Being autistic, I have a question for you normal people! Give me your perspective?

[Juxtapose]

How is indirect communication superior to direct communication unless you have something to hide?

I had somebody mention to me that omitting details or telling half-truths is a part of everyday conversation. How can you people go through life with a clean conscience lying to each other all the time and how can you trust people when you yourself are not trustworthy?

With direct communication that ignores cultural norms, we can become more logical and understand each other better.

[hahahmm]

"How can you people go through life with a clean conscience lying to each other all the time and how can you trust people when you yourself are not trustworthy?"

Everyone doesn't have the same personality/character/self-control. Imagine if you were in the Olympics competing in some sport. Would you bet your life that none of the competitors are taking illegal performance enhancement drugs? Or that none of them did any of that in the last 6 months to get in better shape?

I wouldn't try to do what 'normal' people do... or average people? No, the average person today isn't a good role model, even if we only look at their public life and ignore their private life. Imagine if you lived in a place where everyone was dirt poor. Would your goal be to become more successful or to be average? There's advantages to not following the crowd.

If one wishes to be a traditional man he leans heavily on being direct. But there are social situations where diplomacy is required. You have the option of NOT speaking. Just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean you have to talk about the topic they want to talk about. Just pretend they asked you a question that they have zero right to ask you.

My guess is that the REASON why most people lie is because it's easy. They formed the habit by being lazy and self-centered. To not lie would require you to believe that life & the meaning of existence isn't all about yourself, in my opinion.

[Juxtapose]

Exactly, there is more to life and existence than ourselves and we should only lie when authorities are trying to oppress us with unjust laws or the like.

[BungusHighFivePizza]

Actually I have same Q when I'm so drunk. Maybe being drunk is like being autistic!

But I tend to sober up and I figure it's a matter of optimization.

Suppose I have a colleague at work who I don't like. I just find her overall unpleasant. But she walks into the office with a new haircut which I think looks horrible, and she asks everyone, including me, how it looks.

Now as much as I dislike her, I don't want to see her hurt. I got the whole empathy thing where I tend to suffer even to see my enemies suffer. It might be a flaw of some sort but I just don't like seeing people and other animals sad. So I have even selfish reasons to avoid making them sad.

But also I have to interact with her everyday. If she hates me, that's gonna add to my daily stress. I should avoid making her hate me given that we have to work together.

So I go for half-truth saying, "Your hair really matches your personality [which I think is horrible, but I omit that detail]." Now I got a sort of balance of saying what I really think but also not upsetting her. Then she says, "Aww! Thank you so much!"

So that's what I usually do to try to optimize this situation.

[Juxtapose]

Just tell her you don't want to answer the question.

[JustMeL120]

When comunicating with others we have to be open to the idea tgat are freedom stops where the freedom of the other person begins. What seems like a lye to you could be the truth for another person for example you could think someone is ugly but that person could think she is the prettyest. We have to apricate that other people are entitle to there own views of what they choose to belive is acceptable and base our actions and word on this.

[Juxtapose]

My words do not hurt other people's freedoms at all.

[JustMeL120]

That not what i said

[Lliam]

Lying is always wrong. Half truths are often a form of lying or manipulation.
But, in some cases, if brutal honesty would hurt someone's feelings, there are ways to avoid lying while still avoiding hurting them.

Omitting details can be unavoidable. Sometimes it is just a way to avoid a long, drawn out debate.

Conversation gets confusing. Sometimes people don't listen carefully. Or they argue about one thing that you said and wind up going off on an unrelated tangent instead of trying to understand your overall point.

The problem is, one can only express one idea at a time when talking. I might have lots of different perspectives on an issue. But when I express one thought, people assume that it's my only opinion on that issue. And I'll defend that opinion if someone just wants to argue, even if I can see many other sides of the issue.

