The meaning of life on this planet. It has to be to experience it. To try to understand it From 1 years old until your 18 you have a family parents brothers sisters and there rules they raise you the way they do because it's all they know.. or it's the way they were raised Or they might try to raise you the best they can as if you are a pet. There is know guide. And some parents who live life with the understanding ok I have to give this person food and shelter and they will be ok. But life is all about them Then you have the angry control freak parents. They dont know how to parent so they make it all about themselves and they yell and scream and tell you what to do depending on there mood then you have parents that it's just a big fake show they put on and you have parents that do love you they just dont know how to parent ir how to love you
No matter what a s kid you have 18 years to figure it out. And then your on your own. You can keep all the beliefs you have that you were raised with or you can look deep within and say this is bullshit. It's your choice When 18 comes we walk out that door we either stay the same or we chsnge it. I was lucky at 5 I was told my dad was my step dad . from that moment on I wanted to know who I was. From 5 to ten if I did something wrong I was beat with a belt. Parents divorced at 10 at 12 my mom got married again and from 5 to 10 I realized you don't tell somebody you love them and then being with a belt at 12 her new husband grabbed ahold of me trying to put his hands on me and I said oh no you don't that's never going to happen again at 16 I moved out at 16 in one day I had a lot to learn so far all I know is that if your kid does something wrong you don't lay your hands on them you communicate. And then from 5 to 16 always wondering who you were You start reading people because you always want to know if that's your parents are not You watch people the way they live and how they are loved if they are loved can you pay attention to all that because something just wasn't right while being brought up
So I have to say I would not change anything because everything that I have experienced has brought me to the place I am today I had children I did not raise my voice I did not raise my hand they got a very short talk it was to the point and then and then they were sent on their way to go have fun respect whatever you're doing If they did something wrong they didn't get something taken away from them they didn't get disciplined they got more responsibility because that's what happens in life Life is something we all get caught up in and sometimes you don't think past your nose some things you need to know the answers to I'm one of those people for me life is an experience whatever you have been dealt it's how you deal with it that matters you can whine you can complain you can be miserable or you can change it are you can use it for an excuse but whatever you do just remember whatever you do in life you're going to pass it on And whatever you pass on knowingly or unknowingly it's going to affect your child one way or the other
So when I see the questions on here do you love yourself do you like yourself. Well if you don't. please don't have any kids Because if you don't love yourself and you don't care and you are selfish that's who you are child is going to be
My belief is that we are all one every single one of us we are all just one the we're never going to get there when you are an angry person and you teach your kid to be angry because you're too fucking lazy to grow the fuck up Think about it Anyway can I answer your question LOL I would like to say I would not change a thing but that would be a lie because I have changed everything when we are born we are all given a gift of choice we get to choose who we want to be by the things we say and do I want my experience to be however it's going to be because if I don't like it I'm going to change it
0
0 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Parents have one of the toughest jobs in the world. It’s not easy and any job who does their best to raise their kid is worthy of honor and respect.
With that said parents are human beings with their own flaws. My dad apologized to me in my 20s for beating me as a kid. Tbh he wasn’t that bad and there were only 2-3 times were it crossed the line. Also I know he didn’t enjoy it. I never had a grudge against him. He’s a good man
My mother was a different story. She was extremely controlling, often emotionally abusive and a few times physically abusive. She was raised in a tough household and she had unresolved issues. But she on the other hand doesn’t believe she ever has to apologize for anything. THAT made me angry. Very angry. I haven’t spoken directly to her in years. While you can’t change the past you can reconcile it.
You are going to make mistakes raising your kid. A good parent has be an authority. However when a parent really crosses the line they do need to own up to occasionally being wrong.
