Do you think things would have been different for you if you had grew up with a father in the household?

[Simslover92]

Despite having a not so good father, I believe if I had a good father in the household, my life would have turned out somewhat different.

For one, I wouldn't have probably grew up poor. I wouldn't have probably developed depression or been as depressed. And I probably wouldn't have slept with the first guy that showed me attention. I would have probably still been a virgin or at least lost it to my current boyfriend who will be my husband some day soon.

Having a father in the household is so important and imperative for a child's development. Without a father in the household, a child may grow up to have many negative effects like the ones I went through. I wish I had a father growing up but I didn't.

It's especially important for boys to grow up with a father in the household. Fathers can only teach what a mother can't teach which is how to be a man which has become harder in today's society.

Here's an article on the consequence of fatherlessness:

fathers.com/the-consequences-of-fatherlessness/

Updates

14 d

https://youtu.be/cj2INIq5fHQ?si=s-EjVSlVga5In3Kr

[CriticalCatDad123]

I still can't post links but another great video about this topic is "How Feminism Fails Boys" on the John Stossel youtube channel. He has an interview with Warren Farrell.


"The rate of fatherless households has increased partly because of welfare programs that, says Farrell, "tear the family apart by giving the money to mothers when fathers are absent, and not giving money to mothers when fathers are present."


Lott asks why would fatherless households hurt boys more? "Boys tend to not have as many skills at developing friendships, at developing emotional connections," Farrell says. "So when the family connection breaks apart, it affects them more profoundly than it does their sisters."


Why would lack of a father cause problems? Farrell says fathers are critical for several non-intuitive reasons. One is roughhousing, which teaches kids boundaries. Fathers roughhouse more than mothers, and when they do, "the father is creating a bond with the child, so the children don't mind discipline... the discipline is the price they pay for more fun with dad."


Many people think that mothers tend to be better parents because women are, on average, more empathetic and pay more attention to a child's needs. But Farrell says that by itself is not enough, because, "an empathetic parent does not create an empathetic child. An empathetic parent is someone who's always thinking of the children's needs, which teach the children to always have his or her needs thought of."


Requiring a child think of others' needs is what actually build empathy, Farrell says.


Finally, Farrell says that mothers are more likely to express their love for a child by doing things like homework for the kid. They're more likely to engage in "helicopter parenting", which leads to overly-dependent kids."

[CriticalCatDad123]

Its sad all people are getting from your poll is how bad father's are...

[Simslover92]

Yeah I see that. That's not what I was trying to bring awareness to. I was hoping people would agree with the fact that fathers need to be in the household. And what you have posted here on Farrell is so true. I will also check out the video!

[CriticalCatDad123]

I bet if I were to have made this kind of poll about fatherlessness I’d have been immediately demonized and told that mothers matter too if not more so.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I don’t mean to say this in a mean way at all but must be nice to receive positive feedback just because you’re a woman 😅

[CriticalCatDad123]

I commend you for trying to do the right thing, @Sinslover92 🙂 Even when no one will understand what’s actually attempting to be said…

[Simslover92]

Thank you. I was hoping people would see the importance of having a father in the household, but people are too brainwashed to see the truth. And as for you making the poll, I hate to say it but you might be right. I wish that wasn't the case here but people here are so blinded by the truth and feminism.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Blinded by the truth? What truth would that be?

[Simslover92]

That fathers need to be in the household and that men's rights are being overshadowed by women's rights.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Ah, ok. For a second there you made me think you meant the truth was something that had to do with feminism.

[Simslover92]

No definitely not.

[CriticalCatDad123]

That’s good 😪😅

[Anonymous]

My father was there, but similar to you it may have been different if he'd been a better father.

I may not have developed depression, or some possible ptsd symptoms... I may have avoided the destructive relationships, and been able to have a healthier one now. May have even been able to avoid abandoning my faith for several years.

[Simslover92]

Oh wow I'm sorry. I wish you had had a better father. I did get to experience having a good stepfather in the household which is why I posed the question and put the article down on fatherlessness. I believe it's very important to have a good father in the household. One that will prevent you from having all the things you and I both experienced.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, good parents are vital. My father-in-law is not what I'd consider the best father, but he is good in all the areas my father was lacking. I'm lucky that he was around at least part of the time for my wife, so in ways we are lacking the other of us is able to help with, and we're both getting more balanced over time. It's strange when having a dad that doesn't care enough and a dad that cares too much can cause very similar bad results.

[Simslover92]

Indeed it is.

[IslaTheWitch]

It's not so easy... Drama Queen has an attentive and loving father but autism ruined her teenage years... even if she was hospitalized on psychiatric wards, the diagnosis was every time different... a year ago... her therapist suggested autism and it was life changing suggestion...

but in the meantime Drama Queen lost her virginity in age of 13, was drinking, taking drugs, a few times almost succeeded with suicide attempts... all of it having loving parents and siblings and the rest of the family...

I moved hell and earth to help her... and she is well now... returning to normality, planning her future...

Having loving and attentive family or father in the household in particular, is not a guarantee for successful childhood and great start in adulthood... but it helps fighting with obstacles for sure...

[godfatherfan]

I firmly believe that who you end up being depends on who raises you. If you have a solid family behind you, a mother, father, grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins... you will be a better and more well rounded person. I grew up with a large family. My first cousins and I grew up more like brothers and sisters then cousins (there are 6 of us total). My Aunt lived only 8 blocks from my house growing up, and we often spent time at my other aunts. My closest Aunt and Uncle were like secondary parents.
That doesn't mean single parents, even parents that don't have a lot of family surrounding them, can't raise great kids. But it is harder.
All this said, it doesn't let the child off the hook. Just because you had a shitty parent, doesn't mean it is a blank check to be a horrible person. You make the life you want. It will make it harder for that person though.

[NathanDavis]

they would have been different without a father... with a different father, without a mother... with a different mother

with no parents at all... with different parents entirely

sure, it would be different one way or another, for good and bad, both...

[Bklynbadboy12]

All things considered you turned out pretty damn good your and amazing woman and friend. Kudos to you mom she did an amazing job! I was lucky my dad was hands on my mom to so I had a great life

[Simslover92]

Thank you. That means a lot but I could have turned out even better. I'm in a lot of debt and I have a lot of issues, issues that I think I wouldn't have had if I had a father in my life.

[Anonymous]

I am lucky to have always had (and still have) a good father. He's the best person I know. I'm sorry your father was not all that great.

[Simslover92]

Thank you. I luckily had a great stepfather who taught me the importance of having a male in the household. So glad you had and still have a great father.

[Opinion Owner]

OK, I'm glad to hear it. Thanks.

[Deltanteiger]

Yup. For MY dad's case, it would be WORSE.
Let me recap for ya...

My dad is a total douchebag.
He couldnt hold onto a job till today and he is totally untrustworthy about ANYTHING. Sooo, i am thankful that i have my mom.

[AviatorTom]

I had a great father... and mother. I can't answer the question.

[Agape93]

If @worldscolide or one similar, I'd probably have turned out differently

[Anonymous]

I think that I would have been better off without. I know my sister would have been.