How long do you have to live in a place to say "you've lived" there as opposed to long-term travel or a work contract, etc?

[MikeTheBartender]

[OneViewpoint]

Aye, there's the rub as Hamlet noted. This is a conversation that comes up every time a woman tries to chat me up or I meet new people at a bar / restaurant. And I avoid it like the plague. What's the first exchange in any small talk? Whatcha do? Where ya from?

I've boiled my options down to 2 choices over the years.

• Lie. Just pick some boring place they are likely to have no knowledge of and use that as my answer. The question goes away with a single sentence response.
• Tell them the truth. And get ready for a shitstorm of questions and responses that range from unhinged excited curiosity, to calling me a liar, to hate.

My dad was career Air Force. I grew up on military bases all over the world. 7 schools K-12. I landed in Boston for 4 years when my father retired, 1 year of Jr. High and 3 years of high school. Then I was off to a military university for 4 years. I graduated as a US Army officer in an elite role and spent the next 15 years wandering from place to place around the globe every 3 months to 2 years. When I left the Army at age 34, I got scooped up by Fortune 100 and did 7 corporate moves being run through an accelerated program meant to give me a well rounded understanding of business which was an incredible boost to my career. Some of that was spent outside the US as an Expat. After that I became the CFO of a greenfield heavy industrial startup. After that I was invited to join a private equity firm In Manhattan. And I finally landed someplace at age 45 for the last 15 years.

See what I mean? My life has been totally normal for me. It's the only life I've ever known. But for other people stuck in one place their entire life it sounds exotic or adventurous. It leads to other questions about my background that I generally don't want to talk about with complete strangers. Women tend to romanticize my life or call me a baby killer. Men get jealous of the attention I get from women or call me a liar. Interacting with the average idiot is exhausting and a waste of my time. So I usually just lie and tell them I'm from Iowa or something. But then I'm trapped. If we do become friends over time and the truth comes out, they don't know what to believe about me.

Where am I actually "from"? In my mind, Boston. Why that is home in my brain, I can't say. But that's my unconscious response in my mind when someone asks.

[KostasKouvalis]

I'd say minimum one month and you have to be renting an appartment and working for a local company. Or be a student. But realistically, I don't think anyone will hire you or let you study for only month, so I will say more realistically 6, as that's how long a semester/internship usually lasts.

There are more factors then just time though. I've spent entire summers in Poland, but I wouldn't say I LIVED there, because I wasn't working or studying there, nor was I paying bills, taxes or registered as a resident.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s more about intent then how long you lived there. So if you sold your home, cancelled your lease or moved out of your parents house and bought a home or signed a lease for another home and moved all your things there with the intent of it being your new home then you’ve lived there.

[purplepoppy]

I'd say a month, any less is basically just being on a trip. But to say it with confidence I'd say a year, that way you've experienced all seasons and the good/bad of the area.

[NicholasofAustralia]

Lady, that's a holiday lol 😂😆 1 month. 1 month. Honestly 😄

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I think it has more to do with how well you assimilated there. Did the neighbor know your name? Did you start walking to the store a certain way because you preferred it over another way? Did you become emotionally connected to what went on there?

I think that has more to do with it. Did you feel settled down there?

[Zack-Bann]

I’ve been on a work contract for 5 years. And honestly I’ve more than lived here


I knew I’ve been here a long time when places I frequented eventually started going out of business and get replaced


Basically I have memories of a version of this city that no longer exists
That’s a clear marker

[NathanDavis]

I have lived a few lifetimes... in just four years

relatively speaking, of course...

[molonski2]

Around 6 months.

We have people come here for a month all the time , that's just being a tourist.

[exitseven]

In some places if you are not born there you are not "from" there. Some places even want you to be second generation.

[AgentG111]

Depends on the location maybe a short time if living in that area was enough to say hell no I'm out or enough to want to stay there.

[najekim]

I'd say if you have established a place to live and/or any utilities in your name, you're living there.

[Staximus]

If it’s not a vacation then you’re living there, it doesn’t really matter how long

[OfDeath]

I’d say 6 months.

[MikeTheBartender]

That was my original thought. We are the only two so far.

[Mike_Hum]

it's not a length, it's a situation.

[Anonymous]

Haven't had the funds to move around

🙃🥲

[Agape93]

A year