Why are you childfree by choice? Do you constantly feel judged?

[Anonymous]

A lot of men and women are making the choice to be childfree by choice. This has nothing to do with their ability to physically have children or not, they simply have chosen to never do so.

-If you are childfree by choice, why did you come to that decision?
-Do you feel heavily judged by others for making that choice?
-Do you honestly feel you may some day change your mind (right person, different circumstances, etc), or you're 100% set?
-If you are not childfree or don't want to be, do you think of those who make this choice as selfish?

[bobalife]

- childfree by choice: single and pursuing graduate school
-Do you feel heavily judged by others for making that choice? No not at all, it’s our choices. I feel more judged when people assumed I might have a child at my age lol. There is just so much more to life and our own identity. My life is what I make of it. I also only wanna married once. If I have kids, I only want it to be with one person.
-Do you honestly feel you may some day change your mind (right person, different circumstances, etc), or you're 100% set? I’ve always been 50/50. It depends on my partner, but I am leaning towards having my own kids with the right person.
-If you are not childfree or don't want to be, do you think of those who make this choice as selfish? No, marriage and kids is a social norm. But not everyone needs or obligated to follow it. I believe every kids deserve good and loving parents. So if someone don’t want kids nor wanna be good parents, I do think they shouldn’t have kids.

[TheDraconianJester]

I am childfree by choice for several reasons, but these are the biggest reasons of mine.
- I will never be mentally or physically prepared to have a child biologically. I know this as a fact. No amount of persuasion, begging, etc. will change my mind. Pregnancy is a big fear of mine, and I'd rather pass than carry out a pregnancy, especially if it's one I never wanted in the first place.

- This world is awful, and I do not see any hope for the future that would promise the future lineage a better life. With every good step, I see several negative steps. Bringing new life into this world in its current state would be unethical and selfish in my opinion. (But everyone is free to do what makes them happy, as long as the child is genuinely cared for in every possible way.) There is endless suffering, and I'd rather regret not having a child in this lifetime when there is good change than regret putting a child out there to experience how awful this world is for themselves.

- If I ever decide to step into the dating pool, I will always seek out people who would prefer adoption or are completely child-free. If I find out at any point that my partner wants a child, for both of our sakes, I am cutting things off. The last thing I want is to get pregnant and find out my partner is unfaithful, and that I'm too far in to call the Anti-stork, or get pregnant and have something bad happen to my partner, where I would be forced to be a single mother. It is simply safer not to have children and find like-minded partners.

I've always been judged about this choice (mostly by family), but I genuinely don't care. The idea of having children never sat right with me, and seeing most of the possible side effects/genuine stress you and your partner will go through, I know it simply isn't for me. I'm better off growing plants and owning animals instead.

[NicholasofAustralia]

I also don't want offspring - similar reasons. 🌎

[Purpleronnie]

I would fall into the ‘childfree by choice’ category and being completely honest with myself firstly , and in answer , there are a couple of big factors / reasons for this being true.


* My childhood was awful , I kinda knew that during and I’m certain of it now after. With physical and emotional abuse the specifics of which I won’t go into, this contributes a great deal to me not wanting any chance of perpetuating the cycle. Not that I believe I would be the same. 100% no , but because I know I haven’t come through my childhood mentally or emotionally un-tarnished. Even though no parenting is perfect , I have never felt fully equipped to parent even though biologically there wouldn’t be an issue. Which in itself is probably part of how I have been affected. A childhood such as mine leaves scars many of which have shown themselves in my personality and character , others bleeding through within relationships since.


* The second factor leads on from the first. I feel I missed out on being happy or at least content and in envy of the childhood I never received. Watching families of friends etc. and realizing my life was ‘different, and knowing now that I was almost forced to mature beyond my years because of my broken family and parents , and to speak plainly I feel perhaps rather selfishly that I want the rest of my life to be more about me and that contentment and happiness to somehow make up for what I have missed or that which has been taken from me by action or inaction.


I guess I’m also lucky enough to be sharing a life with a woman who also doesn’t want children but for different reasons otherwise because of my decision I would perhaps also have been choosing against having a relationship completely.

