that they are all grown up I am glad we had them.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[ShadowMonarch]

Even though I should not be answering this question...
I have always thought about babies as they change out whole life... you get new goals on life to achieve and as they grow they become you legacy and that feeling could be nostalgic

[ShadowMonarch]

My typo changed the whole narrav6