Do you think that age gap relationships between two consenting adults is disturbing?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

Depends (explain in comments)

[SherriMarieValentine]

My friend, Charles, was 17 years older than his last wife. She, after 15 years together, and 10 years married, cheated for a second time on him a month and a half after his last chemo at the Veterans Hospital and came home with a HUGE hickey on her neck. She also said, he treated her like a 1950s housewife. She cheated before with an old boyfriend while he was in a combat zone, and they daughter was 18 months old. After the most recent cheat, she texted her sex master, "Charlie seen the hickey on my neck and he's pissed. I'm glad he seen that you marked me." Then filed for divorce. So, she was the piece of shit not him. He KNOWS what great relationship should be. Also, he immediately got himself and his children into counseling. He met with a counselor that was in her late '80s. She said, and I quote, "That little bitch is just thinking with her pussy. Hell if I was even 20 years younger I'd be your '50s house wife. All I'd have to do is clean the house, take care of your kids, and fuck you every night."

He was minding his own business and he's talking to a lady now. Come to find out she is 30 years younger that him and he's seen counselors to ensure all is well and they say he is fine. The relationship is mature, healthy, and positive. So, age is just a number as long as the people in it do not have any psychosis that would extract the healthy part of the "mature, healthy, and positive" description of a relationship.

[wolfcat87]

Hmmm... Sounds really biased.

[SherriMarieValentine]

@wolfcat87 Those are the facts. They are undisputable.

[zeitgeist057]

Not at all, and tbh from the other end of the spectrum, from observations I have developed a theory that the people who are disturbed by it the most are almost always ones who have some MAJOR issues of their own.

For example, I've seen older women who freak out if they hear about an age gap relationship. It's painfully obvious that they are either insecure (about their own age) and jealous, or that they have some traumatic experience from their past (some man or men hurt them deeply so now all men are not to be trusted). So their PTSD gets triggered and they freak out hard.

Another example is conservative/close minded people, who basically hate anything that isn't what they are doing "normal". It goes from same sex relationships, or anything LGBTQIA+, to anything that is a deviation from the norm. The further it is, the more disturbed they are. It's more common among under-educated people, who don't understand statistics or other basic concepts, or who haven't been exposed to much variety in life.

Another point about this theory is that it ties into another theory of mine. People often don't think about another person's perspective. That is, Person A put themselves in Person B's shoes, but they are still thinking like Person A. People who are liars, tend to accuse others of lying. People who are thieves, are the ones most paranoid about having things stolen from them. People who cheat, are most often concerned they are being cheated on. Why is this? Because that's what THEY would do, if they had the opportunity. So to correlate that to the age gap question, people who are disturbed by it are disturbed because if THEY were in that relationship, it would be for creepy/messed up reasons. They don't actually have a clue (or care to) about the people living in those relationships.

[Anonymous]

Just because the two of you have a chronological gap, doesn’t mean that the two of you aren’t equals. The two of you could be emotionally and psychologically the same. Some people have more or less life experiences than the other. Those on the less end, and older can equal the younger ones maturity. But the older one can still offer more financial, emotional stability and have their life together. The younger of the two may have been forced to grow up faster for the sake of survival. The older one allows the younger one to stop adulting for a while and enjoy life.


It is up to both individuals to not take advantage of each other in such an age gap relationship.


Respect for the other needs to be mutual and one may feel the need to seek it out in the other.

[Opinion Owner]

If men and women are 18 or older, you are both old enough to join the military, go overseas, step on a landmine, and have the bottom half of your body blown off and die holding your own intestines. There is no draft anymore. Our military is strictly voluntary, voluntary, but you still join up.

Now, to put this into context, you are old enough to make the decision to risk your life in a foreign country just to earn a paycheck or even build a career, but someone in an age gap relationship, is perverse to most.

Kinda like violence and foul language on tv, this is acceptable, but networks are not allowed to show nudity.

Violence should be seen as perverse, not nudity.

Death should be seen as perverse, not relationships.

[DaisyM23]

technically an adult is anyone above 18, so if an 18 year old is dating a 50 year old, that'd be weird - too large a gap at any age is a bit weird too, especially if it's someone your parent's/child's age, but i think once you're 25+, it'd be less immoral

[Avicenna]

No. Maybe insecure busybodies are bothered by it.

[Apple1996]

Depends on the age gap

[Asker]

Like how high of an age gap?

