What do you personally say to men who believe women role should be home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the house, her husband and kids?

Question

Saw a video yesterday and an elderly man said he's "old school" and that should be women’s role.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

It's pretty sad when a guy admits that he needs someone to take care of him. Wasn't he able to have a job and also feed himself, do his own laundry and dishes, and keep his place neat and clean before he got married?

It's fine if a woman wants to be a stay-at-home mom. All that matters is that she's happy with the arrangement. It's a particularly good arrangement if the couple has lots of kids.

My only concern is if she is completely dependent on his income. That means that she is a prisoner if he turns out to be an ass hole. He could control all the finances and dictate her "allowance", or threaten to leave her penniless if she doesn't comply.

I also have a major problem with guys who think they are the "head" of the household. That means that they consider women to be inferior to men and their wives subordinate. What self respecting woman or man would stoop to being treated as inferior and subordinate to their spouse?

If someone thinks that there has to be a supreme boss who makes the final decisions, they are distrustful and have an adversarial attitude. They are incapable of communication, cooperation and negotiation.

Personally, I think couples should ideally be equal partners; a team. They have mutual respect, communicate and collaborate in making important decisions, both have access to the finances and financial records, and have no secrets. They're not hedging their bets in case of divorce.

My wife and I both have income and it all goes to supporting our lifestyle and building our retirement. We both do household and gardening chores. Working together makes the work easier and take less time so that we can do things we enjoy.

Honestly, I would feel guilty sitting around while she did all the work. I'm not the kind of guy who tells her to bring me a beer while I watch TV or twiddle my thumbs with a video game. And she does more than her fair share. She's always working on some project.

I never felt like a hero or a martyr just because I had a job. It didn't mean that I was incapable of doing some of the cooking or household chores. And I don't think there is any such thing as woman's work.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Accepted Answer

I never understood why this is even considered traditional. Maybe it was traditional for the uneducated working class? It does make some sense to me if a man is slaving away at a factory or mine all day in a blue-collar job that he might need his wife to take care of almost the entirety of the domestic work.

It doesn't make sense to me for an educated class with more versatile skillsets and luxuries. After all, we can just hire maids for that if that's our ultimate desire.

In those cases, even the tradition isn't like "lord+servant" but "lord+lady". Both are rulers in their own right and both are educated and competent. The lord might have the ultimate executive decision over matters that affect the entire family but the lady is the ruler in his absence, a competent mother and leader in her own right, and most trusted advisor.

So I think that's a peon's idea of tradition. It's not a noble's idea of tradition.

ClaircognizantEmpath · Accepted Answer

Hey, i would say if this man has the means and also the respect of his partner who actually would like the life of being a home maker and mother instead of juggling being a wife, with a full time job, taking the children to school or childminders, collecting them trying to fit in the dentist and doctors and opticians and school clubs then manage during all the 13 weeks of school holidays, do the grocery shopping, cook, clean, do the laundry, feed the dog! then go girl to find that guy,,, it seems society has been narrated that nowadays both partners have to work even when they have children then the sooner they are handed over to the so called education system the better for the rulers...

whirled_up_girl · Accepted Answer

I guess if that's what women want to do I guess that's fine. I don't think that should be the only option for women in society though if they want to have a job. I work as a nurse and the profession of nursing and caregiving has been in existence for throughout time in one way or another and mostly done by women. Midwifery another profession that mainly women do has been around for thousands of years. So all the commentors saying women didn't used to work in the old days, I don't know who they thought was caring for sick or helping women to deliver babies back in the old days.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

I grew up in a family that was largely from Quaker roots. My father told me from the beginning that there were no male or female jobs. That a real man did whatever was necessary to sustain his family. He also said that the family income was a family concern and. everyone did what was necessary to provide for the family. I think that gender based responsibilities are a holdover from Roman values. When The emperor of Rome was given the ultimatum " Bring those Christians under control or your successor will " He had to organize a Church that upheld Roman social values to make sure extant Romans would join as well as unruly Christians. Of course, Childbirth and the ability to nurse children dictated a large part of the duty roster. But times have changed. My daughter did not know who that older woman was who slept with me. After she was three, I was the one who got her up and fed her and took her to daycare. My wife and I had different schedules. She had to leave earlier than I. We all did what we had to do to make it work.

WhyohWhy69 · Answer

I don’t mind if moms stay home. I personally have worked outside the home since a very young age. I work someplace that has benefits and retirement. However, when my kiddo was little I worked part time and took care of them. If my guy and I get hitched I’ll still work. I may go to part time though so I can be home to take care of him as he gets older.

