GaGers who are childfree, what made you choose to stay childfree?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I feel curious.

Feel free to share your thoughts, I am not judging, just listening.

[OlderAndWiser]

I married at age 32 to a woman who had previously had a hysterectomy, so she couldn't have children. We divorced when I was 49.

If I met a prospective candidate immediately, I would have likely waited at least 2 years before marrying. And then I would have wanted to wait at least a few more years to make sure the marriage seemed to be stable before having children. I would have been in my mid-50's when I became a father, and that means I would have been in my early-to mid-70's when that child graduated from high school; mid- to late-70's when they graduated from college; and well into my 80's when I became a grandfather. That is old to do all of those thiings, and also unfair to the child. It also means that I would have needed to marry a woman who was substantially younger than me; I;m not opposed to doing that but it reduces the field on candidates.

When I did eventually remarry, it was to a woman my own age and she was post-menopausal. So, I never had any children.

[AviatorTom]

FYI... I've learned it's never to old. My father was 67when I was born, and he died at 98. He worked until he was 83, forced into retirement by his company's insurance company who said they could no longer insure him because he was older than the mortuary tables. Growing up, we did the usual father things, going to sports games, playing catch in the backyard, working on odd jobs around the house, sharing guy stories. I would never sell someone short based on age alone.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AviatorTom I also thought that as I got older, I would have no patience with a crying baby or a whiney toddler.

[AviatorTom]

@OlderAndWiser Please know that I'm not criticizing you. I understand, and support, your decision. I'm just pointing out to others who may read this that an older father can be a good one. Each situation must be evaluated on its own.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AviatorTom Of course. My decision was the right decision for me but not necessarily for everyone else.

[Lliam]

I'm pragmatic. I never wanted the lifelong responsibility. There is total commitment to their health, education and welfare (clothes, toys, sports, entertainment). A huge economic burden, constant worry and inevitable heartbreak. Decisions and responsibility, they basically own you and take it for granted. Plus, I'm not all that charmed by kids.

The only reason I considered having any was to carry on my genes and family name. After all, I'm the product of generations going back to the beginning of time.

But that reason didn't outweigh the downside for me.

I didn't even get married until I was 42 years and 8 months old. My wife had just turned 40. She wanted a baby, but after two heartbreaking, fairly early term miscarriages, she decided that it wasn't meant to be.

She told me many years later that she's happy we don't have kids. She was referring to our independence but also to the devolving state of the world. I feel sorry for kids growing up these days.

Anyway, it all worked out for the best as far as we're concerned.

[Sour-rose]

besides being an asexual goddess... i know for a fact, I cannot care for a child. Cleaning the kid, teaching the kid, having patience, paying for the kid, making the kid happy, making the kid do it my way, mak-

I would go to jail for killing the kid... or be in hell for killing a kid then myself. Y'all know me to be funny but I'm dead serious... I would go insane and wouldn't live to the age of 44. Not to mention if i get to that age and my worry for the kid would be one phone call or car "BEEEP" away.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Well, let's say that child development class in high school with that robotic baby made me settle things to NOT do-which would be having kids. If I didn't take that class, I would've found out later that I wouldn't be mentally capable of having babies (that would be so sad). Only decision I'd have to make is whether to get ovaries removed or not. But it also means I'd have to figure out what to do with my future partner, since we wouldn't have kids.

[Fireguy17]

I just never got around to it.
I was single, traveling all over, pretty much could always find a willing partner for sex whenever I wanted, or they wanted, and was just enjoying life.
I just never felt the urge to become a father and really was enjoying life to the fullest. I could come and go as I pleased.
By the time I felt more like settling down I was past the age where having a kid was practical.
I was always fine with that decision even later in life.

[lightbulb27]

I had enough emotional damage that it kept me from forming relationships to have kids.

The essence of that was fear... and I secured it by putting oaths and curses on myself to never have kids or family. My family support for making my own family... was void.

My wife came along and we tried but out of time...

so that's that. At this point, I just don't have the energy and I'd be concerned leaving a kid without support. we could.. like adopt someone older. that's possible.

