Are you afraid of the things you can't control in your own life?

Question

I was watching a podcast with Tulsi Gabbard and Tucker Carlson, and it was mainly about people who think they can control the world and "be god" and the people who admit that they can't. And it was kinda deep to me, because while I think people never stop and think in these terms, that this is true for a lot of people, including myself.

My whole life, I've tried to control my own destiny and fate. I was supposed to be 6'5" and be able to have any partner I want and have my own ideal family. But I'm not, and I can't. And sometimes, honestly, that lack of power and control scares me in life. Like, I am not in control of my own life. Think about it. Isn't that scary? I'll never be 6'5". I'll never have another partner in life, because of it. I'll never have a relationship or share love with a woman, or have a family. It's kinda scary when you think about what you can't control in your life.

But people never think about this. Unless maybe they're highly religious. People can't control their own life or destiny, and they spend much of their life thinking they can. No. All we really can do it, try our best. And if it's meant to be, it'll happen. But sometimes, it's just not meant to be.

One of the deepest things Ive ever read and its from Star Trek TNG. — One of the deepest things I've ever read and it's from Star Trek TNG.

Sh*t like this keeps me up at night. The unfairness of life. Knowing I can never have what I most desire, no matter how much I want it, or how badly I try. No matter what I do, it can never be. What is the meaning of such a life, then? What's the point? I'll never be tall or have the social respect, strength, and power that comes with it. I'll never have another partner. Love. Family. A legacy to pass down. What's the point of it all? I do know religious people "submit to God" and all. But I'm not religious.

Maybe I'm rambling. I probably am. I dunno. But I haven't asked anything in a while on here, and my notifications are empty. What do you think?

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL IN YOUR OWN LIFE?

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

What is this fixation on height? don't answer that... throw it out...

Maybe a little. My latest fear is that I lose my wife and my life then would be... like a shattered vase, I don't know if I could pick it up again nor want to. I don't have control. I recognize it's just another outcropping of fear related to being alone and so I observe it... I have a very imaginative mind. I pray that away, I appreciate the life I have with her. Reality is... the city she goes into daily is dangerous, but nothing bad has ever happened to us. I put it in God's hands.

I learned from riding dirt bikes and bicycles... you gotta relax and let it flow. Tighter you hold, the rougher the ride is, if not becomming dangerous. Just as easy to never ride... control is a subtle thing... to guide, but it sure is fun to ride... just relax and breathe!!!

I just read a book (How emotions are made) that in essence says..."we create our reality"... it's how our brains work, we project the world from inside.

Getting a perspective, frame of reference would totally change your life... be in in diet, belief, thinking, and such. Belief... IS what is limiting us. Holding the existing beliefs is just a facade to protect from some other emotions that frankly, don't want to be felt again, were hard to process at the time... and so they lie their "Dormant"... controlling. They protect from being hurt again, when in fact, it's preventing you from living the next round of your life. That... is the control... it's internal.

Unresolved sadness, is I think, one of the greatest influences on humanity. Joy, is the way out... and that... IS Christ!.. or maybe Buddah...

I just saw this story as well... it struck me... that is the most amazing of thoughts that this dog waited for 10 years for it's owner, whom never showed up because they died. Dedication. Makes me sad for I know animals, but in a way, that is humanity... for it is so hard to let go of of the patterns and expectations we come to expect.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hachik%C5%8D

"let go and let God" take you to new places... When you make space for change, change will invite you, and a new world begins for you.

Guaranteed...

The_Shadow_Dweller · Accepted Answer

I am anxious. Is it the same thing as afraid?

I expect many things that matter to me to be near perfect. But it is not always the case. That is a problem for sure. And it bothers me a lot. The tendency to be near perfect may be from my critical parents. My mom says what she says should be taken in positive light. But her structure of sentences is quite negative. It is quite troublesome to get what she actually means.

I will follow the podcast. This question is really amazing.