As far as you demanding my only place is home, I don’t agree with that. Women have worked since Bible times at least. Part time worked well when kiddo was little.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

All I can say as long as people agree on a traditional roles & relationships and aren't being forced, mistreated, etc. then all is good. But if those men think I should be a housewife, that's a different story right there. As for starters I already live my life in the house and if I have a partner, there won't be any kids since I'm not capable. I don't want to finally be able to work and then be shoved back in the house for who knows how many years just to do chores again. How does that benefit me as an adult? The answer is: It doesn't. Plus, there's lots more to life.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

It seems okay. But now days how dudes are saying single mothers are trash and "I won't finish another dudes saved game" it doesn't seem like a smart investment to only be a stay at home mother because you can get stuck in that role and with that person if he is a pos. It's always good to be able to make your own money in case of divorce or your partner dies.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s all fine and good until the woman realizes that’s all her life amounts to. For some they are content but many of us struggle with those roles (and that being all we are). Especially when other women around us are doctors, CEOs, teachers, lawyers, etc. The old question of “oh and what do you do?” Is intimidating when you have to respond “I stay home…”

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone has preferences, you can't go around shaming people's prefernces

If a man prefers a traditional lifestyle with a traditional women being homemaker and him being breadwinner then I see nothing wrong.. there are tons of women who love this

"Modern" people should stop shaming traditional lifestyle

Anonymous · Answer

There ARE Traditional men AND women out there and they get along very well with each other

What is your freaking problem if the women are ok with it? Are you trying to be a simp?

You are in turn insulting traditional women who take care of the family and the house and raise good children

AviatorTom · Answer

If that's what she wants to do, that's fine. In most living-together relationships (including marriage), the couple usually works out a plan where they work together, regardless of who (if anyone) stays home.

Jersey2 · Answer

It worked well in my family. And it has worked well for generations. My wife told me she wanted to be a stay at home mother. I wanted a BMW. She won. It worked very well.

I just worked harder and smarter and together we raised amazing kids who are very productive and they do not have the problems that many millennials do today. I think it is a good strategy for raising a family.

nawtee_me · Answer

I once made the mistake of jokingly telling my ex wife that dishes were women’s work. She proved me right as that south paw’s natural curve hit me in the chest with the dish she was washing…. I learned my lesson about even joking about that subject.

Anonymous · Answer

Children need their mothers, most of our modern problems are a direct result of said children not having their mothers and grandmothers in those critical first years. Teaching them to bond, love, work, be honest etc, or even in the later years helping them do the same for their own children.

electromagnetic · Answer

I mean if he’s able to work and provide enough to sustain in this economy, there are some women who would be up for it.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

I'm of the opinion that one partner should be home taking care of the household. It's something a lot of carer women don't understand. If you want to be a Ceo your husband needs to be the home keeper but women don't want stay at home husband's for some reason. Likewise a successful man dosent need a girl boss at home she will just make more problems and headaches than she's worth. You can't have 2 captains on a single ship.

Samantha_Stevenson · Answer

He's just traditional , nothing wrong in that

Apple1996 · Answer

That is a woman's role so this guy is right. Remember that older people are very wise. They know a thing or two about life

Simslover92 · Answer

I don't mind it. I'm old fashioned and traditional so I wouldn't mind being a stay at home wife.

IceCreamSandwich · Answer

How you run your own life is your own business, just don't try to force that lifestyle onto everybody else.

gorydetails · Answer

I would say I can't understand how women have been brainwashed into believing that running a house is demeaning work.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I don't say anything to them. It's up to a man and his wife to discuss how they live their lives. It has nothing to do with me!

Kelley1 · Answer

Tell them, you are glad there are still men like him.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

nothing... I don't care about such opinions and their owners

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Its the best natural order of things for most women the way I see it.

Anonymous · Answer

They're allowed to believe that but I'm allowed to not be with them.

SotiCoto · Answer

I don't say anything to them, as they're troglodytes... and since there are legal consequences for killing them, I just have to avoid them.

Hanrej · Answer

Fine as long as he's willing to do the role a man traditionally has. Paying for everything, initiating dates and intimacy as well as fixing everything that's broken.

turnpost · Answer

Lay off the tik tok. Stop believing every dumb video you see.

Sabretooth · Answer

I saw it, too. while I agree that men are meant to lead... however, it doesn't sound like he respects it - it's a responsibility and not a privilege to exploit.

Unit1 · Answer

Nothing. I'm not going to touch that shit, so it's not gonna stink.

Anonymous · Answer

if it's coming for her own choice and not bc she's obliged to do it , then it's fine , i personally like to stay at home more than work

handsomelad70 · Answer

I'd say,"This is 2024, not 1924 !!!"

whistlingwh0res · Answer

that's fairytale which don't exist in real world.

alice55 · Answer

everyone is free to think what they want

Anonymous · Answer

I am sick of arguing with them they are not in my life and not my problem lmao

NathanDavis · Answer

they're not men...

provokeesmokee · Answer

I don't say anything, I just laugh at them.

laly520 · Answer

its his own life so none of my business

MushyKiwi · Answer

go make yourself a sandwich

OtterMan68 · Answer

Good luck finding a good woman

Anonymous · Answer

i dont talk to them at all

lightbulb27 · Answer

evolve.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say I agree with them.

What do you personally say to men who believe women role should be home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the house, her husband and kids?

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What do you personally say to men who believe women role should be home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the house, her husband and kids?

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