Am I wrong for saying I'd rather be happy than be right?

Question

I say it a lot. Online and off. Offline, my sister, (Yes, the evil, middle one again) tells me I'm wrong for saying this. She says I should stand up and defend what I believe in and stop being such a passive mouse. But she never seems very happy.

And being happy IS what I believe in. I mean, sure, sometimes I want to get into it with people both off and online but then I stop and wonder why? Like, so what if someone disagrees with me? And, so what if I put in all kinds of time and energy into proving MY point and making sure the world knows I'M right and making myself all worked up and agitated and PMSY in the mean time? Like, why bother? Is the person I'm arguing with suddenly going to "see the light" and say, "Omg! Random is SO right. I will change my entire life now!" And then the world will make a statue of me with a big plaque that says: "Random is Right"

'Cuz when I stop and think about it all, I really don't care. If you need to be right. Ok, be right. I'm gonna' go be happy. And maybe go look for some unicorns.

And so I ask, Am I wrong for saying I'd rather be happy than be right?

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

This question, for me, is almost the equivalent of the blue pill or red pill question. I don't think you're wrong per se. I actually think your stance is the more intelligent choice in some aspects.

It's impossible to change the minds of everyone. Even if you're an Influencer or someone who has a voice that reaches many, you can't change everyone's opinion to match your own. You know what they say...

"Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, but they all think everyone else's stinks."

There are many variations of that, but you get the meaning. So, at the end of the day, is it really worth your time and effort to make others "see the light... or the dark?"

Am I wrong for saying I'd rather be happy than be right?

What difference does it make in the grand scheme of it all? Okay, great, there's one more Trump hater or one more Trump supporter now. But what does that ultimately do for you? You still hate anyone on the opposing side. It takes energy from you and consumes you.

In Buddhism, they teach detachment (often better described as non-attachment or vairagya). It refers to releasing the clinging, craving, and ego-driven desires that cause suffering, rather than becoming cold or indifferent. It is a path towards liberation by accepting impermanence, allowing individuals to live fully in the present moment without needing to control outcomes.

I genuinely believe Buddhists are on to something with all of that.

The reason I say it's close to the red pill and blue pill question is because the red pill is choosing to live in reality. It means choosing the truth, even if reality means choosing a harsh world and life. Blue pill means choosing to live in ignorance, but it's a world of happiness and of your choice. You know what they say... ignorance is bliss.

I'm guilty of trying to argue my points like my life depends on it, and think that everyone who holds a different opinion has to be an idiot. But it really does take up my energy and consume me, as well as cause conflict with others. That's why I say that your way of thinking is the more intelligent mentality. Living happily should obviously be the most important thing. You don't want to die as a bitter person. You want to look back on your life and genuinely think to yourself that you enjoyed it. I personally just find it hard to get myself out of the opposite way of thinking.

But here's the opposing point. If everyone chose the blue pill and was just content with things as they are, nothing in life would change. Society would stick with the same dumb rules and the same dumb laws and you and your loved ones will be in the same positions. You'd just be a law-abiding citizen, drifting through life. If Iran did that, they'd live under the Islamic regime forever. Sometimes you have to fight for the things you believe in or the things that you love.

It all comes down to what you value more, and I don't think there's any wrong answer.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

Are you being avoidant of conflict, peacemaker? Sounds like no.

It's ok to an extent to keep yourself happy, "most hills aren't worth dying on". There are some that are important you should fight to the end. You decide which is which.

Whatever you do, stay away from lawyers and unscrupulous people like brokers. Their job is to make you more broke by legally taing your money. They will take advantage of that personality.

A great example is this from the dinosaur era...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/yhI1VG2Y86g

My anwer is... I don't like beer, I don't care!

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

Your evil sister is partially right, standing for your ideals is important but making pointless fights to prove your stand point is foolish. Even if you're might be high IQ, especially then you know you might be wrong in some points. That's why arguing about some things is pointless, I emphasize arguing because constructive and respectful discussion with people who don't share your opinions is often very productive.

Betraying and deceiving yourself isn't smart in long run. We humans have subconsciousness that we can't control fully. Creating subconscious dissonance leads often to negative effects in your psyche. It's feel you do something wrong but you do it anyway for short term benefits, but they you hate yourself because those benefits weren't worth the the self-hatred for what you did and mental gymnastics in your mind to justify what you did.

Personally I can to the conclusion after childhood under influence of a psychopath. The less transparent you're the better for you. In terms of things people know what you think, it means they should never be sure about your standpoint. So... painting the sky blue even if it's rains, might be comfortable but painting the hell green when your feet burn is stupid.

purplepoppy · Accepted Answer

Human misery stems from the desire to be loved. We learn from an early age that acceptance depends on hiding our true feelings and beliefs and only expressing what our caregivers want to hear. We carry that through school and into work, suppressing that inner voice in order to keep our jobs and not upset the neighbours.

We smile through the pain pretending we're strong or cultured We delude ourselves that conformity leads to contentment. but it gnaws at us deep inside growing like a black hole of despair.