Wow, this is an amazing question and the reason why I like this website so much. The answer is no, I would not like to raise my kids the way my parents raised me. My parents raised me in a way where one person was the beautiful one, one was the ugly one, one was the good one, one was the evil one. No matter what I did, I was the "evil" one. I had my clothes stolen, I was the "evil one" for whining and complaining that my sister stole my clothes. When my sister did something bad, I was the evil one who should have said this or that to her. I was the ugly one even though lots of boys gave me attention. It made my sister mad when boys paid attention to me, or when I was successful in life (like got a job or get good grades), so then she would say "how is this supposed to make ME happy?", and then I had to dumb myself down and ask questions like I was stupid and I tried to act like an unloved ugly person so my sister would feel and be happy. My life was lived to make my sister happy, and it was judged and manipulated and controlled by my mother.
I would NOT raise my children that way. Let's all be kind to one another. Let's connect with everyone and lets acknowledge each kids feelings and encourage each child to do the right thing.
Whenever I cleaned the house my mom would tell my sister "thank you for cleaning the whole entire house". It was like I was not even there.
Whenever my sister made the bedroom messy and I got angry, my mom would just ignore my feelings and say something like "you're the most ugly and evil person in the world, I wish I would have killed you when you were just born" blah blah blah.
Now I sort of treat people like how my mom treated me, like they are not really there. Like they don't really matter Like they are just someone to "use" and not an actual person who has feelings and wants to be loved.
My mom was a real narcissist. My sister became one too. It's so sad.
Yes and no. Overall no as it’s the classic case of ‘it made me who I am’ but certain traumas I’d definitely not wish on anyone ( I won’t go into detail as to not trigger anyone)
Things I’d wish were maybe different: - being neglected by my mum, the violent and aggressive nature, names I’ve been called, alcohol and drugs by her and her violent bfs
- not being so spoiled later on by my dad, felt bad for what I experienced and I felt like I had everything ‘too easy’ later on in my early teens, clothes, restaurants etc. Again not being left by him to have so many caretakers for me whilst he was out
-dad no being so overprotective in general. It’s not normal to not allow a teen to touch a plug at 16 because you’re scared they’ll hurt themselves or see your friends without having to text every hour and FaceTime to prove who you’re with (led to various problematic and rebellious behaviours later on)
But overall I guess you need to live things to learn from them, just wouldn’t wish the first part on anyone and seccond part wasn’t ideal perhaps but not complaining as I was fortunate
I wouldn’t say I had the happiest childhood, but my parents did the best they could at the time.
I appreciate them for what they could do for me, what they gave me, the morals they taught me, the person they moulded me to be etc.
Of course things could have been better in many ways, but you cannot go back and change things. And you are who you are because of these things. Who knows how you would have turned out to be if things had of been different. How your life may have twisted.
I believe I’m a good person. I treat people well. I’m kind, caring, empathetic and put others before myself. I know right from wrong. I’m not judgmental. So I have good building blocks. And these I have gotten because of my parents, and how they raised me or things from my past, be it things maybe o didn’t like so I don’t and won’t do.
Either way, I try not to dwell to much. It doesn’t change the past. You can only learn from it. Make it better you and those around you.
Yes, and I’d want to change it with my kids. To be more open to them. Not be afraid to make mistakes because I know my parents would have my back. Separate religion and family affairs. Have faith in God but don’t act like normal things are ungodly and so rather than teaching my children I leave them in the hands of the Internet, predators etc teach my kids when to be respectful to older people and when to draw the line and stand up for yourself. I just want them to know that no mattter what they can always come to me for help. Because I don’t feel the same way about my parents. I love them but I can’t even tell my mom I have a boyfriend let alone talk about sex. She’ll get mad and start telling me those things are ungodly. Like how did she have kids then? Or get married to someone way older than she is 😂
Boomer women largely dropped the ball imho on raising the kids to a better standard like previous generations. Lots of us millennials had shitty mothers and many absent fathers. My mother was a useless whore and I truly mean that in every sense. Look idc what anyone says about "she's your mother you need to respect her" NO! You don't know who she was/is and what she's done to her children. My sister nearly died 3 times under her care, she cheated, and she physically abused me horribly as a child and tried to drive a wedge betw me and my father. I'm glad I was out at 11. It would have been best if I never knew her. My grandparents kicked ass! They were big time role models and they were from The Greatest Generation aka Generation Badass if you ask me! My dad was also awesome and I love the hell out of him. I love the values my grandparents taught me and I will teach them to my kids too, should I have any
I'll be the first to say that I had a really screwed up childhood and the choices my mother made where the main cause of it. Despite that I wouldn't change any of it. Because changing it would change me. Over the last several years I made myself my main focus. Doing things like finding my true self, working through my issues and accepting that I can't go back and fix anything. Changing how I was raised and what I experienced growing up would undo all the work I did. So the answer isn't just no. It's hell no.