[RavVid]

I think it is non viable to have children as a guy because marriage is non viable with a median length of 8 years..

Soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo chose to use a surrogate to have three children which has the benefit that he is the sole parent of the children. So a family court cannot take custody away.

This is the modern way for men who value fatherhood as obviously a wife or girlfriend can take the children away from the father in the conventional method.

Cristiano Ronaldo has since knocked up his girlfriend a couple of times so hopefully that works for him as well.

I don't have Ronaldo's wealth so I'll just abstain. I have never been given to feel judged for this decision.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I’m childfree simply because I don’t want to shift my current state of reality to revolve around a helpless baby.
I don’t feel judged for it but my lifestyle also significantly differs from others as I don’t bother with dating or sex as I have no real interest in it.
I won’t say it’s impossible for me to change my mind, but several things would need to happen first, mainly getting to a place where childcare wouldn’t be so expensive.
And no, the people who choose not to have children are not being “selfish” in doing so. If anything, they’re acknowledging that if a child did live with them, it would inevitably suffer because they don’t want it.

[Anonymous]

I came to a conclusion at 16 I don’t want kids. I just do not like them and don’t want them. I can do without them, the world won’t end because of it and surely my world won’t end because of it. I’m 100% set on not having any.
What led me to that decision is the older women in my life saying they want grandkids and men saying they want to “put a baby” in me, it’s disgusting and has made me just not want kids.
Because let’s be honest a guy saying he wants to put a baby in you after the first date (not just one guy but obviously enough to make me not want a child) is just a complete turn off and nasty. It feels like the guy is preying on me.

[Agape93]

-If you are childfree by choice, why did you come to that decision?
Kids are loud, expensive, and disgusting.

-Do you feel heavily judged by others for making that choice?
Sometimes, I don't frankly care though.

-Do you honestly feel you may some day change your mind (right person, different circumstances, etc), or you're 100% set?
I'm 100% set.

[Lliam]

I never wanted kids because I didn't want to give up my autonomy. You have to dedicate your entire life to them. They are massively expensive. You have to worry about them constantly. They inevitably cause you anguish.
I don't even think they are cute.

I couldn't care less what other's think. My wife and I are happy.
We feel sorry for kids growing up these days.

[Anonymous]

I have zero issue with someone who remains childless unless it's purely out of selfishness. I mean don't get me wrong. I'm NEVER going to criticize anyone deciding NOT to have children. Children are a serious undertaking, and one that requires a FULL commitment. But let's also NOT pretend that a lot of people who decide not to have kids are deciding not to for the unborn child's sake. Most of these people are selfish people that barely even make good partners. Thank God they're not choosing to have children that they'd barely take care of as well.

[ArrowheadSW]

Child free by choice. Kids are cool but I never wanted to raise any. And there is no guarantee that they will turn out OK even if you do all of the right things. A good percentage of the people who I grew up with who have children have significant issues with them. Mental illness, drug problems, or just lack of functioning. There is no guarantee that they will “be there for you as you age”, etc. Although that is great if they are there for you, and if they do well in life.

[abc3643]

I am child-free because over 40 years ago, I predicted much of the shitstorm our world is now. I knew that I could not protect my kids from it let alone myself. Thus, the only way I knew that I could protect my kids was to not have them.

I don't worry about my kids' future but I do worry about yours. Thus, I am here.

[Berethor]

Yea childfree people are selfish, especially if their white, as the white race is going extinct.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Americans#Demographic_information

[Miristheiss]

The world, society, culturally, morally, things were better before the pill and people didn't have a choice. It was be abstinent, be promiscuous and have a "bastard" child or get married and have a family.

This, get on the pill and just sleep around just for the hell of it, marry never or at 30, have no kids or maybe one... maybe two, use abortion as birth control experiment of the last 50 years has been an utter failure.

[Twalli]

I am not passing my DNA on. I am immunocompromised and have an ASD. Any kid I have will inherit parts or all of those issues. I am not going to submit someone to what I went through without the support system my parents were able to provide to me. If my fiancée and I decide to have kids later, then we'll adopt. We don't need to procreate.