[Jessica405]

Both my partner and I spent 7 years at uni, incurring huge debts. Neither of us wanted to give up our careers to bring up kids. Unfortunately, I have had to give up work because of failing eyesight. I still won't have kids in case recent and future surgery fixes the issue so I can go back to work.

[puurikke]

I have a full life with friends and family. I don't feel the need to reproduce. I'm great with my nephew, but just don't feel the need to have a kid myself. And that's enough reason not to knock my girlfriend up. When having a kid you should be all in.

[love_conquers_lust]

Not opposed to it if finances won’t allow it or one spouse is infertile. It falls in line with another question about marriages being spouse centric. That’s the foundation upon which the family is built.

Some people forget that. Their lives end up revolving around their kids. I’d argue those people had too many kids if they allowed that to happen. It’s fine to ration time with kids, they need it fir upbringing. It’s not fine if it compromises quality time with your spouse. Sometimes spending time together as a family IS part of that quality time. But I think there should always be Mom and Dad time, no kids.

People who are workaholics shouldn’t have married or bore children at all if they were going to marry their jobs. It’s more than just the working spouse who’s making a sacrifice when they choose to do that.

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't really want to have kids because I don't think I would be able to handle getting up in the middle of the night. I'm a person that needs my sleep.
So, since I don't want my baby to die, I think it's probably best not to create one in the first place.

[smahala1991]

Because I know I'm not ready for it. Plus I have seen my sister go through 2 baby daddies and go to court over them. Plus I have another sister who has like 3-4 miscarriages. With the current world situation going on too we don't need anymore innocent lives getting hurt.

[iFarted]

Never got to the point in a relationship where either my partner or I felt like we're ready for children. My longest relationship recently ended after 3 years. We lived together for 2.

I'm starting to feel like I'm at a point in my life where If I don't accidentally have one within the next few years, I don't want one then. I don't want to be a old dad and I made peace with it for now.

[Lionman95]

I´m not able to procreate due to genetical dysfunction. Besides that I´m single and I´m not good with babies and toddlers. I can´t say why but I get kind of uncomfortable having them on my lap or on me.

[HawkPerception]

I've always wanted kids. It's just I'm not currently financially stable and it would be irresponsible to have kids and not be able to provide the opportunities and lifestyle I want them to have. That and I haven't found a partner yet 😂

[BarryLiverstone]

I haven’t gotten married yet. And the one time I thought I would be a father, she decided to have an abortion :(

[loveslongnails]

Didn't want the responsibility, didn't want to change the lifestyle I had, didn't want the expense.

[Agape93]

They're expensive, life altering, annoying and disgusting parasites. I would NEVER give up my money, my life, my freedom, my peace of mind and my body, to pop put something that is about as appealing as finding one of those toothy tumors

[FunkyMonkee]

The complete and utter lack of anyone to have kids with me.

[Ironco]

I guess you could say it was decided for me. We had eight miscarriages and gave up

[AviatorTom]

I can understand that. We had 4 miscarriages, and eventually were lucky enough to have 3 kids. Genetic counseling helped.

[Ironco]

@AviatorTom I'm way too old now

[Demonatrix]

Fertility issues got in my way first. Then after a while the price for the fertility treatments as they were not cheap.

[Berethor]

No childfree man here yet, funny, I would not marry someone childfree, no point.

[Kingofkings1992]

The world is a rotten place and intensely overpopulated. That’s the last thing on earth I wanna do with life.

[Dinklex3]

Never really cared for kids & my sister has kids. I just spoil them 🤷‍♀️

[DaBiggestBird]

I want cats instead, I will have Pretzel, and maybe get a new little baby since I’m sure my mom will keep Papaya since she’s the only one who cuddles.

[Staximus]

I worry too much, I would always be too worried about a kid's safety. Plus I don't want a kid to inherit my genetic flaws.

[CozyCoffin]

Nothing. I wanted kids. Can't even get a girlfriend.

[Twalli]

I don't want anyone to have the mental health I had when I can't hope to provide the support my parents gave me.

[Jennz6]

I never got married

[muscles_glasses]

never had a serious relationship; nothing beyond a few dates; still single (virgin)

[Liketotry]

Well, my children are grown up

[NathanDavis]

I am not married... yet

[boobliker]

the shit they give you most of your life

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

No $..