That's really hard to say! I think often there are people who are only lind because they think it'll get them something or avoid negative things, but then when it doesn't go how they want enough times over the years, they start gettong bitter because there was no reward for being good. I wouldn't say these people were ever really nice to begin with... more manipulative than anything.
I'd like to think I've always been genujnely nice and still am. But years of rejection by the girls I like is making me bitter, and I hate it because I now wonder if I've actually been a piece of shit this entire time. But I've never expected anything from being nice my whole life. I literally always did it put of empathy--because I know how awful people can be from first-hand experience, and I never want to hurt other people for no reason, especially on purpose or out of selfishness.
I'm inclined to say to that there are 2 kinds if bitter people--one kind only truly ever cared about itself, while the other kind just got hurt too many times while caring for others and is exhausted.
No. Angry/bitter people the people who didn't truly give selflessly and/or couldn't enforce personal boundaries; they gave too much of themselves and expected reciprocity but they didn't get it. I learned this about myself the hard way.
I was helping with a homeless aid charity one time, and I found myself become extremely angry with a woman we were helping because I felt that she wasn't showing the appropriate level of gratitude. I had to take a step back and majorly check myself. I'm glad I did because I learned that the essence of generosity is to know what you can give without putting yourself in a position of vulernability, to freely give that amount, and know how to say "no" when you can't give anymore.
Bitter people haven't figured out how to not self-pity, and how to forgive, or forget, and move on. They tend to think that their experiences were worse than everyone else's, and there's just no way that's true.
Bitterness might be ok if it is directed at one, or just a few, who are deserving of it. But a lot of people aim that bitterness at the entire rest of the world, and that's not right or just.
“Anger can be useful. Watch out for the bitterness.”
- Jack Nicholson's character, in "How Do You Know."
I second that with few additional points There's always a reason behind it and they are not always bitter to everyone it's the constant situations they end up in, makes them bitter.
Example. A perfect employee can become a bitter person if he has a nagging boss.
Yes there's certainly always a cause. And also the number of times one experiences these bad things, hugely factors in. Then there's anger management, resiliency, bad luck, etc.
It's unlikely there's such a thing as a perfect employee (or perfect anything), but yeah, I get the gist. If people aren't appreciated and it feels like nothing they ever do is good enough (you see this with parents, partners, etc. too), then they'll eventually just want to stop trying altogether. And then they've just killed that person's goodwill and spirit. Sad.
Not really always. Angry people and bitter people maybe raised up that way.
However I do believe the quote that all villains are broken hero. Their heart was broken. And over here I don't mean anger or bitterness, I mean cold personality. Quite cold, those who are kind of anti social and all.
When you are heart broken once you either have the most beautiful heart later or the most cold one. That's what I believe. It will change the whole personality. Anger and bitterness are just factors or attitude.
Actually that might be true, because the girl I'm currently talking to has serious anger issues, but she's literally the kindest more genuine and caring person I've met in this town. She's always been really nice to me. I've noticed that a lot of these people are just tired of being taken advantage of/bullied. I'm the kind of person who can see through the bullshit to the good in someone, and she's always been really nice to me, which is all that matters to me. Like I never would have guessed she has anger issues.
Kindness doesn’t go away just because it’s taken advantage of by a few people. Truly kind people could never leave someone to suffer even if it cost them greatly to help them. They wouldn’t try and cause suffering on others… But everyone has a breathing point.
It’s true that emotions all tend to have close bonds with another. For instance love and hate are polar opposites but are tied together. You can love someone so much a betrayal from them turns love to hate. The easiest way to hate is to have loved.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
It’s very possible. Over the years I treated women w a lot of respect. Now I’m just like shut the phuk up. Stop who ing about your equality. You have more rights than men do. I work in the medical field. You have to be somewhat caring to work in that field. I’m just to the point of like shit the phuk up you keep crying about stupid little things. I find myself wanting to be left alone, I could live in the woods on my own w my dog. Away from a lot of idiots. I try to look at the best of things, but everyday you just see stupid sh*t after stupid sh*t.
Yes, its the nice guy concept... someone is too nice and gets taken advantage of a lot and eventually they stop being nice and become jerks, mean and bitter.
This is why people should not be too nice and not take advantage of those that are. Often people don't think they are, but they are and those that definitely know they are shouldn't do it. They are destroying a person forever.
"Nice Guys" are guys who were always jerks and angry, but pretend (and still pretend) to be nice. They are wolves in sheep's clothing; typically male feminists and soyboys.