[Apple1996]

I think like 12 years max between the couple. Anymore than that is weird

[wolfcat87]

If it's someone under 21 with someone 5 or more years older then it definitely grosses me out. That person is still a child in most ways. Once they are 21, I don't really care if their partner is 80 years old. They may still not be 100% an adult, but they are maybe 80-90% and should be able to handle it better. After 25-30, I can't comprehend why anyone would judge.

[strateguy632]

i get it that some say "a guy with a lady the age of his daughter is like dating his daughter" except she not daughter. but she make him feel young. see book jennifer fever, many good theories and also many subjectively BITTER phrases wording. poor woman.

[sawno]

Depends on the age gap of course, i'd feel really weird about it if I were to date a 19 year old for example. Yeah she's an adult legally so I wouldn't be a pedophile for doing it, but simultaneously that's 10 years apart and she's in a completely different phase of life experience.

It does get less bad with time, if a 42 year old is dating a 33 year old then they are probably in a similar phase in life. So then the creepyness factor goes away.

[normalice]

Disturbing? No. It is a case of symbiotic parasites. It's good they habe each other so they don't bother other people.

[Asker]

Would you ever do it yourself?

[normalice]

I mean, I'm not inclined towards younger women in general. The only thing they have going for them is their looks, which is important for sex but insufficient for a relationship. Older guys who don't mind immaturity in a relationship have issues, in my opinion, as desiring adulthood in those one associates with is a key attribute of being an adult. And girls who want someone the age of their parents come off as a little bit too paranoid or clingy which I'm not into.

[normalice]

Oh, but all that said, if a young girl was mature beyond her years so none of this applied, maybe.

[SherriMarieValentine]

Your proof of "Symbiotic parasites?" What study might you be citing? Without a citation of such a phrase it is considered your opinion, and that is fine, but the syntax seems to suggest some academic citation.

[normalice]

@SherriMarieValentine it is only the sense I get.

[ShaniaWWE]

@SherriMarieValentine he thinks his opinion is a fact. It's impossible to argue with him

[ShaniaWWE]

Your prejudice is showing once again 😂

[normalice]

@ShaniaWWE im... not arguing. I explain why it is the sense I get in the replies. Of course i could be wrong.

[Raaj4you]

No, if they love, trust and understand each other then age gap is not a big problem. Don't focus on what people might say to you? As a full grown man, the only thing I have on my mind is that I want a mature classy woman to spend rest of my life.

[Chandelier8]

If they have kids, I think it's child abuse. Like Robert Deniro, for example. The kid (s) will grow up knowing their dad is going to die soon and that he can't take proper care of the them. The kid (s) will have to take care of the elderly dad.

[HighValue]

Compatibility for morals, interests, and long term life goals matters much more. Without those, the relationship won't work out long term regardless of the age difference. The majority of failed relationships are within 3 years of each other.

[Anonymous]

No. It's really none of my business. Statistically speaking the odds are not with them for longterm success though. I don't have a problem with it. They're the ones that went in knowing that the odds for failure was higher than normal. If they still want to take a chance, why should I care?

[aceleon]

for a young man to date an older woman doesn't look disturbing to me but for the guy being older there shouldbe a limitation

60 year old guys dating girls in their 20s looks disgusting.

[exitseven]

No, every relation is based on something. If it is a young person marrying an older rich person the relationship is based on money. It is what it is. I would not fault an old rich guy getting a young wife.

[IslaTheWitch]

A relationship is a complex thing. A bigger age gap means different experiences, expectations, plans, etc.

If they are matching, it's great.

[lightbulb27]

it can be, but love and connection don't work on age timelines. thus... using brain is important.

[LazerBean]

It just depends on the situation. I've known women in their 30s married to men in their 80s, and yes it was honestly pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Why are you concerned about what other people do in their relationships if they are both consenting adults? Does the age gap trigger something in you?

[Asker]

Who said I was?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Nope, there was this one girl, age 29 was living with a guy age 54 at the time, now this was years ago also these two were planning to get married and have kids.

[Paul09]

After 10-15 years of if a gap, it starts the seem weird. Like what do you even have in common? Practical different generation. And then in long term, the older one will die way in advance. How is that fair to the younger one?

[hbkfan]

Depends on how old the girl or guy is most places have a certain age set on consent like most of the states in the us the age of consent is 16 but in Arabia their legal age is 14

[SixFootSexy]

They're adults. It's consenting. Why should I care?