Have you ever been suicidal & why?

[TonyMetal___1986]

After spending years here on gag and talking with many people, i have realized that more and more people are becoming suicidal or careless about their lives, even people in real live told me that death will bring them comfort...

The numbers are increasing, why this behavior is becoming more common in people worldwide 🤔

[Anonymous]

JUST before covid and the quarantine. That December id found out my wife had been cheating with another man for a year while i was at work working for her and our child and she'd given me an STD. It also turned out that she'd been kicking the crap out of our kid whenever she felt annoyed and I had to call social services and she being caught like a deer in the headlights when they arrived on our doorstep admitted to everything and I had to take the child. Next day social services insisted that I returned the child to her and she would live with her parents and her younger sister not being left unsupervised with our own child. They also advised me not to have the police charge her with child abuse. Being kinda shell shocked I went along with it all.

Then the quarantine started and I couldn't see my child during it. Then the police were involved but instead of looking into assault on my child they were looking into me as my ex had claimed I had raped her twice at her sister's wedding, had done physical abuse, coercive control, financial abuse etc. Women's aid were also involved, giving her the plays.

I was at a very low point and had to go to my doctor for antidepressants and at work as a security guard in a factory was considering hanging myself from one of the gantry cranes.

[TonyMetal___1986]

I'm not going to give you a thumb's up because what happened to you is really sad and hard to handle!

This whole system is corrupted, i'm glad that you still here and instead of giving, try to find ways to fight the corruption and take your rights back, plus don't forget that your kids needs you...

I wish you the best!

[Opinion Owner]

I did end up getting custody 3/7 days. I caught her on tape trying to blackmail me with false rape allegations and false domestic abuse charges. I used her sleazy new man's record against her and the social services stared to the court that he shouldn't be left alone with the child though she ignores this but the child is now 12 and despises the guy.

[TonyMetal___1986]

I don't understand how come the kids stays with their mother with all these problems...

[Opinion Owner]

Women are treated as victims even when they are the perpetrators by the law. Gender bias with social services, police and courts is huge. Social services asked me to fill out a questionnaire about how I found them and the questionnaire asked if id been discriminated based on age, religion, race etc. What box do you think was left out?

[TonyMetal___1986]

🤦🏻‍♂️

[Zack-Bann]

I got very close this year.
But I’m a little better now.


I never imagined it would be something I might consider.


But then again I was raised to believe that if you do good then good things would happen to you.


I can’t remember the last time anything truly good happened to me.


But instead of ending the pain I’m still choosing to be molded by it more and more, and trusting in the grand wisdom of the universe that I will eventually evolve yet again into a better person hardened by life.


I can see why so many people chose the quick way out.
I blame modern parenting:
Easy come easy go. Participation trophies. Unearned praise. And unrealistic expectations.


Kids all grow up suffering from “main character syndrome” and when life bursts that bubble they don’t know how to cope with what they see in the mirror.

[TonyMetal___1986]

I agree and i'm glad because you're still here, don't ever think about it again, be happy for who you are and don't expect anything from the others...

Life isn't fair...
There is no law which says if you do good things than you shall receive the same, nope not at all, in contrary, you will realize that the better you are, the more you'll be attacked... etc

[sage2021]

The other day I heard that 10 - 14 year old now have the highest suicide rate.
I'm not sure why exactly.🤷🏼‍♀️

[TonyMetal___1986]

It might be from school bullying and lacking the presence of their parents in their lives!

[Agape93]

Yeap. Lifetime of trauma, severe psychological problems and nerve damage leaving me in constant pain.

[Agape93]

Even if none of that was the case, i still dont value my life, because what comes next is infinitely better and more enjoyable.

[TonyMetal___1986]

You're a young girl and suffering from all this? 😐
Anyways, when you came back to me, you have started to heal 😁

[Agape93]

Yeah. Not everyone has a happy childhood, or happy relationships. But, at least one is very much dead and damned, another is in prison for the next 20 years. And when he gets out, if im still alive, I'll kill him myself. Provided he survives prison with his charges.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Slow down miss agape, no need to rush it, you still have long years ahead of you, just try to find your real happiness...

Real love, real happiness and care will let you enjoy your life to the fullest 😌

[TonyMetal___1986]

I wonder how the first ended up dead and why the second is in prison servinf for a long time...
Plus since these people are so much horrible, how did they find you and why were you with such people, couldn't you sense that they are bad 🤔

[Agape93]

I'm happy enough. And I enjoy myself.

First one died of a heart attack. He was my dad's brother.
Second one got caught trying to solicit nudes from a child, while trying to record, share and attain child porn. He was my ex.