The guys this question is talking about are the ones who had bad relationships, nasty divorces, or been abused by women their whole life. Imagine if Depp and Heard married at 18 and had their big court trial at 26. If a guy had been with someone like Amber Heard, they'd probably not trust women anymore either. At least up until the trial; only then did women start turning on Heard.
If they get taken advantage of enough times it will eventually jade them. As it would jade any one
I was that “nice guy” who dealt with more friéndzone bs than I like to admit when I was younger. I am still a kind soul but I got strong radar for friendzone bs nowadays. If I sense it I will call it out that bs quick and move on and not look back.
Although I’ve wised to this crap over the years its still depressing when women try to pull it though. In the early stages of dating I have to determine if a female is just “testing” me (which is temporary) vs. trying to take advantage of me (which is permanent). I have found myself feeling infuriated at grown ass women (who are 30 and older) who should know better about this crap.
Ironically I usually do better be being my nice guy self with younger women in their 20s. They expect older guys to be gentlemen so it isn’t a turn off to them when I’m nice to them.
False some people are just born envious of others and become bitter cause they always want to have what the other person have but cannot and they get bitter and angry.
When a man cannot get a girlfriend he become jealous, envious of others guys and then go hating on women and attractive men cause and become bitter later in life.
@KostasKouvalis Yes, it's not everyone obviously but there's a tons of people like that especially in France. When I worked on my homework a guy literally told me to stop working so hard cause me having perfect grade and him only having like a "B" was making him and the other student look dumb.
And also if you go out wearing designer or brand clothing people are going to be jealous of you and talk being your back.
That's fucking stupid. That's his fault that he's lazy and has a learning disability. With me, it just made people want to cheat off of me. But living here for 30 years, I've noticed that Americans love to see others fail. This Irish girl said she was surprised how much Americans congratulate eachother, and to a certain extent they do, but in reality, Americans love to see you hit rock bottom, because it makes them feel better about themselves, when they are more successful than you.
That sounds about right. With me, they've always been jealous of my travels.
I will admit though, I'm guilty of the behavior you mentioned in the second paragraph. Like I feel I shouldn't have to change to conform to their ridiculous standards.
@KostasKouvalis Yes but he was also extremely pretentious and arrogant like he told me he had to redouble a year (not sure how to say this in English in a correct ways I only found this) because he was immature, like come on nobody redouble a year for this reasons. He also liked to say he knew tons of Japanese words, I always told him off cause he was bothering me (irony of the situation we always sat next to each other because his name followed mine and in France teacher make us sit next to the person who our name follow (like if you name begin by a B you 'll sat next to a person who's name begin by a B it's annoying). So I was stuck all year with his annoying pretentious assholes.
He also though it was cool being lazy and getting average grade (but that's just a things in France, working to get good grade is seen as a bad / lame things but not doing everything is seen as a great and cool things (if you have good grade you're cool if not you're a fun person). But hard worker is seen as being extremely bad (only great if you let them copy on you which I did cause like that they let me copy on them n subject I was bad at). So win win situation. They're similar to French then, French also love seeing people suffer more or as much as them it make them feel good but if you're better off they'e jealous and take advantage of you and justify it by the fact that you're rich.
You critics people for wearing designer clothing? Honestly people do what they want, it doesn't affect you what they wear, do with their money so I don't really see the point in talking about them badly
Yeah, and how's that your fault? He was just stupid. Lol. He sounds like a lot of American people. Really? That's fucking stupid, though I wouldn't mind sitting next to you. ^_^
Really?😂 I didn't know the French were like this. Yeah. I've done that too. Cheating is normal here. That's basically how it is here. And Polish people are jealous of Polish living abroad. But my own cousin bought a fancy watch then got angry and threw it in the drawer, when his neighbor got the same one. I used to like and respect European people, but I've really started to dislike them because of shit like this.
No. Well, sometimes I'll laugh at them. Not to their face. But no, I was talking about dating. I don't hate women in general, but I'm not a fan of American women and I get very bitter and vengeful if I can't get a girl I want. Especially if she humiliates me.
Like there is a girl I'm talking to at work. She told me about stuff she's done with other male coworkers, then she said one from her old department asked her to "hang out". I got so angry, I wanted to find the guys and smash their faces in. I get jealous and angry when a girl I like does stuff with other people, especially guys, that she won't do with me. Like I want her to like ME most.
