I know that depending on your age here, you grew up without a phone. But many of my generation grew up with one.
And I remember at school in my class I was the only girl who didn't have a phone. And that made me really angry at the time.
In fact, even when they allowed me to have a phone, it was just an old one and only allowed when I was away at school or with friends, so I could call them if there was a problem.
My parents forbade me from having a phone until I was 16 years old. Do you think that was too extreme on their part?
My parents gave me one of those cheap track phones in middle school for the same purpose. And I wasn't allowed to tell anyone I had it. One time the superintendent came and confiscated everyone's phones, which thinking about it now, I think he had no right to, but the teacher somehow missed mine during the bag search😂
I finally got a regular one in high school, but my dad was cheap, so I only had an old fashioned flip phone that couldn't do shit😂, and he finally got me a 200 texting limit until much convincing.
One time he got mad 'cuz I exceeded my limit and I told him, "I had a group project with 7 different people I had to constantly communicate with. I told you to get me unlimited texting, so that's on you."
I then told him one of my professors and these guys from Myanmar were laughing at me, because I was the only one in class who still had a flip phone.
He finally ended up getting the whole family smart phones with unlimited data after his co-workers tried to send him pictures of plans and they weren't going through😂
I didn't have a cell phone until I was 39. No, it's not too extreme. The only good reason to have one now is for emergencies given that there is a paucity of payphones. When I was your age, if you got into a jam and needed to call someone, you used a payphone or borrowed a landline phone from someone generous enough to let you come into their home or establishment and let you use their phone.
For context, watch the beginning of The Rocky Horror Picture Show from 1975.
I don’t think so. I was like 15 when I first got mine. It was an lg tracfone I think. All my friends had cellphones already too. At that time the sliding keyboard ones were popular. It didn’t really bother me though, people text each other often, but they still hung out with me and had long ass conversations with me on the house phone. Even at 21 I feel like people didn’t use their cell phones as much unless they were FaceTiming. There wasn’t much internet browsing on our phones then.
I understand your frustration, and peer pressure sucks. But honestly, I didn't get a phone until I was seventeen, and I can say from experience you really don't 'require' one before then, and it won't damage you to go without one.
I understand where you are coming from. It was the peer pressure that bothered you. Kids probably made fun of you and that would be really painful for a kid. I can relate. Peer pressure is everything at that age.
But, in reality, you didn't need a phone. Those brats didn't need phones, either. They were just status symbols; expensive toys.
I have to say that I side with your parents. You might not understand that, but phone culture, access to the internet, apps, camera phones, constant messaging, etc., is detrimental.
I'm not saying that stuff can't be handy. But people, especially kids, abuse it because it is designed to be addictive. And they can access stuff that they shouldn't.
Too many people walk around these days staring at their phones instead of experiencing the real world around them. They feel like they are connected to something but, in reality, they are isolating themselves and missing out on life.
I didn't have a phone until 17 years old and my first phone was a flip phone that had 20 text messages a month and paying per minute for calls.
I know the generations are different, but I genuinely think it's healthier for kids to not have phones up until a certain age. It helps them not to be addicted and know how to live life without it. I know you sometimes can get left out of friends activities and conversations because of it, but I think overall the benefits outweigh the negatives. I would probably give my kids a phone around 13 in this day and age, but to each their own. There's no black and white in life and your parents did what they think is best for you.
Well a local newspaper has began a campaign yesterday to take mobiles away from under 16's. This is mostly because of bullying resulting in suicides.
It is a sensationalist tabloid rag but it has got a track record of campaigning for social change and succeeding ( generally over a long period). So I think your parents might nodding 'very wise of Australia' in a couple of years.
There was a young girl complaining of the same thing here and particularly that she didn't get affirmations like other girls got daily.
Frankly I don't think women can handle the like button.
