When It Comes To Age Gap Relationships, Do You Agree Your Own Morality Matters More Than What The Law Says?

[anon1903]

not saying law doesn't matter but older men dating teens and telling people it's legal in their country is pretty weird.

[normalice]

The problem is what if someone's morality actually let's them be okay with banging prepubescents because they, for example, live in rural Alabama where trading ones 12 year old daughter for land isn't unheard of.

I think what we're ultimately after when we talk about age gaps is we want men to accept the reality that they age and concede new social/sexual territory to successive generations - women aren't quite as territorial in the same ways as men so while the theme should obvioisly be applied to older women, as well, there's just simply far less to look out for.

However, there are also the occasional young women that actively pursue older men. I would say such women aren't fully part of the "new territory" or at least don't want to be. If I got off on applying bandages and someone came to me bleeding out would it be immoral to apply a bandage without telling them im creaming my pants the whole time? Such cases seem like "parasitic symbiosis" to me, if they find each other. However, grooming young women to want older men is a pretty serious problem.

[Jamie05rhs]

Well said.

[CatVader]

naturally speaking, woman date older and men date younger. generally by about 3-5 years.
so there is a general human culture for this behavior.

now with the range of legality..
just because something is legal doesn't mean it's lawful and vice versa.
lawful is about rights legal is about government rules.
question is then, when is someone old enough to have adult rights?
and if you don't have adult rights but still want to be with older men for whatever reason and don't have authorities/parents to guide you to do better with your life and/or if your life situation dictates a necessity of looking for those opportunities it gives dating a rich old man. then what?
it's quite complicated... and can't definitely be just borderlined at a certain age either.
since.. some mature faster, some may be ready at age 16 versus some may be ready at age 20, biologically and mentally speaking.

lot of the age ranging is due to local culture though.
some cultures marry and sexualize quite far down. reason it's quite important to have an honest discussion about what should be and philosophically moralistically why.

just my 2c.

[Anonymous]

I got my period at 10 and at 11 I wanted to f-k. But I wanted to f**** other 11yo like myself. I always wanted to be with those my age.

THOSE MEN ARE DISGUSTING, GROTESQUE PE—DOS. PREDS. And they need to be in a prison, picking up a bar of soap 🧼.. they need the electric chair, guillotine..

You think at 11 I was trying to look at men in their 20’s and over? LET ALONE MEN PAST THEIR 30’s, PAST THEIR WALLS? Hell I wasn’t even looking at teenagers!!! I was looking at my equals!!!

[Apple1996]

1000% yes morals should matter more than the law. A older man should know better than to date a teen but they choose to abuse and take advantage of the laws instead of doing what's right.

[BeetleBro2000]

Yes. Something being legal doesn't make it morally okay to do.

There are 8 states where animal cruelty is not always illegal. There are 14 states where child labor is not always illegal. There are 35 states where murdering lgbt+ people is not always illegal. There are 41 states where child marriage is not always illegal. There are 50 states where physically assaulting a child is not always illegal.

Law is NOT morality.

[anon1903]

Precisely! The strongest argument

[Kaneki05]

Indeed, If all the sudden they lowered it in my country it wouldn't change the fact I wouldn't go for anyone under 16. Then my thoughts is don't date someone who still in school or just left unless you are in early 20s and did the same not long ago.

16 is when we leave school here, therefore they work go to collage whatever else that puts them around adults and starts making them one. That's why it's okay for them to mature and date someone older. But if someone is been a creep at 40 trying to date someone who just left school well yeah that's a creep.

Then if you are in a place which 18 is when the leave school then yeah you shouldn't be creeping on them after they just left. Don't matter if legal or not. What matters is if you are in a similar position or waited until they've had at least some years not been in school.

[MysticDevice]

All I can say is that yes its legal for me to date an 18 year old. But I'm still not gonna do that cause that is just so unnerving to me.

The youngest I'll even look at is 21. I'd still prefer someone in my age group though.

[anon1903]

Mad respect

[TruthBeTold77]

I think an adult that wants a child of any age even 16 17 is sick in the head. I'm 30, I still view 23/24 year olds as babies. People are just perverted and gross. Never dated anyone more than 2 years younger than me.

[Singhaeshwaryakumar]

Yes it matters in many ways
1)- family members basically start asking lots of questions and quaries.
2)- people do not look in proper manner
3)- public behaviour is very annoying
4)-improtant thing is to have good coordination between the two of them.
5)- ideas differ from each other and make a conflict may be the man is right sometimes maybe the girl.
In other community like in Indian or in any other people ask why was the liking of two persons got aged differ why did they not get there mating pairs and etc.

[Lionman95]

Yes because not everything is directed by law. Just because something isn´t against the law it´s not good per se.

[anon1903]

Exactly 💯💯

[Lionman95]

I agree there are things you can do that you shouldn´t do especially in terms of dating.

[Still-alive]

Of course your own personal morality should matter more than the law. cause remember it was once legal to own other human beings.

In this case it matters much too.

[anon1903]

You're so right

[the_sinner]

Older men or women have lived longer than younger ones so they’re obviously aware how fragile a teenager’s mind and body can be and how easily manipulated they can be so they should definitely make moral decisions rather than being reckless and later blame it on concepts like love, consent and laws.

