Online teen glorifying Columbine shooters—what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I met a 17 year old boy through social media. From the conversations we've had, he has told me that he doesn't really have friends and that he is currently being bullied.

But recently, something about our conversations has changed.

He has started talking repeatedly about Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the two perpetrators of the Columbine school shooting. At first, I thought maybe he was simply interested in the case, because unfortunately there are a lot of people who become interested in true crime.

But now he's saying things like he feels sorry for them and that the world deserved what they did.

He's also started making increasingly positive comments about them. Things along the lines of saying they were misunderstood, that they were pushed too far by other people, that they stood up against people who bullied them, or that they had a point about how cruel the world can be.

That is the part that really bothers me.

I'm not saying this kid is automatically dangerous. I don't know that, and I don't want to unfairly label a troubled teenager based on conversations online.

But when you combine the fact that he's 17, isolated, being bullied, has very few friends, and is beginning to admire people responsible for a mass killing, I feel like ignoring it would be irresponsible.

I'm also wondering whether talking to him directly could help or make things worse. I don't want to shame him or attack him for his thoughts and push him further into isolation. At the same time, I don't want to sit quietly while someone who may already be struggling becomes increasingly fascinated with people who committed something horrific.

I've been wondering whether I should encourage him to talk to a parent, school counselor, teacher, or another adult he trusts. Since I only know him online, I also don't know how much responsibility I can realistically take for his safety.

What would you do if you were in my position?

[exitseven]

School administrators share the blame in school shootings by tolerating bullying. I worked in a K-12 school system a year or so after Columbine happened. The school completely changed its bullying policies. They treated it as an assault which it was. The bully was arrested bu the school resource officer and the parents had to take a day off work, get a lawyer and go to court I do not know exact statistics but I do know that bullying became almost non existent.
Maybe you can just tell your friend not to do anything stupid

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Alex-Snow]

The kid needs help sooner rather than later. If you are able get him to talk to a parent, counselor or teacher.

[Alex-Snow]

Ty for the mho

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

• "I don't want to sit quietly while someone who may already be struggling becomes increasingly fascinated with people who committed something horrific"

Please transfer/share responsibility as soon as possible, so:

If he's mentioned a specific school, contact that school directly

If you're in the US, there's https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/what-we-do/programs/violence-prevention/say-something-anonymous-reporting-system/

If he has access to weapons, or if he starts saying that he wants to act, contact police directly

Regarding what to do in this conversation with him, your description tells me that you already figured out how to talk with him, your approach seems perfect to me👌🏼

[Rorroto]

I'm something of a moral philosopher so that's the route I'd take. I'd try to get him to discuss the ethics of it. I'd point out that he killed not just the bullies but innocent people, and then point out that even doing that to the bullies solved nothing and was more punishment than they deserved.

I'd point out that we're all, in many ways, the product of our genetics and environment and so punishment, unless it discourages future harmful actions, solves little to nothing.

He might well bring up that the shooters might well have sent a message that bullying would result in consequences and that they did therefore discourage future harmful actions. I'd then make the argument that if everyone responded to actions as mild as mere bullying by such violence the world would collapse into chaos.

So, I'd just argue the logic of why he's nonsensical.

[ohsheeT]

You have a lot to think about

First of all that's pretty detailed and for the guy to know the names of shooters

Is scary you almost really have to do something about it because it's 50/50 deal you don't know and you would be heartbroken if something happened

And I understand that you don't want To maybe do something because Who knows if the kids just talking but Everything that you just said Is nothing but a big red flag And you have to really do something about it I know you probably don't want to but You would never forgive yourself if something was to happen

If it was me I'd rather be safe than sorry if the guy hates you afterwards if that's okay losing a friend or losing somebody a chat buddy is 10 times easier than losing your child you have to do something about it

[Screenwriter]

Keep talking to him. Make it an open exchange. It sounds like he's angry, just as those other teens, people were who perpetrated mass shootings. Having an outlet for his anger is a safety valve.

And maybe as he trusts you more you can speak about not hurting others as you were hurt is never a good choice.

[Kaneki05]

Nothing much you can do but keep a friendship with him and hope he's not committed enough to do so, reality is other actions could be the thing that forces his hand. Like he may rush to do it if he thinks authorities are on his back. Many have dark thoughts but never do it which is why its hard to really know what will happen.

[Anonymous]

What I will say is, maybe get a few people to come together in his community to support him mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Being isolated, being bullied, and being mistreated are valid reasons to feel resentment and frustration towards others for how you are.

I’d say he should go to a school councilor to open up, and there should be people willing to support him. Fellow student body.

[DryGermanGuy]

In Germany, the police does something which translates to „threatener address“. It means a stern talking to the person, also an offer of help.
You could also forward your dialogue and concerns to the police anonymously.

[FreyaRed]

What would you do if you were in my position?

Nothing. I would stop talking with such weirdo.

[blackeagle007]

Valid point

[DonaldDarko]

He may not be a kid at all. You could be talking to a bunch of trolls laughing at everything you say while smoking pot in their mom's basement.

[jshm2]

Relax. Shooting kids is an American sport at this point. But at this point you are more of a danger than he is. Keep and eye, and stop being a Tenu criminal psychologist.

[Pterodon]

First I would ask if he even likes school and if not then ask why. What about it is making you hate going? Then LISTEN and take action. No one ever asked me or listened to me and I only lasted 10 years in school. I would’ve quit sooner but underage

[MrChinaski]

Report to police. Honestly, the chance of police acting is not high but... who knows... maybe they have other information on the same person.

[Nikki1989]

Report him before he kills somebody.

[blackeagle007]

Him saying these things sound scary. Perhaps contact someone that can help him wherever he lives

[Anonymous]

Encourage him to stand up for himself and take care of himself.

[duntoldya]

he is automatically dangerous. I would inform the authorities.

[msc545]

It's better for him to talk about it than to act on it.

[Anonymous]

I'd be letting his local pd know what he's saying.

[strateguy632]

block him. now.

[In_Trance]

You should get off the internet

[Asker]

What do you mean by that

[Staximus]

Contact his parents or the police