The secret to happiness is power. Power doesn't corrupt, it just allows your true self to shine through unfiltered.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

Random, You are on the right tract to a Happy Life. As a 76 years old male I can tell you that your elder years will be spent with a significant amount of reflection. Your mind can be your greatest enemy because it will not let you forget unresolved differences and regrets. Everyone has to live the cards they are dealt. So, we all end up with differences of opinion. Right changes with times and situations. Many people find comfort and validation in coloring within the lines and frightened by open fields with no fences. Others are excited by the opportunity presented. Party on Love.

loveslongnails · Answer

The expression "ignorance is bliss" is a double edged sword; it's great until something effects you personally.

You can choose not to engage with others on any subject at all. Who you engage with and the subject matter has to be worth your time and energy. It's a question I am getting better at asking myself: is there anything to be learned from "x"? Or, is it necessary to engage no matter what?

I'd adjust your statement a bit for myself, because I can be "happy" when I'm wrong, or when I find out I have BEEN wrong because now I can fix it! :)

truthteller234 · Answer

you probably rather be happy than be right because you know very well that your viewpoints are NEVER RIGHT.

What I have learned over they ears is that MOST people tend to believe in what makes them feel good rather than what is true.

A lot of people live off of delusions cuz they can't face the truth.

Just the same way fat people can't accept it the fact that they are fat. They will try to lie toe themselves that they are thick or big is beautiful.

Its similar to when you make a mistake but you can't ever admit it so you blame everyone else and try to make it seem like it's their fault.

Lliam · Answer

Random is right. I agree with her logic.
Where can I chip in for the plaque?

I am happy to get into discussions and can gain new perspectives. But, if we disagree on an issue, I don't invest in proving I'm right. 1) being adamant will never change their mind and 2) they will resent it. Arguments are counterproductive.

aaron13547 · Answer

I think it can get complicated people tend to do the right things for the wrong reasons trying to be happy... its easy to get lost in being happy. Middle sister just doesn't want you to get lost catching unicorns; she wants to find your unicorns to! Even if she won't admit it.

You might not always be right, but you're not wrong 😉

ohsheeT · Answer

I will take that anyday. Happy is happy right.

Lol you can't have right or be right. With out wrong right? Because everyone see things different. So im good I dont have to ever be right. again. As a matter of fact.

I would rather be happy and wrong because if im wrong I have to figure it out and once I do

then I would be happy and even more happy when I figure it all out .. butwho knows could be wrong

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Do you, but i couldn’t live like that. I can’t be happy being told i’m wrong just to assuage someone else’s ego, when i am clearly in the right. That just gives narcissists license to gaslight you.

Right is right and wrong is wrong.
If i’m right and i have to accept being told that i’m wrong to avoid conflict, i’d rather fight or cut them out of my life.

Beckybooboo · Answer

I just don't have enough energy to worry about being right. I just tell myself, "You're right", roll my eyes and have something good to eat!

Theunfadeable · Answer

Live your life and be happy. at the end of the day no one gives a shit about the stuff that people like your sister say. People like that are miserable and crazy and are only able to bond with other nuts by talking crazy and finding things to be upset over.

NathanDavis · Answer

I'd agree with you and I rather be happier as well as for arguments "you only need to convince yourself" is what I usually go with, lol

Twodogs0525 · Answer

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I don't have to compromise one for the other, so I decided to be both! Also, you're taking a big chance showing your feet on this site!

queenofcardio · Answer

I think I feel the same. Sometimes, it can be a waste of time trying to prove a point.

RavVid · Answer

We need more happy women in the world cause women have been becoming more and more unhappy which makes men unhappy. We need a lot of Random is happy statues on street corners.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Some people have to be right and some people just hate when other people are wrong. I'm one of the latter. So is Bernie Sanders. He's a millionaire so he could just sit back and enjoy his wealth but he's offended by dishonesty and injustice.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Ignorance is bliss. But it hurts all the people around you. Which is why accepting it is frowned upon

WindAtMyBack · Answer

Happy is more important than everything else. If all the other stuff doesn't make you happy, what good is it?

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

You have some right things and some wrong things but the most wrong thing is that you're a lezzie hehe

Personally i like to see you happy even if you aren't right because you have a childish heart haha

Bricealan · Answer

@randomgirl42 Yes, here, Random, I am like you!!! Here, let me give you a kiss on the cheek!!!😂😂😋

genericname85 · Answer

you can never be wrong about stating a personal preference. i personally prefer being right over being happy. doesn't mean you're wrong. just means we prefer different things.

douride2 · Answer

I think along the same lines. I too would sooner be happy. I would just as soon let it slide even if I know I am right.

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exitseven · Answer

Why can't being right make you happy. It works for me.

fivebyfour · Answer

Being right is not the same as being correct imho, but yes I'd rather be happy,,

noohair · Answer

It is important to do what is best for you. It is your life and your sister has no say in how you live...

Lucianmagnus · Answer

hell na yur not wrong yur absolutley right... i always say id rather be happy than be king

blueonblack22 · Answer

That is very female.

jshm2 · Answer

Yes, as that is called "abuse"

AgentG111 · Answer

Nope must crazy people say that.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

I'm a southpaw, so I'm NEVER right !!!

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

I'm the polar opposite

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Nope

Cidknee · Answer

Paradox thing.

eagle1951 · Answer

not at all

Am I wrong for saying I'd rather be happy than be right?

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