I have to agree with you.
My parents put so much pressure on me to get good grades. My mom would often say once you have an A there's no way to go but down, which had me terrified to even get a B. I was cyber schooled through middle and high school which did not help the matter because I got no break, there was no separation between home and school.
Yeah I got good grades, was 3rd in my class, was inducted into the honor society and made the dean's list in college... but at the cost of my mental health, social life, sleep schedule.
I was so focused on being successful in school that I never planned for what I wanted to do after I graduated and I'm still so lost.
I know they meant well. Neither of them did well in school - they both admit to rarely attending, my mom was 200 something out of her 300 person class and my dad dropped out. They just wanted me to do better than them, but it really didn't help me.
Otherwise they were pretty great and I am lucky to have them.
As I’ve got older I realise that if I wished for a different upbringing then i would not be where I am and who I am today! And I finally like myself!
Id remove the extreme emotional abuse that occured in my childhood (not prior to adoption, I think that the abuse then was fundamental for my development, it was what forced me down the path I went down so despite being bad it was for the best over all) and teen years by my adoptive parents. The constant self doubt and criticism turned me into a deer in headlights for quite some time and as a result I didn't get to do the things I wanted to because i was paralyzed by the doubt they instilled. Would be nice to get a do over in that regard.
I would make sure my bullies from Middle School / High School would have been brought to justice and serve their day in Court and I would even sue the School District for not doing more to help me... I went to the Guidance Counselor Office all the time and they would not help me and even I went to the Assistance Principals Office they would not help me so these are things I would want change also my Father was verbally abusive so I would have got justice on my Father for mistreating us the way he did with being verbally abusive?
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If I could change anything about the manner in which I was raised it would. I would change the way my mom wanted us to think before we made choices and take in consideration other people and how they might or might not be affected by our decisions. She also told us to be aware of the possible consequences of our choices.
The reason I would want to change these aspects of my childhood is I am way too sensitive and and empathetic to other people and their situations. Life would be so much easier if I didn't care as much.
I pretty much had a horribly abusive mother and was raised in a horrendous household. Though the physical fights stopped once I got old enough to outweigh her, like at around 13 or so. So yeah, if I could change one thing about how I was raised, it'd be to have some actual frickin' loving caring parents! I've literally never been loved before, if that matters for anything.
My parents would put pressure on me to be a certain way. But I am my own person and some of my values, beliefs and character are inevitably going to be different. As I am older now, I've learned to stand up for myself and build the courage to be who I really wanna be.
I'd have loved to have had a mentally healthy mother. I think if I had a mom who wasn't an abusive narcissist who ruined my father's life, raised me to think having boundaries was "disrespectful" and who cost my dad his financial future, my life would have been so much better.
Not just my life, but my dad's life.
My parents were really poor so we were not treated as very equal to the society. They also did not have money to apply me to extra activities.
However, I was kid again, I would join scouts. It would be something probably helping me to grow into a much more fulfilled man having a feeling of community.
If I could change anything about it I would have liked to have my dad to be in my life more. I missed a lot of key learning experiences with him and lost a lot of opportunities to grow as a person with him and I see that guilt and regret in his face when I tell him i dont know how to do things or when i talk about guy things that i didn't get to experience
For them to be more concerned about my stuff like other parents. I aways used to feel like a black sheep when my grandfather came for my dance and music classes instead of my mom. I couldn't even concentrate when i saw all those moms standing there and mine wasn't there. But it only hurts little old me. Now i am kinda thankful they didn't end up caring about each and everything about my life like other parents
I would have liked it if my parents let me get dirty and play rough. My mother didn't like it when we got dirt on our shirts and pretended we were little ladies or like that.
Also they were not emotionally supportive, I couldn't talk about my problems because they never built trust between us, they never asked anything or just talked between them, and made me stay silent if I interrupted a movie they were watching, so in the end I got fed up with that crap and never told them anything.
I'm scared to change the way I was raised, but it would be really cool if my mother was never an alcoholic so that I didn't have to suffer from trauma. I am more concerned with the bullying I went through during elementary though..
For me, my dad was a verbal abuser. So having more peace with my dad with him stepping up to help the family... it's possible he would still be with mom and still alive if he had made better choices with us
I first lived with my mom when she returned from war. My wish would be for her to have not been too prideful to seek counseling for PTSD and alcoholism and taken the anger out on me. She is better now but my teen years were rough due to it.
my parents... cos they are total scum and abusers...
there were many many many days i hoped i never woke up the next day, and other days where i hoped i would have become orphaned
I hardly have anything I would change. I had great parents and a good childhood. The only thing I would change would be to have been raised in the country with a lake and some forests to go exploring.
That I was raised with a strong belief in God’s justice - my life has been delayed by decades because of the moral disorder my parents tried to train me in
My parents to be more concerned with my own well being and giving me advice and suggestions over what i want to do as a career rather than them going on about their bs and have them not compare me to their friend's sons or daughters around me age.
being taught to socialize more instead of focusing so much on grades, i believe i probably wouldve spend more time socializing more than ill ever use most of the things i was taught in school
I would of took the abuse we suffered at the hands of my"father"-although don't deserve that title-out or at least just took him out...
My parents not beating me for stuff I have no control over. They say that you sleep walk when you are stressed out when younger. Let's say my parents caught me a few times doing that because of what they did to me
Take more opportunities that I didn't the first time around.
Take up the drums as well as the piano.
Have less attention be paid to absolute perfection.
To have parents who didn’t blame all their fights and arguments on me and have it get to the point where they would scream in my face and even get physical..
yeah that’s too much information.
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