Have you ever felt like your anger becomes much more intense after your behavioral issues regarding violence stopped?

[RxR0954]

For the ones with past behavioral issues, do you feel like your anger becomes much more intense after you stopped the behavior? For example i used to beat my peers up until age 10-12 where i had to stop or i would end up in jail. My anger felt much more intense and my thoughts became much darker, i just choose to pour my anger into situations that require lots of aggression to be safe, for example situations where i was followed or sexually harassed/assaulted. What about you?

[Chazmatazz269]

You’re doing it wrong. You’re managing your anger the way a dry drunk manages her alcoholism. Simply cutting out the behavior that manifests negative consequences is not a meaningful change. You have to change the way you perceive the world around you and the people with whom you share it. A twelve step program might work, but i don’t know if there is one for anger management. Start actively practicing acceptance and forgiveness, and find your purpose.

[RxR0954]

Yea i know there’s no excuses but it’s really hard especially when my entire bloodline is hot headed. Funny thing men in my family always had an issue with explosive anger and that really triggered mine, kinda like “if they can then why can’t i give it back to them”. But yea i get what you mean. I tried to go to therapy to resolve my angry feelings but that just made me angrier, so now im focusing on boundaries setting and communication in therapy to address resentment

[Chazmatazz269]

Acceptance and forgiveness are your best defense against resentments. That’s at the core of AA. I used to recite the Serenity prayer a dozen times a day when i was first starting out. It also appears that you have a “justifiable” trigger. Those are difficult to overcome. I had to try to emulate people i respected for their level headedness even when i couldn’t connect to it at all. I’m a saint compared to where i was when i began, and i still struggle with justifiable resentments.

[Chazmatazz269]

Check this out…

https://youtu.be/3DoPK7t_td4?si=nO3n5bXSRRPyc9Xs

[noohair]

It was the opposite for me.