I was a child and teenager with the first, and the other kept me in line through isolation, extreme violence and routinely putting a gun to my head. That kinda shit can only keep one for so long before you stop caring if he pulls the trigger or not

[Agape93]

Sadly some people are good at hiding it.

[TonyMetal___1986]

WoW, that's really too much, the one who is supposed to love you, protect you and take care of you, put a gun into your head, a damn retard and a criminal, what if something went wrong with the gun and the bullet came out 😒

I'm sure that he used to beat you to, i mean if someone puts a gun into your head and you said extreme violence, it simply means that he had beaten you had, not like a slap or so, maybe he made you bleed or broke a bone in you or damaged one of your organs!

He better rot in prison!

Your uncle who had died, i can understand from what you're saying that he had sexually assaulted you right?

[lightbulb27]

Curious, did your misery turn i to compassion to help others suffering? Thats how worked for me… eg wounds healed become power to give back. Im surprised if you didn't become an enforcer of some sort or rescue trafficked peoples. I know of one and your writing reminds me of her fate except i dont think she ever got out.

[Agape93]

Nope. And if I did that, im confident I would have already murdered multiple people. Now I've gotten people out of bad situations, sure. But it's taken active restraint to not actively try to kill said abusers.

[lightbulb27]

If you operate under thr law enforcement it isn't murder anymore but enforcement… if they dont submit. Its too bad because the problems still exist and prople need help. You have a depth of emotion which loke any emotion, when channeled can be used for good. We know right and wrong but some of these people are pure preditors and prey in the vulnerable. If you did put energy into this, it give you life and energy. I was around people that worked in rescue ops and recovery.

[Agape93]

To be honest, if I can kill those cunts, im 100% fine with that career change. May even do it as a hobby. Got a lot of anger in me

[TonyMetal___1986]

Chill out miss @Agape93 since you have all this energy, instead of using it in a negative way, use it positively such massaging ny back and shoulders and maybe you can make me some jello with strawberries, how about that? 😁

I'll be really thankful! 😌

[TonyMetal___1986]

Please i want the jello without poison 🤣🤣

[Agape93]

I dont poison people. But if I did, I'd mix about 200mg (about the size of a tylenol) into a peppery gravy, to hide the chemical burn the strychnine has. That's 1.25x the LD for it.

[TonyMetal___1986]

You're a dangerous lady miss agape, but with me i know that i can comfort my mind, right? ☻

Heyyy, where am i? Why am i in heaven now? 🤣🤣

[lightbulb27]

Does it feel loke like anger or rage? An x friend was molested by her father and i knew her as an adult. She was very positive and outgoing. One day i saw her go into a horrifying rage of fear and… rage. It was all verbal, but i was sk scared i backed tk the counch and covered with a pillow … withering.

I've seen the intensity. What some endure in this life is awful and it comes out when it does. I've felt rage but not that level.

[Agape93]

More like anger. Rage is explosive.

Trust me, that level of anger is the surface. Youd be surprised how bad it can get, and how fast it can get there. I dont have mirrors, because I've broken them all. I have a record for a reason, and it isn't from stealing.

Hold your friend close, because she needs someone in her corner when she gets to a dark place.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Can we just forget about the rage and all these negative stuff, let's go to have some ice cream, i'll pay 😁 🍦

[Agape93]

How about a float?

[TonyMetal___1986]

What's a float? 🤔

[lightbulb27]

If you haven't had a root beer float (w vanilla), you haven't lived. Very sweet though and expect a food coma after.

[Agape93]

It's mixing soda and ice cream

[TonyMetal___1986]

Never heard of it miss agape, is it delicious?

[Agape93]

Oh baby boy, it's delicious. One sec

[Agape93]

youtube.com/shorts/mErpdP1J024?is=xkxK2im8gSARwcud

[Chazmatazz269]

Yes. When i was young, my mother made sure to convince me that my entire self worth was wrapped up in whether or not females liked me. So i felt worthless until i had a girlfriend. We were together for years, but eventually she cheated on me. Obviously i had never learned any better. So i never did any kind of work to reframe my self worth. Worse, my entire identity was wrapped up in “us”. I didn’t know who or what i was without her. Ultimately, i felt like nothing but i couldn’t feel nothing.
I was passively suicidal for months. Eventually i made new friends and met another woman, and suicidal ideation ended entirely. It took me years, multiple other relationships and quite a bit of reading before i realized the depth and breadth of my mother’s abuses.
Ironically, being unwilling to put women on a pedestal was the beginning of the end of dating for me.

[TonyMetal___1986]

No one gives you your worth, you were born priceless, plus in this life there are always ups and downs, no matter what happens, we should never surrender!

[Cidknee]

On 1996 I had a bad wreck. It almost killed me. I had said I was going to hit this tree on 726. A huge oak tree, as fast as my truck could go. I was very unhappy and the PTSD had started playing in my mind on its own.