I can't change the way I was raised, I was a beaten kid whose dad then left us for the town bike and her child. we relied on tins of food from the local church, walking to my grandads house to use his washing machine because we had no money to afford them. the stigma of divorced parents being called bastards by peers who bullied us and had great delight knowing my dad left us for another woman and her kid. So it fucks me off about this white privellage shyte I read online by fuckwits.. As far as I'm aware I've not walked out on my children, beaten them or left them in poverty.
I think my parents mostly did a good job, compared to my friends parents. I can think of some things that I would do differently, take the more gentle parenting approach, not that my parents were mean or abusive their techniques just clearly didn't work, like making my sister sit in the hallway because she wouldn't eat her dinner didn't do anything but make us have to listen to her screaming while eating... And has led to her now having an unhealthy relationship with food same as forcing me to finish everything on my plate even though I really didn't like it, made me have unhealthy habits with food. So yeah there's aspects that I would do differently.
For the most part my parents weren't there for me so I basically raised myself
When my mom was around as in actually attempting to be somewhat involved with me and or my life she was an absolute b**** about it
During my teenage years my mother and father were separated and while my father was trying to raise me my mother was letting my sister try to raise me which my sister hated me so you know that was very smart
All in all I think almost nothing about how I was raised actually went well so I changed just about everything about my childhood
My dad had a job, an independent one, so he could not take time off work and worked 7 days a week. Paid well and to get out of it he has taken a huge pay cut.
But while he had it he worked a lot and couldn’t do stuff on weekends or go on trips. I would change that, have him be able to be around. He also drinks until he is drunk just about every night, I think he longs for the past.
Still a great dad but really if I had the ability I’d give him hangovers so he can’t drink so much haha (he doesn’t get hangovers no matter what).
Try saying that to him. Like not in a way that seems like an attack but just say it.
I'm a dad with a substance issue that I've had for nearly 15 years. Doesn't impact my parenting or whatever right now but if one of my sons said something to me about it... I'd stop and reevaluate a bit more seriously.
I would. I grew up with an extremely strict father. Could never do what my friends used to do as teenagers. I used to have so many questions in my mind that eventually had to find out by myself. My father had this belief that if you don’t talk about it they will never know which is actually very wrong because the more he would say No the more I would want to do it and that’s how I initiated my sex life at 15 looking back I was so young and I don’t want my kids to experience the same. I don’t want my kids to look at me as if I am the authority. This also caused a huge distance between me and my father I don’t trust him and never ask his opinion on anything.
I think the only thing I would change is removing the religion from the home.
Forced my siblings and I to find things out the hard way when it came to taboo subjects like other religions, drugs, anything sexual, etc. There was no conversation about it. My mom's followed the Bible strictly and my dad more lax. That eventually led to their divorce and my dad turning into a new age hippie kinda guy and my mom get even more involved with the church than she had before. As far as I see it Christianity has been a disaster in my family.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I think some things - the major things, would probably be about the same.
I think my focus would be on teaching the classics of film, writing, music, etc. At least at first.
