In my almost 40 years of being alive, I have observed that a great majority of people are not only competitive (with finding a mate, a job), etc?

[Sweetsurprize]

they are also cruel with their discriminations, biases, etc.

How can I compete and what can I do? ? ! 😔

I know a lot of it has to do with dwindling resources and overpopulation, but if that is the case, then why don't most people STOP having children? ? !

[OddBeMe]

1. What problem are you having? No boyfriend? No job?
2. Research has shown the dumbest are having the most kids. Luckily that’s not hereditary.
3. The most successful people knew early enough what was lucrative for them, AND had the right contacts. They knew the right people. Go through the met gala’s roster and see who everyone’s father is.

[Sweetsurprize]

1. I have a boyfriend now /a lover. However, I met him late in life at 39. I thought I met Mr. Right at 31 but I was dead wrong. Then I took a years long break from dating all together to focuse on myself from 33 (when my last ex and I broke up) till like pretty much now. So from 2018 to about 2022, I didn't really have any good prospects of a good husband and father till now, 2023 at age 39. .. Funnily enough, he's my age.
2. Cool, I sure hope to god not, lol.
3. Thanks for that tid bit. Now I just have to figure out how to implement that stuff into my 39 years lol.

[OddBeMe]

Again find a skill you have that’s lucrative. Or turn a skill lucrative. I don’t see how this is the hard part. The hard part is making money.

[Sweetsurprize]

Also regarding your #2, employers these days are known to discriminate based on age. They usually like to hire the young, healthy so that they can work longer hours and basically work HARDER for little pay.

[OddBeMe]

He’s there is a catch 22. And I like hiring straight out of college. I find they’re more productive than aholes like me who’ve been in the industry forever.

I hate internships, because this is a capitalist country, but unfortunately it’s the only real answer to the catch 22. If you were to call up 10 agencies or offices in the industry you want to work for and ask to intern for free, I think you’d find one yes

And employers know not to hang interns out to dry. If they like you they’ll put you on the payroll fast. Again not fair but that’s life.

[abc3643]

It's one significant reason why I don't have children and I am old enough to be your father (had I gotten lucky in college).

[Sweetsurprize]

It seems like you regret not having had the chance to reproduce though., I hope that is not the case.. 🙂

[abc3643]

I have a strong biological imperative for that. However there are many reasons why I didn't have kids; somewhere mine, some more God's.

[abc3643]

some are mine, some are God's

[ohsheeT]

Well first of all stop competing there's no reason for that you need to be yourself

If you're competing for something you're in a whole different frame of mind. And as far as people having. Kids. I would bet you 85 out of 100 are accidents you can tell that just by the way kids are turning out in the last 10 years

Because if you really love somebody before you have a child you would stop and think where we're headed at as a world as a country and it doesn't look very good and I would not bring a child into this world knowing that something could happen to me and I could not take care of that child or my wife or girlfriend if something was bad to happen under that person that I need to protect them at all costs and depending on what goes on in this world you have to be ready you have to be prepared and when you have a child to look after that's a big responsibility and you have better have plan b c and d I would rather just have plan A and just wait this is easy for me to say because I have two beautiful children that are grown but if I was to get with somebody right now and they wanted to have a child I would have to say no I'm sorry just because or where we might head

[ohsheeT]

So what are you competing for anyway

[Sweetsurprize]

Your two beautiful children are also going to suffer the same fate as those that have yet to be born if you think about it. They have to compete with others in getting a job, a mate, housing, etc. unless you were rich or something.

I think maybe you are right in that those pregnancies were accidents. Are you speaking from personal experience maybe? Just asking.

I am older than you by one year. If I had children when you did, oh boy, I don't know what would have happend but I am glad some woman chose to get pregnant with your babies. That way you would have a legacy to bring into the future. I think that is what most people want including yourself considering you didn't use protection when engaging.

[Sweetsurprize]

And additionally I would say that you WON in the reproduction game. If your children end up getting married or at least having children themselves, you will be a grandpa and you and your partner's genes will continue to live on.