I got drunk but couldn't do it. So I went back to a friend's birthday party and got drunker. I still couldn't do it so I figured id go back yet again to the party. My place was 20 miles away.

I was pissed that I couldn't do it. (Stupid) A hiway patrol shown his spotlight in my mirror and completely blinded me. I had not seen him yet, but he fixed me. I saw a headlight in my path and jerked the wheel heading for an obvious roll and the car with the headlight struck my back left fender knocking me back toward being straight again. But the momentum was there and my truck went into end over end. The stupid cop said 5.5 times.

I woke up 6 days later and didn't want to die anymore.

[TonyMetal___1986]

I'm sorry that you have been through this...
BUT don't dare to do it again, leaving your friend here, how am i supposed to get to know you if you have succeeded in your try hehe

Always remember that you have somebody 😌

[Cidknee]

Awe shit, that is very considerate Tony. You and your best bud Iron are the nicest pair on g@g.
Yeah, when got my senses back I looked at my situation and could see plain as day that there is NEVER any reason to end yourself. If it has to be then stick around and smash some heads.
🥹😅

[TonyMetal___1986]

Right 😂😂

Well thanks for your kind words about my friendship with @Iron_Man 🙂

[Iron_Man]

I’m glad that you didn’t do that. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel things get better thank goodness you didn’t go through with it. Me and Tony are here for you and I hope that things are better now for you hang in there, my friend. You’re strong. God loves you ✝️ He put you here for a reason

[Iron_Man]

Thanks for mentioning me, Tony

[TonyMetal___1986]

@Iron_Man you're welcome ☺️👍🏻

[Iron_Man]

Thanks, my friend

[lightbulb27]

Social disconnect lack of purpose goals, social media devices which are poison. Look st gag… its awful.
i was down a few times and thought it, its natural reaction to misery. The answer is change, healing and some people can't let go of the lies.

[TonyMetal___1986]

👍🏻👍🏻

[lightbulb27]

The other angle is finding the truth as Jesus said in bible… ‘the truth sill set you free’! So if you can accept the truth and learn from what lead to it, find compassion and forgive ess including self, get to a much better place.

The memories still come bacl but have tools to deal with them.

I watch videos of veterans and other tragedies and im very fortunate not to have had to deal with the issues they were confronted with

[TonyMetal___1986]

Well said!

[FrodoSkywalker007]

I had a very significant collapse and that feeling was certainly connected. Spent some time in a facility due to it (wouldn't suggest the experience). Had my whole life collapse around me. It's a long story.

Now I'm slowly building out. Many obstacles ahead. Some of them very detrimental to my hopes of peace. None the less, I continue to try my best.

[TonyMetal___1986]

And you will succeed, it's very good that you have already started moving forward 👍🏻

[ProbablyClueless]

I've never been suicidal. But, I have had times when I thought being dead would be preferable. I've never wanted to take that next step though.

[TonyMetal___1986]

It means that there are times when you have thought about it...
What made you think about it?
Is it anxiety, depression, or society or bad luck in life, or what? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[ProbablyClueless]

Um... I think it was just exhaustion from feeling like I was doing everything right, but still never having things work out the way I hoped they would. If you spend 10-15 years of your life working your tail off, only hear arbitrary "no"s at every opportunity; that can really wear on you after a while.

[TonyMetal___1986]

It depends on what you were working on and why the answer was no, you're saying 10 to 15 years, i think that it was about time to stop what you were doing and didn't have to wait all these years hoping for a change!

[ProbablyClueless]

That's a much bigger conversation than I would want to have in a setting like this. But, I was absolutely not waiting around for a change! lol.

It was in a variety of contexts, for a variety of reasons.

[TonyMetal___1986]

👍🏻👍🏻

[exitseven]

No, but there have been times that if a bus hopped the curb and tried to run me over I might not have jumped out of the way.

[TonyMetal___1986]

That's a suicidal behavior 🤷🏻‍♂️

[exitseven]

Maybe. I look at it as a crime of opportunity

[strateguy632]

never. i had some suicide thoughts but life is a privilige.

[TonyMetal___1986]

🙂👍🏻

[canamlusciouslad73]

When my mother passed in 2003;I was hospitalized for about two weeks, but was allowed to attend her funeral.

[TonyMetal___1986]

I'm sorry, it's very hard, may she r. i. p

[canamlusciouslad73]

Thanks, TonyMetal_1986. She will always be my heroine.

[TonyMetal___1986]

👍🏻👍🏻

[fishbone77]

It's increasing because of social media, the recent culture is narcissistic and nihilistic. All from turning away from God.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Well said 👍🏻

[HellOnHeels0]

Not real.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Good 👍🏻