[RingOfFire]

Nature programmed humans to shun those who make no contribution to the survival of the species since survival through procreation is the most important function of any species. So that's why there is so much judgement from the rest of the human herd against individuals who do not contribute to that effort. It's natural.

[Straight2thepoint]

Sometimes that's how it should be. Some people are mature enough to understand is complexity. Some prefer loneliness attached with only selfishness. Others prefer to give it all away. Then you have the in between, those who are careless and immature. Who put children at risk.

[dwreborn]

No I dont it's your choice and you want to be sure to this isn't a cat or dog this is a human you are gonna be raising I think to many people have kids when they are not ready but if you just don't want kids that's fine by me iam not gonna judge

[DannyUk2017]

Because of the Life we living today...(and will only get worse), i don't want to bring a child in this Dystopian/Controling world that we are living today, that child will become a "slave" for the Elites.

[fantasticass]

By choice. I have never had the desire to be a parent, so having kids is zero. I'm older now, so nobody cares, but 40 years ago, I was the " weirdo" for not having kids. I'm so glad I made that decision for myself

[Kaneki05]

I don't like them, then besides that I'm not rich and I've always found irony in those who claim to love their kids would want to make them grow up in poverty.

[Kaneki05]

Oh and no I don't feel judged, no to changing mind either, also no. And if I were judged why would I care?

[Ironic_Method]

Because I like time, energy, and money. We are 100% set and life is great. Some people judge a bit, but it's hard to argue when we are happy and have do much time and money to do all the things we want.

[Nikki1989]

We are childfree because we both work 6 days a week and have a jam band that takes up spare time on weekends. We have no plans or desire to change any of that.

[Keviaha]

By choice. And i'm not as criticized as I was years ago. And I party too much in my twenties , and I felt that I wasn't mature enough to have children.

[Sal_Monella]

That would mean you have self doubt. As that singer said at the Garden Party said, you can't please everybody but you can please yourself. I actually disagree with your choice but you have free will, so be at peace with it.

[seeyounexttuesday]

The people who are choosing to be "child free" are slaves to our toxic nihilistic, narcissistic culture. They are selfish, and unfortunately will find out the error of their ways when it's too late.

[ilikemangos]

how is it selfish to NOT have a kid? wouldn't it be more selfish to put a kid into suffering?

[Anonymous]

I'm broke and sick, I'm not having to put myself in a worst position
My parents had their time and strangers aren't going to take care of me and the baby, so forget what they say

[Abbycado]

I’m child free because I’m twenty and in school. Not a hard choice.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Wasn't interested in rugrats, and I didn't care about people's opinions about my non-fatherhood.

[jamesgoldman]

My genetics are pretty awful and not worthy of perpetuation
No, especially with the health
Maybe if my genetics weren't involved

[DrPepper12]

Choice? How can anyone AFFORD a kid in the USA? No choice but self preservation and that's NOT a choice!!

[XXblack88]

Well having a kid in today's world is supper expensive I also can't see giving birth at 37.

[Staximus]

I never had kids because I worry too much, they would stress me the fuck out every time they leave the house.

[Fashionista7]

I like being able to travel in off season. That and had to help raise my cousins.

[Anonymous]

it makes me question why my taxes should go towards their social security

[qwerty2469]

No body is child free by choice. It takes a billion dollars amd a high level propaganda scheme to trick people into being childless

[bunniesrcute]

Because children are too much work and all they do is piss, shit and cry

[MasterKS]

@bunniesrcute LOL!

[TallBlonde5]

What’s happening in the world, and I can’t get a woman pregnant, nor can she get me pregnant.

[Anonymous]

No girl that I like wants me.

Girls who like me are not my type.

That's why...

[Markella7]

I tell people I become pregnant when my girlfriend get me pregnant it seems to hold them.

[MasterKS]

They consume a big time of life, save the time.

[girlyisaskinh]

Men aren't interested in me and im
Not raising a child alone

[fonduegirl]

Children are expensive and time consuming

[blackeagle007]

No children here. Not interested

[Bloodparadise]

Child birth is the opposite of sex

[MasterKS]

@bloodparadise spot on!!

[ilikemangos]

never liked kids probably never will

[Fireguy17]

Sort of.