Do you think age matters when it comes to love as long as there’s two consenting adults?

Question

I don’t think it should as long as somebody isn’t like 80 and the other person is 20, but I don’t get why people shake their heads over a 7 or 10 year age gap when literally it’s no big deal. I’ve been trying to care less what people think as my boyfriend is 18 and I’ll be 25 this fall but the age means nothing because he’s like the most mature, loyalist, kindest soul I’ve met. It’s not going to matter one day anyways when he’s 25 and I’m 32 lol or when he’s 30 and I’m 37 like wtf. I see society being a double standard too at times normalizing older men with young women because that’s more common but when it’s the other way around people suddenly have something to say😂

8UniquelyBoring8 · Accepted Answer

When it comes to relationships, age is one of the most important factors to consider. Age plays a significant role in shaping a person’s level of maturity, life experiences, and their goals in life. While there may be some exceptions, generally speaking, a relationship between an 18-year-old and a 25-year-old is not advisable. Following are some reasons why this kind of relationship may not be a good idea.

First and foremost, there is a significant difference in maturity levels between an 18-year-old and a 25-year-old. An 18-year-old is usually fresh out of high school, just starting college or entering the workforce. At this stage in life, an 18-year-old is still in the process of discovering themselves and figuring out their place in the world. While a 25-year-old, on the other hand, has gained more experience in life and is more established in their career or personal life.

In addition, the power dynamic in a relationship between an 18-year-old and a 25-year-old can be very problematic. It is not uncommon for a person who is older and more experienced to manipulate or take advantage of someone who is younger and lacks the life experience to understand what is happening. The older person may exploit their partner’s naivety and inexperience, leading to an imbalanced and unhealthy relationship.

Moreover, the goals and aspirations of an 18-year-old are usually different from those of a 25-year-old. At 18, a person may be focused on exploring their interests, starting a career or pursuing further education. While a 25-year-old may have already established themselves in their career, may be ready to settle down, and may want to start a family. These two different stages in life may make it difficult to maintain a long-term relationship.

Finally, society’s perception of a relationship between an 18-year-old and a 25-year-old may affect the relationship as well. The public perception of the older partner may create pressure and negative judgment from family and friends. This can strain the relationship and create unnecessary stress on both partners.

In conclusion, while there may be some exceptions to the rule, in general, an 18-year-old should not date a 25-year-old. The power dynamic, different stages of life, and maturity levels can lead to an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship. It is important that both partners are at similar stages of life, and they have a healthy and equitable relationship based on mutual respect, understanding, and trust.

catiecatie · Accepted Answer

I don’t think that matters. My cousin married a female that was twice his age. No wonder why his first marriage didn’t work they both liked older people 😂 I prefer a little bit older than me as a sense of protection and that’s what guys do but for fertility. That’s what one of my friends told me years ago. I dated a guy that was 14 years older than me. That guy was an asshole. Thank god I dodged that bullet. I do have a crush on this guy though only 4 years older than me and super sweet and always willing to help. Just a terrible texter. I don't know we will see what happens I guess I’m too scared to ask him out though.

BadApple69 · Accepted Answer

First and most important…. Don’t worry what other people say! If they don’t comment on the age difference they will comment on something else. People like to share their thoughts even when no one want to hear them. Now my thoughts (because I like to share too). Age doesn’t matter at All. I married a girl much younger then myself and we have been (mostly) happy for 13 years now. My fear is that I will die first and leave her old and alone. Us older guys were brought up that we are the bread winners and protectors of the family. Well, my wife has a great job so that’s not a problem but at some point my ability to protect will diminish or disappear all together.
In your situation your guy is younger so he doesn’t have to worry about getting to old faster then you.
Your situation will be if he is going through collage and doesn’t want kids till he has a good job that will put you in your 30s. By the time you two get settled and have a home you could be 35ish.
But every situation and every relationship has its challenges. This is called life. Go out and enjoy it with whom you please. Good luck!

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

I think you're right to a point about the reversal, though there are plenty of people talking smack about older men with younger women as well, I would agree there's some sideways glances at older women with younger men.

That said, I don't even see you at 24 with a 18 year old boyfriend as an age gap. I mean, yes, if you do the math 6-7 year difference, but in terms of interests and where you are in your life, late teens and 20s is a time with lots of energy, passion, discovery, and you can do anything with fewer obligations and responsibilities that accrue later in life.

You are also right it's going to matter less and less as the years go on and those years are a smaller fraction of your total age. I'm 46 this year and my girlfriend will be 23, and we joke that I will literally be "twice her age" which seems to be the thing people typically like to say even when the age gap is something like 7-10 years.