My dad was mentally and physically abusive. My mom was slightly mentally abusive, though luckily not much physically. I would hope to God I’d not do that to a kid. I wouldn’t always want to go too easy on them, but I would like to make the home some sort of place to come home to and not always have to worry. It wouldn’t be fun all the time, that’s not life - and I’m not obsessed with “being their friend” or “being the cool dad.” If they were doing something out of line, they’d be punished. But I’d want them to be able to come to me.
My parents biggest mistake was their toxic relationship created mostly by my mother, It hasn't given me a good view of relationship and marriage. If you can't raise the kids in a peaceful environment, separate, your not doing the kids any favors staying together.
No, absolutely not... My two sisters and I were extremely fortunate in having the most loving and cherished upbringing any children could ever wish for.
Likewise now we have our own children, we are trying our very best to copy our wonderful parents examples.
My mother was an abusive sack of sh*t and most of my depression and insecurities stem from her (all of them except the height). I 100% would change who raised me. I'd been better off in a foster home, assuming the parents loved me. Cause I was never loved by my birth mother, and never knew my father.
I would tweak it a little but definitely keep the main elements the same.
I can say my parents did an outstanding job raising me but just like anyone I'm not without flaws but being able to see them and work on fixing them is the true power that they gave me.
Yes, I would. My parents won't be getting any medals for their parenting, however the best parenting advice my dad gave me was, " It's your job to be a better parent than me and it was my job to be better than my parents." The bar was set pretty low and I'm definitely excelling.
Oh I would for sure. I would give more love to myself, I would teach myself what respect is, what care is. I would be more strict with certain things that I learned while growing up and more loose with others. Basically my parents did a awful job raising me so I had to learn how to raise myself.
Most definitely!! My parents were parents but I don't think my mom wanted kids but in the 70s that is what was expected of her. There was no motherly love from her. Although cuz of her I was a better mother and my boys have always known how much I love them!! Also, I was reared in a very religious setting. I was very protected and sheltered. Led to me being very naive as an adult. Great question!!!
I wouldn’t change a thing about myself but for my kids I would. Some things I would change and other things I wouldn’t. I would encourage more hobbies that I think could turn into universal skills for their future and give them certain more liberties but with responsibilities too. I want them to be happy and successful regardless of their path
The only thing I would of changed is that I wish my mom gave me more chores and taught me more responsibility. My mom never made me clean anything as a kid, not even my own room. So when I got older and it was time to be a responsible adult and clean up after myself, I struggled with it bc I was so used to having it done for me.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Definitely I’d do it all over but with parents this time who won’t abandon their child after only 5 years and a mother who won’t get so drunk she turns a blind eye to her alleged friend molesting her child and a dad who wasn’t a cheater who was already married and doesn’t hate his child so much that the only words I can remember him saying to me before I went to the orphanage was he wish I was dead because the mother only had him to get free money even though the kid never saw a dime and she left him freezing and starving in a house with rats and no power for months while she splurged all the child support living it up
Over all no, I would not... there is some tweaks I would make, but my parents did a great job. All of us kids are stable, responsible and not entitled. We have good work ethic, and are successful in life.
Yeah, I would've rather had dad appreciate me, give me the time I needed to learn stuff, rather than just having him jump all over me for incredibly stupid reasons, trust me more rather than blaming everything on me even though it wasn't me and I told him so.
Yes, I would change the way I was raised... Growing up in a family with just me and my sister I was the oldest with her being like one year younger than me by just 6 months but there were things that should have never happened with the way we dressed at bedtime me in my boxers shorts and my sister wore this short nighty when I look at things now what was the matter with my parents why was this allowed to go on we should have worn long pajamas but it didn't happen.
Would've liked to been raised in a good neighborhood. I'd rather be one of the white boys from the suburbs pretending to be from the hood, then geniunely be from the hood, get shot, witness the murder of my friend, been jumped a few times, family struggling with bills, etc. My mom is extremely narcissistic, and my teens were spent with serious emotional issues as well.
