What do you all think about late apologies?

[Danielle93]

In the rare cases where someone apologizes for cheating on you 10 or 20 years ago, hurting your feeling at your past workplace or bullying you at school... what's the point of it?

The damage has already been done, is there a point of delivering a late apology? What do you think of those cases, where you get an apology from someone that hurt/wronged you 10+ or 20+ years later?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes people deliver a late apology because it was truly when they realised the hurt they caused.

I know I caused some hurt and while I did apologise at the time my apology wasn't sincere because deep down I didn't fully understand what I had done wrong. Some things have taken me years to understand

[ArrowheadSW]

I think it would be a good thing for me at least. There were some hurtful experiences that I had in say, my twenties, where if I got an apology it would be cool.

[ArrowheadSW]

I do remember getting an apology after about 2 years once. (So not a real late apology like 10 years.) There was a young lady in college who lived in the same dorm and she was VERY mean to me. Similar to figuratively sticking a knife and twisting it to make sure it hurt, and for no reason. I avoided her after that because there was no reason to associate with her. Anyway when I was graduating and the day I was moving stuff into my car to leave campus, she saw me and came up to talk to me. She invited me into where she was staying and was nice and told me that she didn't know where all that meanness came from and had no idea why she was saying that stuff. So that was one instance of getting a sincere late apology that I truly appreciated.

[NathanDavis]

I would still accept it...

never too late for understanding...

[loveslongnails]

Most people don't care anymore or they're never going to forgive you anyway, even if you're actually sincere - which you're probably not!

[Danielle93]

Exactly. By then, they're probably just apologizing because it's part of a 12 step program or just to clear their conscience, not because they really realize how wrong it was after so many years lol.

[Danielle93]

That means that once again, it's all about themselves.

[loveslongnails]

I agree, however, there can be a point where the person truly recognizes how much hurt they caused, and really regret their actions. Maybe they're "not that person" anymore. I understand how that may be true "sometimes". But even when it is, that doesn't alleviate the pain someone else went through, or ease the issues they dealt with to get past it. I speak from experience.

The reality is - there's nothing you can do about it on either end. Unless the person who did the offending has really changed, and the offended party can truly forgive and trust them again, it just can't be salvaged. You write it off to one of life's experiences and just keep going - without that person.

[jahaims]

If someone does something negative to me intentionally, the apology means nothing.

[Danielle93]

Yeah the hurt was still intended and neither of those examples I've provided are "oops I forgot your b-day" type of mistakes. They are done deliberately while the person knew very well it would hurt you but didn't care.

[Alex8736]

It can possibly mean that they grew up. That's my best guess

[Andres77]

Better late than never