Do you think age matters when it comes to love as long as there’s two consenting adults?

https://www.goodenoughmother.com/2014/02/ask-rene-daughters-boyfriend-twice-age-handle/

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Some people have very rigid and strict expectations for the way relationships work and a 10 year age difference doesn't fit in with their notions. These are probably the same people who believe that sex should be done in the missionary position, at night, with the lights off.

I am 68 years old and my fiancée is 59. The age gap doesn't bother me and never has. I've dated more ladies who were within 2-3 years of my age, but I've had other age gap relationships:

When I was 24, I dated a women who was 42

When I was 25, I dated a woman who was 36

When I was 26, I dated a woman who was 37

When I was 53, I dated a woman who was 37

When I was 62, I dated a woman who was 79 (but healthy and active)

The only conclusion I developed from all of this is that older women are very eager to include sex in a relationship. (But I don't know if that is a valid general rule.)

AviatorTom · Answer

The age difference really doesn't matter. My father was 30 years older than my mother, and they had a long, happy 30-year marriage until he passed away.

nastyb · Answer

things might be fine when you're 25 and they're 40. but by the time you hit 45 , you will find yourself married to a senior citizen. will you be happy by then? marriage is a big decision, just don't get yourself in a rut that you will regret.

The old people who think their super young lovers will stay with them forever need a big wake up call. And just because someone is staying with you, it does not mean they aren't cheating on you.

Bricealan · Answer

At '30 something", I had a woman friend in her late 50's or early 60's and she asked me one day. "I bet you would do it to me, I I let you', and of course I agreed... that I would. When it came to sex with her, and I should have gone ahead with it, I started to undress her and for, whatever reason, I did not go through with it... I don't thing age should be a major factor to have anxiety over. I just fucked up and should have had sex with her, and it would have probably been great

nolabels · Answer

A few years ago, I fell in love with a lovely young lady of 25 over the course of several months.

I was 61.

Neither of us were available, but even that age difference, when we were falling for each other, meant nothing to us.

Maybe we told ourselves that because we knew we weren't available for each other at the time.

I don't know.

I'll always remember her.

RingOfFire · Answer

I don't think there is any moral problem with any kind of relationship between consenting adults. Doesn't matter what the age gap is or whether they are the same sex or not, same race or not or how many people consenting adults are in that relationship. It is nobody's business except the people who are in the relationship.

Love is hard enough to find without imposing societal edicts about who you can and cannot find fulfillment with in relationships. I think the immoral part is not committed by people who are in out of the mainstream relationships with consenting adults but by others who seek to intimidate them into a life of loneliness and lack of fulfillment. People have a right to not like the kind of relationship that you wish to engage in, but they do not have a right to interfere with it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

None of us controlled when we were born, nor are we guaranteed tomorrow. In that respect, no it does not matter. However, maturity-wise and head trip-wise it can. My parents were much older - mom almost 45 - when I was born, so dating a woman 20 years older does not have the ick factor for me that it does for someone whose mom was 20 when he was born.

PointTaken · Answer

Not at all. Here is an example.

lightbulb27 · Answer

It's their lives. As long as there is mutual respect for the other human being, I don't care. If there is abuse, or it's going to impact the lives of family/friends, than I'm going to say something.

It's important they use their brains and seek help if they aren't sure if doing the right thing. "Love" ... can be messy.

DizzyDesii · Answer

To me, it does. I find it weird if someone 21+ is dating someone whose age ends in —teen. I also find it weird if someone dates someone old/young enough to be their parent/child. You asked do I think it matters. Again, to me, it does. To others? Apparently not so much. All i can control is who I choose to date. Others will do as they please

Meropatrick · Answer

Yes it does. In life we have stages. Oil doesn't mix with water. An old person should be a source of wisdom and guide to a younger person not a booty call. A Young person should date a young person. Older people are in a stage in life where they should play with their granchildren. Not be a freak in the sheet

KingslayerC · Answer

Everything matters, but it's a lot more fluid than some people make it out to be. We pretend that there's some massive maturity spike at 30 or something, but most 50+ year old people I know are less mature than my last teenage babysitter. Matter of fact, I don't let any of them watch my kids, but left them alone with the teenager dozens of times.

Creative_Name04 · Answer

I don’t think it matters unless it’s like a 10+ year gap because beyond that the massive difference in age really starts to hit you

sage2021 · Answer

Yes, it's disgusting! Like having sex with your mom and son. I don't know how a 58 year old man have sex for years with two 80 year women or even one. Makes me sick to my stomach 🤮

Staximus · Answer

There's this girl that comes in to the bar I work at who has a crush on me. She's 23 and I'm 46. She's beautiful and thinks I'm the greatest guy, but I'm over here preparing for retirement and she's still stuck in that "go out and party every night and get drunk" mentality. I was over that lifestyle 20 years ago, we're at two totally different stages in life.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe it shouldn't but it does.

