Why are boys so neglected compared to girls when they grow up?

Question

Girls are coddled their whole lives, but boys are treated like men when they turn 18 and are left to make mistakes and ruin their lives. I think it's a terrible way to raise boys and girls.

front2back · Accepted Answer

Probably is, but that is reality. Men have a greater sense of understanding they are expendable in this world and are raised accordingly. Now I do think there should be more considering that boys are still children and thus immature and lack agency so they shouldn't be raised "to the wolves" all the time, as they say. You should still raise boys to grow with independence, strength, and accountability that is expected of men, but you should also give them a break.

I think the bigger issue that I have witnessed being on my own for years now is many women do not grow up. They never really become full women the way their ancestors were, many even into their late 20s and 30s rely on Daddy to do things for them or rely on their boyfriend/husband to do almost everything for them. Many do not also understand concepts such as second order effects, accountability, and that (in theory) as grown adults they also have agency. The amount of women in that age range I have seen basically not mature to that or act infantile is astounding. This is negatively impacting women's mental health and relationships and needs to be corrected.

So if I had the choose, I would choose neglection of boys over coddling of girls if I had to pick one as "the worse evil" to rid of.

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

cause apparently we live in a "patriarchy" where all the men care about all the women and nobody cares about all the men and then the women still complain about "gender unfairness and being disadvantaged" even though they have massive privileges over men.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Girls do a much better job of advertising their needs.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well you're right about the raising of the girls and the boys it's more or less on the parents but this is what I see

Two parents a man and a woman Have two children boys or girls I think girls are either smarter they're in more tune with themselves than boys because a girl will watch their parents interact and they really pay attention and they put it together that is called love

Where a young boy looks at it and goes how gross get a room whatever and doesn't even think about it

I think I was in second third or fourth grade but whenever the teacher would ask a question she would pick you are you raise your hand you would have to stand up and give your answer

Well I didn't raise my hand but my teacher picked need to answer the question and I started to answer it but she said I had to stand up and I shook my head no she said a couple things and then she picked a girl I looked at the girl she raised her hand she stood up and answer the question well I couldn't stand up and answer the question because I had a hard on

She answered the question looked at me with a snotty looking face like she was saying neither neither don't stand up we'll see your weiner

And I knew right then and there that girls were going to rule the world they were going to run the world because guys are too stupid focused on the wrong things

When I was 16 and a half I moved out of my mom's house I moved in with two brothers twins their mom was moving to San Diego to start a business she said that they could stay there and finish school I moved in with them

I had just met a girl we had a couple girls come over one night one girl asked me if I love the girl that I was with and I looked at her and said what what do you mean love

And of course I said well yes I do So I had to think about it what is love I wasn't paying attention to my parents What they were doing I didn't know anything about love

So it's 16 and a half I had to start learning things very quickly

Girls aren't coddled they're smart they pay attention they understand things you're curious about things we're boys they're in la la land they think they know it all but they don't know shit

So from that moment on I had to ask myself questions because I needed the real answers and I didn't need fake answers or I didn't need to follow somebody I needed real answers for me

I need answers like who are you because whatever you say you better have your answer for you not somebody else's answer

How do I see it how do I feel about it what do I believe in

Girls are not coddled well they are because they're girls and that's the way you treat girls you love them you show them how a man or a woman is supposed to treat a woman as they grow old this is what you look for in a man

At that age girls are just smarter that's all there is to it boys are dumb I was so lucky that I moved out when I was 16 and a half and started my journey in life I'm trying to understand everything there's other guys that don't move out of their parents house until they're 18 and start that Journey

bolverk · Answer

This is what "they" currently think about boys, and as usual they think that every boy is the same, ther worst thing is that they treat boys like failed girls. They try to teach boys the same way they do girls, but we learn in totally diffrent ways from girls, back when male teachers were common in schools those male teachers knew this and taught boys and girls in ways that maximised their learning.

So this is what "they" think, anyone want to say where they are wrong.