If I were raising children today it would be the same way I were raised, I had a supported, but disciplined up bringing, with firmly in place borders, but allowed the freedom to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes and be held responsible for the consequences of those mistakes. The person I am to day is because of that up bringing, I would not change anything.
Maybe some people will think this extreme but whatever. I'm not really planning to have kids. If did tho, I wouldn't want to be thier exclusive parents. A group of young, competent, adults would raise them together. Cause I'm not trying to stay married to the 'love of my life' for 20+ yes and go through all that codependency bullshit. They need multiple adult role models not just two authoritarian douchebags who try to tell then how to live their life. Diversity and Variety is key.
Yes , My mom forced me to be in these crazy stupid pagent beauty contest and I hate it. I'm not an abject. I believe my kids have a voice and their opinions matter I would not forced them to do things they don't want to do.
No, because the way I was raised made me into who I am. That being said, if I'm ever going to have children of my own, I won't raise them the way I was raised. Because, hopefully, they will turn out better than I did.
The only radical change I would make is that the communication and relatabilty between my father and I be made much better... he had so much more to offer me and I had so much more to learn from him. On my part, I wish I had given him more and better opportunity.
Definitely. My parents were both bad parents, and they never learned how to be better parents. They dished out the discipline, but rarely expressed love and guidance.
Wouldn’t change a thing! Awesome parents and awesome siblings that gave me the world. I intend to do the same with my kids hopefully in a year or two !
Till I was a teen I was raised the way I wish I had raised... as a teen I was raised very badly... my teen years I was forced to go to church, mentally abused and scared to be myself... I came out as bi to my parents at 18... at 19 I realized I'm pansexual... my mom's accepted it but doesn't like it... I wish she was loving and accepting...
My Mom and Dad are narcissists. I've spent a lot of time in therapy trying to learn how to deal with that. It would have been nice if they weren't narcissists so I wouldn't have all these issues.
Well, yes, I would. My dad was a chain smoker and drank too much and was abusive to my mother. I should have killed him when I was about 5 years old. LOLOL
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I was raised completely wrong like most people
I didn't have bad parents but my GOD are they parents slaves to the satanic system while me I can see through the bull shit
which is why I avoid society and playing their stupid game
I don't care about money like most people and life has to end no matter what
I get it, Dude. I have a very similar viewpoint of the nonsense the system promotes or the way it measures success and whilst individually people think they are empathetic or good a lot of suffering still exists but that isn't a priority, cuz people gotsta be so cool all the time with their shiny things cuz it's got to have like the bacon on it Maan, and then the cheese dripping, yeah maan. Void of empathy in part because the obsession with one upping and fitting in is so deeply engrained, but individually know they should help.
Anyway if you get super bored you can come to Thailand and help me take care of the stray dogs.
In a way I think you're kind of lucky because this will be the last it better be anyway the last years where suffering really does exist because of greed or exploitation 30-40 years that's not going to be a thing I'm content on dying knowing that I at least did something rather than follow an endless path of nonsensical indulging I don't know how to say it but something similar to that. Good Day
I hated how I was raised when I was a child because my parents were so strict. Today I appreciate how I was raised because of all of the Foundation Principles that came from it like Respect and Manners!
When I was little I wasn't allowed to hang out with neighborhood kids, had no contact with my father's side of the family and was generally deprived socially which wasn't good so thats what id change
A few things I would changed like I needed more discipline and a bit of more guidance but overall I would leave it the same because it turned the best way for me possible and made me into the man I'm today which I'm proud of.
Always wondered how I would have turned out if O was raised by any other family. People who wonder these, had something they were missing from their childhood, something money can't by.
My Dad was a mean SOB, I hated my childhood. It didn't start to live until the USAF at 17 years of age. My dad would get mad if his kids were having fun.
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Anonymous(36-45)+1 y
+1 y