I try not to get hung up on age disparity. But you can't argue with statistics. The FACT is when the age gap surpasses 10 years. The success rate drops off dramatically. Thae FACT remains that compatibility matters for long term success.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Not really. The older you get the less being the same age seems to matter. But 80 and 20, no, nothing in common except his or her money.

Anonymous · Answer

Not necessarily but both have to be on the same page. For example a young man dating an older woman has to be accepting that getting her pregnant might not happen. Also women have to be accepting that as a man ages erectile dysfunctional might happen.

es20490446e · Answer

Statistics show that within a 10 year gap people are as likely to last together. Beyond 20 years it is less likely.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

I've had sex w a few girls 20 years younger, it's super fun, but when I'm 60 and their 40... I don't know if it would work out. Especially if they are still hot and I'm old and ugly.

Apple1996 · Answer

Your age gap is perfectly fine I only see a issue with 10 years+ age gaps just cause that's a big difference

ShesRad80 · Answer

doesn't matter, i see age gaps relationships all the time in healthcare, one lady has 15 years on her boyfriend and she's 72

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I feel like it matters more and more the older I get. I"m 30, and the thought of having a sexual relationship with someone younger than 24 just feels off to me.

Anonymous · Answer

Idc about big age gaps my father is 10 years older than my mom but when they got married she was 28. A whole grown woman so that’s fine. I am 24 today (their eldest) and they are still together.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Matters to who? I think it matters more to people on the outside of a relationship like this than it does the couple because many people can't mind their own business. Lol

BlackJeep · Answer

Not really. There are old souls that are more attracted to older partners. If you notice a difference when you are with someone who isn't close to your age then it matters.

RHK36 · Answer

As long as they are old enough and consent, otherwise I don't concern myself with other people's relationships. It doesn't effect me or hurting anyone else then why care, so I don't.

inhua · Answer

wait I thought personality was most important, not these superficial factors?

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

If you're both legal in the feelings are mutual, it doesn't matter

Likes2drive · Answer

7 year age gaps seem to work best from my observations over the years, it definitely depends on the person, I might go as much as 20 years younger since I’m a lot older now

Zforce194 · Answer

It doesn’t really matter what other people think. If you guys love each other and want to be together, that’s all that matters.

Sanser · Answer

It depends but of course if it isn't extreme it doesn't matter! When u find someone that loves u that should be what only matters!

Hithere4567 · Answer

Yeah, I think 20 year are gap is fine, given that it's lawful.

Dargil · Answer

If They are in the same stage of life, no  But something like 25 and 75 are wrong.

bowenw · Answer

Love is love as long as the two are consenting adults, adults being the operative word.

Luopio27 · Answer

Dont let others get the best of you. Like you said, as long as both want it and are adults, who is anyone to come between your love?

DaddyDiablo · Answer

Age definitely does matter too young can definitely be too young lol

Unit1 · Answer

Of course not. Age of consent is a myth.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Yeah cause maturity levels need to be about the same

Quigly · Answer

I know a girl widowed by three men and all were her same age. Marrying someone your own age has no guarantees.

driven159 · Answer

my wife is 25 years younger than me and we have been married for 12 years and been together for 15 years

Pohjolan · Answer

To a extent but if someone is old enough to die in a trench war then they are also old enough to decide who they wish to date.

Anonymous · Answer

A woman offered me to see her in private. She is 22 years older than me. I will take up her offer.

Amur8711 · Answer

What do you think of me being 30 and her being 40? She has kids, I don't, but possibly want to in the future.

JesseP1nk · Answer

It only matters for women when they are in the 40s. And men start picking younger women.

OddBeMe · Answer

If one of them isn’t in their teen years, I’m fine.

justabuddy · Answer

I don't think it should, per day. As long as they are adults.

Ciroc · Answer

Age is literally just a number

runnerboy · Answer

Love is love, age should not matter

dudeinohio · Answer

7 year age gap is nothing

collie22 · Answer

But not 6 younger I'm told

clampfan101 · Answer

Where would you personally draw the line?

Raaj4you · Answer

Age gap doesn't matter.

Guanfei · Answer

It doesn't. As long as they're adults.

najekim · Answer

If it works, go fer it!

briigantexx · Answer

I dont understand what is ur problem?

SnowedIn · Answer

Not one bit.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it matters

Titlover01 · Answer

Not really.

Truckfan01 · Answer

Not at all

Do you think age matters when it comes to love as long as there’s two consenting adults?

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