[ohsheeT]

No my kids went to college they both hated school but they both changed their mind my sons of fireman paramedic 6 ft 5 big buff smart man my bloodline ends with him he doesn't want to have kids his choice because he witness what his mother did to me

My is an RN he's not married she just had a baby last year I can't tell my kids what to do never have it never will they were raised to be leaders

And by the way just because I said what I said doesn't mean that I'm right I'm saying think about it it's your choice just like it's everybody else's choice and we were born we were all giving a gift and that gift is choice we make choices each and every day

If I was 21 you probably couldn't hold me back from having kids but I would think about it no I think you should do what you want to do that's that's what this likes all about is experiencing things and having my kids for the best experience in the world I wouldn't give it up for nothing

[ohsheeT]

My Daughter*

[Sweetsurprize]

You blood line continues with the baby your daughter just had. Why are you not counting that? Anyway.. yeah, wow, some people I guess were just born to want to have children regardless of the cost or consequence. Right on. You didn't let the expenses of society, unemployement, etc. stop you from having your babies with some willing woman!

[ohsheeT]

Well I was married at the time that I had my kids but got a divorce and then became a single parent so there's no such thing as unemployment you raise your kids to be better than you are and you do whatever it takes I didn't have much of a childhood and I moved out when I was 16 so I had to grow up fast and if you pay attention in the world on what's going on you learn how to communicate very quickly with your kids I never had to yell never spank them never hit them never need a handle them I used to get beat until I was black and blue and I always said there's a better way to do it and I found that better way I didn't really find it I already knew what it was and I knew that I would become to complete opposite

[Sweetsurprize]

1. Sorry for your divorce. That sucks. One of my ex-friend's dad (also divorced), said the only thing they had in common was sex and having chidren.
2. Wow that sucks you had to leave home so early. But in retrospect, at least you grew up fast and learned to sink or swim early! Which, since you are still alive and don't have a lot of major set backs (it seems at least from what I've read about you so far and what you've told me), you did a great job keeping afloat.
3. " I never had to yell never spank them never hit them never need a handle them" That's great. I don't agree with child abuse or neglect either. I mean, why people having children if they didn't have plans of raising them well into society. Never made sense to me.

[ohsheeT]

Yeah I watch many parents scream and yell at their kids instead of making it about their kids they're making it about themselves because their kid made them angry oh my God so they yell and scream and all they did is that kid didn't hear one thing except for when I want something I know how to get it now I yell and scream I act just like my parents it's ridiculous

[provokeesmokee]

Where do you live? Maybe it's cultural?

Where I live, most people don't give a fuck. And competitive people are often mocked for having fucked up priorities (unless it's about hockey, then they get competitive over shit they have no influence over, lol).

[Sweetsurprize]

U. S. A. More specifically CA.

[Berethor]

You should tell Africans to have less Children, in the West there is too few Children actually.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2e/Countriesbyfertilityrate.svg

[Sweetsurprize]

No offesne but how can that be accurate when children in Africa are always dying of HIV and AIDS related diseases or starvation from not enough food and multiple droughts ravaging their country. That's what protrayed on TV at least. It's a third world country vs a developed world. You should see a graph to where the children make it to reproductive age. THEN, I may believe this.

[Berethor]

That why there is not enough food in Africa, Blacks also kill each other a lot, everywhere.

www.ojp.gov/.../black-black-homicide-psychological-political-perspective

[jennifer_bloom]

Decent people follow rules when they compete, they build themselves up, they don’t tear others down.

[Sweetsurprize]

True, but what percentage of the population is that? And people are sneaky with their ways, trust me. I'd like to think that we live in an orderly society but I have seen PLENTY of sly, cunning examples of the opposite!

[Mynameisbobby]

Realize you're an individual and everyone's different.

[Sweetsurprize]

Well you're only 19 so what do you know lol.

[Mynameisbobby]

I know I'm sorry for giving my opinion. I'm 19 so my opinion doesn't matter?

[Iron_Man]

Many want a golden ticket and don’t want to put the work in

[Sweetsurprize]

I am willing to put in the work but people either won't hire me or give me a chance.

[Iron_Man]

I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it gets better for you.

[Sweetsurprize]

Yeah, it's really frustrating. I am not lazy (I do have some health issues --that were my fault, but I think I can manage them). I would like to succeed just like most everyone else, but yeah, I think it's the steep competition for a job/career/, mates, housing, etc. that is really doing people (me included) in!

[Iron_Man]

I hope you can do well and plug away at it and keep moving forward. I’ll pray for you.

[Sweetsurprize]

Thank you @Iron_Man. Besides those things though, I AM lucky to have supportive parents and a supportive boyfriend. I just met him this year and wow, I wish I had met him earlier. But oh well.

[Iron_Man]

Well, there you go, you have people that care for you lucky girl

[Anonymous]

I haven't seen much of that myself. 🤷‍♀️

[In_Trance]

Compete at what?

[Sweetsurprize]

Jobs, housing, mates, etc.

[Anonymous]

Another Pinay?