TenderFantasy · Accepted Answer

In my life, I've seen 4'10' Mexican women who were married with children, so it is definitely not the height thing that should've keep you from having that family you've always wanted. Even now, there's still time. Either by artificial means or adoption, etc.  Being religious doesn't change anything. Maybe make someone feel better somewhat, but yeah.. Ask my mom who's been religious all her life, yet has had a bought of breast cancer, thyroid problems etc. ... Also, why are the poorest countries often the most religious? The terrorists of the Muslim countries? ? ! They are usually motivated by religion! With that said though, I think they take religion in the wrong way/wrong fashion. I believe in a higher power, but there are definitely a lot of things I don't understand about it, and I am not going to give up asking as long as I'm alive! I don't always go to church, but I do believe we didn't just exist spontaneously. I also don't agree with being punished (innocent people), for the sins of Adam and Eve either.  You are probably just being anxious. It's fine. I do it at times too. I've learned to just try to control what I CAN control. I cannot control other people's actions, the written law of the land (I am not above it, though I really wish I was, because, it's not like I'd use that power for evil anyway), or the weather, etc. There are lots of things I cannot control, but just like other people, they've learned to make do with the cards they're dealt!  Good luck online friend.

DubiousIntentions · Accepted Answer

The way I look at it is, that in your life, you either have control or you don't, such as eating healthy meals or paying taxes. So either you CAN do something about your situations, or you CAN'T. If you CAN, then you don't need to whine about it and, as Nike used to say, "Just Do It!" If you CAN'T do anything, then there is no use whining about that either, as it is beyond your control. Then the phrase is "Grin and bear it." So no point of being afraid because the outcome is inevitable whether in your control or not.

BlueScorpio · Answer

No, cause God is in control and He us in control of my life/Destiny. I put my faith and trust in Him to leas my down the right path and honestly I can I've had a pretty wonderful life. I may complain about stuff, but God has truly blessed me. He gave me a loving home, family, I have roof over my head, a job etc. So in the end God has always looked out for me. I understand the feature sees bleak to a lot of people especially with everything going on in the world right now, it's easy to get distracted. Cause we're always hearing about some type of disaster or corruption going on in the world and with people but you can't let that hold you back or hold you down.

You don't have to be worried about your destiny/future cause God already told you what His plans where for you:

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Everything might not go our way, ut there is one thing you can control and that's having a relationship with God/Jesus.

sage2021 · Answer

Yes, and as I get older and America 🇺🇸 has changed to where I don't even recognize it I am even more afraid.

You are lucky you don't live in America anymore. Now that would be something to complain about!

I am afraid everyday about what's going to happen to me. I've been that way my whole life. I didn't grow up with my father. He abandoned us when I was four years old. So I have had to look out for myself. All of my friends growing up had a Dad. So I had to figure out how to get my car fixed with hardly any money. My friends had their Dad do it for them. I could go on and on.
As an aside & even now my school friends that had a father are all doing financially well into their late 60's and beyond. I still have the same stress I have always had. 😔

exitseven · Answer

I would not say I am afraid of them. We are brought up to realize that we cannot control everything. I had a friend who is a wellness coach and she told me that depression can be caused by being out of the loop of control of your life Getting back some control will help with depression This is why everything is on meds today. Instead of working towards finding some things in our lives that we can control we find it easier to take a pill

I actually tried to figure out what was bothering me and took steps to make it better. It really did help with depression and then covid came and screwed it all up

RangerBlue22 · Answer

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

You can’t change your height or body type. I can’t change some of my bad past decisions or what people (particularly women) did to me in the past. I also can’t change the fact I turned 40 last year. I also made a very bad financial decision earlier this year Worst one of my life and I am deep in debt. But I am improving slowly and have to take ownership of what I did .

I can change me my work attitude, how I budget, how I treat my body, how I interact with women, how I interact with people in general, etc.

LazerBean · Answer

No. in my opinion there are very few things in life that we cannot control to some degree, based on how strong ones willpower and willingness to accept responsibility for their circumstances are. Being proactive is key, but the problem occurs when you have a reactive person who is convinced that they are proactive.

Fuentes · Answer

Lol nobody controls their fate but the man upstairs you don't gotta believe it and I don't judge others who don't but because of God I am where I am today. I could give a fuck about the theatricals we all to old to be dwelling about what could've shoulda woulda been or done.

There a G saying you hear other rappers been saying and run from. my neighborhood I grew up around it's "I AM WHAT I AM, AND WHAT IM NOT ILL NEVER BE"

A_Bell · Answer

No. I have a habit of not thinking about things that might upset me.

annabananna · Answer

There’s a few thing I can’t control that can be scary.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

No. You’ll only get scared if you see the consequences of them happening if you could hypothetically change them

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I am not afraid. I am just frustrated.

McKellar · Answer

I'm not gonna lie, yeah I am.

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

24/7

Are you afraid of the things you can't control in your own life?

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