How can someone build real emotional depth and self-control in daily life?

[lightbulb27]

People can do terrible things in an instant, because of deeper "evil" or rather "negative" emotions. Shame, fear, anger, murder, spite... they go bad directions quickly, often followed by regret.

Consequences don't seem to matter at that time, it has to be the restraint and training the individual has within them.

Having such training, would reduce incidences that have terrible results... like these.

https://wgntv.com/news/dupage-county/community-gathers-to-honor-pregnant-woman-brutally-murdered-in-downers-grove/

Individual later attempted suicide: https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/downers-grove-murder-suspect-nedas-revuckas-hospitalized/

And here's another... individual apparently driving at high speed tail ended a car, exploding it on fire. All 3 people in the car died, the person causing accident ran away.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/3-killed-including-baby-in-fiery-crash-on-route-15-in-stratford/ar-AA22PbPs

[ohsheeT]

Right there are many people like that in the wirkd today. And everyday there becomes more and more of them coming g out of the wood work

Why is this. To suck the good people in evil is all the why up in the highest powers of every country of every corporation

And when they find a good person that knows who they are truly knows who they are and they are leaders instead of followers that's when they surround him and try to pull him in to become a just like them because they know his strength

So you acknowledged all the evils around you all the people that will do and say whatever they have to to destroy you to make you look bad but when you keep your heart clean you keep your mind fresh you know the power of love you know the power of who you are and what you believe in they cannot touch you no matter what word they use it will not face you because you know the truth and that's all that matters as long as you don't switch sides that's all that counts let them do as they want to do to a point and then smash them if you have to if they get in your way or if they just push too much it's time to let them know you're not going to do anything that they say you don't believe anything that they say and you are there to fight you are there to keep your world the way it is you will not go into the evil darkness that they live in keep your morals values ethics and strengths don't let it bother you one little bit smile and just keep walking you're in control of you that's all that counts

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I see two ways to reach that goal, one you can control and one you can't, also they are not mutually exclusive:

• Having had caring parents during childhood
• Reading philosophy

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Ah, and there's a third way I see mentioned often on g@g: Fearing God.

[lightbulb27]

good tips. philosophers are generally speaking, not deadly.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Yes, plus there's so much philosophy to read and play with, it is so complicated to grasp these monuments that by the time we finished a chapter, then our rightful preoccupations about booze and murder faded out.

What remains then, is often Sex, Love, Plato, Epicurus and Diogenes. All of them combined makes for a quite interesting feta cheese.

[Taurus_Woman]

Building real emotional depth and self-control is less about big personality changes and more about small, repeated habits that train how you respond to life.

Emotional depth starts with learning to notice what you feel instead of immediately reacting to it. When something triggers you, stress, anger, disappointment, pause long enough to name it quietly in your mind: “I feel frustrated,” or “I feel hurt.” That simple step creates distance between the emotion and your behavior, and that’s where self-control begins.

Over time, it helps to reflect instead of suppress. Writing things down, even briefly, makes emotions clearer and less overwhelming. You start seeing patterns: what upsets you, what drains you, what actually matters versus what just feels intense in the moment.

Self-control grows from consistency, not intensity. Sleep well, eat decently, keep small promises to yourself, and don’t rely on motivation alone. Each time you choose a calm response over a reactive one, you’re training your nervous system to stay steady under pressure.

[RavVid]

The old saw of count to 10 helps a lot.

Early in my work life I needed to learn to be in control of my emotions. If a companies IT goes down It screws the company - can't make sales etc. You have senior execs at your desk.

Reacting emotionally shuts down logical thinking and impedes resolving the problem. You do not want the pilot of your airplane to be all emotional when there is an unexpected problem. (Interesting side note female pilots have more accidents. Female captains also sink NZ warships and get obsessed with making sure the crew go to the toilet before abandoning the ship.).

You can train yourself to not react emotionally. Of course I have emotional reactions as everybody else does. I just tell myself not to take any an action till logic is restored.

That is just being an adult.

[NathanDavis]

my brain is just more normal in that sense...

[lightbulb27]

balanced? you need a girlfriend to challenge... haha!:)

[NathanDavis]

I already have good posture...

[loveslongnails]

Reverse the situation and put yourself on the receiving end of what you're about to do or say, and ask yourself about it.

[lightbulb27]

Yes, that's good approach. Getting out of selfish.

[exitseven]

You must control your emotions and not let them control you. You can still be angry but you must be the boss.