Why do you do "small talk" in the US?

[Julie4]

Surprisingly I find it quite nice, although to be honest I never do it and if someone tries to do that with me, I risk appearing "cold" and distant. Because it's just not in our culture here and it seems strange to us lol

[Lliam]

It's just a way of being friendly. It's a way to learn about a person without getting too personal.

You get to hear their voice and watch their facial expressions and body language when they are relaxed and cheerful.

You might hit on a topic that interests you both. You might find a commonality.

It can be away of establishing friendship at work or at a party or gathering.

It can be a way of breaking the ice with a person of the opposite sex. Once that is done, you might subtly begin to flirt or send signals or interest.
Lots of girls at school or work did that with me. They might make opportunities to chat which, in itself, shows interest. I have done the same thing with women.

On a first date, small talk is usually how conversations get started. I never treated dates like interviews. I didn't act like all I was interested in sex, either. And it's bad form to open up topics like politics or global events because those are serious and can be a bring down. You want a date to be enjoyable.

Bringing up mundane topic can be enlightening.

Bringing up the weather can evolve into more personal discussions about what you enjoy about that season, things you have been doing, and what you enjoy doing.
Gardening, curling up at home reading, sunbathing by the pool, going to the beach, surfing, snow skiing? And those can open up new topics.

Talking about work or school can turn into discussions about interests and goals and give insight into a person.

Talking about shopping can reveal insight into a person's attitudes and lifestyle.

These are ways of learning about each other in an organic, fluid, nonthreatening manner. And any of these can provide opportunities to flirt.

Small talk can be a way of establishing attraction and trust.

[NaultD]

It's a safe way to tip toe into deeper topics. Going from mundane day to day stuff you can access really deep stuff. From a joke how people park into a person stance on authority and power dynamics of society and then a good bye.

I was helping a guy out at my job and he said he's a teacher from my mother's village and we talk about school into how it's a retirement community and deep social issues happening just out of nowhere.

What's crazy we could have exchange numbers and become best friends ultimately it didn't happen but could happen at any given small talk. If you think about it every romantic couple started at this moment of small talk so why not give as many small talks a chance?

[midnightmoon05]

I hate it whenever other women says…awwww I like your shoes/dress/nail color… etc… hate it. I work with 99% women. I feel I don’t fit in.

[RyanEC]

The more I learn about the difference between American and European social customs the more I feel European than American.


I don’t like small talk it bores me, I prefer meaningful conversations.


I also don’t like when people talk too much or are too loud like Americans are sometimes.

[Chazmatazz269]

I do it begrudgingly, because it’s a social norm. At any given moment, i’d rather be talking about creating or destroying black holes, or ending war, or whether newly discovered species are actually new, or previously undiscovered, or whether we wipe back to front or front to back, or…
i could go on ad infinitum.

[blueonblack22]

I noticed the difference when I visited Germany. People don’t small talk at all with strangers You wouldn’t small talk with a coffee barista in Germany the same way you would in the USA

I can’t tell you the exact reason “why” but I guess it’s a cultural thing.

[ManOnFire]

Small talk is boring. But we do it as a way to break the ice, get to know someone, or try to generate a more serious conversation, because most people (in the U. S. anyway) tend to feel some kind of way if you suddenly start conversing with them about something deep or personal. Americans are sensitive people and take offense to all kinds of things, so small talk is just a safe way to interact with others.

[Snakeyes7]

Is the point of small talk not to bring about deeper conversations? You ask how the other person is doing and if the other person wants to continue the conversation, they'll talk about their day. However a lot of people just say "I'm good" and nothing else.

Over the years we have just lost a lot of public trust.

[RavVid]

Really? I thought it was a world wide thing to complain about the weather.

So what is done in France when you think it is appropriate to talk to someone but you don't know them.

[Julie4]

Well, it depends on the context, but generally we don't talk to people we don't know.

[RavVid]

OK... I like to joke ironically with random people.

[ProbablyClueless]

It's like you said; it can be quite pleasant. Assuming that you don't have something else to do, small talk can keep you entertained while you do some mundane bullshit like waiting in the grocery line

[coolbreeze]

People have small talk conversations with me all the time in public. I think it's a American culture thing.

[loveslongnails]

Because too many people are too stupid to do "big talk". :)

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't know. It's dumb. I do not enjoy participating in that activity. I avoid it like the plague.

[PsychicBoobs]

Lack of social skills

[DrPepper12]

I don't care for it tbh. Where you from?

[Julie4]

France

[DrPepper12]

Lucky! 🇨🇵🇨🇵🇨🇵🇨🇵🇨🇵♥️

[Julie4]

To be honest, I'm pretty proud to be French. But there are lots of great countries.

[DrPepper12]

True but much to admire in France!! How is the macron cabinet shake up being perceived?

[Julie4]

In France, we're not used to cohabitation. Personally, I think our new minister seems like a good person, but I don't know him well enough to judge him.

What do you admire about France?

[DrPepper12]

Fair enough. Next dumb question. How is Le Monde perceived? Left, center or right?

[FunkyMonkee]

That's how you meet other people and make friends.

[BigManSAB]

Because there’s not enough room for big talk

[RedInnocent69]

To be friendly.

[Ladsin2]

What culture doesn't talk to their neighbors?

[Ironco]

To be polite

[noohair]

Ok, what culture?