Sometimes I'll look at men's bodies even though I'm straight and I'll be like, "Damn. THAT'S what girls like? I wish I could have a body like him, or get a girl like that with MY body/personality.
I've gotten a little better at controlling it, but I still get very jealous when a girl I like gives someone else more attention, even another girl. And I don't even care if she's already taken. When I want something I want it, and when I can't get it, I get very angry.
@KostasKouvalis Yes, he was stupid and lazy ass hell Yes that would be great if we sited next to each other, we could have great conversation when the class would have gone boring XD Cheating on text is normal here too, we do it often. Why would he get angry at that seriously, this sound like a joke this dude XD Everything is not bad, there's still some good European people. And personally I don't think I would be able to live in a city others than an European one truly, there's too many advantage here when I compare Europe to the world;
Best things is to just ignore her, it's bad for your health to get angry, you shouldn't put your health at risk for some dumb people. After humiliating other is never a great things I don't get why some people would do this. It seem like she want to riled you up or something, quite toxic behavior.
if a guy I find cute don't like me I'm just gonna ignore him and find another one XD It's like you don't like me ok then you're not worth my time assholes, I'm just gonna find someone more attractive XD But it's so extremely rare for me to get a crush on someone.
I agree. Yes and bribery. I don't know, my cousin on my dad's side is a weird dude. I don't know if I've ever met such a snobby/selfish person. Europe certainly has its advantages, and I'm sure if I grew up there I would fit in. And yeah, not all Europeans are bad, but I've noticed a lot of them think they're better than Americans. A lot of European people are also more introverted.
No, it's not like that at all. She didn't do it intentionally. That's just how I've always been. I just sense that she doesn't want the same thing I want, which I don't get, because we're so close and she seemed to genuinely care about me and enjoy talking to me. Like no one in real life texts or calls me first, she does. And she asked me to call her. I visited her at work and we ended up talking for 2 hours, and twice we texted for almost the entire shift. You can't tell mr me someone who does that, doesn't enjoy talking to me. But I'd like to have more than just a "work friend" and I sense she doesn't want that. I also feel when she moves or I get a new position, it won't matter as much to her if we don't talk anymore as it will to me. Although before it seemed different. Though there's no way in hell she doesn't enjoy talking to me. I just feel there's something she isn't telling me. She's moving after a month anyways. And really, I kind of just like her as a really close friend. She seems different and I don't want her to disappoint me, but if she does I won't cry over it, because I'm used to it. But she's like the first girl I've talked to like this in real life. Maybe I should have a serious talk with her. I've told this girl stuff I've never told anyone, at least in real life. But there is always that worry.
Yeah, usually the weird/gross girls like me and the girls I like usually don't like me back in that way, though in their defense, a lot of them were taken.
I genuinely did like you for a long time, and I think part of me still kind of does. I would be lying if I said I don't often think about you in a romantic way.☺
It my be true for some people. They start out as kind and generous, but after getting screwed over by enough assholes, they get bitter. I'm the opposite case, started out as angry and bitter, but became kind and generous later. Hardly anything bothers me now.
That’s foolishness. What it means is they got tired of pretending that they are Something that they are not. That’s the thing…know Thyself and walk with Jesus the Christ and this 💩 can be avoided.
It’s a hardened heart and if you want to see how that works out read about the plagues, Moses, and Pharaoh in Exodus When one pretends into Reality…the outcome is a hardened heart. Often, this kind of thing really starts to show 38-48 years old.-At least in workplace 🤷🏻♂️
Maybe. All people start off as kids, and kids are pretty chill if taught right. Then, life gets to them and were not taught how to deal with it by their parents, get bitter and resentful.
Also, some personalities are just more vengeful than others.
That said, being bitter is a choice. Some people need to learn to let go of yester-year and look toward tomorrow-year.
I can't speak for all people like that, but it's definitely true for me. I'm just tired of being taken advantage of, surrounded by assholes and idiots, and seeing humanity gradually get worse and worse by their own doing.
Not necessarily, sure some kind people get beat down but I'm sure some are just entitle butthurt people didn't get what they wanted and feel that they needed to be rewarded for being nice, which isn't actually a nice petson.
No I've had friends were mean right when I met them since 1st grade
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
It’s possible and expected. Kind people get tired of ungrateful hating people too and at some point when they realize how the world is, they become bitter and angry with their realization.
They're typically the ones that were putting on airs of being kind and nice. Those who are actually kind and nice generally can't change into angry and bitter people.
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