"Boys are frequently neglected emotionally, socially, and educationally compared to girls because of deeply ingrained cultural stereotypes that falsely frame males as naturally resilient, self-sufficient, and emotionally tough (Something that we have to become over time). Despite biological evidence showing that male infants and boys are actually more developmentally and emotionally vulnerable, societal expectations often lead to reduced nurturing and lower parental supervision.

The "Tough Boy" Stereotype

Assumed resilience: Society expects boys to be inherently tough, leading parents to offer less "nurturing touch".

Disparate handling: Infancy studies show baby girls receive twice as much comforting touch and verbal responsiveness as boys.

Vigour bias: Expectant parents routinely describe male foetal movements as "vigorous" or "strong," pre-emptively project-managing emotional distance.

Harsh punishment: Boys face physically rougher handling and significantly higher rates of physical punishment

Lower Parental Supervision & Support

Supervision gap: Roughly 11% of adolescent boys experience a severe lack of parental supervision, compared to only 5% of girls.

Independence trap: Parents mistakenly assume teenage boys require less emotional check-in and can navigate risk alone.

Isolation risk: This hands-off approach leaves boys highly vulnerable to unsupervised online harms and community violence.

Biological Vulnerability vs. Social Expectations

Neurological fragility: Male brains are highly susceptible to early developmental disruptions and prolonged stress.

Hormonal sensitivity: Major hormonal shifts at ages 4, 8, and 12 temporarily lower a boy's responsiveness to guidance, making them look defiant when they are actually overwhelmed.

Developmental delays: Rates of Autism and ADHD are significantly higher in boys, requiring more patience, which they rarely receive.

Educational and Institutional Blind spots

Rigid systems: Modern school structures heavily penalize active behavioural traits, treating typical boyhood development as a systemic disruption.

Emotional illiteracy: Boys lack the structural vocabulary to describe complex pain, causing them to channel distress into anger or withdrawal, which adults then punish rather than comfort.

Asymmetrical support: While intentional empowerment initiatives for girls have drastically scaled up, dedicated mentorship and mental health frameworks for the "boy child" remain critically underfunded."

Lynx122 · Answer

Because we as a species don't need all the men that exist. If half the men died we would recover quickly. It would actually be good for the remaining population because there would be more opportunity for population growth and that would lead to economical growth new opportunities etc. Of course there would at first be a negative effect by losing that many people but soon that would be replaced with a striving for new growth. Right now we're in a saturated world so every bit of progress is very hard. This is just how we're biologically programmed that men are not seen as that important. Just let them deal with the harsh sides of life and the ones that make it through we'll keep them and the rest, don't really care.

Women are seen as valuable if we lose women our little tribe might go extinct and even though we're at 8.3 billion people now that instinct is also still there just like the other instinct when it comes to men. Even though mathematically we could lose 2 billion women and it would make our population shrink a lot of course but we wouldn't be close to going extinct. Our brains just don't work like that though we're still sort of focused on maximising our potential of reproduction. Even though we've reached a limit of how much we actually want to reproduce because there's so many of us but we still don't want to lose the potential to reproduce. I don't know it's a complicated topic I guess. But I don't think you're gonna change how we function as a species we just have to accept it and live with it. It's our instincts that have made us reach 8.3 billion people so We can't complain too much about that.

4ngelic · Answer

Completely disagree. At least in western countries as of now, 18yo boys are not at all remotely seen or treated as men, and left to fend completely for themselves. They're seen and treated as immature teenagers who are adults in name only. The world is their oyster, no one holds them accountable for their mistakes, which are just 'youth errors', and mom & dad are right there to pay for everything and help out in case of problems. Same for girls. Even if you're a grown ass man, unless you have shitty parents, your parents will always be there to help you out, give you $, and will try to intervene if they can if you're going down a bad path.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I think thick skin and sharp teeth are the cornerstone of anyone’s survival and success.

The problem isn’t coddling boys more it’s coddling girls less.

