Why do so many people victim blame. Even where there is evidence to back up the person's claims, people still blame the victim?

[Anonymous]

This is honestly a contributing factor for why people do end their lives and than those people say they should have reached out for help but they do but they are met with bs victim blaming

[Anonymous]

"Victim blaming" is a very overused term today. It is used by people who are trying to undonditionally place all the blame on one person and relive the other person of any and all blame. But life is not usually that black and white.

That's why people are so cynical today about so called victm blaming.

[Asker]

So you wouldn't say it was victim blaming when the person reported the rape immediately and evidence was found to prove a rape did take place and the person who committed the rape also confessed and than the victim has people telling her she wanted it and telling her its her own fault so you don't consider this victim blaming when in this case the victim wasn't drunk and fought hard to get him off her and she was wearing jeans and a jacket and fully covered

[Opinion Owner]

Based on your description here, that sounds like victim blaming. But I have also been in the know on other similar scenarios where one person's side of the story is very different than the other persona's side, and it's impossible to know whose version is more accurate.

But again, the problem is that the term "victim blaming" has been monopolized by feminist types who want ALL of the blame in EVERY rape case to be placed on the man. They want ALL of the repsonsibility to be on men when there is any question about whether there was consent. I'm talking about when a woman seemingly goes along willingly with a man's sexual advances and then later says "I didn't want to", but she gave NO indication to that guy that she didn't want to. It's called affirmative consent, and it places ALL of the responsibility on the man, and NONE on the woman. If the woman didn't protest, didn't say "no", didn't give any indication, physical, verbal or otherwise, it's still HIS fault because he didn't obtain "affirmative consent". Men are expected (by women) to be the ones to take teh initiative in dating, romance and sex, and we are penalized because of it.

THAT is the problem with the whole "victim blaming" thing. People are tired of the dishonesty and one sided nature of the colective conversation in society today about rape. That cynicism is the fault of femininst influences, and the victims of it are men who are blamed unfairly, AND women wo are ACTUAL victims of ACTUAL rape who aren't believed by people who are tired of all the bullshit today.

If you are an actual victim of actual rape, I am so very sorry you experienced that andd I hope to heal and find peace. But be careful where you chanel your anger and on whom you place the balme.

[Opinion Owner]

@Jumpintoadstool Sure, I'll tell you, and you don't even need to pray.

What do you mean by rape? There are countless scenarios that some consider rape today, and everyone one is different from the next. Some are black and white, some are more gray. And in some of those gray ones there is some blame on both sides. I'll give you one example, but there are countless others.

A friend of mine who I've known since we were young was acused of rape. They had been in an unconventional (for lack of a better word) sexual relationship on and off for a few years. It was a very physical relationship, and by that I mean it bordered on physcially abusive, and both of them liked it that way

The sex was not most people's cup of tea, but both of them were into that and both wanted it that way. I won't get too grafic but I'll just say that he sometimes got very aggressive with her. She loved it, and he knew that. For whatever reason she got pissed off and accused him of rape for one "session" that was no different than countless others. It would have been considered "rape" by most people who didn't understand the history of their sexual relationship.

So, pray tell, when a man has been in a sexual relationship with a woman who has made it clear for years that she loves it when he treats her a certain way in the bedroom, how is it his fault when he does the same things he has done for years and gets acused of rape? He was not convicted, but some people think he should have been.

Some cases of rape are black and white, and 100% of the fault lies with the perpetrator. But many are not that clear cut, and is very disengenous to say the "rapist" is always at fault and the "victim" has no fault. We live in the real world after all.

[Opinion Owner]

@Jumpintoadstool SOunds like you need to brush up on your understanding of what is considered rape today. Why don't you run along and do that now.

[Blueeyes81]

Because everyone is a victim now days. No one wants to take accountability for their actions and it detracts from actual victims.

[Asker]

Many years ago I was raped. I reported it immediately to the police evidence was found on my body and where the rape took place to prove a rape did happen the guy who committed the rape also confessed to his than girlfriend at the time about the rape she than gave a statement to police yet despite the evidence and evidence showing I wasn't drunk and I was wearing clothing head to toe people were there telling me it was my fault. Some even said I wanted it before telling me I was ruining a man's life.

Some of these comments came from my own family who are blood related

Although I have healed from the rape it does often make me wonder why at the time people blamed me when I honestly did do anything I even fought the guy to get him off me but he was stronger

[Asker]

I get what you are saying but this crap happens to real and genuine victims and makes us not want to ever speak up because of the backlash we receive from doing so.

Even real and genuine victims of domestic violence don't speak up because they aren't supported and receive backlash for being with such a guy when most people don't show their abusive side until months into a relationship

[Jumpintoadstool]

Because humans desperately want to believe the world is just. Religious people especially. Its a more comforting notion that bad things only happen to people who deserve it or didn't take the right precautions. Thankfully, not everyone thinks this primitively.

[kylee2437]

I think it depends on certain circumstances. Certain circumstances people have a victim mentality forever and it gets old and exhausting. Different situations call for different measures