Is this grounds for divorce?

[Anonymous]

My husband is half Mexican and White and I am African American. Race wasn’t really an issue within our marriage until the presidential election with Trump being in office again which has forced us to have political conversations. My husband is a Trump supporter and I do not care for either party. My husband feels as though the black community is the cause for our own issues we suffer like gun violence, the women being treated poorly, homelessness, robbery, drugs, police brutality etc. But when I try to explain situations like George Floyd, Trayvon Martin etc he refuses to acknowledge or try to understand the racial issues that still exists til this day. We do not share children together but the disgusting views he has about the black community makes me question why he chose to marry me to begin with if he feels this way about my people. I worry about what he feels like our future children deserve. I try to agree to disagree but it bugs me that he thinks of us that way. Should I divorce him?

[NoOneEver]

Ultimately it’s something you’d have to decide on your own.

it’s a situation of pick your poison. If you go through with a divorce you may end up regretting being alone as it’s a hard adjustment. Or worse you may end up regretting getting in extremely toxic relationships after, remembering how much better you had it before. But there’s also the finding a relationship that actually works out better for you part as well. Life is a gamble sometimes.

It boils down to whether or not you have fond memories of love for him that still glow to this day. And if you feel he still loves you.

his talking may not be nothing more than statistics which is what he is talking about. Sometimes it’s best to maybe ask him to write out in a long text message all his thoughts and feelings about it instead of arguing in a heated vocal match. Sometimes people explain things better one way than they do another.

or maybe you’re both incompatible politically. And his attraction to you was outside of politics. To him he might have married you because it’s about your laugh, sense of humor, your smile, the chemistry of how you two get along when you’re talking about everything else but politics.

In the end it’s up to you. Good luck. Hope you figure out what’s best for you.

[Anonymous]

You should cut him some slack because he's absolutely right. The sooner the African American community accepts the fact that their problems are of their own making, and only they can fix them, the sooner they will elevate themselves. Things like what happened to George Floyd and Trayvon Martin happen to whites and others too, but we never hear about those cases because they don't paint the picture the liberal media want. It doesn't support their narrative.

What you don't realize is that you have been used as a pawn by the left. They spoon feed you rhetoric that convinces you that you and your people are victims of rampant racism. You're not. Yes there is racism, but not nearly as bad as they want you to believe, but they themselves are responsible for a lot of if because they continually fan the flames of racism to keep it alive, because it benefits them.

If you divorce your husband for this reason, there will come a day when you will regret it, because you will realize he was right.

[Anonymous]

No it’s not grounds for divorce and he’s absolutely right. The problem within the black community is lack of accountability, entitlement, aggression and victim mentality trying to blame everything, including their own behavior and choices, on racism.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's a really tough and heavy situation you're dealing with, girl. I can understand why your husband's political views and perspectives on the Black community would be so upsetting and concerning, especially given your own identity and experiences.

It's definitely not an easy decision, but I don't think you should feel obligated to stay in a marriage where your partner holds such harmful and dismissive views about your own racial community and the injustices they face. That's a major incompatibility and lack of empathy on his part.

The fact that he won't even acknowledge or try to understand the real issues like police brutality and racism that the Black community continues to deal with is really problematic. And the way he seems to blame the Black community for its own struggles is just so misguided and ignorant.

I worry about what kind of toxic views he might try to impart on any future children you two might have together. You deserve a partner who will stand up for you and your people, not someone who buys into racist stereotypes and tropes.

At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for your own wellbeing and sense of self-worth. If you've tried to have open discussions and find common ground, but he remains entrenched in these harmful beliefs, then divorce might be the healthiest option.

You shouldn't have to constantly defend your identity and experiences to your own husband. That's an unfair and draining burden to carry. Love and respect have to go both ways.

Really think hard about whether this is a dealbreaker for you, or if you see any chance of him evolving his views with time and education. But don't feel obligated to stay just because you're married. Your happiness and inner peace have to come first.

Wishing you so much strength as you navigate this incredibly complex situation. Sending you a big virtual hug, sis.

[Staximus]

An eyewitness said George Zimmerman was on the ground and Trayvon Martin was on top of him and beating him, so he got what he asked for. He had already punched Zimmerman and knocked him down for following him and he could have just walked away. Zimmerman shouldn't have been following and profiling him but still a poor example. 94% of black people in this country are killed by black people (and that's from the Dept of Justice). All the black people getting shot in Chicago every week are shot by black people. Another poor example. It seems you are in denial about some things.

[OneViewpoint]

Hey, you do what you gotta do. But how does it make you feel about yourself going through your life with a flaming racist? Why did you choose to marry this guy? There must have been signs even before Conservatives were told it was OK to slither out from under their rocks. Are his friends the same? And yeah, if children are part of your future "Daddy" may pose a problem that follows them for life.

[Anonymous]

Yes, your husband's deeply held, racially biased views, which he refuses to reconsider despite your attempts at dialogue, constitute grounds for divorce. His perspectives create a fundamental incompatibility and a hostile environment, directly contradicting your values and raising serious concerns about your future and the potential well-being of any future children. His beliefs indicate a profound disrespect for your identity and community, making a healthy, respectful marriage impossible.

[LionBrasa]

NãoI don't like to comment on these subjects, but if he really loves you he should keep his harsh opinions to himself. Try talking to him, being incisive that you won't tolerate this, if it doesn't work, you know what to do.

[Dargil]

Nowadays, you do not need grounds You have to balance off your vows with your feelz and decide.

[SmokinAces2000]

I don’t know why you would marry someone that has racist views towards your race in the first place 🤦🏾‍♂️

[Ariesman81]

He believes in personal accountability. I'd say that's an admirable quality.

[seeyounexttuesday]

Your husband is correct.