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

• If I see 16 years old girl with 20 years but if I see 32 year old going after 16 year I will probably beat them up
• 18 should be minimum age and for guys max should be 35
• 10-15 gap i think is digestible at max.
• But now they're some couples who have 20 year plus age gap

[anon1903]

10-15 years age gap makes you their young stepparent lol.

[anon1903]

Five years should be the max. That and less.

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

Upto u... that's my take

[anon1903]

All right

[Nigjt]

Yes I an not missing around with no teenager it's gotta be 21 an up be for I'd even considerate.
God Bless

[anon1903]

That's still icky for me 🙂

[Nigjt]

Well that's u not other's.
Haha haha haha 😂 .
Get over it already.
God an Bless

[DiegoO]

As to countries where it's legal to have sex at 16: If I am not wrong, in those countries the age gap has to be of 3 years to be legal.

As to having sex with an 18yo. In my early twenties I definitely would. Even in my middle twenties. I long pass the age where I would feel comfortable having sex with a late teen.

Sex is one of those things I just can't get to without screwing up my life more👍, but I ain't getting desperate—I've been there.

[LunarEclipse433]

Your morality should have higher standards than any law.

[anon1903]

LOUDER people in the back can't hear you

[standardguy]

Well, if a woman is old enough to have sex with a same age guy (this tells the law) then she is also marture enough to decide if she wants to have sex with an older man than her. It depends on her if she accepts an older guy.

If she is forced to have a relationship to an old man then it's against any law of the world. She must have the right to decide what she wants.

By the biology men are attracted the most to younger women around 16-20 because this age range is the most fertile. And it's on the woman to decide which guy she wants.

It's the same in the nature. Older orang gutang also are in the race about the fertile women and dont say no to anybody they can impregnate. They get what the female orang gutang decide. The same with other animals

[anon1903]

Ewwwwww

[anon1903]

Stop hiding man's pedophile tendencies behind biological perspective lmao.

[brownup]

Well, morality is pretty subjective.. depending a lot on norms ofa certain area... however. Dating a minor who doesn't yet have the wisdom is universally wrong... even 16 yr olds getting pregnant from their similar aged bfs is also morally wrong.. children need to be children.. but once u r old enough lets say 20 or above... then even if u fate a guy 15 years older.. there's nothing morally wrong there

[Fireguy17]

No, sadly because some people don't have the common sense that God gave a goldfish we need laws specifically for those people.
One would hope some morals kick in too.

[chrissykerdock]

i think a 60 year old dating a teen is a bit extreme... but i'd date a 60 year old... even give him pleasure if he wants it.

[LazerBean]

Yes. If a 16 year old is already a whore than I certainly don't give a shit if she decides to whore with a 40 year old man.

[DarkLegacy]

Quite right

[pinconon]

wouldn't everyone's own morality be different?

[zeitgeist057]

Yeah this is how I read the question as well, and don't really agree. Maybe not what OP meant to write, but it comes off as "If I believe something is right in my heart, then it doesn't matter what the law says". Which would actually justify pedophilia if the pedophile honestly feels like what they are doing is morally right. Because they are following their heart/personal morals.

Thinking everyone has the same morality as themselves, is where people confuse the issue.

[anon1903]

@zeitgeist057 if a person think pedophilia is right, they need professional help. 🙄

[anon1903]

@zeitgeist057 I just wonder why older people date practical teens and use the "law card" in their favour, when actually the law that allows them to date is the freedom for the teens to date among themselves.

[zeitgeist057]

@anon1903 if that's what the intention of the law is, then that's what the law should state, and I think it actually does in some areas? The law will be written something like, 'once a person is 18 they can have sex with anyone they want with no restrictions, but if they are 16-18, they can have sex with someone who is at least 16, but no more than 2 years older'.

I'm not totally sure about that, and just came up with the numbers randomly, but the idea is just as you say. So 16 year olds can have sex with others 16-18, and a 17 year old can have sex with someone 16-19, but if a 40 year old has sex with a 17 year old, it's illegal.

As for the pedophilia thing, the definition seems to be dependent on what age we call people adults vs. children. Some places age of consent is 14, others 18. But does that mean a person is an adult or child based on where they live? That seems illogical. I think it's more of a spectrum, you aren't a child at 17 years, 364 days, 23 hours and 59 seconds and then two seconds later you transform instantly into an adult. Legally, yes. But as far as actual personal development, it's a spectrum, and not everyone is on the same timeline, regardless of their geographic location.

"why people use the 'law card'" - people do what they can to get what they want, which is why we have laws in the first place; if we didn't, lots (more) people would push the boundaries. So we have to have laws to keep people on the same page. But if some company or person who cares more about money than the environment for example, gets an opportunity to dump their toxic waste for free and legally, then they will do it. Until a law is made saying they can't.

[anon1903]

@zeitgeist057 law doesn't state it because it's common sense. It's ironic.

Twisted logic, if you will.

That thou shant date somebody who's your daughter's age. Lmao.

[anon1903]

@zeitgeist057 I get your points but I'm still disgusted by suchen.

[anon1903]

*such men

[Grond21]

Your own morality would only matter more if it is objective. And then it will always trump the law.
Although in that case, I guess it's not your own morality, it is The morality.

[Agape93]

Neutral. Long as adults aren't hooking up with minors, I don't care what you do.