Why is it okay to joke about killing but people get offended when people joke about rape?

[Anonymous]

People say "I'll kill her" without meaning it all the time.

When someone says "I'll rape her" without meaning it, it's offensive

[provokeesmokee]

Usually people are pretty clearly joking or trying to posture when they say "I'll kill you". Generally it's also not said.

"I'll rape you" is a much more specific threat and most men who "joke" about this WILL rape. Hell, they probably think kissing someone unconscious isn't assault.

[Asker]

How do you know that most men who say this will rape

[provokeesmokee]

Because only really sick people joke about rape.

Most men don't want to rape and wouldn't joke like that. It's the default not to, so if a guy is comfortable joking about rape, his tolerance for it is higher than is safe.

[msc545]

I deal with "really sick" people all the time. None of them make raper jokes.

[Anonymous]

I don't think any of these are okay to say, maybe if there is funny enough mood there but saying that feels wrong and I would be probably scared if someone said that.

[OlderAndWiser]

Is saying "I'll kill her" really a joke? I've never heard anyone laugh at a comment like that.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've never heard a man "joke" about "I'll rape her." FFS who are you hanging out with?

[Asker]

I honestly think you're the privileged one. It's rare but not that rare

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've known hundreds of men in my life and none of them have ever made that joke.

[Asker]

How fortunate. My friends and I have known thousands and most of us have heard something like that, so maybe we just talk to more people

[BoopBoopBeep]

You should find a place with better men then.

[Asker]

Nice solution

[BoopBoopBeep]

I mean, I don't hang out with trash and then expect them to NOT be trashy. I like animals. If the people around me kept talking about torturing animals I wouldn't hang out with them any more. Nobody just sits in a coffee shop and "jokes" about who they're going to rape.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Look, @provokeesmokee is echoing the same sentiment. I'm not off in left field somewhere saying random ist.

[provokeesmokee]

@BoopBoopBeep No man, I'm not saying no men joke about rape.

You really have no clue how depraved many of your peers are, do you? Not to say you don't have enough friends, but if you've not witnessed this behaviour from other men in your life, you're willingly ignoring it.

Pay a bit closer attention and you'll notice a lot of small behaviours that give away predators and perverts in your group.

I don't think you hang out in enough public spaces if you've never overheard or witnessed men being predatory.

Your limited experience does not invalidate the experience of others.

Don't try to loop me into your naiveté.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@provokeesmokee I made a career out of hunting down depraved people actually. It wouldn't matter if I had a million friends that's still not something I'd be hearing all the time, because I don't hang out with shite people, and if they made rapey jokes they'd not be my friend any longer.

I'm certainly willing to pay attention, what ARE these "small behaviors" and I'll certainly be on the lookout.

Much of my last job was hanging out in public spaces. There are degrees of predatory. I've seen predatory, I didn't deny that, I've just never seen rape jokes.

Also, I'm not here to validate or invalidate anyone's experience. The objective reality of what they've been though is unmoved by my opinion on anything.

@msc545 Since my experience with deviants is "limited"... what has been YOUR experience on the matter?

[provokeesmokee]

Lmao, "I have hunted down these people"

/r/iamverybadass prime material

[BoopBoopBeep]

@provokeesmokee no thats my job, child

[provokeesmokee]

Lmao, uh huh, and I'm the Queen of England.

What do you do, patrol a mall? Lmao.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@provokeesmokee you got me... but it's a really BIG mall.

[provokeesmokee]

Hey, man, mall security can definitely be dangerous. Retail customers can be absolutely feral. Working various retail, there's never been a store that hasn't needed to call security or police.

I'm glad you don't see too many rapists, though.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@provokeesmokee It's three levels AND a food court.

No actually I did terrorist collection/recovery.

[Anonymous]

There is only one valid answer to this question. Joking about killing someone is not a gender specific thing, but for the most part rape is, and women simply have a thinner skin and feel more entitled to not be offended. Modern society has created that sense of entitlement in women.

[Brady]

Rape is sick to people. One of the most hated criminals r rapists.

[AngryCarl2]

Rape is against the Geneva Convention, killing is fine.

[BarryLiverstone]

Both can be offensive