Lastly, even in a relationship, no one is entitled to know everything about me or every one of my thoughts. I have no obligation to dig deep and reveal every single thing about my psyche as if I am undergoing psychological analysis. That's just too much to ask. And a person who thinks that is the definition of a relationship is too insecure for me to stay with. They are the type who want access to their partner's phone and computer. I wouldn't be with such an insecure and controlling person.
Although, if we trust each other completely, I am willing to answer and discuss any question she asks. I don't have anything to hide. I just hate snooping and prying.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'm not "normal" or "autistic", but I can answer this.

Brevity and privacy.

No one has the time to explain every detail about themselves to everyone they meet, nor do they want to. The only reason I go into such detail on any regular basis, is because I cannot find a compatible partner, and am forced to advertize myself and my needs to remedy that.

I do not however use culture either, I cherry pick things I like from multiple instead and prefer individualism.

[NYCQuestions1976]

There are times and situations in everyday life where most people don't want to hurt a person's feelings with unnecessary detail and information. I'm not suggesting that I agree with this philosophy (as I'm definitely not most people), but just pointing out the fact that it's generally part of everyday life.

[Juxtapose]

If I was ugly to somebody then I would not want them to lie to me about it for example.

[Part2603]

Sure. You sound like the leftist that thinks banning guns will result in a world where gun crime will disappear.

Instead consider that subtlety, nuance, and innuendo as weapons in an arms race. As long as one single person has it, then you need it too.

It would be great if all us men could convince the whole world to be direct, but that's never going to happen. Women are indirect. Politicians are indirect. Asians are indirect. So if you want to be able to have sway with people that have this type of communication strategy... actually it's more like as long as you don't want to be at a terrible disadvantage with these people, then you have to understand them and equip yourself with the tools to parse their behavior.

You don't have to imitate them, you just have to know what they mean.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

That person was not lying to you. That is the case.
Things is, just because I don't say everything that I am thinking, doesn't mean I don't like or respect that person.
No one is perfect. So I will not just voice any positive or negative opinion about someone that pops in my head.

[Juxtapose]

I was thinking specifically of a guy who advocated knowingly telling half-truths to twist what the other person ended up perceiving. That is pretty fucked up.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

If you meant that then I agree.

[RealMarek]

There is a difference between lying and neurotypical communication. Body language, subtlety, and implication come naturally and do not constitute an intentional omission of fact. In fact, they can convey a lot of information.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Read the 48 laws of power and the first 2 pages will give you the exact answer as well as why no one wants to tell you.

[Juxtapose]

That is a book that promotes behaviors of Machiavellian, amoral sociopaths. That is exactly the type of thing humans should be getting away from.

[Snakeyes7]

Direct communication is the best. I can't see why anyone thinks non-verbal communication is in anyway reliable, it's so easy to misread.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Who’s calling me normal? I’m as autistic as You! I think that speaking with words just gives us 7% or somewhere there of the information. Other forms of communication are tone, facial expressions, etc.

[pethouse]

I also got a little bit of autism so Ik how you feel

[jimmy2]

That's wrong communication must be clear And truthful

[Exterminatore]

I think direct communication is superior.

[OddBeMe]

Just my fyi, how do know you’re autistic?

[Juxtapose]

I was diagnosed at age 5 in the Boston's Children's Hospital (yes, THAT hospital). I saw several other specialists and I have my condition checked again as an adult and had it confirmed by the government and several medical professionals.

I also have A. D. D and dyslexia.

[Juxtapose]

*I have had my condition

[OddBeMe]

I don’t know that hospital. But I guess I see more and more people say they’re autistic. But I may be biased toward more serious cases as my brother is severally mentally disabled.

[Juxtapose]

Autism changed my entire life and I had severe difficulties socializing until my twenties. I had no friends except for family because I didn't know how to make them for example and I had to be taught things like how to maintain eye contact and for how long. None of that shit was intuitive to me.

[Juxtapose]

The only reason why I seem normal at all to you right now is because of a lot of hard work on my part.

[OddBeMe]

Fair enough and good for you.