There is academic work that indicate that men tend to not believe compliments whilst women gobble them down and fish for more to become Vulnerable Narcissists. It is along the lines of too much sugar giving you diabetes.
So yeah, take away phones from under 16's but lets take away the like button on all social media - at least from women.
I was denied to along with all my family members of my family. And that was back in the day when the internet had not quite taken off. It is less extreme these days because of the harmful content out there. For instance rape culture is being fueled by porn.
In my home town these mother was approached by a group of school girls who said they were going to rape her daughter. Nothing like that occurred when i was in school. I mean you kinda expect a minority of boys to come out with something like that but girls coming out with it.
There is a lot of nasty stuff out there and youngsters can easily end up being exposed to it without knowing at first.
No, I didn't get a phone until I was 18. All my friends in high school teased me, but while they were sending nudes to grown men and being groomed and blackmailed or watching porn all the time, I was reading and furthering my education and having a great last few years of my "childhood".
I didn't consistently have one until I was maybe 19.. So, I wouldn't say it was extreme.. It was kinda justified in a way.. We're pretty close in age so I can imagine phones didn't have the functionality they do now with you growing up.. Even worse if they did.. At the same time, I could see how it would feel being the only kid without a phone especially in today's tech heavy climate..
It's fine.. Stuff like that builds some good character.. I didn't have a lot of what the other kids had growing up either.. I didn't like it at the times but looking back, it was maybe for the best..
Extreme? No its not. I actually applaud them for trying. However kids do need to learn how to use this technology... be its master not its slave. It should be a tool to make our lives better. Sadly it seems to be doing the opposite at times.
Not at all. I grew up without a cell phone until I was an adult. Then it was still just a phone where you actually had to talk to people. It was amazing how I could function without know what my friends were doing minute by minute, but we got along just fine and actually enjoyed doing stuff without looking at a screen all day long.
honestly i believe it's probably the worse idea to give our 16 year old or younger child a phone. cause no matter what sort of helicopter parent software you install on it, there's probably a way for them to get exposed to the brain poison on the internet.
Its pretty crap to not have it sooner. Assuming you don't use your phone to embarrass yourself online or something.
I wish I had such a device, a pair of earbuds and some loud music files, so i can plug in my ear buds and listen to loud music in order to not listen to the given environment's trash, that these morons call music. Ideally i'd look up stuff online too as i learned more about life and things rather than "scroll binge" tik tok or something.
I'm fine with it being at 16. We bought an emergency phone for our kids (11 and 9) to use when they would go on field trips but they don't get to use it otherwise. There is no real need for them to have one before then.
That's good parenting. It's important to realize that life is not about having a phone, or even not about having what others have. Since you didn't have a phone, we guess that you talked with people... and that's a good skill to learn.
I still don't have a smartphone. I don't see the need for one. Also, as a teacher, I can tell you how distracting and anxiety provoking they can be for students. This year, my school went "phone free" and it is so much nicer to teach students who aren't constantly looking down at a screen! I don't have to argue with students and can actually teach.
I agree with your parents. The problem is EVERY kid has a phone. So much damages done to young teens with self esteem issues due to having early access to media’s without being properly supervised.
Forbidden fruits taste always better. I think forbidding is a bad strategy, but I guess for parents who want to invest minimal amount of effort in general knowledge education of their children is this easiest option.
16 seems a bit extreme but it is probably best that you didn't have a phone because you need to have a life that doesn't involve talking on the phone all the time.
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Anonymous
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No, I had my phone at 16 as well and it wasn't a big deal when I think about it rn, I was more focused on studying when I didn't have a phone, and sometimes it pissed me off seeing the other but what can I do about it. I just lived my life and try not to think about a phone
I assume you mean smart phone because it the "smart" part that I would agree to keep away from kids until they are old enough to handle unsupervised social media and the internet in general.
Home > Society & Politics > Questions > My parents forbade me from having a phone until I was 16 years old. Do you think that was too extreme on their part?
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