Because you might do it from a place of love but every small pain you spare them leaves them exposed to bigger pains later in life.

I know this first hand:
My parents loved me, and still do.
They did everything to shelter me from the hardships they had known themselves.
And then at 22 I moved abroad to study and work, and life hit me like a speeding train.

It took me years to get myself back up as a full adult.
I don’t even think I’m there yet 100%.

So it’s very important to let your kids fall down and get back up as early as possible, with your guidance and supervision sure, but not coddling.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Lack of proper parenting.
I raised both to be responsible adults. The both get love and consequences. No matter how they tried to manipulate who I love more… now that they are teens. They see that they can not get away with responsibilities.
other parents? I don’t know.
who do you know that has been treated poorly?

Xoirwinkan · Answer

It actually starts earlier. In schools boys don't tend to perform as well as girls because they are super energetic and the environment isn't designed for their benefit. Also, female teachers often come down hard on 'boys' play' and boys get punished for being boys.

slatyb · Answer

It varies. In some families the expectation is that boys will have careers but the girls will marry and maintain the home, bear and raise children. When women remain with their parents they are expected to help maintain the home and to assist their aging parents.

SeekerOfTruth007 · Answer

If a girl complains about something, or needs help, that's "normal".

If a boy needs help and complains, he's a "pussy".

At least that's the way society has programmed us to think about one another and treat one another.

Taranis_Thunor · Answer

Because Western society hates men and we live under a matriarchal system where women have systemic privilege and if men say anything about it they should just "man up" (in other words "become apathetic").

FreyaRed · Answer

I think it depends on parents in much higher extent than on anything else.

MrChinaski · Answer

53% of girls in US high schools feel persistently sad and hopeless compared with 28% of boys. And you want to raise boys more like the way that girls are raised?

sage2021 · Answer

I was the baby in the family and I had a sister who was 18 months older than me.
I got a lot of affection from my mom (I didn't have a Dad), but my sister hardly ever got any attention.🤷🏼‍♀️

nastyb · Answer

and when these girls grow up, they find out that life for them is much harder than it is for men.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Because that is the way since time immemorial and it worked until the men stopped being men luckily the young men have taken up with their grandfathers rather than their fathers

Kassandra1994 · Answer

No its more the religous parentsbforcing religous crap to kids. What an ugly world we live in.

Xdressertiff · Answer

I wasn't close to anyone growing up but my sister was the golden child.

Likes2drive · Answer

Because they consider us tougher and able to handle things better than women so nobody cares and that’s why there is more homeless men than homeless women

RepleteAura · Answer

I think men and women both have their respective sets of challenges in finding their way in life. Being someone meaningful in your own mind is hard regardless of sex.

Laulenke · Answer

When I was growing up I was closer to my mother then my father so I really never got the right of passage thing with my father

Shiprex · Answer

Because girls are regarded as more valuable. Boys expendable.

jahaims · Answer

It's not just children. Females are coddled in general compared to males.

Sal_Monella · Answer

It is believed, correctly. That was can fend for ourselves.

Sickworld · Answer

I think no one really cares at the moment end. We are all wasted no matter how well raised.

omegaman89 · Answer

A man's value is earned. That's why. And infact, a man's first flower is usually during his interment.

CaptainSmartass · Answer

Because of institutional misandry. Simples...

zagor · Answer

Boys are unlikely to show up at Mom and Dad's with a swollen belly asking for help.

canamlusciouslad73 · Answer

Which is another reason America is headed for collapse, and sooner than you think.

msc545 · Answer

Most people really don't like boys very much, just like they don't like men very much.

CaribbeanPrincess91 · Answer

This is not true at all. It mainly happens the other way. Women just create communities that help them navigate their lives.

TheGiraffe4 · Answer

Probably society. Men seem to be able to “take it,” notice my sister and me, and see how my little brother is treated.

RachyRach · Answer

That's what society expects I suppose

The_Wolf_2002 · Answer

Ohk maam noted

Why are boys so neglected compared to girls when they grow up?

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